Chapter 11 #2
“I understand what you’re saying, but I need you to prepare yourself for the possibility of no contact. I don’t know how that would work with school, but personal time could well be very different.”
Emma’s breath caught as tears fell down her cheeks.
Vanessa swallowed down the lump in her own throat and shifted on the bed until Emma was in her arms. She sobbed into Vanessa’s chest, drawing back a moment later with a trembling bottom lip.
“So, I may have found a sister, but I’m probably not going to be entitled to any kind of relationship with her? That seems pretty fucked up.”
“It is, baby. It’s all kinds of fucked up.” Vanessa had no idea how to combat any of this. She sure as hell hoped Lauren could find the right words when Emma came face to face with her. “But we don’t know the truth about anything yet, so don’t let it weigh too heavily on you, okay?”
Emma sighed and sank back against the pillows. She looked exhausted even though she’d only just woken up. “Will we ever have a normal fucking year with one another?”
Vanessa pulled the cover up and over them, holding onto Emma’s trembling body.
“Oh, I think so. The year before last was pretty normal, and exciting, and filled with love and laughter.” This was just a small bump in the road.
It had to be. “We’ve had so many amazing moments together.
That will never change. And no matter what’s coming, I’ll always make sure each day brings some kind of happiness. ”
“Those are the moments I crave. Believe me.”
Vanessa pressed a gentle kiss to Emma’s hair. “Everything is going to be okay. We’ve been through much worse.”
“You’re right.” Emma hung an arm loosely over Vanessa’s waist. “And we always come out of it on the other side.”
“Okay, two more laps and then it’s time for lunch!
” Emma held her whistle close to her lips as she watched her group of students shuffle around the sports field.
The scent of freshly cut grass had perked Emma up, but the energy from her students was anything other than lively.
“If we don’t pick our feet up, we go again. Come on, you know this!”
Emma’s morning had been unusually quiet, but that was just as well given her restless night.
She’d barely had any sleep, she’d one hundred percent over-caffeinated, and her eyelids were heavy…
but she pushed through. What other choice did she have?
She had a wife depending on her, as well as the students complaining as they reached the far side of the field to tend to.
She spotted Freya laughing with Alice at the front of the running group.
Emma wasn’t na?ve enough to think she could avoid the situation forever, but she didn’t want to feel like this.
She was the kid’s teacher. The last thing she wanted was to pull away from Freya, but every time she saw her, there was a dreadful tension in the air.
If she wasn’t careful, it would be suffocating her before too long.
With a sharp whistle, Emma motioned to the side of the field, where the hockey sticks lay abandoned.
“Okay, bring it in.” She scanned the mess of equipment scattered on the field, but her mind drifted just for a moment to the fact that Freya’s eyes had never left her.
They hadn’t since the lesson had begun. Throw in the fact that it was a Double P.E.
lesson, and it wasn’t exactly ideal given the current state of things.
“Those of you who were kind enough to help me with the equipment earlier can go ahead and run off to the changing rooms. Those of you who complained…pick something up and help out.”
She turned to face the small group of students behind her. Freya was one of them, but there was no need to address her. She had already done her part, and she’d done it without a single word of protest. “Freya, you did your bit on the way out here. Go and change and get ready for lunch.”
Freya bent to pick up the bibs that had been carelessly tossed to the floor. “I don’t mind, miss. I like helping out.”
Kelsey snorted, her eyes narrowed with that usual defiance as she stood with her core group of friends. The same ones who had done nothing to help earlier. “Told you, didn’t I? Teacher’s pet!”
Emma clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to speak up.
She had a feeling that was exactly what Kelsey wanted, but if Kelsey wasn’t careful, she wouldn’t make it far in a school that prided itself on discipline and effort.
Emma squared her shoulders and cleared her throat.
“Less of the silly comments, Kelsey. Pick up the cones, take them to the cupboard, and do it quickly.” Emma turned away before Kelsey could respond, her gaze landing on a pile of cones she had yet to gather.
She was done with this. Her patience was wearing thin, and she could almost feel the exhaustion getting the better of her. “But thank you for your help, Freya.”
Freya gave her a slight nod and sloped off towards the changing rooms, leaving Emma standing with Kelsey and her friends.
“You can all head in,” Emma said, eyeing Kelsey as her friends walked away. “Not you. I’d like a word.”
Kelsey stood with her hip jutted and her arms folded across her chest. “What?”
Emma took a breath, forcing herself to meet Kelsey’s defiant stare.
“I know you think your friends enjoy your bad behaviour, but one day, they’ll realise that they have work to do and that their studies are far more important than watching you argue with teachers.
When that day comes, you’ll be the one left behind. ”
Kelsey shrugged. “Whatever.”
Emma paused, choosing a different route with Kelsey instead.
All children wanted to be noticed, and Kelsey surely wasn’t any different.
“You show potential, Kelsey. Your footwork during netball practice is some of the best across all years in this school. Don’t let your attitude get in the way of your talent. ”
“I hate school.” Kelsey scoffed, rolling her eyes as if Emma’s compliment meant nothing to her. But it did. Emma could see the very slight change in her stance. It was far less defensive than it had been only a moment ago. “My brother doesn’t even go to school, so why do I have to?”
That question caught Emma off guard. If she had to guess, Emma would say that Kelsey’s home life wasn’t great. She knew the signs; Emma had been the signs twenty years ago.
“I don’t know the reasons for your brother not attending school, but you’re here, and I’d appreciate it if you made more of an effort to actually be present.
