Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
Emma strolled along the sunnier side of the lake, the warmth of Vanessa’s hand cradled in one of hers, a cool bottle of water in the other.
The world around them had fallen away the moment they’d stepped onto the trail, and the lake was a mirror—unmoving and untouched—reflecting a sky so blue that Emma was sure it had been painted.
Autumn in The Lakes was Emma’s favourite season.
The way the light filtered through the thinning canopy of trees, the quietness only interrupted by the chirp of birds, the crunch of leaves beneath their feet…
All of it was beautiful, and today, all of it belonged to them.
Two hours earlier, they’d wandered off the beaten path to a quaint little coffee shop tucked away beneath a cascade of ivy.
They’d shared sandwiches, coffee, and laughter at a table outside that overlooked Lake Windermere.
And since then, they’d strolled along at their own pace, stopping whenever the view insisted on being admired.
Yeah, Emma loved this place. She loved the peace and the time away from their otherwise chaotic life.
Most of all, she loved how unreachable they were in these moments.
Her phone had been switched off since lunch, untouched and forgotten at the bottom of her bag.
She was almost certain Vanessa’s had been abandoned in the glove box of the car.
Here…life didn’t have to try so hard to be beautiful. It just was. At every twist and turn.
“Did Lauren text you last night?” Vanessa asked as she gently rested her head on Emma’s shoulder.
“No. I haven’t heard from her. Have you?”
“Not a word.” Emma glanced down at her wife. Yesterday’s encounter must have lingered longer in her mind than she’d chosen to show. “Maybe you should call her when we get back to the car.”
“I’m sure she’s fine. You know how stubborn she can be.”
Mm. Emma knew. There had been a time, not too long ago, when Emma would have leapt at the opportunity to fix things, to get rid of the tension with an apologetic message.
But that was before. Before the boundaries had shifted.
These days, Emma was realising that peace came at a cost she was no longer willing to pay.
If Lauren wanted to give them the silent treatment, then so be it.
“If I’ve learned anything over the last couple of years, it’s that I’d rather let her pout than try to reason with her. We only end up falling out with one another, and I can’t be arsed with it, babe. I know she’s your daughter, but fucking hell…she gets her attitude from King Dick.”
Vanessa barked a laugh, lifting her head as she grinned at Emma. “How long have you been calling him that for?”
Emma wrinkled her nose, aware that Lauren would hit the roof if she heard that being repeated.
But she wasn’t here with Lauren. She was here with Vanessa, and Vanessa had been the one to take the brunt of his bullshit for so long.
Richard had earned that nickname like a badge of dishonour. “In my head? About ten years.”
“You know, Rosanna has left him…”
Emma blinked, surprised by that piece of information. “No way! When? And why am I only just finding out about this now?”
Vanessa turned her face to Emma. “I don’t know when exactly, but I bumped into a friend of a friend of a friend, and they told me.” She shrugged. “And as for why I didn’t tell you… Well, it’s as simple as it doesn’t really matter to us. I could have gone my whole life not knowing.”
Emma couldn’t argue with that logic, but she could laugh her arse off about the downfall of Richard’s relationship.
He had burned down a marriage to chase a fantasy, and now it had slipped through his fingers.
How fucking poetic. “Well, maybe he deserves to be alone for a while. If nothing else, it’ll show him what it feels like to be brushed aside. ”
“Come on, let’s keep walking.”
As they followed the trail, there was a slight curve to the right, which opened up to a rocky overlook. As Emma stopped, the trees gave way to an endless lake. She tugged on Vanessa’s hand and stopped her in her tracks. “Wait.”
Emma side-eyed Vanessa as she followed Emma’s gaze out to the water. “Oh, wow.”
The lake stretched out before them, so still that even a single ripple would be noticeable, the surrounding edges lined with trees that went on as far as the eye could see.
The late autumn sun hung lower in the sky, and the partial sunset was something to be admired.
A streak of pale purple had scrawled itself across the sky, taking Emma’s breath away in the process.
But it was the woman beside her who had really stolen her oxygen in this moment.
“Every time we come here, it still gets me.”
Vanessa nodded slowly, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. “It’s almost like the world just…stops and takes a deep breath with us.”
They stood in silence, hand in hand, the slightest of breezes reminding Emma that this was real and she wasn’t dreaming. She leaned her head against Vanessa’s shoulder and enjoyed Vanessa’s gentle fingertips against her neck. “So beautiful.”
“We should have packed a blanket,” Vanessa whispered. “We could have watched the stars together.”
Emma lifted her head and smiled. While it sounded like a beautiful idea, they could do that from the comfort of the decked terrace overhanging the lake later this evening.
Emma didn’t know how she’d managed to keep it from her wife when she was beyond excited to spend the night away with Vanessa, but she had…
and she wasn’t letting herself down now by revealing the truth. “Next time, babe.”
Anchoring herself to the moment, Emma squeezed Vanessa’s hand and sighed.
All of it combined together—the quietness, the lake, the sunset—it felt as though time had paused for them.
Life couldn’t always be so beautiful, but for just a moment or two, Emma would lead herself to believe that anything was possible.
