Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Emma braced herself the moment she heard the front door close, her pulse quickening at the thought of coming face to face with Vanessa again.
Just moments ago, the house was still, leaving Emma with the space to work through the thoughts whirring around in her mind.
She hadn’t wanted to leave Vanessa alone at Lauren’s.
Every part of her had screamed to stay, to mediate and hopefully soften the blow of whatever storm could potentially hit, but she knew better than to keep pressing a conversation when Lauren was in such a foul mood.
It wasn’t Emma choosing to take the coward’s way out, not at all, but Vanessa was Lauren’s mum, and Emma had learned she was generally the only one who could settle things down.
Hopefully, Vanessa had managed to do that.
Patching up the cracks seemed to be a yearly event lately.
Only the cracks between Lauren and Emma would need a little more filler.
Emma wasn’t rolling over on this one, and she hoped neither Vanessa nor Lauren would expect her to.
For the time being, Emma was quite happy to remain on the outskirts of this one.
Lauren’s recent observation of her had hit a nerve, and space between them was a good idea.
“Emma?” Vanessa’s gentle voice floated in from the hallway.
Emma turned away from the kitchen sink, drying her hands on a tea towel as she called out. “In the kitchen.”
The door opened slowly. Vanessa didn’t look nearly as drained as she had earlier, and that allowed a sliver of hope to settle in Emma’s mind. Though judging by the time, she hadn’t stayed at Lauren’s long. That alone had Emma wondering if this would all blow over as it usually did. God, I hope so.
“Hey. Are you okay?”
Vanessa didn’t answer. She closed the distance between them in a few confident strides and pressed Emma back against the counter, her lips claiming Emma’s with a fervent urgency.
The kiss was sudden, so raw and desperate that Emma’s breath caught, her hands instinctively grasping Vanessa’s waist for balance.
When Vanessa finally pulled back, leaving Emma dazed, confused, and a little hot under the collar, she cupped Emma’s cheek and smiled.
“Thank you for always reminding me that I may have lost my tits, but I didn’t lose my life. ”
“I, um…” Emma blinked repeatedly, those words hitting her harder than she was prepared for. “You’re welcome?”
“I’m serious, Emma.” Vanessa traced Emma’s bottom lip with her thumb, the intimate gesture sending a shiver down Emma’s spine.
Vanessa had always expressed herself with her hands, but it felt far more powerful in this moment.
“If it wasn’t for you, for always pushing me to live my life, I would have given up months ago. ”
Emma wrapped her arms around Vanessa, pulling them closer together.
Vanessa had said things like this before, but Emma had always brushed it off.
None of it ever seemed real. In Emma’s mind, Vanessa was a force of nature.
So…vibrant and untouchable. The thought that she could have ever truly given up was terrifying.
“You wouldn’t, babe. You’re the strongest woman I know. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you as hard as I did.”
Vanessa’s gentle blue eyes gazed back at her. “From this moment on, we do what we want to do. I’m not planning around anyone else anymore. If people need me, they can have me when I’m available. Not when it suits them.”
“And by people, you mean…Lauren?” Emma asked cautiously. She didn’t want to stir the pot, but ignoring it wouldn’t make it disappear. Lauren knew exactly how to use silence to her advantage, and the last thing Emma wanted was to be the next target. She’s already targeted you!
“Yes, that means Lauren.”
Emma chewed the inside of her cheek, hesitating for a moment. “Can I ask why you’ve come to that conclusion?”
Vanessa trailed a finger up the centre of Emma’s throat. A slow, teasing trail that made her ache for something more. Something…intimate. “Because she’s not dictating my life to me anymore. She’s not assuming my availability, and she’s not throwing a tantrum when it doesn’t go her way.”
“She’s okay with that?”
Vanessa shrugged. It appeared nonchalant on the surface, but Emma noted the flicker of unease in Vanessa’s eyes. “I don’t know. I said what I needed to say and left.”
“O-oh.” Emma’s heart sunk. That didn’t sound like a resolution. It sounded like a fallout. “So, you didn’t work things out as I hoped?”
“Lauren is welcome to visit me… us…when she’s figured her shit out. But she won’t speak to me like that, and she certainly won’t try it with you again, either. You may be long-time friends, but you’re my wife, and I’m not putting up with it.”
Even with the uncertainty, two things would always remain between them. Protectiveness and love.
