22HarperDecember
Harper
December
Harper left work early, went back to her apartment, and ordered a large amount of comfort food to come to her.
She felt like she’d been run over. Thanksgiving had been exhausting, and she’d been so looking forward to her lunch with Ash.
Harper had hoped to return to Seattle and have Ash realize they should be dating for real, but who was she kidding?
Ash would never fall for someone like her.
He couldn’t even like the perfectly sweet nanny, who was obviously gorgeous and wonderful with Olly.
Maybe her stepdad was right—Harper was so stupid that she ought to be locked in a home.
Harper put on her favorite at-home outfit, which was a pair of super soft cotton pants and a seamless long-sleeve shirt that squished her enough that it felt like a hug.
She lay on the couch and tried to find something soothing to watch.
She wanted binge-able with no surprises.
She settled on Gilmore Girls but almost immediately turned it off.
The fast chatter reminded her of Ash. So she switched to the Hallmark channel, which was now on the annual Christmas movie marathon.
There were definitely no unpleasant surprises to be had there.
The stakes were so low that she was pretty sure that if the worst of the worst happened, the heroine would still end up running a muffin shop.
Harper spent a solid twenty minutes fantasizing about owning a muffin shop. She stopped when she realized that her fantasy included market research and spreadsheets.
She was so deficient she couldn’t even fantasize properly.
Harper took the remains of dinner into the kitchen and was on the way back to the couch when there was a knock on the door.
She froze in terror. This was a surprise-free night—how dare someone do something unexpected.
And how was she supposed to answer? What did people do when there were unexpected guests?
Go on an adventure with dwarves was the only obvious answer, but she was not prepared for hobbits, dragons, or singing.
Panicked, she tiptoed to the door and peered out through the peephole. Ash was standing in front of her door, the hall light glinting off his hair with a golden glow.
“I’m not going to sing,” said Harper, opening the door. “Although the larder is practically empty.”
“I’m a bit tall to be a dwarf,” said Ash. “And I don’t generally sing.”
“You could be a wizard,” she said suspiciously.
“A possibility, although my current status is Rogue.”
“The girl with the hairstreak?” asked Harper.
“That’s X-Men. Which, legit reference, but I meant D n’ D.”
“Ah.”
They stared at each other.
“Can I come in?”
“Oh. Yes. Right.” Harper moved aside. It was the first time Ash had been inside her apartment. She realized that it must look like a shoebox compared to his.
“Oh, wow!” exclaimed Ash. “Your coffee table is awesome.”
“Thanks,” said Harper. “The epoxy pour took me two weeks to finish.” She’d filled the crack in the gorgeous fir with blue and gold epoxy. The effect was like having a geode in the middle of the table.
“Wait, you did this yourself?”
“Yes. Like I said, I got into woodworking for a while.”
“This isn’t woodworking. This is art! Holy crap. That’s amazing. It should have a little velvet rope around it, so people can walk by like in a museum.”
Harper wanted to laugh off the comment, but instead, she found herself getting choked up. Ash looked up and immediately reached out his arms as if to hug her but stopped, arms flailing like a misfiring robot.
“Uh, shit, what did I say? Do you want to be touched? I’m sorry.”
“I love my coffee table.”
“Yes, it’s fantastic.”
“I want a hug,” she wailed, and Ash let out a big breath of air.
“OK, great.” He took a step, and then his arms were around her.
“Tighter,” she muttered.
“On it.”
Harper sighed in relief as his hug reached anaconda levels. He was like a human-weighted blanket.
“I came over to apologize,” he said. “I’m not sure how things went weird, but they did.
And we never talked before Thanksgiving, and now I know why you wanted the ten thousand before going home, and I feel like a jerk.
I thought we could send Cooper a money order tonight and get him out of your hair.
I would have done it already, but I need his address.
I didn’t feel like I could call, and then I was in the car. So… now I’m here.”
“I didn’t want to make a thing about it,” Harper muttered, embarrassed.
“Smoak,” he said, sounding stern, “you never want to make a thing out of things that you need, but you’re allowed to get your needs met.”
She looked up at him.
“Did the guy finish the unicorn yet?”
“What?”
“Your guy—who I assume works out of a lab on a mysterious island in the San Juans and is looking into how to create unicorns—did he figure out how to do it yet? Because I’m pretty sure that if I’m allowed to get my needs met, then other mythical things are about to happen.”
Ash snorted. “Smoak, you are so…” He laughed and shook his head, and Harper waited for something that would probably sound like a compliment, but she would later question. “awesomeful,” he said at last and then hung his head.
“Awesomely beautiful?” guessed Harper quietly. He nodded, his cheeks pink.
“You make my brain misfire,” whispered Ash.
That gave Harper a warm feeling in her chest. Ash always seemed to be running at a hundred miles an hour, but she could bring him to a standstill. Harper liked being awesomeful.
Gently, Ash curved his hand around her cheek and pressed his lips to hers. Harper felt the kiss like an exhalation of relief. Finally, things were the way they were supposed to be.
But through the golden glow of connection, Harper felt a sense of panic welling up. It was a visceral sense of anxiety that made her flail and push herself away from Ash. Steadying herself by grabbing the lapels of his jacket, she stared into his face. He looked confused.
