Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Emma cracked her knuckles as her laptop came to life.
While she’d slept better last night, she’d also woken with a determination raging throughout her.
Today, one way or another, she would have answers.
It didn’t matter that contacting her mum meant reopening old wounds.
It didn’t matter that whatever she found would likely cut deeper than anything she’d faced in the past. What mattered was finally knowing.
Knowing whether Freya was her family…knowing whether she could have had a better life if Emma had been around for her.
You didn’t know. You can’t pin this on yourself!
She opened tab after tab, pulling up social media platforms she rarely bothered with. Emma was usually too busy getting lost in her wife’s eyes, too content in her quiet life to care about online drama. But not today. Today was an exception.
She typed her mum’s name into the search bar.
The first profile that popped up was unmistakable.
Jane was smiling in that ‘my life is amazing’ way, her hair styled immaculately, always playing the part of someone she wasn’t.
Emma clicked on the profile, her pulse pounding in her ears, and zoomed in on the photo.
Her breath caught. It was her mum. But the man her mum was kissing in the picture wasn’t her dad. Her mouth ran dry. No fucking way! She blinked, then squinted as she dragged the laptop closer, as if bringing it nearer would somehow change the truth.
She knew that man.
That…was her uncle. Her dad’s brother.
Everything within Emma recoiled. Her first instinct was to laugh, but this wasn’t funny. It was disgusting. My God. She has no shame at all.
She turned quickly in her chair. “Babe, you’re not gonna believe this!
” Her eyes darted to the kitchen, where Vanessa was moving about with ease.
Emma wished she could be doing the very same thing, but she feared she’d fall down if she dared to stand up.
“Mum isn’t seeing Dad anymore. Not judging by her profile picture, anyway. ”
“Oh.” Vanessa crossed the room and placed a glass of fresh orange juice on the table. “Maybe she’s doing better and looking after herself.”
Emma shook her head, still plagued with disbelief. “Vanessa, she’s shagging my dad’s brother.”
Vanessa froze. “I’m sorry, what?”
Emma leaned back in her chair, that disbelief slowly giving way to utter disgust. She shouldn’t be surprised, her mum had a name for herself around the town at one time, but…her uncle? Really? “Mm.”
“You’re not serious.”
“Oh, I am. I’m real serious.” She turned the laptop towards Vanessa, letting the screen speak for itself. “That man is my uncle. That woman is my mother. And I…I just fucking can’t with any of them.”
Vanessa’s eyes softened as she reached across the table and took Emma’s hand. “God, I wish you didn’t even have to look her up. This has to be a lot for you to take in. I’m sorry.”
Emma’s gaze flickered to the screen again. “Me too.”
“Maybe there’s another way we can do this,” Vanessa said as she squeezed Emma’s hand. “A way that doesn’t involve you reaching out to her at all.”
“She’s the only one who can give me answers.” Emma dragged her fingers through her hair. “She’s either going to confirm it…or tell me it’s not true.”
“I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell you about Freya if she is your sister,” Vanessa frowned, but Emma understood completely.
Women like Vanessa and women like Emma’s mum were poles apart.
She would never expect Vanessa to understand the way her mum’s mind worked.
Even Emma hadn’t been able to figure it all out.
“What kind of woman keeps her children apart?”
Emma lifted a brow. “Has anything I’ve ever told you about her even hinted at her giving a shit about anyone other than herself?”
“No.” Vanessa smiled weakly as she lowered her gaze to the table. “No, it hasn’t.”
“Then now you realise that’s exactly the kind of woman she is. And if I know her the way I think I do, she’ll have kept it from me to hurt me. She always did love hurting me emotionally.”
Vanessa swallowed hard. “Emma, I don’t want you to make contact with her if it’s going to be painful for you.
I’m sure we can find out the truth another way.
Maybe some kind of fostering or adoption records.
Maybe the school can shed some light on contact information for Freya’s… situation at home. I don’t know.”
“Fuck it.” Emma scoffed as the cursor landed on the little call sign next to the message option on her mum’s social media page. The sight of Jane’s name staring back at her made her skin prickle. “Maybe catching her off guard is the best way to do this.”
Vanessa’s head snapped up; her eyes wide. Emma couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, but anxiety had just flashed across her wife’s face. “Baby, think about this.”
