Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Jenna
“Hey, Firefly,” Liam whispered, waking me. His hand smoothed over my hair, and I burrowed deeper into him. “Let’s go in. It’s late.”
I slowly opened my eyes to a sky full of stars, the glow of the last few embers of the dying fire, and the most incredible man beside me.
“No,” I mumbled. Even with the horrifying revelations of this morning, the frustrating conversation with the cop, and self-defense lessons that even I had to admit were helpful, we still managed to have a great evening.
We played super competitive Connect Four and ate too many s’mores, and now that I was finally relaxed, I didn’t want it to end. “Not yet. Look at all the stars.”
He was quiet for a long moment, gently pushing the swing. “You can take my room, and I’ll sleep in the guest—”
I silenced him with my hand over his mouth. “Stop talking.” I sat up, keeping my hand over his lips. “I want to stay out here because I’m enjoying it, not because I’m avoiding going in. I loved sleeping with you last night, and I absolutely want to do it again.”
His eyes found mine in the dark, searching for my truth as he kissed my palm and gently lowered my hand. “I know today’s been a tough day, and I know I forced you to come here. I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you into bed.”
I hated that he thought that. Truth is, there was nowhere I wanted to be more than in his bed, in his arms. “I’m scared, but not of you. I promise. Take me to bed with you, Liam.”
He stood, pulling me into a hug. “I’m going to protect you with everything I have, Firefly.”
“I know you will.” I had no doubt he would do his absolute best. I also had no illusions that he could protect me from everything forever.
We washed up, and when I came out of the bathroom, Liam was standing by his closet, waiting.
“C’mere.” He took my hand and tugged me closer, then pointed inside his closet.
There, propped up against the wall right next to the door, was a baseball bat.
“It’s here for now, and we can move it closer to the bed if you’d like.
There are also nightlights in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and hallway.
Is there anything else I can do to make you feel safe?
Do you want me to push the bed against the wall? ”
Warmth spread through my chest, and I fell in love with him even more. “No, this is more than enough.” I steered him toward the bed. When the back of his knees hit the bed, he sat, and I stepped between his legs. “I’ll be good just having you with me.”
“You’ll be the big spoon again?”
“Maybe…can we decide when we’re ready to go to sleep?”
“You’re not ready to sleep?” He frowned, worry marring his handsome face.
I slid my hands up his shoulders and grabbed hold of his hair. “Nope.” I lowered my lips to his, liking how we were almost the same height with him sitting. “I’ve dreamed of being in your bed for so long, Liam. They aren’t going to ruin this for us.”
Liam rewarded me with a brilliant smile, then he lifted my pajama top and flicked his tongue over my nipple.
“I’ve dreamed of having you here, too, Firefly.
Come to bed with me.” He held my hips and pulled me down on the bed with him, and soon I had no other thoughts or feelings besides how amazing he made me feel.
My phone vibrated on the nightstand. I ignored it and nuzzled into Liam.
“It’s early for a Sunday morning. Maybe you should see who’s calling?”
“Ugh. I’m too comfy for you to be so reasonable.” I leaned over to grab it anyway, though, because once again, it was hard to disagree with him when he was so...well, reasonable, and as I was starting to learn, I’d been acting on emotional impulses for most of my life.
It was Tyler! Relief washed over me, but nerves quickly took hold. He’d been ignoring my texts and calls all week. I even called my parents to make sure they’d heard from him, and they had. He was only avoiding me, the horrible sister who was skipping his graduation.
Liam was watching me with concern. I didn’t know if this was going to be a quick hello or a heavy talk, which I’d rather not have in front of him, but I didn’t want to be rude and walk away either.
I sat up against the headboard, forced a smile, and swiped across to answer. No more secrets, right?
“Hey, Teddy Bear!”
“Hi.”
His cold, distant voice pierced my heart. Even worse, he didn’t call me Jen Jen. He always called me Jen Jen.
“How are you?” I asked with way too much enthusiasm. “It sounds like you’re out? What are you doing so early?”
“Study group in the library.”
“That’s good!”
“Sure.” At least he’d started out polite, even it had been indifferent. Now his voice dripped with disdain.
I joked anyway, refusing to accept what was painfully obvious. “So you thought that as long as you were up early on a Sunday, you might as well wake me too?”
