Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jenna
“Wow, there’s a lot of people here.” I watched out the windshield as more people than I’d anticipated filled the sidewalk outside the restaurant and spilled into the parking lot.
Liam turned in his seat to face me and grabbed my hand. “You okay with this?”
“Of course. I’m excited to see everyone.” I knew a lot of them, and Juliette loved all of Dylan’s friends she’d met, so I was sure I would too.
“Are you okay being here with me?”
That was a harder question. I’d been out with Liam and our friends many times before, wishing for what I had now.
But now that those wishes were coming true…
I was more than okay with it. I loved it, but I didn’t know how to do it.
I felt like a teenager with my first crush, but I was expected to act like a grownup. “Yeah.”
Oh man, that didn’t sound convincing. There was no way he’d let it go.
Liam frowned. “I know this is new, and we’re moving fast. We don’t need to tell anyone yet, if that’s what you want.”
“No! I don’t want to keep it a secret. I’m so happy, I want to scream it to the world. It’s just...is it silly that I don’t know how to do this?”
Liam raised my hand and kissed my knuckles. “Not silly at all, Firefly. It's new for me too. I’ve dated before, but not like this. Being with you feels more serious, more real, than anything ever has before.”
His sincerity threatened to melt my heart and all my defenses.
“There are no rules,” he continued. “You want to stick by my side, I’ll be happy to have you there.
You want to go hang out with your friends, go right ahead.
Just know this, Jenna—with me here, you’re safe.
You need to use the ladies’ room, I’ll stand outside the door.
Hell, I’ll go in with you. You want to drink, I’ll watch you and your drink like a hawk.
You want to talk to someone across the room, I’ll have my eye on you, and I’ll be there in a heartbeat if you need me.
No one is going to hurt you. Never again. ”
My heart was officially melted. I couldn’t let myself get too dependent on that, as tempting as it was. He couldn’t always be there. But the fact that he offered it? That sometimes I could let my guard down? Amazing.
“Liam,” I whispered. “That’s…thank you. It wasn’t you I was worried about, though.
I want to be a good girlfriend to you. I only had that one boyfriend in college, and I didn’t like how I was with him.
I was clingy when we were out and pushed him away when we were alone. So that doesn’t help me here at all.”
“Don’t compare anything about us to him,” Liam bit out.
“Don’t blame him. I used him to experiment. I was curious. I wanted to try things on my own terms.”
His expression gentled into a pout. “I still don’t like it.”
I kissed Liam’s palm. I definitely didn’t want to push him away.
I was more comfortable with him than I ever thought I could be.
And he made me want…everything. God, did he make me want.
When we kissed in the park, and he held me, touching me so carefully, my core throbbed.
Electricity zapped through me in places I hadn’t even known existed.
I could barely focus to put one foot in front of the other on the walk back to my car.
And then back at my apartment, we’d kissed more on my couch, with him once again positioning us where there was no possibility of penis contact.
My body already craved him, and the way he was so considerate and protective, my head did too.
My heart, well, that was already a complete goner.
Liam snaked a hand through my hair and pulled me toward him, holding my gaze, his eyes as intense as his words.
“I like you just the way you are, Firefly. I’d glue you to my side if I could, so don’t worry about being clingy.
And it will be a pleasure for us both as we slowly build up to doing more physically.
If you ever feel the need to push me away, it’s because I fucked up and moved too fast. We’ll get there when we get there, and in whatever way works for us.
If there’s certain things you’re never into, we’ll find other ways to be together. No pressure.”
My core throbbed again just from his words. Like he knew it somehow, or maybe he was feeling the same, his hand tightened around my hair and his lips brushed over mine, whisper soft.
“I already want more,” I murmured against his lips.
Liam smiled and gave me a quick kiss. “Soon, Firefly.” He pulled away, leaving a chill where his warmth had been. “Now I need a second to pull myself together before I leave the car.”
I looked down at the erection tenting his dark jeans. It didn’t scare me, I realized, and joy bubbled through me.
“You think it's funny?” he asked with a chuckle.
“No, I’m just happy. Really, really happy.” I didn’t know how I’d react when it was time for more, but I knew without a doubt he’d do everything he could to make it good for me.