“I love you.” Vanessa turned to Emma and cupped her cheek. “And I don’t want to go home. I just want to stay here with you and forget the world exists.”
Emma smiled as she lay her hand against Vanessa’s. “I love you, too.”
“Could we do that? Stay here? I’m sure one of the B she just stared. “Like last time?”
“No, baby. Not like last time.” Vanessa knew Emma had put on a brave face once they knew the mastectomy was coming, but now and then, when something reminded Emma of that time in their life together, she often had a faraway look in her beautiful grey eyes.
“Come here.” She opened her arms to Emma and held her close. “Why do you ask that?”
“Whenever you tell me we need to talk or that we should talk, I worry that you’ve found something else.”
Hearing that broke Vanessa’s heart. She never wanted Emma to worry about what was coming next.
As far as Vanessa was concerned, she was happy and healthy.
Of course she would always be aware and check her body regularly, attending any scans she was expected to attend, but she didn’t want either of them to go through life waiting for something else to hit.
It would only make them miserable. “I’m fine. I promise you.”
“You’re not fine,” Emma said quietly as she drew back. “You’re exceptional.” She searched Vanessa’s eyes, regarding her with the most beautiful smile. “I remember the morning we left here.”
“Me, too.”
“You were quiet. Almost as though you didn’t know what was coming next, even though we were both more than aware of the next steps.”
Vanessa took Emma by the hand and guided her out onto the terrace. They stood in silence for a while, watching as a hint of reflection from the moon shone over the still water beneath them. “I thought coming back here would feel…heavier. But it doesn’t. Not like I expected it would anyway.”
Emma stepped closer, wrapped an arm gently around Vanessa’s waist, and sighed. “I’m glad we came back.”
Vanessa smiled as two swans glided effortlessly across the water.
The hum of self-drive motorboats had faded some time ago now, the chill in the air preventing people from taking in the last moments of daylight out on the water, but up here it was simply perfect.
Having Emma by her side always would make those darker moments lighter.
“It looks the same,” Vanessa said as she took in her surroundings. “The trees. The lake. Even the swans look like the same pair we watched last year.”
“It does look the same.” Emma lay her head on Vanessa’s shoulder. “But…we don’t.”
Vanessa exhaled a slow breath, hoping to keep her emotions in check for the time they were here. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to come back. Even though I was excited when you surprised me with this, the drive here didn’t feel the same.”
“I know.” Emma shifted to face Vanessa fully, one hand slipping into the back pocket of Vanessa’s jeans as she pressed their bodies together.
“This time last year, I remember thinking…wishing that if we ever came back here, I just wanted us to be okay. Even after your surgery, when things quickly turned to shit, I used to think back on our time here and hope we’d see another year together, and that we’d be okay. ”
Instead of dwelling on those weeks and months when Vanessa didn’t know what she was doing with her life anymore, she chose to be honest with her wife. “I’m still trying to figure out what ‘okay’ feels like now.”
Emma leaned in and kissed Vanessa slowly. “It feels like this. Being here together…still going strong.”
“Do you…” Vanessa paused and shook her head. “Do you still think I’m beautiful?”
Emma looked back at her with tears in her eyes.
She didn’t once dip her gaze to what Vanessa had lost, no…
the look she was giving Vanessa was one of admiration.
For her strength and determination throughout all of this, even when some days she couldn’t function.
“I never stopped. Not for a single moment.”
Vanessa touched her forehead to Emma’s and closed her eyes. Just the whisper of breath against her lips was enough to ground Vanessa. These moments always would. She held onto Emma’s open hoodie and inhaled a deep breath. “I’m so in love with you, Emma.”
“I know, babe.” Emma placed a palm on Vanessa’s chest. “I’m so in love with you, too.”
“I still find it hard to believe you stayed at times. When everything fell apart, you held strong and carried me.” Vanessa sniffled but smiled. “I’ll never forget that. No matter what, I’ll never forget just how amazing you were during my recovery.”
“Sometimes we have to go through the shit to come out of it and have this at the end.” Emma lifted a hand and brushed a tear from Vanessa’s cheek with her knuckles. “I could stay here with you forever.”
“Then we should come back. Every year. To celebrate what we have.” Vanessa’s voice broke just a little. “To celebrate us.”
Emma’s bright smile made Vanessa’s heart flutter. “Maybe we could buy our own cottage. Perhaps even open a gorgeous cafe that sells good coffee and delicious pastries.”
“And amazing scones.”
Emma nodded slowly. “Now you’re talking.”
“But the truth is,” Vanessa spoke low as she gazed into Emma’s eyes.
No woman in this world could ever make her feel the things Emma made her feel.
“I don’t care where we are or what we’re doing.
So long as I wake up beside you every morning and we climb into bed with one another and discuss our day every night, then I’m the happiest woman in the world. ”
“We don’t need much, do we?”
Vanessa kissed the tip of her wife’s nose and smiled. “Our love will always be overflowing. How could we ever need anything more?”
“I was determined not to get emotional while we’re here.” Emma sniffled and shook her head lightly. “You’ve just set me up for complete failure.”
“Don’t worry.” Vanessa nipped at Emma’s bottom lip as she leaned back in and whispered, “I’ll make it up to you later…naked.”