Chapter Thirty #2
“Fuck,” he curses, the softness of his lips teasing my skin as they form around the word. I imagine him moving lower, his nose running along the curves of my breasts, teasing me.
Focus, Scarlett.
I quickly finish wrapping the bandage on his knuckles, then notice the cut on his eyebrow.
It must sting because Kian collapses back onto his bed, dragging me forward with him. My palm catches the mattress beside his shoulder.
I hover over him. “Kian, it could get infected. You’re being a baby.”
“I’m a man, Scar, but that shit stings!”
I sigh, climbing onto his bed, my knees braced on either side of him now. I feel him tense beneath me. “Then hold still. And put your hands here.” I place his hands on my thighs. “Just squeeze if it stings.”
“I’m not going to hurt you just because I’m in pain.”
There’s a more selfish part of me that wants to take his words for more than they are. So I laugh. “I’ve got thick thighs. Make them useful, Captain.”
Kian glides his rough palms up from my knees and slowly warms my thighs. When I disinfect the cut, his fingers tighten, and something cooler settles in my stomach.
I want to do it again just to elicit that same response.
But then his gaze catches mine, and my breath stumbles. Before I can think better of it, I lean in and press a kiss beside the cut. We’re chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat, my lips grazing his forehead.
Kian’s eyes are shining, his mouth slightly parted as he gazes up at me.
I clear my throat. “My mom used to do that. Sorry. That was weird.”
His lips pull into the tiniest, almost undetectable smile. Kian points to the cut on the corner of his lip. “One more.”
My chest rises and falls harder. “Does it hurt?”
“Terribly.”
I kiss the tiny bruise. I pull back just an inch to his eyes closed, and when they open again, I swear electricity crackles through the room. Kian’s gaze drops to my lips just as mine goes to his.
We’re so close—just an inch and I could taste him. I could have all his sweet words right in my mouth. Have him exactly where I wish he’d been since freshman year.
Kian’s hands slide higher on my thighs. My mouth runs dry, and my body begs for friction. Stupidly, I drop my weight on his lap, and the low, deep guttural groan pours from his lips and burrows underneath my skin.
When his gaze falls to where we’re connected, I imagine what it would feel like with nothing there. That thought sparks like a live wire when Kian’s darkened gaze catches mine.
There’s a hypnotic pull that makes us lean in, and Kian’s strong arm slips around my waist.
Our noses brush and I nearly moan. “Kian.”
“Scar,” he breathes back. “Either I’m misreading this, or you want me to kiss you.”
Hearing it out loud makes me want to dig myself a hole.
What I’ve wanted from guys is usually a good time and no talking.
With Kian, it’s like I want to stretch whatever this is until I’ve wrapped myself in it.
He could just brush his lips against mine and I think it could be enough. I’d make it be enough for me.
This is where I want to be, trapped in the heat of him, tucked against his chest. He’s so safe, so warm, so otherworldly, that I know if the moment passes, I won’t ever know what it feels like to have Kian Ishida want me.
“Only if you want to,” I whisper.
“Fuck,” he mutters and then he palms the back of my head and presses his mouth to mine.
I’ve imagined this countless times. The way he runs his teeth over his full bottom lip, how they pull into a smile whenever he spots me in the library. His lips have always been on my mind. I knew they would be sweet and soft, as if landing on a cloud.
But it’s not that at all. Instead, I’m on fire.
Kian’s kiss is like tasting sunshine. It’s all-consuming, completely ravishing, and makes me forget where I end and he begins. He catches my bottom lip, pulling slightly as he sucks, and when his mouth parts, I slip my tongue over his, whimpering from the sudden warmth of him.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice so gentle that it shakes something stubborn inside me.
I moan, pulling him right back, hoping this never ends. This is the first time I’ve enjoyed just kissing this much. It was always the more intimate part of sex for me, so I limited it. But with Kian, I’m desperate.
My hips buck into his and he curses into my mouth, holding my waist tighter before he flips and presses his palm against my navel. I swallow the sound of pure pleasure that erupts inside me.
“If you want a kiss, Scar, you’re getting a kiss. Don’t distract me.”
I exhale a low laugh. “I’m not one of your assignments, Kian.”
“But I’d like to ace you.”
I laugh. The pressure of his lips breaks a dam inside me, but he keeps his hips away.
He doesn’t let his hands wander beyond my face, doesn’t take this kiss as an invitation for anything else.