“Me too. Ready?”
I nodded. Then I thought of something else. “Wait!”
“What?”
“I don’t like PDA.”
“Okay,” he agreed easily.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I clarified, his acceptance making me want to explain. “It’s just…if someone’s watching, it could make them notice me and think...things.”
His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. “If anyone looks at you like that, or fucking breaths in your direction with ill intent, it’ll be the last breath they take.”
Unease tightened my chest. I knew this would happen. “No, no. I freak out easily over nothing. You can’t go after someone just because they scared me. You’ll want to kill everyone.”
His expression softened, but there was still fire in his eyes. “I hate that you live with that fear. Don’t worry about me. I’ll only maim someone if they deserve it. The rest I’ll just scare away. Okay?”
“Yeah, I can live with that.” It sounded perfect, actually—if he could control himself.
“Can I hold your hand?” he asked.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
“Kiss you?”
“Little kisses?”
“Hold you against my side?”
“Yes.”
“Got it. Wait for me,” Liam said, and then he stepped out of the car and seconds later, he was at my door. Holding hands, we walked over to our friends.
Nicky turned from where she was standing on the sidewalk with the guys from Liam’s station, and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as they bounced between Liam and me and our clasped hands.
She ran over to meet us, practically vibrating with excitement.
I’d talked to her and Juliette, of course, but this was the first time we’d seen each other since I’d been with him.
She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight, forcing Liam and me to release hands. “You’re happy,” she said.
“So happy,” I responded, even though it wasn’t a question.
“And you’re together.”
“Yes.”
Liam chuckled under his breath and continued the remaining few steps to his buddies, leaving me with Nicky.
She let out a squeak and hugged me tighter. “I’m so happy for you!”
“I’m happy, too. Really happy.”
“You need to tell me everything!”
“I will, but not here. Girls’ night tomorrow?” Liam was working, and it would be Juliette’s first night with Dylan back at work.
“Absolutely!”
I caught Liam watching me just like he said he would. He held my gaze as Nicky and I walked over to where he was standing with Ryan, Brady, Ethan, and Cole.
He put his arm around my shoulder, but just rested it gently there and didn’t tuck me against his side the way I’d already grown accustomed to.
The way I loved. So I did it. I grabbed his fingers and wrapped my arm around him, closing the distance until my cheek rested on that perfect little nook where his chest met his shoulder.
I looked up to see the sweetest smile on his lips.
He tightened his arm around me and searched my face, a question in his eyes before he touched his lips to mine, a mere brush, but it spoke volumes.
It spoke of affection and claiming and caring and consent and boundaries and want and understanding, and God, he was amazing.
From the comfort of Liam’s side, I greeted the rest of the crew.
“Happy for you two,” Ethan said, and the rest echoed the sentiment.
“Hey, guys,” Moose said as he and the rest of the men and women from Station 7 came over.
I said hi to the guys and hugged the girls.
I’d gotten to know them all in the hospital when Dylan was injured and Juliette went missing.
Their station was near Liam’s so they all worked together a lot, and they were the ones Juliette went to when Dylan was in the fire.
Penelope and the other women had been so supportive of Juliette after that mess, which endeared them to me as well.
Nicky and I did our best, but we couldn’t empathize with the worries of being with a firefighter the way they could.
A chill went through me. Would I be able to handle Liam being in danger? I hated it, but it didn’t lessen my interest in him.
“You good?” he whispered near my ear.
“Yes.” I smiled, and his eyes softened as he smiled back.
He wrapped his arm around me again. This time he tucked me into his side, and I knew it was because I’d given him the okay last time. I melted into him a little more.
“Is Beth here?” I asked Sledge, one of the firefighters from Station 7.
“No, she’s home, probably hacking into some secret files. This would be a lot for her.”
“I don’t blame her. It is a lot.” His wife, Beth, had agoraphobia.
From what I’d heard, she’d come a long way, and while I knew it was still hard for her, I was impressed with how well she handled it, including knowing and respecting her limits.
She was also a computer genius and had used her skills to help Juliette and Dylan, so she’d always be special to me. “Tell her I said hello.”