Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ANDERS
“May I help you?”
When I was out running errands on my lunch hour, I decided to slip inside the local flower shop and pick up a bouquet of flowers for myself.
I had told Emil that I liked flowers, and I hoped he hadn’t taken that as a hint that I expected anything from him.
I’d been sure he hadn’t, but then I’d replayed the moment over and over in my head and started spiraling.
I figured the best thing to do would be to buy myself flowers so it was clear I wasn’t expecting anything from him.
Anyway, now I was here, and I needed to decide what I wanted to get.
“Yes, please. I wanted to get a bouquet.”
“Sure. Is this for an occasion? And is it for yourself or for someone else?”
“The occasion is my table needs some, and it’s for me.” I gave an embarrassed little laugh, but the man behind the counter just smiled.
“That’s the best kind of flowers to get.”
“I hope so because no one else is going to buy them for me.” Dammit. Why did I even say that? It felt accusatory, and it wasn’t Emil’s job to buy me flowers.
“Do you know what you’re looking for, or do you want me to pick for you?”
“If you could go with spring flowers, that would be great. Tulips, hyacinths, anemones, with some salal for the greenery. Oh, and pussy willows, if you have some, would be awesome.”
“No problem at all. I have all of that in stock. If you give me five minutes or so, I’ll be right back.”
While he went to the back to put together the bouquet, I wandered around the shop.
Buckets of flowers were laid out everywhere, along with pre-made arrangements.
I liked how pretty they were, the roses, the tulips, the occasional daffodil tucked in among them.
When he returned, he carried an overflowing bouquet wrapped in kraft paper and tied with a raffia ribbon.
“Oh my goodness. That looks amazing.”
“Thank you so much. I’m glad you like them.”
I stepped up to the counter to pay, and that’s when I noticed the flyer advertising a flower arranging class. The signup deadline was the day before. Gah.
“Oh man, I wish I would’ve seen this sooner,” I said as I fished out my wallet.
The man glanced down at the flyer. “Actually, we had one person drop out who signed up early. If you want to join, I could put your name down.”
I looked at the advertised schedule. It was during business hours but not lunchtime, which meant I’d have to shift my work hours.
I could start earlier, skip lunch, and stay later.
I wouldn’t actually lose any work time, but I didn’t feel proper signing up without clearing it with Emil first. He might have a reason for not wanting me gone during the day.
“I wish I could, but I’d need to check with my boss to see if I could take my lunch during that time.” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice.
“How about this? We put your name down, and you check with your boss. Let me know by tomorrow. The first class isn’t for another two days, so if you get the clearance, great. If not, I’ll just take your name off.”
“You would do that?” I couldn’t believe a stranger would go out of his way like that, but I appreciated it. “I’m Anders, by the way.” I stuck out my hand.
“Nice to meet you, Anders. I’m Jonah.”
I resisted the urge to do a little happy dance in the middle of the shop. I wasn’t Rory or Jakob, who could get away with something adorable like that. I would probably knock over a few vases.
“Fantastic. If you give me your card, I’ll call you as soon as I talk to my boss.”
“Fingers crossed he says yes.”
Jonah finished the transaction and handed me the flowers.
It had been so long since I’d felt happy and hopeful that I’d almost forgotten how to recognize the feeling.
It was very, very similar to what it felt like to have Emil kiss me.
We’d been dancing around an attraction for a while, and I hadn’t been sure if it was real or just wishful thinking, but the kisses on the ferry and at the cottage door had made it clear it wasn’t one-sided.
I was trying to keep perspective, but it was hard when Emil literally gave me butterflies every time he looked in my direction.
I remembered what the boys had said about not being required to have a mourning period, but it was hard not to feel like I was jumping from one man to another, even though John and I hadn’t been a real couple for months.
In my heart, I knew we’d just been living in the same space, not really together.
John had made it clear long before the actual breakup that I was no longer a factor in his life.
Still, I didn’t want Emil to feel like I was using him as the next thing, and I wasn’t sure how to communicate that, or if it even mattered.
It probably wasn’t something that could be solved this afternoon anyway.
My lunch break was almost over, and I needed to head back to the house and continue working on the files.
