12HarperWaffles
Harper
Waffles
Harper woke up on Ash’s couch and stared at the ceiling. Cold, gray light from the tall windows flickered in cloud patterns.
They had kissed. There had been kissing.
But that couldn’t be right. Ash said he was her friend and that their arrangement was strictly friends helping friends.
But they had kissed.
She could tell by the empty feeling in the air that Ash wasn’t home. Nothing moved. But in the kitchen, the faint ticking of the analog clock made tiny little slices of time.
She fumbled for her phone and checked the time.
“Shit!”
Harper rolled off the couch and scrambled to her feet. She was going to be late. She hated being late. Why hadn’t her alarm gone off?
She looked around the clothing-strewn living room and tried to concoct a work-appropriate outfit from the pieces in front of her. She grabbed some pants and a sweater that she hoped wouldn’t look out of place with the heels she’d worn the previous night, then ran into the bathroom.
Her makeup was a disaster, but at least Ash kept a stash of travel toothbrushes in his bathroom.
Harper swabbed at her face to get the smudges off and ordered a rideshare while brushing her teeth.
She scrambled into her coat and shoes and headed for the door.
Ash had shown her how to set the security system, so she hoped it would be all right that she couldn’t lock the door.
Downstairs, she flung herself into the Uber and felt relief that, despite the rain, traffic looked light. She might actually make it to work on time.
Her phone rang, and she blinked at the face it showed.
“Harmony?” she asked, picking up.
“Hey, Harper! You picked up!”
“Um… yeah? Is everything OK?” She hadn’t talked to Harmony since before leaving Denver. She’d been hurt by Harmony’s no-show on moving day and hadn’t bothered to text to say she’d left the state.
“Yeah. Oh, yeah. I’m fine. I just…” There was silence on the phone, and Harper didn’t know what to say. “God, this is awkward,” Harmony muttered quietly, and Harper wasn’t sure she was supposed to respond. “I ran into your mom.”
“OK,” said Harper.
“She said you’d moved to Seattle and were dating someone.”
Harper wasn’t sure about her relationship status, but she thought she and Ash could at least be considered in a situationship.
“Well, yes?”
“Um… I wanted to apologize,” said Harmony, all in a rush. “I didn’t realize… I should have helped you move.”
“Oh!” Harper felt immediately better about the conversation and Harmony. “Thank you for saying that. It hurt my feelings that you didn’t help.”
“I’m sorry! But Cooper called and said that you were being stubborn and not to help because you weren’t really moving.”
“But…” Harper scratched her head. Cooper had been the one who said that if she couldn’t pull it together, they should break up. “I said I was moving out. What did everyone think would happen?”
“He seemed convinced that you weren’t really moving and that if we helped you move, we’d just be helping you move back.”
“I don’t actually have a response for that,” said Harper. “I said I was moving.”
“I know! But I didn’t think you were serious.
You and Cooper seemed like such a solid couple.
I thought you two would work it out. And then I thought you were mad at me.
Cooper always made it sound like we shouldn’t rock the boat if Gary wanted to stay in with his group.
” Gary was Harmony’s fiancé and worked in Cooper’s division at the bank.
“And you deleted all your socials, so I didn’t know that you moved, you know, out of state. ”
“I don’t know why Cooper would say any of that.”
“I don’t know,” said Harmony. “He was really embarrassed about the whole baseball game thing.”
Harper sank down lower in her seat.
“Personally, I thought it was kind of funny, but bros be tripping, so who knows.”
“I just thought it was best if I got out of Denver for a while,” said Harper.
“Well, it does make a break-up stick,” said Harmony in a prosaic tone. “But Seattle! That’s cool! Is it as rainy as they say?”
“Currently,” said Harper, looking out the window. “Yes.”
“And you’re dating?”
“Well, yes, although…” Harper hesitated. She wanted to talk about Ash, but she wasn’t sure Harmony was the right person. “I kind of think maybe he’s… I’m just getting some crossed signals. I’m not sure where he’s at.”
“Oh, Harper,” said Harmony, with a laugh. “You know you’re dating incompetent. You couldn’t even figure out Cooper was proposing, and he was down on one knee.”
“I was at a baseball game! I didn’t think he would do that there! And he didn’t ever say he was thinking about proposing!”
Harmony laughed. “He let you move that weird coffee table into his house. If that didn’t say he was serious. I don’t know what would.”
Harper gritted her teeth. “Hey, I’m just pulling up at work. I’m going to have to hang up.”
“At work?” Harmony sounded confused. “Well, OK, I guess they’re keeping you busy.”
“Yeah. Busy. I’ll text you later,” said Harper.
Harmony hung up, and Harper sat in the backseat, fuming. The driver had the radio turned on at a low volume. The song switched to the DJ, and he handed it over to someone to read the news highlights.
“The top story of the morning is the shooting at last night’s Victory Mission Gala.
The Victory Mission credits Rowan Valkyrie and Valkyrie Security for preventing a tragedy and saving the life of local lawyer Howard Hoskins, who is still in the ICU at Harborview Hospital.
Police are investigating and have not yet released a statement. ”
Harper gasped and reached for her phone. A few moments of skimming her news feed confirmed that Ash’s brother had indeed been involved in a drive-by shooting at a charity event the previous night.
“This is the address,” the driver said firmly as he stopped the car.
