Chapter 25 #2
He squeezed me back, resting his cheek against my head. “Logically, I know that. Even if I were there, I might’ve just been killed along with them.”
A chill ran through me. “Logic and emotions are very different, though.”
“Yep.”
He didn’t say anything else. Didn’t push me. But I felt the pressure of my words trying to burst out. I needed to tell him why I’d freaked out earlier. And I really needed to tell him about Snake Eyes.
“So…” I started. Liam waited patiently for me to continue. “Remember I told you that things with Brian mostly stopped after the second time I told my parents?”
He stiffened, every muscle tensing. “Yeah, I remember.”
“It mostly did, but there was something after that. Well, two things, but they were connected. I was in middle school, and some of the older girls on the bus were giving me a hard time. One day, two of them followed me off. They were saying stuff, and I didn’t want to go home with them right there, but I didn’t know what to do.
I was scared, and then the next thing I knew, Brian was calling my name and jogging across the street to me.
I felt like a traitor. I was relieved to see the person I hated so much.
As soon as he reached me, he grabbed me and kissed me.
A hard, possessive kiss, his tongue shoving into my mouth.
I knew what he was doing, and some part of me was ha—” I froze, the word stuck in my throat.
“I was hap—” Please don’t think I wanted it.
But if I was doing this, I needed him to know all of it. God, it was hard to admit, though.
Liam’s fist balled against my side. “It’s okay, Firefly,” he gritted out. “You can tell me anything.”
I squeezed my eyes closed. “I was happy those girls saw it,” I croaked out into his chest. “I mean, it wasn’t even close to the worst thing he’d done to me, and I was also so disgusted by it—disgusted I’d acquiesced to it,” I rushed to add.
Liam pressed a kiss to my temple. I took a breath and opened my eyes, but I didn’t dare make eye contact with him.
“The girls had walked past us by the time he stopped kissing me. But then he called them back, and they came, because I wasn’t the only one who did whatever he said.”
I ignored the growl I felt vibrate through Liam’s chest.
“He said, ‘Do you know who I am?’ They nodded nervously, because everyone knew the star quarterback. Then he said, ‘Don’t mess with my girl. If she tells me you even looked at her again, you’ll be blackballed from every dude on every school team.
If I hear one word from Jenna about you, you’d better hope you’re into the chess club.
’ For a while after that, he was often there at the bus stop waiting for me.
He’d put on a show of touching me and kissing me, and I didn’t stop him.
Those girls didn’t bother me again, and I appreciated that as much as I hated it. ”
“Fi—”
“Wait,” I interrupted. That was only the prologue to the next thing. “Let me get through this.”
He nodded and kissed my forehead.
“A couple of months later, he hurt his shoulder playing football. He was in a sling. One night, my parents were out, and I was sleeping. Suddenly, I woke up to Brian on top of me. I didn’t even hear him come in, but he was on me and I couldn’t move.
He held me down with his good hand and I felt his penis…
down there. He said he needed me. That it hurt too much to jerk off.
He said I owed him for helping with those girls. I said no—I swear I did.”
Liam’s arms locked around me. “Not a damn thing was your fault, Firefly.”
“He begged, and I don’t know why he was so persuasive. It really felt like I couldn’t say no, even though he didn’t force me.”
“He did force you. Force doesn’t just mean he physically overpowered you. Intimidation is force, too. Coercion is force. Scaring you is force.”
“He rolled off me, and instead of trying to get away, I made room for him on my bed, and he pulled his pants down and told me to jerk him off and give him a blow job, and I did. He didn’t even touch me at first. I just did it on my own.”
“Not on your own. He forced you.”
“Near the end, he held my head, and I felt like I was suffocating. He-he came in my mouth, and I couldn’t move away.
Then—after he was done, and we were still on the bed, he rolled me off and climbed on top of me again.
I didn’t know what he was going to do…I thought he might…
” I choked on the word, unable to get it out.
It felt too real, the fear I had in that moment.
“But he just rubbed himself on me, and then he thanked me and said, ‘See you soon,’ before he left.”
Liam shifted, bringing both his hands up to hold my face.
Fire raged in his eyes and tension lined his face, but his hands on me were gentle.
“Those two times he abused you have nothing to do with each other. He did not help you. Helping shouldn’t hurt.
Shouldn’t be scary. And he did not give you a choice.
He used your fear to manipulate you. To control you.
” He pulled me back in and held me tight against his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry he did that to you, Firefly. ”
We held onto each other in silence, and it was so tempting to just soak in his rage-filled comfort, but I had to tell him about Snake Eyes.