I had a decision to make. Mostly, it involved figuring out where I was going to live. This project was almost done, and regardless of Emil’s assurances, I knew it wouldn’t last much longer. My reprieve on the island was about to end, whether I wanted it to or not.
Anders
Will you be back in time for dinner tonight?
Emil
I was just about to message you. And yes.
I’d like to make dinner, please.
That gives me something to look forward to then.
It’ll be a little later than usual. Seven-thirty okay?
Perfect.
See you soon, sweet boy.
“Holy hell, Anders. What is that?”
Emil shouted my name as he came through the door. He hadn’t even bothered to take his jacket off or drop his briefcase.
“Is that good or bad?”
“Definitely, positively, absolutely good. It smells delicious.”
When he swept into the kitchen, Emil headed straight for me. I wasn’t sure what he was about until he dropped a soft kiss on my cheek. It was sweet and domestic and lovely.
And it also kind of sort of maybe almost definitely scared the hell out of me.
“How was the office?”
Emil had texted me early that morning to say he was going in for a meeting and would be gone all day.
Somewhere around eleven, he’d texted again to remind me not to work through lunch.
It was hard not to get giddy over the attention.
It was even harder to keep my expectations from running wild, but it felt so different from when John and I had started seeing each other.
Not that Emil and I were seeing each other, but it was hard to leave it undefined.
John had love-bombed me from the beginning.
He’d been everything I’d ever wanted and more.
He’d hung on my every word and given me constant attention, but that attention had come with strings.
Restrictions. A demand that every thought be centered around him.
At first, I’d been flattered. Then overwhelmed.
Then resigned. No matter how hard I tried or how much I gave, it always came with a correction, a suggestion, or some other signal that I’d messed it up and would never be good enough.
Emil, on the other hand, made me think I could do almost anything I wanted and he’d be okay with it, as long as the thing I wanted wasn’t working too late, skipping meals, or turning myself inside out to make him happy.
“The office was… Let’s call it insightful. I’ll tell you about it after dinner because I want to give this food my full attention. What are you cooking, anyway?” Emil leaned against the counter and watched me putter around the kitchen, finishing off meal prep.
“Pot roast, roasted carrots, mashed potatoes, and salad, so I can pretend it’s healthy. And because I had a little time this afternoon, some fresh rolls.”
Emil looked at the table already set, and his eyes landed on the flowers.
“Oh. I didn’t realize the deliveries already started.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Uh, what?” Emil looked suspiciously guilty.
“What what?” I responded.
“Nothing. Never mind. I just confused myself. Anyway, the flowers are pretty. Where did they come from?”
“Oh, I ran some errands during lunch and—”
“Errands for here?”
“Uh, yeah? I needed some cleaning supplies for the cottage and paper products.”
“Shit, I forgot to update the grocery order. Here.” Emil pulled some money from his pocket and shoved it into my hand.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“Because you don’t need to be stocking anything at the cottage.” He returned to his position, legs crossed at the ankles, radiating calm authority.
“But since I’m the one using the supplies, it should be on me. I don’t mind.”
“Mind isn’t the point. It’s not your responsibility to spend your money on it. I’m going to pull rank on this one. Sorry for interrupting. You were telling me about the flowers. Go on, please.”
Emil looked stern for the first time since I’d known him. Rather than argue, I slipped the money into my pocket.
“Uh, so after I grabbed a sandwich at the deli”—my gut told me he’d interrupt again to ask about lunch if I didn’t say it outright—“I stopped at the flower shop to buy myself flowers.”
“They’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah, Jonah did a good job.”
“Jonah?”
“The guy from the flower shop who put them together.” Now was as good a time as any to ask about changing my hours. “They’re offering a class there on flower arranging.”
“Oh yeah? Are you going to take it?”
“It’s during work hours, but I wondered if I could rearrange my lunch on class days. If it’s okay with you, I’d come in early and stay late to make up the time.”
“No, you won’t do either.”
“Oh.” His quick denial knocked the air from my lungs. All that nonsense earlier about how different he was from John came flooding back. Whatever his reason for telling me no, I was sure it was valid, but the quick denial stung. A lot. “Okay. Maybe next time then.”