Chapter Nineteen
I have her again. And again.
The entire morning, I have her under me, on me, her legs spread or her lips parted with my cock choking her. I have us both sweaty and panting, bodies slick and sliding together. I leave more finger marks on her and the mark of my mouth beneath her left breast. I have owned her so thoroughly over the past several hours we have spent together, that she’ll feel me on her body for days to come, feel the soreness between her legs and remember it was me who made her feel that way.
I’m not sure she truly understands what she’s done by letting me have her body. Whether she understands she’s just signed her soul over to me. I don’t share. I don’t let things go. When they are mine, there’s nothing and no one who can take it away.
She’s sleeping again now, curled on her side facing the window on her floor bed, her house in a state of disarray all around us. We are going to get this place where it should be, there’s no way she’s doing this alone.
But I am going to need to speak to Sebastian.
How do I explain it to him? What could I possibly say that makes this okay? She’s ten years younger than I am, he’s warned us, me, to stay away from her. And I know why he wants it that way, I know he wants to keep her safe and being with one of us makes her a target, just like it made Olivia, Malakai’s wife and Willow a target. Surely, he knows I’d never let anything happen to her though.
I can make him understand.
Slipping out of bed, I get dressed and head downstairs, grabbing the keys to my car but before I leave, I send a text to her phone to let her know I’ll be back.
The drive to Bast’s doesn’t take long and the entire way there, I can smell her. The scent of her shampoo, the lotion she uses on her skin, and I hope it stays with me. Everything about her intoxicates me.
I punch in the code to Bast’s gate and pull my car up beside his SUV.
He opens the front door before I can even get out, a baby cradled in his arms and distress written all over his face .
“What is it?” I demand, panicking as I check the little girl in his arms. She’s awake and seemingly happy although half dressed in what looks like a scrap of material covering her.
“I can’t fucking figure this shit out man,” He groans, “This shouldn’t be this hard!”
“What?” I frown, confused.
“Her fucking clothes,” He snaps, “There’s buttons and holes everywhere! I don’t know how to put it on her!”
“Where’s Willow?” I follow him into the house, listening to the quiet coos of his tiny daughter.
“Spa day with Olivia and I am not calling her.” He says sternly, “She deserves this break and she’ll fucking regret marrying me if she finds out I can’t even dress our daughter.”
“Not sure Willow would ever regret marrying you, but okay,” I reach for Hope, “Let me see.”
“You reckon you can do it?” He scoffs but he hands her over.
“Never said that but you’re tired man, new baby and all, maybe it’s not as hard as it seems.”
He laughs without humor, “I haven’t slept in six days.”
I cringe because I know how that feels but keep my mouth shut as I carry the baby over to the couch and lay her down on my thighs. I was terrified to hold her the first time, she’s just so little and precious but I’m used to it now.
I tug at the material, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and there’s so many pieces I’ve no idea which part goes where. What looks like it should be an arm hole isn’t and why the fuck is there buttons at the top and the bottom.
“Can’t you get her something else?” I ask Bast, “Surely you have other clothes for her.”
“Of course I fucking do,” He snaps, “But they’re all the same! Willow got them from some store in the city and only buys these ones!”
“And you’ve never changed her?”
“Willow doesn’t let me!”
I roll my lips to hide my amusement. He is scattered to fuck.
“You need a nap.” I advise.
“Fuck you, asshole.”
I chuckle, “You’re going to have to call Willow.”
“Absolutely not.” Bast tugs at his hair and then pauses before he reaches for his cell, his thumbs moving across the screen quickly as he types. “I can sort this.”
Hope wiggles on my lap so I pick her back up and reach for one of the blankets on the back of the couch so I can drape it over her.
He tucks the cell back into his pocket, “What are you doing here anyway?”
Running my finger down the sweet slope of Hope’s nose, I shake my head, “Just checking in.” The lie slips off my tongue.
What the fuck am I thinking? I can’t tell him right now. Not yet.
He narrows his eyes, clearly sensing my bullshit but he doesn’t call me on it.
Eventually, Hope falls asleep in my arms, and Bast sits quietly next to me, somewhat stuck in his own head. When I think silence is the only thing that’s going to happen today, I hear the front door open.
“Bast?”
I know that voice, I hear it in my dreams.
Savannah saunters into the room, impeccably dressed like my hands hadn’t been all over her this morning. Her long blonde hair doesn’t have a strand out of place and any marks left by my fingers are covered by her clothes. She looks rested and bright.
I hadn’t realized I’d frozen on the couch, staring at her until Bast gets up and blocks my view of her, pulling her into a tight hug.
Her eyes meet mine over her brother’s shoulder, a small frown on her brows that disappears the moment Bast pulls away.
“Everything okay?” She swallows nervously, “What was the SOS text for?”
Oh shit. He must have text her when he pulled his cell out. I subtly shake my head at her, letting her know I haven’t told him anything.
Her shoulders relax and her eyes drop to the baby still sleeping in my arms.
“Help me,” Sebastian practically begs, “I need help.”
Her eyes widen, “What is it?”
“Hope,” He cringes, “Fuck, I can’t fucking dress her.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
Getting up from the couch, I round it and stop in front of her, pulling the blanket away to show her the mess of her clothes.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh,” Bast complains, “Help.”
With one more nervous fleeting glance at me, she gently takes Hope and walks back to the couch, laying her down onto the cushions to get a better look. Then she laughs and shakes her head and fixes the clothes in a matter of seconds, popping the buttons where they need to be, without waking the baby once.
“Don’t tell Willow,” Sebastian suddenly blurts as he reaches for his daughter. “She does so much, and I need her to know she can take time away when she needs it.”
“Bast,” Savannah sighs, “It’s okay to need help. Maybe I can take Hope for a night or two? Give you both some rest?”
“Take her, no,” His eyes widen, “Absolutely not.”
Savannah softens toward her brother and before she can open her mouth to speak, he’s talking again.
“I trust you all with my life, but Hope stays with me.”
“Okay man,” I pat his shoulder. “We’ll stay for a bit.”
He sighs and collapses down onto the couch, his eyes closing for a minute, the newborn exhaustion a very real thing darkening the space under his eyes, “You two never let me down, you know that?”
My heart stutters in my chest. I feel Savannah’s eyes on the side of my face, but I don’t look at her. The guilt I didn’t feel this morning has just hit me like a tidal wave.
She knows it too.