Emma didn’t flinch. She lifted a shoulder, her jaw clenched tight. The sharp sound of the call tone filled the silence between them, and then it was replaced by a voice Emma hadn’t heard in many years. “Hello? Emma?”
Emma gripped the edge of the table, trying to ground herself. “Are you at home?” She wasn’t giving her mother anything. No tone, no emotion, no…nothing. Jane had always known how to play on Emma’s vulnerability. Not today. Never again. “Or will you be at some point today?”
“I… Yes. I’m at home.” There was a confusion in Jane’s voice, but Emma noted the unease, too. It was rare to hear her mum feel anything. This…was new. “A-are you coming here?”
“No, I just thought I’d ask for the fucking sake of it!” Emma pinched the bridge of her nose, determined not to rise to any of the emotions she was feeling. Right now, the strongest was hatred. “What time is best for you? I’ll leave in the next twenty minutes, so I won’t be long.”
Jane didn’t answer, but Emma did hear a slight shuffle on the end of the line.
“I don’t have time for games, Mum.”
“Y-you do know that I moved out of the area many years ago, don’t you?”
Emma opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came.
She hadn’t known anything about her mum moving out of the area, but then again, why would she?
Emma had chosen to cut ties with her birth family so long ago that she barely remembered just how long it had been.
And then it hit her. If her mum had moved out of the area a while ago, it would explain why Emma had never known about Freya.
It would also explain why the locals had never mentioned something so huge either.
She kept her tone level as she ran a hand through her hair. “What’s your address?”
“Emma, what’s this about? Why do you want to see me?”
Oh, that wasn’t why Emma was visiting. She could quite happily go through the rest of her life never seeing her so-called mother again.
She laughed and shook her head. “I don’t want to see you, but I do have something I need to talk to you about.
And no, it can’t wait, so don’t try to put me off visiting. What’s your address?”
“It’s, uh…Heathfield Road. Number seven. Yorkshire.”
Fucking unbelievable. Emma rolled her eyes as she glanced at Vanessa, who was watching her with concern etched on her face.
“Right. I’d better make a move then since you decided to fuck off to the back of beyond!
” She ended the call and dropped her phone to the table with a clatter.
Every time she came into any sort of contact with her mum, she generally ended up frustrated.
It was no surprise that she was feeling that way right now.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this, babe. ”
“A bad feeling?”
“She’s going to be my sister, isn’t she?
” Emma sighed, feeling exhausted from the very brief exchange.
She didn’t want to have to deal with something beyond her control.
It was typical of her mum to put something like this on her shoulders, though.
“I mean, it’s all starting to make sense.
If she moved away years ago, nobody around here would know anything about Freya. ”
“Mm. I can understand what you’re saying.” Vanessa stared down at the table, biting at the inside of her cheek. Her mind was probably working through the same grim possibilities as Emma’s. “All I can say is that you need to prepare yourself for whatever she has to say.”
Emma nodded slowly, pulling the cuffs of her hoodie over her hands as she brought her knees to her chest. “I know I told you I didn’t want you involved in this, but…
would you come with me today?” Her voice trembled slightly, so she cleared her throat and pushed through.
“I don’t think I have it in me to be in the same room alone with her. I don’t even know her anymore.”
Vanessa rose to her feet and guided Emma up with her, immediately wrapping her up in a strong embrace.
Her arms were grounding…safe. They were a gentle reminder that Emma wasn’t doing any of this alone.
“I told you I’d be by your side, and I meant it.
” Vanessa touched Emma’s cheek lightly. “You know I’ll be wherever you need me to be. ”
Emma swallowed hard, pushing down the lump of emotion that had risen in her throat. Her eyes stung, but she refused to let her tears show. Not yet. “Thank you.”
A deep sense of dread anchored in Emma’s stomach as she stood before the weathered front door, its white paint chipped and flaking like it had given up pretending to be anything other than what it was.
Her hand hovered near the doorbell, motionless, frozen by the severity of what waited on the other side.
She had passed by the front window on her way up the garden path—there was no way Jane didn’t know she was standing here—but Emma wouldn’t put it past her mother to leave her out in the cold.
That had always been her gift. Making Emma feel like she didn’t belong…
like her very presence was an intrusion on Jane’s shitty existence.