” Emma held out a stack of cones towards Kelsey, surprised when she took them without protest. Perhaps not being around her friends made her a little less abrasive.
“Walk back with me.” Emma gestured to the pathway leading behind the school.
The brief silence between them felt as though this could be a rare moment to connect, but Emma wasn’t sure Kelsey wanted to do anything of the kind.
“So, why doesn’t your brother go to school? ”
“He’s in prison.”
The words hit Emma like a train, but Kelsey said them as if they were nothing. As though it was just another person to relay the story to. But it made sense now. The way Kelsey acted out and how she built up her walls. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s not like adult prison. It’s that young offenders place for kids who aren’t old enough for adult prison.” Kelsey shrugged. “He stole a car with his friends and crashed it. I didn’t even know he could drive.”
“I see.” Emma nodded slowly. She hadn’t expected this moment with Kelsey today. And maybe it wouldn’t change anything, but she was certain that Kelsey wasn’t just a rebellious student. She was a struggling child who Emma could connect with based on her own shitty upbringing.
“When the police came to our house, Mum just told them to take him.”
God, the numbness in Kelsey’s voice stung. It was becoming clear that Kelsey used her bad behaviour as a shield…and that was just sad. “I hope your brother can see what he did was wrong and that he can come out of young offenders a better person.”
“Mum says he’ll be in prison most of his life because he doesn’t know how to behave.
” Kelsey cradled the stack of cones in her arms, talking to Emma like they were old friends.
Emma felt a strange comfort in the shared space between them.
“She said I’ll probably be the same because of our dad. He’s in prison, too. I don’t see him.”
Fuck. It was no wonder Kelsey was always on the edge and never quite allowing herself to show any sort of vulnerability.
If her own mother said terrible things to her, why wouldn’t she exhibit the behaviours she had so far?
“I don’t think the same thing will happen with you,” Emma said, gently nudging Kelsey’s shoulder as she smiled.
“You’re bright, and when you put your mind to something, you excel.
It’s important you remember that. No matter what other people think, it’s your choice to make something of yourself. ”
Kelsey frowned, but something changed in her eyes as she looked back at Emma. “But…Mum says I’m too stupid to do anything good.”
Emma stopped dead in her tracks before walking through the double doors, anger rising from deep within that she didn’t particularly want to feel.
How could anyone—especially a mother—say that to a child?
And to a daughter who was quite clearly full of untapped potential?
Emma suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to make Kelsey believe in herself.
“You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to put your name forward for the residential trip coming up in a few weeks.
Mr Spader has been looking for students who could benefit from it, and I think you’re just the person. ”
Kelsey stared back at her, confusion clouding her eyes. “What’s a residential trip?”
Emma’s smile softened. She hoped to paint a picture of something Kelsey had never had before.
An opportunity and a chance to escape, even if just for a while.
“Basically, you go away with other students for a week. Rock climbing, abseiling, gorge walking. It’s really cool.
I took the trip last year, but I’m not able to this year.
” She could have gone, but she didn’t want to.
It would only mean more work once she returned.
Her own reasons aside, she wanted Kelsey to see that there was more to life than what she’d known, or rather, what she’d been told by the people who were supposed to raise her right.
“You stay in bunk beds with new friends and have campfire evenings with marshmallows and stuff.”
For the first time, Kelsey’s eyes lit up with a spark of excitement that broke through her tough exterior.
Emma saw a glimmer of a girl who wasn’t just a troubled student, but someone capable of finding joy in something outside the four walls of her home life.
A girl who still had dreams, even if they were buried deep inside.
“But you have to show better behaviour, Kelsey,” Emma said with a knowing look. “I know you’re capable of it, and I know you’re still finding your way at this school, but any more detentions and Mr Spader won’t consider you for a free place.”
Kelsey hesitated, her fingers tracing the edges of the cones she held in her arms as she chewed her lip. “Will I need to take food and things with me? Mum won’t give me money to buy that sort of stuff.”
Emma’s heart broke at the honesty in Kelsey’s voice.
“No. Don’t worry about anything other than your behaviour.
The school provides everything you need.
” That wasn’t entirely true, there were always little expenses, but Emma didn’t want Kelsey to be held back by the fear of not having enough.
She wanted to give her something to look forward to.
And the school did make exceptions for those students who had less than others.
“Don’t let yourself down and lose the position, okay? ”
“Okay.” Kelsey lowered the stack of cones to an empty space inside the massive sports cupboard. She brushed her hands down the front of her P.E. shorts and turned back to Emma. “And, um…miss?”
Emma smiled as she took her keys from her pocket to lock the cupboard. There had been a spate of footballs mysteriously disappearing before the summer. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry for being naughty. I promise to try harder.”
The simple apology hit Emma in a way she hadn’t expected. It was raw and real, and for the first time, Emma could say it had been a pleasure to be in Kelsey’s company. “I know. I believe in you.”
“Do you really?” Kelsey’s eyes widened. “Honestly, miss?”
“Of course. You can do anything you put your mind to. I promise you that.”
“Thanks, miss.”
Emma winked as she nodded towards the changing rooms. “Go. Get changed and enjoy lunch. I’ll speak to Mr Spader during my own lunch break.”
Kelsey turned for the changing rooms, a spring in her step as Emma watched her go. Kelsey wasn’t beyond saving. Far from it. With time and support, she could find her way.
Emma leaned back against the wall in the corridor, exhaling a deep breath as she watched the door close behind Kelsey.
It felt like she had accomplished something today.
Something small, but significant. Now, if she could just figure out the truth about Freya, then maybe things could return to normal.
At least, that’s what Emma was hoping for.