13AshDinged Up
Ash
Dinged Up
His phone chirped, and the haptic buzz vibrated his face. Ash sat up and glared at his office. A pale Northwest daylight was coming through the blinds. He’d fallen asleep on the couch. He fumbled for his phone, expecting to see a message from Harper.
Call me when you get a sec... I have a question.
He blinked at his mother’s message and her blatant use of the Boomer ellipses, then checked the time.
It was after eight, but that still seemed too damn early to be texting anyone on a Saturday.
Ash loved his mom. She had many wonderful qualities, but basic life skills were somewhat elusive for her.
There had been a period of three months where she’d stopped watching TV because she’d lost the remote and hadn’t wanted to tell him about it.
Ash stumbled to his desk and wrote himself a Post-it note.
He slapped the pink square in the middle of his computer monitor so he would remember to call her after he called Rowan.
Then he staggered out to the hall toward the bathroom.
He’d slept in his office plenty of times after college—tearing through research and pizza, waking up, and then dashing off to hang with friends.
At the moment, he couldn’t imagine dashing anywhere. Welcome to being over thirty.
By the time he got out of the bathroom and chugged half a Mountain Dew, he felt like less of a zombie.
He checked in at Mel’s office—they were asleep in their napping hammock under a snuggie and a panda bear eye mask.
He decided not to wake them up and returned to his office just in time to hear his phone’s message alert again.
He checked the face and saw with relief he saw it was from Harper.
Is your brother OK?
That was a weird message. Shouldn’t she be asking about him? Ash was about to dial her when Forest’s face popped up, and the phone began to ring.
“Hey, Forest,” said Ash, picking up. “Can I call you back? I need to call Rowan real quick. I’ve got a security question for him.”
“Uh… yeah.” Forest sounded odd, although Ash couldn’t pin down quite how. “You’re going to have to put that on hold for a day or two.”
“What does that mean?”
“Haven’t turned on the news, have you?”
“Who watches the news?” Ash flipped on his computer, moved the Post-it note off the screen, and pulled up a search on local news.
“OK, well, the good news is that Rowan will be fine.”
“The good news?” repeated Ash numbly, feeling a cold lump form in the pit of his stomach. Rowan was one of the cornerstones of his universe. Nothing could happen to Rowan. That was not allowed. He’d been so relieved when Rowan got out of the military. Rowan was supposed to be safe now.
“What’s the bad news?”
“Your brother did one of his heroic things again.”
Forest only disavowed his relationship to one of them when they had done something epically dumb. The last time Rowan had done something heroic, he’d come home from the Middle East with extra holes in him.
“Is he OK?”
“So last night he went to some veteran’s fundraiser gala, and there was a drive-by shooting.” Forest was doing the thing where he didn’t actually answer the question. Instead, he gave information until the question answered itself.
Ash typed Seattle drive-by shooting and Valkyrie into the search field. For once, it didn’t annoy him that his brothers always popped higher in a search than he did.
“Some lawyer guy is in the hospital. According to the news, Rowan saved his life. Of course, Rowan didn’t say that. I tried to get clarity on how badly Rowan is hurt, but he just says he got a little dinged up.”
A little dinged up. That was exactly the kind of thing Rowan would say. The search came back almost instantly with multiple news channels.
Local lawyer fighting for life.
Veteran’s charity attacked.
Tragedy averted by Valkyrie Security.
“But Rowan’s OK?” said Ash, skimming through the top result.
“He says he is,” said Forest. “But he wanted me to call you before you saw the news and freaked out. Sounds like he’s in bed and sleeping in, so maybe text later if you want.”
“Thanks,” said Ash. “Are you calling Mom, too?”
“Oh. Uh… I wasn’t planning on it. I mean, can she even turn on the TV? She probably won’t see what happened.”
“I replaced the remote, and she does have a phone and a tablet.”
“Oh,” said Forest.
Ash gritted his teeth. “It’s fine. I was going to call her anyway.”
“Great,” said Forest, his tone brightening at the idea of not having to talk to their mother. Ash looked through the following news story.
“I don’t understand. How did they get hit by a drive-by if they were inside the gala?”
“The news story I saw said the lawyer went outside for a phone call.”
“But what was Rowan doing out there?”
“Ash, you literally know everything that I know. He sounded fine when I talked to him. Don’t freak out.”
“I’m not freaking out. I’m wondering if this is going to be like last time. Dealing with the VA was pretty shitty. Do we need to call people? Is he going to have to do PT?”
“No, I don’t think this is like last time.” Now, Forest sounded impatient.
“Forest, come on! A little dinged up? Do we really think he didn’t get shot?”
“Yes, I know he probably got shot this time, too, but I saw him on the news. He was walking around and doing the thing. You know, the thing where he looks like Mr. Scary Security Guy. So it obviously wasn’t that bad, or he wouldn’t have been walking around last night and wouldn’t be at home now.”