“You can’t take this one back,” she blurted out. “This is kissing. You’re kissing me, and you’re not allowed to take this back. I didn’t like that last time.”
His wide grin stretched across his face. “No backsies. I promise. I mean this one,” Ash said, crooking one finger under Harper’s chin and kissing her gently on the cheek. “And this one.” He kissed the other cheek. “And definitely this one.”
As his lips pressed into hers, Harper felt a shiver of delight run down her spine.
Harper was familiar with the flow state – the perfect moment in a creative project when the outside world couldn’t intrude and every move was completely right, even when it was wrong.
But she had never experienced it with another person before.
Ash’s arms around her felt gloriously strong, and the heat of his body made her skin rise in goosebumps.
Ash pulled back and smiled down at her. “I knew I was going to love doing that.”
“We could love doing that in my bedroom,” suggested Harper. “If you wanted to stay over.”
She couldn’t quite believe he wasn’t going to run out unexpectedly or declare he’d made some sort of mistake. She wanted things spelled out so there was no misunderstanding.
“Invitation accepted,” he said, a wicked grin lighting up his face.
He reached for her again, but Harper let out a squeak as they backed into her clothing rack.
Ash stepped forward to catch her and tripped over the water and flat of canned beans she had stored under her dresses.
Then he put out his hand to catch himself, but his arm went straight through the clothes, and he pitched forward through the rack.
“Ack!” Harper grabbed Ash’s arm and pulled him hard. He came back out with a Rich Radi Q silk blouse on his head.
They stood still for a moment, panting.
“This is not my color,” Ash finally said with dignified disapproval. He gently rehung the shirt and turned back to Harper, who couldn’t stop giggling. “Oh, really? You find blouse removal funny? Well, let’s see what you can do about yours.”
“Oh no! No, please, anything but that!” Harper, still giggling, backed toward her bedroom, already working her shirt up.
He kicked off his shoes toward the shoe rack and followed her, laughing. Since the bedroom was only a few steps away, it took him two strides to catch up to her. Then he picked her up and took one more step before they toppled onto the bed.
Harper wanted to get Ash naked, but he seemed equally interested in doing the same to her, and she began to giggle as they got in each other’s way.
Finally, they’d gotten down to their underwear, and Harper relaxed into Ash’s arms. She loved the way he touched her. He made her feel like she was precious.
Ash’s tongue made a little trail down her neck into her cleavage, and she giggled.
“Does that tickle?” he asked, almost laughing himself but repeating the move, this time over her nipple.
“Yes!”
“Really? So you need me to do it more, then?” Once again, his tongue made a feathery little exploration of her nipple.
Harper sometimes felt like she needed longer to figure out what she wanted, but unfortunately, in sex, everyone always wanted an answer immediately. But Ash seemed content to stay right where he was at.
“I... Oh! Yes, please.”
He chuckled and peeled her bra down for better access.
“Oh!” Harper shivered at the unexpected sensation of beard scruff and tongue on her boobs. “Oh, I like that.” She immediately cringed. “That sounded dumb.”
Ash sat up and stripped off his underwear, chucking them in the general direction of the door.
“Uh, no. Flag on the play. That’s not allowed.”
“What?” Harper stared up at him in shock. He was getting naked and saying no? She felt confused.
“We lovvvvvvve Harper,” he said, licking her stomach, which made her squeal in delight. “We do not say mean things about Harper. And we most definitely help Ash out by telling him what we like.”
He peeled her bra down again and, with his eyes on hers, teased her nipple with his tongue. Harper didn’t think anyone had actually asked what she liked before. She hadn’t prepared a list, but if she was starting one, she was putting Ash’s mouth on it.
“I think I like tongue things,” said Harper, breathlessly.
“Really?”
He swirled his tongue, and Harper made a noise she wasn’t sure she’d ever made before.
“Yes!” she managed to squeak out.
“So, I should put my tongue…” He took his sweet time dragging his tongue along her entire torso. “Here?” He kissed her through her panties, and Harper couldn’t help letting out a woof of air.
“Yes! Yes, I want you to…” Harper didn’t know how to actually ask for what she wanted. She’d never said it out loud before. Ash nibbled along her panties while his fingers worked them off her hips.
“Say it,” he said, challengingly. “Go on. Tell me what you want.”
Harper looked down at him. Ash always gave her everything she wanted. Every time she asked for something, he just gave it to her. He was an anomaly. Her very favorite anomaly in the whole world.
“Put your tongue right there,” she whispered, sliding her hand between her thighs, “and don’t stop until I come.”
Ash grinned as he popped a hair tie off his wrist and pulled his hair back. He was about to get serious.
Harper lost track of time and possibly reality. Still, somewhere between sensation, exploration, and trying to figure out how to say yes repeatedly when she could barely breathe, he definitely delivered.
Ash kissed her way up her body, and when he was finally inside her, Harper let out what previously would have been an embarrassingly loud moan of ecstasy.
Their bodies moved together, and Harper forgot to think about whether or not she was doing anything wrong.
She pressed her forehead into his shoulder and held onto him.
The extra pressure was so good. She wanted him to keep doing it forever.
It seemed so unlikely that she would be able to keep him, but for tonight, he was all hers.