“Yeah, OK,” said Harper, still trying to read the news story. She hit pay on the app and climbed slowly out of the car as she texted Ash.
Is your brother OK?
She hit send and looked up.
“Hey! This is the wrong side of the street!”
But the driver was already halfway down the block.
“Harper!”
Harper’s head whipped around as she heard her name being screamed with frantic urgency. A car barreled down on her, hopping the curb and sending a garbage can flying.
Harper dove for the inset doorway of the nearest building as the black car skidded over the sidewalk and back onto the street. The car didn’t stop and headed up the hill, taillights glinting a menacing red through the raindrops.
Piper pelted through the rain, a crushed Starbucks cup in one hand.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” She skidded to a halt and stood over Harper, wide-eyed and panting. “Are you OK?”
Harper climbed slowly to her feet. “No! I have gotten my new pants wet, and that upsets me.”
“That’s what upsets you?” yelled Piper. “I thought that car was going to kill you!”
“You also spilled your coffee,” said Harper. Piper looked down at her hand as if seeing it for the first time.
“God, I need a drink.”
“I would also like a drink,” said Harper.
“It’s 8:30 on a Saturday morning,” said Piper. “We can’t start drinking now.”
“It’s Saturday?” demanded Harper.
“I take it back. We can drink now. Come on, back to my truck. We’re going to breakfast. Screw the FEMA paperwork.”
A half-hour later, Harper was sitting in a place with diner in the name, drinking mimosas, wearing the spare pair of leggings Piper had in her truck, and wishing she didn’t feel quite so shaky.
“I’m still not sure we shouldn’t call the cops,” said Piper.
“And tell them what?”
“Uh, that some blonde bitch in a Mercedes nearly killed you?”
“You didn’t get a license plate, and all I got was a wet butt. I don’t think it will be a top priority for them.”
“I still think it looked like she swerved at you on purpose,” said Piper. “If this were a mystery show, we would be investigating.”
“That’s ridiculous,” said Harper. “Who would want to run me over? I haven’t lived here long enough for anyone to hate me. She was probably texting.”
Piper drank more mimosa but didn’t look convinced.
“What were you doing at work on a Saturday anyway?”
Harper groaned and sank lower in her seat.
“I had a full Harper Moment.”
“What does that mean?”
“I woke up at Ash’s,” Piper made a squeak of excitement, but Harper made an angry gesture, “and I failed to remember that it is Saturday. Then I panicked and ran out.”
“Didn’t he say anything?”
“He wasn’t there. There was a thing.”
“I can’t do stories like this. Well, I can, but I don’t want to. Be more linear.”
Relieved to have Piper’s support, Harper poured out the story, ending with Harmony and the news story.
“Woah. Scary night for Ash’s brother. And good for Harmony for apologizing, I guess, but she is definitely not your pookie bear.”
“She’s probably right,” said Harper, waving at the waitress for another mimosa. “I probably am incompetent.”
“You’re not dating incompetent, but I think that maybe…”
“Maybe what?” asked Harper. “I’m an idiot?”
“No, you’re very honest, and you take what people say at face value. If they say they are mad or your friend or whatever, you believe that.”
“Well, what else am I supposed to do?”
“The problem is that people aren’t always aware of what they’re feeling, and sometimes they unintentionally lie.”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“And sometimes people lie on purpose because it benefits them.”
“Well, yeah.” That seemed like the only reasonable reason to lie.
“And sometimes people say things that they expect you to interpret in a particular way.”
“How would I know to do that?”
“It’s cultural. Like my mom’s family… My grandma will say, Goodness, someone needs to do the dishes.
And her kids will all hop up and start doing them.
In my Dad’s family, if she said that, nothing would happen because none of them are named Someone, and it is not their family culture.
Which is why my Mom gets mad when she says someone ought to do something, and no one does.
She gets upset because she thought she was clear, but it wasn’t clear to the people she was talking to. ”
Harper frowned. She liked Piper’s story. It seemed to explain many of her past conversational miscommunications, but it also felt like Piper was trying to tell her something.
“Of course, communication got better when my brother was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. Blunt works better for him. But my point is… You’re not dating incompetent, but you can’t always decipher what secret message someone is sending.”
“Yes! That’s why I like being with Ash. He’s very clear!”
“Well, then probably the best thing to do is just ask Ash if he kissed you because he would like to change the deal or if things just got romantic because you were trying on clothes and drinking wine. Which, frankly, sounds like an amazing date.”
“We also pushed someone into a pool.”
“Damn it! Why are your fake dates better than my real life?”
“It can’t be that great,” said Harper, looking at her phone. “I’m still on read for my last text.”
Piper sighed. “That’s giving very I regret this vibes.”
“Yeah,” agreed Harper sadly.
“But at least we’re about to get waffles and more booze.” Piper nodded toward the waitress exiting the kitchen with a full tray.
“Waffles,” said Harper longingly, and Piper laughed.
“We are about to be hands-free, face-down in whipped cream. That would totally be a double entendre if you were gay.”
“It’s not a double entendre if I’m straight? Because it sounded like it, even to me.”
“Oh, no, it was. I just meant it literally in this case. I’m not confident enough to say that to an IRL girl. I’m queer and probably slutty, but I wouldn’t know because I’m also people-avoidant.”
Harper laughed and wished she knew more people in Seattle so she could hook Piper up. Piper was too awesome not to have someone telling her that regularly.