21AshReset
Ash
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Ash walked toward Harper’s office. He was excited to see her. Their text exchange over Thanksgiving had reassured him. He just needed to get the money situation sorted, and then he and Harper could be proper friends again.
Friends.
The thought was depressing.
He knew he didn’t want to just be friends. He felt like he’d friend-zoned himself by being an idiot, and now friends was the best he could hope for.
Ash parked and then got out, trying to give himself a pep talk. He just needed to fix the situation, get back in Harper’s good graces, and then be honest with… everyone about everything.
Like that wasn’t utterly daunting. How had he managed to get himself into this hole?
Harper’s building was in a cute Ballard neighborhood, and the lobby was a communal space for multiple businesses. As Ash approached the front doors of Harper’s building, he saw her through the large pane-glass windows. Harper was standing near the front, talking to a man.
The first thing Ash noticed about the man was that he wasn’t wearing socks with his boat shoes.
Ash knew it was a legit fashion choice, but it still gave him the ick.
Also, it was December, and likely to rain at any minute.
Weren’t his ankles cold? The second thing Ash noticed was that the man was leaning over Harper—way too far into her space—and Harper was hunched away from him.
Ash pulled open the door and prepared to approach cautiously in case Harper didn’t want his help.
“Jesus, Harper, you’re so helpless,” said the man, and Ash’s fist clenched involuntarily. “You can’t remember anything.”
“You didn’t say you were coming,” Harper said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“You weren’t paying attention,” he snapped. “I said I was coming to Seattle.”
“You didn’t say the day. You didn’t say you were coming here.”
The man pushed his blonde-tipped hair back from his forehead. “It was implied. Normal people would have gotten it.”
“Harper?” said Ash, and Harper jerked as if she’d been electrocuted. The man turned around and gave Ash a once over and a sour expression.
“She’s busy,” said the guy, and turned his back to Ash, trying to block access to Harper.
“Yes, with me,” said Ash. “And I know this because, unlike some people, I sent a calendar invite.”
The guy turned around and glared at Ash angrily. As far as snappy comebacks went, it lacked heft. Ash waited, certain that there would be more but expecting that the basic frat bro would take a minute for his quip center to boot up.
“I don’t care what’s on her calendar,” he said, giving a smug smile. “I’m her boyfriend.”
Ash looked past the insane man to Harper. She looked on the point of tears, but at this announcement, she straightened up.
“Not anymore,” she said firmly. “And I have a lunch date with Ash. Excuse me, Cooper.” She went around the guy and grabbed Ash’s hand, towing him toward the door.
“See you around, Cooper,” said Ash, giving a jaunty wave that somehow turned into a one-fingered salute.
Ash followed Harper as she angry-walked down the block. Her hand was clamped around his in a death grip, but he didn’t make a move to adjust it.
They arrived at a crosswalk, and Harper stopped, glaring at the red hand on the signal and breathing heavily.
Ash took the opportunity to unclench her hand and put it into a more relaxed position.
The neighborhood was nice, and there were cute shops along the street.
The Christmas decorations were out, and tinsel candy canes decorated the light poles.
The signal turned to the walking man, but Harper didn’t move.
“OK,” said Ash, starting them walking, “we’re going to do some deep breathing, and then maybe we’ll look in the windows of those shops.”
Harper nodded, and Ash began to loudly do some breathing exercises that Harper copied. By the end of the block, she looked more like herself. Ash let them drift to stop and moved them toward the curb and out of the path of midday shoppers.
“OK, can we talk about what the hell just happened?” he asked cautiously.
“Nope,” said Harper, staring at the top button on his coat. “We’re good.”
“Harper,” said Ash softly, but she refused to look up at him, “What’s going on?” Harper’s eyes flicked up to his, and he saw they were filled with tears. “Smoak, talk to me. Who was that guy?”
“Cooper Martin.”
“OK. And why does Cooper think he’s your boyfriend?”
“I dated Cooper for two years,” she whispered. He liked that she put it in the past tense, but he wasn’t sure why she was still so upset about him.
“OK, but you broke up?” Ash asked hopefully, and she nodded miserably. He wasn’t sure where to go next.
“After he proposed,” said Harper, still fixating on his button.
“You said no?”
“Not exactly,” she said with a watery sniff.
“I don’t know what that means.”
She looked up at him and straightened her shoulders as if facing a firing squad.
