Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Vanessa moved quietly through the kitchen, just the sound of the dishwasher filling the otherwise silent and lonely space.
Her eyes strayed to the clock on the wall; Emma was still sleeping.
She had tossed and turned all night, her restlessness a reflection of the endless thoughts whirring around in her mind.
Vanessa couldn’t begin to imagine what her wife was going through, but she did know what Emma was likely feeling.
Confusion. Hurt. Disbelief. Yesterday had been a shock for them both, but Emma would pull through this.
Vanessa knew just how strong and capable she was.
Vanessa’s thoughts turned to the potentials.
If Freya was Emma’s sister…how could Emma even begin to process that?
Because it wasn’t just the idea of a sibling she’d never known.
No, it was the thought of everything Emma had been robbed of.
Everything she’d never had the chance to share with someone who was family.
This was…God, Vanessa didn’t know what to call it.
She just knew she had to remain by Emma’s side for anything she may need.
She sighed and powered on the coffee machine, resting back against the counter as it came to life and the beans started to grind.
Usually, the scent of fresh coffee in the morning would kickstart her day, but this morning, she couldn’t get out of her head.
A small part of Vanessa understood Emma’s refusal to believe this could be true, but there was a nagging at the back of Vanessa’s mind that did wonder.
If Freya was lying, why would she choose Emma of all people?
There were so many other people and faces she could have turned to.
Perhaps Freya had misunderstood something. Maybe she had overheard a half-formed conversation and pieced together a story that wasn’t true. But then what if it was true? What if Emma had a sister she knew nothing about? The idea seemed impossible, yet it had haunted Vanessa for most of the night.
Her mind raced when she allowed herself to think about Freya’s potential past. The idea that a young girl had been left in care, abandoned and alone…
it was enough to make her heart clench. While Emma had never been taken into care, she had been abandoned, too.
Vanessa didn’t know which was worse. Being taken away from the family home in Freya’s case, or being left to fend for yourself while your parents still lived in the very same house as you, as Emma had experienced.
God, she’s not going to deal with this very well…
Vanessa swallowed. All of this was almost too much to bear.
Emma had always carried other people’s pain, it was the empath in her, but this was potentially huge, and if Vanessa knew her wife the way she believed she did, then Emma would carry this for a long time.
Vanessa could almost see it in Emma’s eyes already.
How she would blame herself for something completely out of her control.
With a sigh, Vanessa filled two cups with coffee.
She guessed now was as good a time as any to wake Emma.
She yawned and slowly climbed the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, even though it was time to begin their day.
Time. Emma would absolutely need time this morning.
Time to gather herself before diving into another day of uncertainty.
Vanessa had woken up a little earlier than usual, wanting to offer Emma a moment of calm before everything picked up again.
She tiptoed into their bedroom, smiling as she watched her wife sleep.
Emma’s breath was steady, her face free from the turmoil she was facing for the time being.
But Vanessa knew that wouldn’t last. It never did.
She placed the coffee cups carefully on the bedside table before settling down on the edge of the bed.
Emma stirred, a low groan escaping her lips as she pulled the blanket tighter around her, clearly not ready to face the world just yet.
Emma mumbled into her pillow, “Please tell me today is Saturday.”
Vanessa sighed inwardly, her hand coming to rest on Emma’s back as her fingers traced comforting circles over the fabric of her T-shirt. “Unfortunately not, but I’ve brought coffee, so that’s something.”
Emma peeked over her shoulder, her tired eyes meeting Vanessa’s. “Thanks, babe.”
Vanessa’s gaze lingered on Emma. In this moment, she wanted to protect her wife from the world. She wanted to lock the windows and doors, wrap Emma up, and wait until this all blew over. “I know you’ve only just woken up, but how are you feeling?”
Emma sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes, her shoulders weighed down just as they had been last night.
“Honestly, I’m thinking about calling in sick.
” As Emma said that, Vanessa noted the guilt at doing so in her eyes.
“I thought I could handle it, but yesterday…I had a lesson with Freya. She just stared at me the entire time. It was so awkward.”
