Chapter 6 #2
Vanessa closed the front door behind her, the click of the lock sounding louder than it usually did. She exhaled a deep breath, already feeling the drain of walking into a house full of atmosphere. She didn’t have the energy for this today.
As she passed the dining table, she let her bag drop to the top of it and moved towards the living room. She paused in the doorway, the room gloomy despite the late sunlight pouring in through the windows. Emma sat slumped on the couch, her expression a mixture of frustration and anger.
“Why the long faces?”
Emma looked up, seemingly less than impressed. “Seriously, I wouldn’t bother. I’m only sitting here because you told me you were coming over. I’d have been at home otherwise.”
Vanessa nodded and stepped further into the room until she stood in front of the television. She folded her arms across her chest, waiting expectantly for something from Lauren. But nothing came. Lauren looked through her. “What’s up with you now?”
“Go home. I can’t be arsed with either of you.”
Vanessa’s brows rose. It wasn’t often Lauren spoke to her like that, and she certainly wouldn’t do it again. “If you’re going to speak to me like that, at least have the decency to look me in the eye!”
Lauren stood from the couch slowly and stopped in front of Vanessa, her eyes blazing with sarcasm as she smirked. “Go. Home.”
“Fine.” Vanessa reached out and took Emma’s hand, her grip firm as she helped her to her feet. “I’ll be there to pick Daisy up tomorrow at the usual time. Three-thirty. Let me know what time you’ll be picking her up from our place.”
Lauren turned and left the room, her voice trailing behind her as she said, “No, you won’t. She’s full-time in nursery now, all week. They had a place for her when I asked last week, so you don’t have to worry about looking after your granddaughter anymore.”
Those words slammed into Vanessa like a gale force wind. She frowned, her heart aching in her chest as she turned to Emma and lowered her voice. “What the hell is going on?”
“I don’t know, babe, but I can’t stay in this house for a moment longer. I’m sick and fucking tired of her attitude, and I’m going to get pissed off real quick.” Emma looked down, her voice cracking as though she was holding something much deeper back. “She’s pushing my buttons hard today.”
“She’s angry with me, not you.”
“No, no, she’s directing her anger for me towards you. Trust me.” Emma swallowed and shook her head. “She claims I walk around as though I’m untouched by life. I just… I can’t. Not right now.”
Vanessa’s heart plummeted rapidly. She took in Emma’s features. The glossy eyes and the slight tremble of her lip. That look… It was devastation. Not frustration, irritation, or anything else. It was heartbreak.
“That’s not true. I swear it’s not. I just…
I try to be upbeat after everything that happened last year.
To make the most of every day. If it comes across as anything else, I’m so sorry.
” Emma sniffled and lifted Vanessa’s hand, kissing the back of it carefully.
“I know how hard life was for you, but I’m just so happy you’re still here. That you’re alive, and you’re okay.”
“Don’t you ever explain yourself to me again.” Vanessa wrapped a hand around the back of Emma’s neck and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you, I’m proud of how you’ve dealt with the last twelve months, and I wouldn’t ever want you to change. All of you is perfect to me.”
“I’ll…meet you at home.”
Vanessa watched her go, aching with every step Emma took.
But she didn’t follow. Not yet. She turned and made her way to the kitchen instead.
Lauren stood there looking out of the kitchen window, seemingly uninterested in the fact Vanessa was still here.
“Do you feel better now that you’ve made Emma feel like shit? ”
Lauren spun around and threw her hands up. “Oh, come on! The pair of you together are so fucking selfish, and I know she’s the one who instigates it.”
“This is all because of the one day we chose to decline looking after Daisy?”
“There shouldn’t be one day, Mum.” Lauren crossed her arms, a hint of bitterness in her usually beautiful blue eyes. “You’ve always been quite content with being at home and doing family things. Why the change?”
Vanessa’s throat constricted. Enough was enough.
She moved slowly, unfastening the buttons of her blouse one by one.
If Lauren needed to see—if she needed the truth laid bare—then Vanessa would give it to her.
No more hiding. She peeled the silk fabric from her shoulders, folded it neatly over her blazer, and reached into her bra to remove her prostheses, the weight of them now familiar but forever unwelcome.
With a determination, she unhooked her bra that no longer served a purpose and dropped it onto the chair.
“Because of this, Lauren. This is why I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I used to be. This reminded me that I want to live a life that makes me happy. That I should do what brings me joy.”
Lauren’s bottom lip trembled as she looked away. “Mum…”
“What? Too hard for you to see?” Vanessa’s voice cracked, but she continued, knowing Lauren needed a wakeup call. “Try fucking living it!”
“Mum, please—”
“Look at me!” Vanessa’s voice thundered through the kitchen, forcing them both into a stunned silence.
Lauren finally looked up with tears spilling down her face. “Y-you don’t need to do this. Please, get dressed.”
“I think I do need to do it. Because the reality is that you are the selfish one, Lauren, and I sure as fucking hell didn’t raise you to be that way.”
“I’m struggling, okay? With Daisy, with Rob being away all the time…with feeling constantly alone in this house.” Lauren’s voice broke as she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. “I’m just…struggling.”
Vanessa felt the anger drain out of her only to be replaced by an intense tiredness.
She reached for her blouse and slid it back on, not bothering with the rest. Her body didn’t need to be masked right now.
She wasn’t hiding what she didn’t have from anyone.
“Then you should communicate that with me instead of taking it out on me…on Emma.” She slid her blazer on and picked up her handbag. “You owe her an apology.”
“I-I know.”
“And you owe me some space.” Vanessa slung her bag over her shoulder and moved towards the hallway.
“I need to head home. Call me tomorrow when you’ve decided whether you want me to take care of Daisy or not.
Until then, I don’t even want to look at you.
” She glanced back once more, her gaze holding Lauren in place.
“We’ve been through so much in such a short space of time, but this, today… I’m disappointed in you, Lauren.”
“I’m sorry.”
Vanessa lingered in the doorway, her hand on the frame.
“Instead of sitting here pretending that everything is okay, it’s better if I leave.
” She heard the exhaustion in her own voice.
Vanessa hadn’t wanted any of this today.
She just wanted to go home, take a shower, and spend the evening with her wife.
“Call Rob and tell him he needs to decide what’s more important to him.
Family or work. He can’t have both. Not when it’s resulting in this. ”
Without waiting for a response, Vanessa turned and strode down the hallway.
As she stepped outside into the open air, she blinked against the fading afternoon light.
Whether or not Lauren realised it yet, things had changed.
Vanessa would still be there for Daisy—she was her reason for breathing most of the time—but only if Lauren wanted that.
As Vanessa slid into her car, she knew one thing was for certain: she was living life for herself from now on, not for everyone else.