23AshThe Next Morning
Ash
The Next Morning
Ash woke up in Harper’s tiny bedroom, stretched, and scraped his knuckles against the shitty drywall texture.
In that moment, Ash knew two things simultaneously.
The first was that he would spend as many nights here as Harper wanted him to.
The second was that he would attempt to move her into somewhere else—preferably his place—as soon as possible.
He didn’t want to be an asshole, but her bed was a queen, and it barely fit into the room.
It would be much more convenient to take all of her things and move them into his condo. She pretty much just seemed to own clothes and that gorgeous coffee table anyway. And the coffee table would look fantastic with his couch.
Emma had hated that he’d purchased a blue couch.
In retrospect, he couldn’t remember anything of his that Emma had liked.
It was as though she’d spent two years trying to get rid of his personality.
And he’d let her. Mostly. He’d dug in his heels over cutting his hair, but he’d said yes to everything else, from holidays without his family to his clothes to putting his more colorful artwork in storage.
She’d been planning on getting an interior decorator in after the holidays.
Why had he agreed to that? Because he’d wanted that effortless sense of sophistication that Emma seemed to exude.
She was always so certain about things where he always felt like a tornado being pulled in a million different directions at once.
He rolled over and saw that Harper’s eyes were open.
She didn’t look very awake—she had a dreamy sort of fifty-yard stare on the inert light fixture.
He loved the tilt of her nose and the dark pile of hair on the pillow.
She had a little smudged mascara under her eyes, and for some reason, that was sexier than a full face of make-up.
He snuggled in a little closer and nibbled her earlobe.
She giggled and turned her face to kiss him.
Reaching up, she tucked some of his hair behind his ear.
“I like your hair,” she said. “I always want to play with it, but I know I’m not supposed to touch other people’s hair.”
“It’s a rule that if you have sex with me, you’re allowed to touch my hair.”
Harper laughed. “You just made that up.”
“Yes. But… my hair, my rules,” said Ash, with a shrug. In response, Harper buried her fingers into it with a happy little growl. Ash could not help laughing as she pulled him down to kiss her. Making Harper happy was more fun than he had any right to have.
He stopped laughing as her kiss softened, and their bodies met. The tender feeling of her skin against his was like the softest touch of silk.
Ash would have died rather than admit to any of his girlfriends that he occasionally ADHD glitched during sex and ended up thinking about something else when he was supposed to be concentrating on his partner.
He couldn’t think of anything ruder or more embarrassing.
Sex was supposed to be all-consuming—at least according to the movies—but while he thought sex was great, his brain sometimes literally had other thoughts.
But as Harper gleefully clenched her fist into his hair, he realized it would be hard to think of anything but Harper when she kept switching what she was grabbing.
She nibbled kisses along his jaw and trailed her fingers through the strands.
He managed to crook a finger under her chin long enough to pull her mouth around to his.
The way she arched up into him in pleasure was the best compliment he could think of.
It was as though her entire body was trying to ask for more.
His hands trailed along her sides, enjoying her curves and angles.
She tilted her head, and he kissed along her neck as she looped her leg over his hip, pulling her more fully on top of her.
That wasn’t asking for more so much as demanding, and he was more than happy to oblige.
The air seemed heavy and warm as their hands and bodies tangled.
He nudged her legs further apart and caressed her earlobe with his tongue. She gave a sigh, and her arms flopped out like an ecstatic starfish as he entered her.
“God, that feels so good,” she groaned, rocking her hips to match his lazy rhythm.
Ash wasn’t capable of much more than a murmur of agreement.
He didn’t want to talk—he wanted to revel in the feeling of Harper.
He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid.
He should have changed their agreement months ago.
Harper was better than anyone he’d ever dated, and he was an idiot for not realizing it before now.
“Mmm, Ash,” Harper groaned. He shoved her hand back into his hair, and she opened her eyes in surprise.
“You know you want to,” he growled but couldn’t help grinning.
She gave a happy squeak and wiggled underneath him in a way that made him gasp.
“Oh, God, yes,” Harper’s yes came out in a half moan as her hand clenched in his hair. He loved the tension from her fingers. Had he known how good it felt, he would have been asking for it long before now.