Vanessa shifted closer, a brow lifted slightly. She didn’t want Emma to hide from this. It seemed sensible to deal with it now instead of letting it fester. “And when will you eventually go back? I don’t think this is going away on its own.”
“I want to deal with it, I really do, but I don’t know how. My student thinks she’s my sister, babe.” Emma swallowed as she lowered her gaze to her lap. “I don’t want to upset her, but what else am I supposed to do? She can’t be my sister.”
Vanessa’s chest tightened at the pain in Emma’s voice. Though Emma didn’t believe it could be true, Vanessa still had to ask the question. “You’re one hundred percent sure?”
Emma’s brows drew together. “Well, no. I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but I’m ninety-nine percent sure.” She scoffed and shook her head. “Mum didn’t even want me. She’s not going to have had another kid. No way.”
Vanessa was beginning to realise that the road ahead would be rough. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“I don’t feel it. I know it,” Emma’s voice cracked. “When was the last time you heard me talk about my parents? Or better yet, when was the last time I saw any of them? Any of my family?”
Vanessa cast her gaze to the coffee cups on the bedside table, her fingers nervously toying with the fabric of her robe. “Never. Not while we’ve been together and not beforehand.”
“And what does that tell you?” Emma reached for her coffee, lifting a brow as she sat back again and watched Vanessa expectantly.
“That you removed yourself from a situation you didn’t feel comfortable in.
That your parents are out of their minds to not seek you out.
That I’m incredibly lucky to have you in my life, no matter what anyone else thinks.
” Vanessa regarded Emma with the smallest of smiles.
“Whatever you need to do, you have my full support.”
Emma exhaled a breath, this time allowing her shoulders to relax as she reached out and took Vanessa’s hand.
“Maybe I’ll see if Lauren is around in the next few days.
She’ll know what to do.” Vanessa mostly agreed with that, but she knew her daughter didn’t always approach things with the patience Emma would need.
“Or she’ll give it to me bluntly. I don’t know which I’d prefer, but I’ll probably still speak to her about it. ”
“Okay, well, if you want me there with you, you just let me know.”
Emma’s thumb traced slow, soothing circles across Vanessa’s knuckles. “I appreciate that, but you’ve dealt with more than enough over the last year. I’m not making this an issue for us. I’m so done with not knowing what’s coming. I thought all of that was over.”
“Emma…” Vanessa sighed, desperately wishing Emma wouldn’t try to carry this alone. They came as a pair, and no matter what, they faced it together.
“No, babe.” Emma held up a hand. “If my mum did have another kid, it only makes me hate her more than I already do. I mean, she didn’t think that piece of information would be something I’d want to know?
” Her voice rose, anger laced through her words.
“She’s probably hungover to fuck this morning as usual.
It’s all she knows. She’s a waste of space. ”
Vanessa hated seeing Emma so angry. This wasn’t like her. Not this intense and not with something so personal. Vanessa wanted to reach out and take Emma in her arms, but she knew better than to force it. If Emma needed to let it all out, then so be it. “Baby, please don’t work yourself up.”
“D-do you think it’s true?” Emma’s voice faltered slightly as she gazed back at Vanessa. She was looking for the answers to everything—that was clear from the raw vulnerability in her eyes. “Honestly, do you?”
Vanessa took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. Emma had asked the question. She could only be honest in return. “I think anything is possible.”
“Fuck.” Emma lowered her coffee to the table and buried her face in her hands. “What the hell am I meant to do if Freya is my sister?”
“That’s the difficult part that I’m struggling with.
” Vanessa couldn’t begin to navigate this.
She needed more time to get it all right and in order in her head.
But she did know that until they had some definitive answers, Emma’s well-being was the only thing that mattered.
“Just because you could potentially be related, it wouldn’t be as simple as just connecting with one another.
You said Freya no longer lives with your parents.
If she’s been adopted, I’m not sure how her new family will feel about you entering her life. ”
“Surely they’d be happy. I mean, what other way is there to feel?” And there it was. The hint of hope in Emma’s voice. The confirmation that she had imagined a relationship with Freya. “She’s my blood, Vanessa. They can’t just stop me from seeing her.”
Oh dear. This was going to get very messy, very fast.