28AshDecember 28 #2
But Ash didn’t roam. Instead, he stared at his phone, debating whether or not to call Rowan or Forest. He kept meaning to tell them about Emma and not doing it.
He had to admit that it was because he was embarrassed.
But while Rowan and Forest might give him shit about it until the end of time, they would help out.
He just needed to put his pride aside and bite the bullet.
He unlocked his phone and nearly dropped it in surprise as it dinged with an alert, the haptic buzz jangling his nerves and fingers.
OK, so neither of you are allowed to ever say shit about this because Mom is super embarrassed.
Ash stared at the message. That was not a good start to whatever was about to be said.
She was going to call Ash, but she could only do one phone call and didn’t want to interrupt Ash and Harper. You know, again.
I don’t like where any of this is going.
That was Forest.
Also, who the hell is Harper? Chloe says Harper is lovely.
Ash started to compose a reply. How was he supposed to explain who Harper was now?
I liked her. She really put Mom at ease. I also liked her acronyms.
Rowan interrupted Ash’s single word of a text, derailing the entire message he had yet to type.
Is that a double entendre?
Forest sounded confused, which was reasonable.
No, she works with FEMA or something. All the letters made me feel at home.
Ash couldn’t help hitting the laugh emoji repeatedly. Rowan’s military service had left its mark on him.
WTF? How does everyone know who Harper is but me?
Harper is my girlfriend. She thinks your company is impressive, and it’s indirectly responsible for her moving to Seattle. Also, that Olly is adorable.
I like this girl. She sounds great. Stick with this one.
Rowan just sent laughing emojis, but Ash didn’t find it funny. Rowan couldn’t just start a story this way and not finish. Ash thought about switching to an actual phone conversation, but Rowan had started on text, so that meant it probably wasn’t urgent.
Can we get back to Mom and why she only has one phone call?
Right. So, I’m on my way to Mexico.
Oh God.
Ash couldn’t help echoing Forest’s sentiments but waited while Rowan slow-thumbed through his subsequent text.
Mom went to Mexico with Carol. You remember the crazy one that dyes her poodle? Only now Mom’s stuck in Mexico with an expired passport.
Ash felt like he couldn’t type fast enough. They were going to think he’d screwed up.
No, I helped her renew her passport. Her passport is current!
It is. But apparently, they boated in with a friend of Carol’s and then were flying back to Palm Springs. And it turns out that she grabbed the wrong passport, and her cellphone charger got eaten by (checks notes) a flamingo.
Chloe just fell off the couch because she snort-laughed too hard.
Anyway, I have now gone to her house, gotten her current passport, and I am flying down to meet her and get her back to the States before she gets recruited into a drug cartel or something.
I have no words for this.
Forest sounded disapproving even in that short message.
Oh, whatever. Like I didn’t have to come get you out of that jail in Marrakesh. Mom hasn’t even been arrested, and the passports look identical. It was an easy mistake.
And the flamingo?
Ash didn’t want to type it in, but he did anyway.
Her cell phone charger has a shrimp on it. It’s this cute little anime shrimp thing that goes over the head of the charging wire.
Oh. Well, that actually makes sense. I mean, for us.
Mom’s not crazy. Rowan, do you need anything?
No, I’m good. I’m hitching a ride with a friend. We’ll be back in time for New Year’s at your place. Mom was really worried she was going to miss it.
She’s stuck in Mexico, and she’s worried about a party?!!
Ash wanted to respond to Forest, but he seethed, trying to find a grown-up way to do it. Fortunately, Rowan responded before he did.
She wants to see us, you dipshit. This party is her opportunity to do that.
Ash let out a frustrated breath. Yes, why couldn’t Forest see that?
Chloe just said the same thing. I forgot I was something to look forward to.
Well, I’m not looking forward to it right this second.
Ash felt both better and worse that he’d hit send on that one.
That’s because I’m a dipshit.
Ash reluctantly laughed but cringed as he saw Forest was typing another message.
OK, well, call us if you need anything. I mean, call Vivian if you need lawyers. But between Ash and we can probably bribe a cartel or a border guard or whoever.
Ash let out his breath. That was actually helpful advice from Forest. Tossing money at a problem usually made it go away.
Pretty sure I’ve got like a million in cash in my scary closet.
Ash wanted to sound useful.
I hope that’s a joke.
Ash stared at Rowan’s message, realizing he’d misjudged the moment.
It wasn’t a joke. Ash didn’t track money that well, but the cash he ended up with did keep going into the closet, and he was pretty sure he’d stuffed at least one stack of ten grand in there at some point.
Why hadn’t he given that to Harper? Probably because that would have meant cleaning out the closet and facing all the things he kept shoving in there, but today was not that day.
Sure. A joke. I would never be irresponsible about money like that.
It worries me when he says these things.
Forest included a scared face emoji on his text. His brothers were so literal with their emojis. It made Ash shake his head.
It worries me that you don’t worry about bribing border guards.
Some countries are more flexible than others. You have to roll with the local customs.
Uh-huh. Can both of you just not do anything crazy for the very brief amount of time that I’m out of the country?
I’m an angel baby.
Ash typed in his message with pious certainty.
I said both of you, but both of you know I was talking to Forest.
That’s true.
That’s true.
Ash laughed as his text went through at nearly the same time as Forest’s.
Hey.
Ash started the text and then paused, nearly chickening out. No, he could do this.
When you get back, can we all do lunch or something? I need to talk to you about Emma.
Nooooooooo! We like Harper. We’re not going back to Emma.
Even over text, Forest was vehement. He wondered how long Forest had been holding back on saying something about Emma. It made Ash happy that he’d never said anything about Chloe.
We are definitely NOT going back to Emma, but there’s some stuff. I just need to talk it through.
Yeah, of course, bud.
Anytime.
Ash sighed. His brothers were so annoying and supportive at the same damn time. But at least he was committed to telling them what was going on. Now, he just needed to tell Harper.
He glanced at his phone again. Harper still hadn’t texted back.