Harper hitched her legs up higher around his waist and squeezed tighter, which was eye-rollingly good.
He pushed a little faster, and that made her make more happy noises.
The hand in his hair tightened and pulled harder as she began to breathe harder.
The other hand flailed around and landed on his shoulder as she gasped.
“Ash!” her voice shook. He took that as his positive reinforcement to keep doing what he was doing. Her eyes closed tightly, and her fist clenched tight in his hair. “Do not stop!” she ordered. “I just need…” She broke off with a gasp, her fingernails digging into his shoulder. “Oh God, yes!”
Ash felt like he should have been his line, but he wasn’t sure he could make words as he gave a final thrust and came.
Ash felt both buzzed and sleepy. The hit of dopamine from having sex with Harper was better than drugs.
He wrapped his arms around Harper and exhaled in happiness.
She was breathing softly into his chest, and he thought maybe they were both asleep, but he didn’t want to investigate his own brain, let alone hers, so he just enjoyed the rhythm of her heart against his and let himself drift.
The chime on his phone went off, and his entire body spasmed in shock, and he hit his head on the headboard.
“My bed hurts less,” he muttered.
“It is a better bed,” said Harper. “But it wouldn’t fit in my room.”
“No, see, we leave this one here, and we just move us to there,” he said.
“That is a better plan,” Harper agreed sleepily.
Ash’s outstretched arm finally found his phone on the minuscule bedside table, and he picked it up.
He couldn’t remember why his phone would have a reminder alert for today.
However, that was generally the point of the alerts—to remind him that he had previously had a plan. He checked the message and groaned.
“What?” asked Harper, without looking up from his chest.
“I forgot. I told Chloe today was the day for lunch with Olly and my Mom. I really want Mom to have Grandma time, you know? I don’t know why I have to have the nanny along.”
“I thought she was his girlfriend,” said Harper.
“She is. He says she is. I don’t know. It’s fast. It’s fast, and she’s weird, and I don’t like it. I’ve taken care of Olly plenty of times on my own. This just makes it feel like he doesn’t trust Mom.”
Harper was silent.
“What?” he asked.
“He probably doesn’t,” said Harper at last. “She said she was in recovery. It takes a long time for people to get over that.”
“I got over it,” snapped Ash, and Harper sighed.
“You can’t dictate someone else’s time to forgiveness,” she said quietly. Ash immediately felt like crap and hugged her tighter.
“You’re right,” he said. “I should be glad he’s letting me do it. I just want everything to be like it was.”
“Like it was?” Harper sounded confused again. “Like it was, when?”
“When we were kids.”
“When your mom was alcoholic?”
“No, when we…” Ash trailed off. “When we were happy.”
“If your mom was drinking, then she wasn’t happy. And it kind of sounds like Forest and Rowan weren’t happy.”
Ash tried to think about that. “But I was happy,” he protested.
“I guess I just didn’t know what was wrong with Mom.
Rowan always said she was sick and made me go to bed.
” Ash ran a hand through his hair. “Forest was trying to say that. At Thanksgiving. He was trying to say I got a different childhood because I didn’t know. ”
“That’s probably true,” said Harper.
“Well, fine. Then that is what I want.”
“To not know?”
“No! For everyone to be happy for the first time. All together.”
“Rowan seemed like he wanted that,” said Harper hesitantly. “He wanted your mom to meet Vivian, anyway. That seems like a big step.”
“I like Vivian,” said Ash. “I wish they weren’t moving so fast, but she’s smart.
” He kissed the top of Harper’s head. “You’re right.
Obviously, Rowan is on my side. So I’ll just have to work on Forest, and maybe he and Chloe will break up or something.
Doesn’t matter. Point is, Operation: Valkyrie Family Reunification is actually going great this year.
We had a whole holiday together. Mom will have lunch with Olly, and I will make it go smoothly. And everything will be great.”
“Mm,” said Harper.
“Don’t doubt me, Smoak. I will make it happen. And then tonight, you will come over, and we’ll stay at my place with the bigger bed.” He checked back to see how Harper was taking this idea.
“Smoak and Ash, with a plan,” said Harper, holding up her hand for a fist bump, although the rest of her remained snuggled against his chest, and she hadn’t opened her eyes. He laughed and gave her the fist bump.