Ash had to admit that Forest was probably right. He clicked on a video clip and was reassured to see Rowan standing behind some hot chick in a red dress doing the tough guy thing as Forest described.
“OK, fine, but you’ll text me an update when you call him later?”
“Yeah, I mean… I will call him later, but you can also call him. Why am I in the middle?”
Because Forest would remember, and Ash wouldn’t.
“Uh, cuz, chronologically, it’s Rowan, then you, then me. Duh.”
“Ha. Ha. Yes, I’m aware that I’m the middle child. You are hilarious.”
“I’m a laugh riot. Look, I’ve gotta go. Seriously, though, you’re texting me?”
“Yeah, OK, talk to you later.”
Ash hung up and tried to compose a response to Harper.
I think so? I just found out. Forest says Rowan is at home. I need to call my mom. I’ll call you later.
He was about to hit send when the phone rang with his mom’s number.
“Hey, Mom!”
“Ash, was your brother involved in a drive-by shooting?”
Rose sounded on the verge of Forest’s previously mentioned freakout.
“Rowan is fine,” said Ash. He hoped.
“Are you sure? Because the news said he was hurt.”
“OK, I think he did get a little hurt, but if you look at the clips from the press conference afterward, you can see he’s walking around.”
“How do I get clips? I just saw the news, and now they’re talking about the weather.”
Ash rested his head in his hand. How was he related to people who watched the news on Saturday morning?
“You can Google the news channel,” said Ash patiently.
There was silence, and Ash could hear her tapping on her tablet.
“Oh, there he is. Yes, he does look OK. That girl is pretty, and that dress is very sophisticated. I think Rowan likes her.”
“I think he’s dating a girl from work,” said Ash.
“Well, if you say so, but I think he likes this girl.”
“I don’t know, Mom,” said Ash tiredly.
“Should I call him?” Rose sounded nervous. She always sounded nervous about calling Forest and Rowan. He usually didn’t know what to say, but today, at least, there was clarity.
“Forest said he was sleeping in and I shouldn’t call him,” said Ash. “So maybe tomorrow. Or text him later today.”
“Oh, OK.” Rose knew very well that her relationship with her oldest two children was strained, but none of them, including her, would say it.
It drove Ash crazy that none of them would just admit it.
He always felt stuck in the middle. “I did have a question,” she said, sounding puzzled.
“But then I saw Rowan on the news, and now I’ve forgotten what it was. ”
“Well, if you remember, just call back later.”
“Hold on, and let me walk into the living room.” It was one of his mother’s firm beliefs that walking into a new room either made her forget or remember things.
Ash waited patiently, listening to her footsteps.
“Well,” she said after a moment, “I have remembered where I put the tea I just made, but I don’t think that was why I wanted to talk to you.”
He also thought that sometimes she just wanted to talk to him.
“It’s OK, Mom. But I’m going to have to go. I need to find someone to help me with Bob.”
“What about Bob?”
“Someone broke her pot.”
“Oh no! Well, put her in a new pot as soon as possible and give her plenty of water—but not too much. Make sure she has plenty of drainage. So, if you’ve got a few packing peanuts, you can put them in the bottom of the new pot and then cover everything with fresh soil.
That will do until you get a proper replacement pot. ”
“Thanks!”
“No problem! Ha! I went back into the kitchen, and now I’ve remembered. I’m going to Palm Springs with Carol for Thanksgiving. Do you think I need my passport?”
Ash felt simultaneously relieved that his mother had made Thanksgiving plans because he’d been dreading badgering Rowan and Forest into letting her come and mad that she’d known she wouldn’t be invited.
“No, Mom, just your driver’s license. Why would you need your passport?”
“In case we go to Mexico.”
“Um… well, if you’re going to go to Mexico, then yes. But if you’re not planning on going to Mexico, then no.”
“My passport is expired. And if I order a new one now, it might come in time. But it might not.”
“Well, then, you should probably not go to Mexico.” He knew that these were the kind of conversations that drove Rowan nuts.
“Well, you’re probably right, but I worry that Carol will want to go, and then we can’t.”
“You could get it expedited,” said Ash.
“That’s a good point.”
“You let me know if you need help filling out the forms,” said Ash, knowing she probably wouldn’t.
“That’s what I wanted to know. I’ll talk to Carol.”
Carol was seventy-two and was bat-shit crazy as far as Ash could tell, but he considered her his mom’s extrovert service human. Rose had a lot of anxiety about basic life activities, and Carol made sure she made it out into the world and talked to people.
“OK,” said Ash. “Well, you let me know.” From his own experience with ADHD, he knew that sometimes he just needed to hear the decision out loud so he could know what he’d decided, and he suspected his mother was the same. He also thought sometimes she just wanted reassurance.
“Thanks!” she said cheerfully. “I’ll text you later.”
Ash hung up with a sigh and went out to the lobby. It looked better, but still not great. It felt like his life. But at least there was a chance to save Bob.