“We were at a baseball game. It was a work event for him. It never even occurred to me that Cooper would do something like that at a work event. And someone hit a home run, and I stood up to cheer, and when I turned around, he was on the ground and holding a ring, and I said…” Harper gulped.
“Oh, no, did someone lose a ring? And I started asking everyone if they’d lost a ring, and then I told him to get up because he would get his pants dirty.
There was a lot of beer and popcorn down there. Stadiums are filthy.”
Ash bit down hard on his tongue, trying not to laugh.
“What did he say?” asked Ash, fighting to keep his voice under control.
“He didn’t say anything! He was just down there, staring at me!
And then I looked up, and we were on the jumbotron, and then these words came up on the screen, and they said, Marry me, Harper!
Then I freaked out and stepped backward, but I hit the seat, tripped, and tried to catch myself.
But instead, I hit his hand, and the ring just… ”
“Went sailing right out there?” Ash had one fist clenched, digging his nails into his palm, trying to keep it together. He could not laugh at her. She was practically crying.
“Yes. And then it went down the storm drain, and we never got it back, and when we broke up, Cooper said I owed him twelve thousand dollars for the ring.”
Ash felt like someone had dumped an ice bucket over him, and the laughter left his body. All he could think was that someone needed to punch Cooper Martin in the face. How dare he traumatize Harper like this? Harper swiped at her eyes, and Ash couldn’t take it anymore—he pulled her into a hug.
“Don’t cry, Smoak,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
“There’s a video on YouTube,” she said into his chest. “And Instagram and Facebook Reels. Probably TikTok. I don’t know. I deleted all my social media after it reached a million views.”
Ash couldn’t stop the laugh that snorted out of him and tried unsuccessfully to turn it into a cough. She looked reproachfully up at him.
“Sorry. I get it. It’s your worst nightmare. I’m not laughing.”
“You’re laughing,” she said.
“OK, yes, but in my defense… It’s funny. Also, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“Not that big of a deal?!” She whacked angrily at his chest, but he refused to let go.
“Look, this Cooper guy is obviously an idiot. Why on earth would anyone propose to you at a baseball game? That is too much sensory input. You’d be all kinds of distracted and overwhelmed.
And if he was hell-bent on making the most ill-timed proposal ever, why didn’t he speak up and tell you what he was doing? ”
“He said all normal people would have gotten it,” said Harper quietly.
“Yeah, well, fuck that guy. Also, did he not get insurance on the ring? It’s obviously lost. You even have the proof of that on video. Just get it replaced.”
“You can do that?”
“Yes, of course. They offer it to you when you buy jewelry.”
“Oh. I guess I haven’t ever bought jewelry.”
“I’ll buy you some. And I’ll get insurance for when you lose it.”
“I don’t want to lose it! I want to keep it!”
“Sure,” said Ash, hugging her tighter. “Keep it. Lose it. Whatever. But any which way you slice it—you don’t owe this douchebag anything.”
“I feel bad that he spent twelve thousand dollars,” said Harper sadly.
Ash knew everyone’s budget was different, and it was the thought that counted, but he swore Harper was worth ten times that. He also couldn’t help wondering if Cooper was lying. Who spent money on a ring but didn’t get the insurance?
“If you feel bad about it, then we’ll just cut him a check, and we’ll never have to think about him again.”
“Ash,” she protested, “I know it’s what I asked for, but I feel bad. I can’t just have you give money to Cooper!”
“We have a deal, Smoak. You can’t weasel out of it now! You’ve been dating me for months and I will be paying off your ex. You’re just going to have to deal with it.”
Harper laughed. “Ash, you’re so…” Her head tilted, and Ash knew he was going to kiss her.
Something small and hard slammed into his legs, throwing him into Harper, and they both sprawled against the hood of the car parked at the curb. Ash flailed, trying to keep from crushing Harper.
“Olly!” a woman gasped. “Oh, I am so sorry!”
Ash looked up and saw someone with blue hair and realized that the woman must be Chloe, which meant the small thing wrapped around his legs must be his nephew.
Ash braced himself against the car and managed to get one leg planted.
Reaching down, he got an arm around Olly and freed himself from the toddler’s tentacle-like grasp.
“Unca Ash!” yelled Olly.
“Oh,” said Chloe, looking relieved as Ash turned around. “Ash. Thank goodness he didn’t just tackle a stranger.”