“Ha. Yeah.” Well, my attempt at lightening the mood fell flat. “Listen,” he said, pausing to clear his throat. “Uh, someone asked if they can buy a grad ticket from me. I just wanted to check again if you were going to come or not.”
My stomach rose into my throat, and I had to swallow hard before I could answer.
Liam put his hand on my knee, heavy and warm and grounding.
I felt his eyes on me, but I knew if I looked at him, I’d cry, so I didn’t.
“I’m so sorry, Ty. I really can’t.” Somehow, I managed to get the words out without choking on them.
“No problem,” he said flippantly, but I heard his disappointment. “I figured. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of people who want to come.”
Brian. He thought Brian wanted to go and I didn’t. “Tyler…”
“Gotta run.”
He hung up before I could cobble together an excuse. Or beg for his forgiveness—and his love. Tears burned the back of my eyes, and I tried futilely to blink them away.
Liam sat up next to me and raised his arm, inviting me in. I scooched closer and collapsed into him.
“I don’t know what to do. We’ve stayed close all these years, but I feel like I’m losing him now, and it’ll never be the same again.”
“I have a few ideas.” He held up his thumb, starting a list. “I kill Brian.” He raised his index finger.
“I seriously maim him. He can’t come if he’s in the hospital.
” Another finger. “I abduct him and lock him up for as long as you want to stay.” Another finger raised.
“I have him arrested.” Just his pinky was left.
He hesitated, thinking. “Or any combination. I like abduct and torture. And then you get to go to your brother’s graduation in peace. ”
Liam sounded way too eager about all those options. I couldn’t help but laugh, although it came out somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
I’d never let him get in trouble when it was years too late to make any difference, but it made me feel warm and gooey that he wanted to. “The laws aren’t in my favor for him to be arrested, and the rest sound tempting, but no.”
“What if I went with you? I’ll behave, but any of those are still on the table if he gives me reason.” He said behave like it was a dirty word, making me smile despite everything.
I sighed, the weight of the decision heavy on my heart.
“When I was thirteen, I begged my parents to celebrate Christmas with just our family. They said no. The more the merrier, my mom said, and she laughed at her joke, and they never even asked me why I wanted that, or why I cared so much. I made a promise to myself that day that once I was an adult and was in control of my own life, I would never see him again. I’ve mostly kept that promise so far, but is it worth breaking it to go to Tyler’s graduation? ”
“Would thirteen-year-old Jenna be so happy to have a sexy, soldier boyfriend to be her bodyguard that she’d grant a temporary exoneration from that promise?”
“No, thirteen-year-old Jenna was scared of boys.”
Liam pressed a long kiss against my temple. Holding me close, he murmured, “I wish I knew you then, Firefly. I wish I could’ve protected you.”
“I wasn’t ready for you then, but I’m so glad I have you now.”
“What do you want to do? How can we honor your promise to yourself, and also give you what you want for Tyler?”
I shrugged. I couldn’t see any way to have both.
But hearing the hurt in Ty’s voice...like he was giving up on me.
..that hurt bad. I’d felt strong for staying away, but now it felt like weakness.
I didn’t want to let my fear win. Or even worse, for Brian to win.
If I went, there was a chance Brian wouldn’t be there anyway, and even if he was, what was the worst that would happen?
“Maybe I’ll just suck it up and deal with possibly seeing Brian.
I can’t abandon Tyler, not if it matters this much to him. ”
Liam bristled, his arm tightening around me.
“First of all, if you go, you are not just sucking it up. If you go, it’s because you’ve made a decision that being there is important to you.
That’s your choice, and making your choice gives you the power,” he said firmly.
“You’re also going to have me by your side every second, and if that asshole even looks at you, he’s going to regret it.
Furthermore, even if I wasn’t there, you are so much stronger than you were, and I have no doubt you’d be okay with or without me.
“Second, if you choose not to go, that is not abandoning Tyler. You can be there for him in any way that works for you. You can invite him here. We can visit him privately before or after graduation. We can take him on a celebratory vacation after graduation.
“It’s your choice, Jenna. You are not at anyone’s mercy, and you never will be again. You can do anything that feels right to you. And whatever you choose, I will be right by your side.”