“I appreciate that more than you know, but she’s your kid, babe. She’s your life…your blood. I don’t want you to lose any time with her or Daisy because she has it in her head that I’m manipulating you or something.”
“Manipulating me?” Hurt flashed across Vanessa’s face. “S-she said that?”
“In a roundabout way, I guess. Yeah.” Emma looked down, almost ashamed to repeat what Lauren had said. “I believe her exact words were that I tell you to jump, and you ask how high.”
Vanessa scoffed and turned on her heel, heading directly for the wine rack.
She pulled out a bottle of red, her jaw clenched and her hands trembling as she turned back to Emma.
“I don’t know who she thinks she is.” Vanessa pinched the bridge of her nose.
“I know she’s having a hard time, but that’s not on us.
We shouldn’t have to take the brunt of it. ”
“S-she’s having a hard time? With what? Is she okay?”
Vanessa softened again, tilting her head as she smiled back at Emma. “Even when she treats you the way she does, you still care deeply about her.”
“Of course I do. She may be a dickhead, but she’s still my best friend.” No matter what, they would always be best friends. Yes, things could get a little rocky from time to time, but they were stuck with one another now. If that was what Lauren still wanted. “Does she hate me?”
“No. She’s just lashing out because she doesn’t have the ability to do whatever she likes anymore.” Vanessa moved to the dining table, motioning for Emma to join her. “She said she’s struggling with Daisy and all the time Rob spends working.”
Emma nodded. “As we thought.” She accepted the red wine Vanessa set down in front of her with an appreciative smile. “What’s she going to do?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t give her the chance to respond.” Guilt settled on Vanessa’s face, but Emma didn’t know why. Lauren had spoken to her like shit earlier. “But I was worried I’d say something that would really ruin our relationship, so I decided it was better to get my things and go.”
“That’s sensible. I’m sure Lauren understands.”
Vanessa shook her head lightly, her usual beach wave a little dull this evening.
Her hair always told the truth, and tonight it was speaking louder than her words.
“I think I may have traumatised her a little.” Emma frowned, needing more information.
“She asked why I didn’t want to stay at home doing family things anymore… ”
“Right.” Emma leaned in this time, still unsure what was coming. “And?”
“And I decided to strip off in front of her and show her why I don’t want to sit at home anymore. Why I want to enjoy my life.”
Emma winced inwardly. She would never judge Vanessa, but her body tensed regardless. “You showed her your scars.”
“Mmhmm.”
“How do you feel about doing that?”
Vanessa downed her wine and refilled the glass again. “Nothing really. I don’t feel anything about it. But she couldn’t even look at me. Not until I screamed at her and she had no choice.”
Emma’s shoulders sagged with the weight of everything she was hearing. “Well, I have to admire your bravery in doing that, but I’m not sure it’s helped anything. She’s probably thinking up reasons to blame me for you doing it.”
“None of this is about you, Emma. I told you that before.” Vanessa sighed as she kicked off her heels beneath the table, groaning with relief. “When she’s ready to have a conversation and apologise, I’ll be here to listen. Until then, I’m not dealing with her. I’m sick of her attitude.”
Emma reached a hand across the table and settled it over Vanessa’s. “How about I run you a nice bath before you drink that entire bottle and regret it in the morning?”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Vanessa pushed the bottle away and leaned back in her seat. “And a sensible one, too.”
Taking the stairs slowly, Vanessa exhaled a deep breath, grateful for the silence of the house and for Emma, who had noticed the shift in her mood earlier and nudged her towards rest. But that was Emma.
She was always watching, and she always knew when Vanessa needed a moment.
Now, wrapped in one of Emma’s hoodies, Vanessa felt a little more prepared for whatever came next.
If Lauren wanted to talk, they could talk.
Vanessa wouldn’t shy away from it. But she wasn’t going to make the first move.
She had spent years absorbing blame that didn’t belong to her.
Lauren, Richard, whoever else wanted to stick the boot in.
This time, she wouldn’t stand for it. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
At the bottom of the stairs, Vanessa caught the soft glow of the living room light as it spilled out into the hallway.
She turned towards it and paused, her breath catching the moment she saw her wife.
Emma was curled up on the couch, papers from work spread across her lap, while she made notes across one of the pages.
She wore her school hoodie with the hood pulled halfway up, a blanket draped over her knees as she chewed her lip in concentration.
Vanessa didn’t move. She just watched her.