But I want to tell him that I want him everywhere, that I’ve been dreaming of him since the first time I saw him.
Because he kisses like he listens, like I’m the only thing that exists.
“I want—”
Pop. Suddenly, a sharp scratch breaks through the quiet of the room, forcing us to jerk and giving me a moment to orient myself, to understand the gravity of what the hell I’ve just done.
With no music, the moment crumbles before my eyes. I sink back into the harsh reality where Kian is my friend. The same one who has a date with another girl, one who can wear his jersey and go to his games. Someone he’s wanted for a long time.
“Shit, sorry,” Kian says quickly. “That happens sometimes. It’s an old record player.”
My face is hot, and I think he realizes that I’m on the verge of panic because he pulls back, letting me out from under him.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Scarlett—”
“Can you take me home?” I blurt out. I can’t be here. Can’t even chance a look at him and see whatever emotion is dancing in his eyes. Or worse, let him see mine. “You’ll need to change the bandage on your hand tomorrow.”
I awkwardly put the items back in the first aid kit, praying my face hasn’t blended in with my hair.
It’s a long minute before he speaks. “You want to leave?”
My gaze finds his and it’s worse than I thought. Kian rubs the back of his neck, like he’s recalling the way I ran my fingernails over it and into his hair. Those shining eyes are dull with confusion and a glimpse of hurt. You knew this would happen.
But he’s the one who’s going out with Cassie. Not me.
“Yeah, I mean, you said you’d give me a ride, right?”
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “Of course I’ll give you a ride, Scarlett.”
I turn, heading straight for the door and out his bedroom. Summer’s walking up the stairs when she spots me. She’s about to wave when her gaze drifts behind me to where Kian’s putting on his T-shirt as he shuffles down the steps.
Her gaze ping-pongs between us, her mouth parting in realization.
I panic. “Great tutoring session, Kian! You’ll ace that test.” I sprint down the steps toward the hallway, where I bump right into Cole. Dammit. Why is everyone here tonight?
“Careful, Red,” Cole murmurs.
“Scarlett,” Kian corrects from behind me. The sound of it burns down my spine, heat licking at my skin like I’ve stepped too close to a fire.
Cole raises his hands, pretending to cower. “I’m sorry. Don’t punch me.”
Kian ignores him. “Scarlett, we should talk.”
Frustration seeps through me, but I don’t know at what. Me, for creating this mess, or Kian, for forcing me to stand before it. “About what?”
He gives me a single look.
“It was a kiss, Kian,” I whisper.
“Kiss? What kiss?” Cole asks, entirely too interested.
That’s when Summer reappears, having changed into a baggy Toronto Thunder T-shirt and shorts. “What are you guys talking about?” she asks.
“A kiss,” Cole tells her. “Yo, Seb, you’re missing out!”
Sebastian’s quick to step out of his room and into the hallway where we’re all gathered like it’s a town hall meeting. Cole fills him in with too much enthusiasm.
“Wait, like Aiden’s kiss?” Sebastian asks.
All eyes fall to Summer. Suddenly, I want to know what “Aiden’s kiss” means because the girl turns bright red. “Hey, this isn’t about me. What kiss, Kian?”
The word kiss is starting to feel like punches to my sternum. How the hell did I get here?
“It was nothing,” I blurt out.
Kian’s still watching me, carefully. “Nothing?”
I go into emergency response mode because the way he looks at me shouldn’t be allowed. He’s not supposed to look at me like he doesn’t regret it.
“Yeah, I mean, look.” I turn to Cole, who’s grinning, but it melts off the moment I step closer. “Can I kiss you?”
Everything in me screams to stop. But this is the only way I know how to fix this.
“Yes.” It’s out of his mouth instantly.
So I do. I kiss him like I would anyone else, like I have with other guys. Short and quick.
It’s not even close to the way Kian’s mouth lit up every erogenous zone in my body. Like he had the code to each one and flicked them on one by one.
When I pull back, it’s dead silent. Cole’s beaming like he’s won the prize pig at the county fair.
I shrug, but I don’t dare look at Kian. “I’ll get an Uber.”
Coward.
“I’ll drop you!” Summer says, grabbing her keys.
She bolts out of the house almost as fast as I do, and I follow her relief like oxygen.
The whole drive to Iona, she doesn’t bring it up.
Instead, she talks about everything else, giving me something, anything, to hold on to besides the mess I just made.