I might’ve freaked out the most when I was held down last night, but the whole situational awareness thing had been a wake-up call too, and I refused to be too stupid to live.
Even though I knew it would unleash a beast in Liam, it had to be done.
“Thank you for trusting me with that.” He smoothed his hand over my head and down my back, over and over.
His warmth and security seeped into me, and I melted against him, exhaustion threatening to pull me under, but I forced my tired eyes open to look at him. “I have something else to tell you.”
“That was enough for one night. You’re practically asleep. Just relax.”
I wanted to tell him, I truly did, but his touch was so comforting, and I really was so tired.
“Okay,” I mumbled. “Later.”
“Shhh,” he soothed.
“Firefly,” Liam whispered.
I curled up tighter, too content to move.
“Firefly,” he whispered again, a little louder.
“Mmm.”
“Wake up, sleepy head.”
Wake up? That meant... I opened my eyes, and the most incredible sight greeted me. His hair was tousled, his face was soft and sleepy, and his chest—my pillow, apparently—was broad and strong and eye level, as usual. Even now, he smelled fresh, faintly like mint and woods.
I’d slept with Liam here. Not just in the house, but on the same couch, our limbs tangled around each other.
And I was safe. Better than safe. I wanted to sink back into him, and I also wanted to dance around the room in celebration, because there was no part of me, not even the tiniest bit, that was freaked out by it.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I stretched and twisted, freezing when I came face to face with morning wood tenting his gym shorts. I wasn’t prepared to do anything with it, but I was pleasantly surprised it didn’t seem to bother me.
“Good morning.”
“My eyes are up here,” he teased.
I sat up, twisting to face him. “I’m fine,” I said, because I knew he was trying to distract me from something possibly unpleasant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. Did you sleep, too?”
“Don’t apologize. I loved sleeping like this with you.” He smiled, but there was worry in it. “You good?”
“I loved it, too. And yes, I’m good.” I’d usually be up all night after a nightmare like that, and also after rehashing that memory, but I’d slept so well.
I didn't know what time I’d fallen back to sleep, but it couldn’t have been more than a couple of hours ago, and yet I felt ready to take on the world, and there was only one explanation—Liam.
I trailed my hand over his chest, exploring the ridges and valleys of his muscles.
Liam’s hand tightened in my hair. He didn’t move otherwise, but his eyes darkened and softened.
Lust and affection. It was a heady combination I couldn’t resist. Didn’t want to resist. I circled my palm over his nipple.
It hardened, so I flicked my fingertip and pinched it gently through his T-shirt.
“Firefly,” he warned, his voice rough with restraint.
I ignored it. “Touch me.”
His hands mimicked mine, caressing my breasts over my pajama top, tracing circles around my nipples.
Teasing and tantalizing me. I wanted more.
I pinched his nipple, tugging gently on it.
He did it better, rolling and pulling my nipples, and electricity shot through my body from my breasts straight to my core. I squeezed my thighs together.
“You want more, Firefly? You want me to finger you?”
“Yes.” My dreams may be confused, but my head and heart trusted Liam. And all of me wanted everything from him.
He turned me, moving my body like it weighed nothing, leaning me back against him. One arm wrapped around me, his hand on my chest. His other hand rested on my lower thigh. “This good?”
“Yes.” My voice barely sounded like me.
“Inside only,” he said. It was a reassurance, not a question. “Pull your pants down.”
I lifted my hips and pulled my pajama pants down, no hesitation.
His hand trailed over my chest, up my throat, and tilted my head back. A deep kiss, and with his tongue tangling with mine, he speared his finger into me. I moaned into his mouth. Without thought, my hips rocked against his hand, seeking more.
“That’s it. Fuck my hand. Take what you want.”
God, the need in his voice, the sexy rasp, made me feel so wanted, made me want more.
His hand slid under my shirt, up my ribs, and latched onto my breast. Kneading, teasing, rolling my nipple between his thumb and finger.
Two fingers slid in and out, twisting and touching places I didn’t know existed. Pressure built, begging for more.
In and out his fingers moved, twisting and bending, over and over, inside me only, drowning me in pleasure. A scream tore from my throat. I cried out his name. Grabbed him and held on, because without him I’d shatter into a million pieces. I writhed in his arms, against his hands.
The tension eased, and I melted into him. Looked up to see him smiling down at me, then down to see one hand holding my breast and the other on my…pussy. I guess if I was calling his a cock, I could call mine a pussy. I held his arm to me and looked back up again and smiled at him.
“You’re amazing, Firefly.”
“You weren’t too bad yourself.”