“I think I wish he had,” said Ash. “Olly-man! We have got to talk about your timing.”
“Up, up, up!” Olly held up his arms, and Ash picked him up. “Surprise!”
“Yes, that was indeed a big surprise,” agreed Ash as Chloe went to help Harper.
“Are you OK? I’m so sorry. Hi. I’m... I’m Chloe.”
“Harper, meet my brother’s girlfriend, Chloe, and his sneak attack, terrorist spawn, also known as my nephew Olly.” He realized as Chloe’s face froze that possibly Chloe and Forest weren’t announcing their relationship status.
“Hi,” said Harper, smiling. She looked flustered, but like she at least found the situation funny. He didn’t think she’d noticed Chloe’s expression. “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever been tackled by anyone cuter. Although, I also would have preferred less of a surprise.”
“Christmas surprise!” announced Olly, looking unphased by the criticism.
“OK, no, that’s not what Christmas surprise means,” said Chloe, facepalming herself.
“Oh, I think it is now,” said Ash, laughing.
“Best day ever,” said Olly, repeating one of his favorite phrases.
“Well, we know that Olly’s having a good time. How about you, Chloe? How’s your day going?” Ash asked, grinning maliciously. Chloe seemed so serene most of the time that he enjoyed seeing her ruffled.
“Well, it was fine until now,” said Chloe with a sigh. “Are you sure you’re OK, Harper? I really am sorry. He can be quite fast when he wants to be.”
“It’s the shock and awe strategy,” said Ash. “He’s a master at it. Gives him time to get a head start.” He couldn’t count the number of times Olly had out-maneuvered him. Not that he would be telling Forest or Chloe about any of those instances.
“Yes, I’m fine,” said Harper, smiling. “But, um, I should probably get back to work.”
“No, don’t leave on our account. Olly and I were just picking up some Christmas presents.”
“Christmas surprise!” repeated Olly, hugging Ash, who squeezed him back happily.
“And now we’re headed back to the house for lunch. Although,” she glanced up at Ash, “I have been meaning to call you about lunch with your mom.”
“Uh... yeah. I’ll text you. Mom can be hard to pin down to an actual date sometimes.”
He hadn’t expected Chloe to follow through on that proposal and hadn’t mentioned it to Rose because he didn’t want her to be disappointed.
“Well, whenever,” said Chloe. “Olly and I clearly don’t mind being spontaneous.”
Ash snorted. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. Here’s your ninja assassin back.” He handed Olly over, and Chloe swung him around to her back so he could ride piggyback. Ash was amused by this maneuver, but they both looked happy.
“OK, Olly, say goodbye to Unca Ash.”
“Bye!” he chirped.
“She’s his girlfriend?” asked Harper when Chloe and Olly were out of earshot. “I thought she was the nanny.”
“She was,” said Ash with a shrug. “Not the best plan, in my opinion, but on the other hand, Forest seems way, way more relaxed.” Which was probably just due to getting laid, but Ash couldn’t exactly be mad about that. In fact, jealousy was more the emotion that came to mind.
“You don’t like her.”
“I like her,” protested Ash. “She’s just…”
“A homeless hippy freak,” said Harper, quoting himself back at him.
“That may have been a bit harsh,” said Ash. “But let’s face it, as far as partners go, she’s not exactly what you expect for a Fortune 500 CEO.”
“Maybe that’s why he likes her,” said Harper, heading back toward her building.
“Yeah, maybe,” he agreed. Ash realized he had somehow lost the moment and trailed after her.
“I really need to get back to work,” said Harper.
“We were going to lunch.”
“Yeah, well, I had to talk to Cooper, and then this, and I’ve got a lot of work to do. I don’t really have time.”
“OK,” said Ash hesitantly. “But I really wanted to talk to you.”
Harper stopped in front of her building and turned to face him.
“Why?” she demanded bluntly.
“To hear how your Thanksgiving went?”
“My sister is pregnant. I’m pretty sure my brother-in-law is cheating on her. My Mom kind of has a drinking problem, and they all made it abundantly clear that they think I should get back together with Cooper. Also, my stepdad called me the R-word when he didn’t think I could hear him.”
“Uh…” Ash had no idea what to do with any of that.
“Right,” said Harper. “Exactly. That’s me. I’m weird. Goodbye.”
She spun around and marched into her building.