Chapter 12 #2
“Are you okay?” Vanessa’s soft voice reached her, sending a warmth up her spine that Emma desperately needed in this moment. “Emma?”
Emma gave a quick nod and exhaled a deep breath through her nose.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just dreading seeing her.
” Her attempt at a smile was pathetic, but before she could second-guess herself…
her decision to come here, she puffed out her cheeks and pressed the bell.
“Whatever happens here today, I apologise.”
Vanessa’s brows drew together. “What could you possibly need to apologise for?”
Emma shrugged. The only reason she was so nonchalant when it came to Vanessa’s question was because she knew her marriage and her life with Vanessa were unbreakable. “She can be pretty ugly when she wants to be. God knows what will come out of her mouth. Depends if she’s drunk or not.”
Memories of her childhood sat firm in Emma’s mind.
The smell of stale wine lingering in the air, the sound of raised voices echoing down the hallway, the empty fridge that somehow always had room for more alcohol.
It had been the reason Emma left the second she legally could.
When alcohol came before feeding your own child, there wasn’t much room left for love.
“I’m sure she’ll have an opinion about us being together.” Emma snorted. Even though it had been a long time since they’d come face to face, Emma knew her mum far better than anyone could possibly imagine. “She never did know when to shut up and mind her own business.”
Vanessa stepped closer and settled her hand on the small of Emma’s back. “Don’t you worry about anything she says about me. I can hold my own.”
Emma opened her mouth to respond, but the creak of the door interrupted her.
Jane Carlton.
She was older, naturally, but she somehow appeared healthier. Her blonde hair was held back neatly in a braid, her skin was clear, and she seemed relaxed. Emma blinked repeatedly, caught off guard by just how well Jane looked. Do what you came here to do and leave. “Got a minute to talk?”
“Y-yes. Come in.” Jane stepped aside, offering a smile that Emma had never seen from her before. It seemed genuine and warm. Emma hesitated before stepping inside, holding on tightly to Vanessa’s hand.
“I didn’t think you’d actually turn up here. It was quite a shock when you called earlier.”
“Not as big as the shock I got earlier this week!” Emma turned in the narrow hallway, the scent of floral air freshener throwing her off.
This wasn’t the kind of environment she was used to being in with her mum.
She should have been swaying before her, not standing there looking put together and happy. “You look…well.”
Jane lowered her gaze to the wood flooring beneath their feet, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. “Yes. It’s amazing what getting sober can do for you.”
Emma didn’t know how to react to that. It was good, of course it was good, but it also made the silence over the years even harder to take. Jane had been working on herself. Just not enough to pick up the phone. “Lovely. Good for you.”
“Would you like to go through to the kitchen?” Jane motioned down the hallway. “Maybe we could have a cup of tea while you tell me what this is all about.”
Emma turned to Vanessa, who offered a small nod. Silent reassurance. “This is Vanessa, by the way. My wife.”
“I know.” Jane’s eyes remained on Vanessa for a moment, her smile bright. Again, Emma didn’t know how to deal with that. She’d expected some remark, something insulting, but it never came. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Vanessa replied politely, the way she always did. Even with people who didn’t deserve it. Emma sometimes wondered how her wife managed to hold herself that way. Emma sure as hell couldn’t do it. Not here.
“How could you possibly know who she is? You haven’t once made contact with me in what? I don’t even remember how long it’s been.”
“I came across a picture of you on your wedding day on social media,” Jane said as she casually walked into the kitchen. “The less said about that, the better.”
Emma frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean? “Excuse me?”
“I’ve looked you up on social media once or twice. I know you won’t like that, but I did it to remind myself of just how well you’re doing in life.”
Emma glanced sideways at Vanessa and lowered her voice as she said, “Remind me to block her name on all my accounts when we get home.”
Vanessa turned to her and cupped Emma’s cheek. “Just deal with what’s going on here. Forget about social media and blocking people for the time being. This is where you should concentrate your attention. The here and now.”
Emma leaned into Vanessa’s touch, her eyes closing as she smiled. “God, I love you.” Her hand pressed gently over Vanessa’s, holding it to her face. “You always speak so much sense.”
“The benefit of having seventeen years on you.” Vanessa winked, that sexy, bright-white smile appearing for just a second before it faded away again. “Now, sit down and talk.”
“Fine. But only because you asked me to.” Emma rolled her eyes playfully. Vanessa always had the ability to calm her in any situation, and right now, she was thankful for it. It made all of this feel less harrowing.
Her smile lingered as she turned her attention back to her mum. Jane was watching them. Not callously, just…quietly. As though she was taking everything in now that she had a clear mind.
“So, got something you need to tell me?”
Jane frowned. “In regards to what?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Having another kid and destroying her fucking childhood, too?”
“Emma.” Vanessa’s hand settled on Emma’s shoulder. “Do this amicably. That way, nothing can be thrown back at you. You’re far better than this.”
Emma exhaled a long, slow breath. “Sure. Yeah.”
Jane carried three cups to the dining table with an elegance that didn’t quite match Emma’s memories of her.
A teapot followed, along with milk and sugar in matching ceramic jars.
Emma blinked, momentarily thrown by the domesticity of it all.
A teapot? That was new. When she was growing up, tea came from a stained mug if you were lucky.
And more often than not, the kettle was replaced by a saucepan of water left bubbling on the stove, half-forgotten while her mum emptied another bottle of red down her throat.
“Please, sit down,” Jane offered, as she waved a hand over the table.
Emma settled beside Vanessa, their legs brushing under the table.
That simple contact anchored her in the moment.
She watched Jane move around the kitchen, noticing how tidy the place and the person were.
Emma knew that a part of her should have been glad to see her mum like this, but another, much bigger part resented her.
Why now? Why after everything had been broken?
“How long have you been off the drink?” Emma asked, a brow lifted.
Jane poured the tea without spilling a drop. At one time, she couldn’t even pour a glass of wine without shaking it all over the place. “Just over three years.”
Emma passed Vanessa her tea with a smile before looking back at her mum. “And Dad?”
“I haven’t seen your dad in five years,” Jane said quietly, as though she didn’t wish to discuss him. “I believe he’s still the very same person, though. Based on the people I’ve spoken to over those years.”
Emma scoffed. “Well, I guess some things never change.”
The three of them sat with steaming cups between them, an awkward silence settling over the room. Then Jane lifted her gaze to Emma’s. “You’re here about Freya.”
Emma instantly stiffened. “So, I do have a sister I didn’t know about?” She leaned back in her chair, her shoulders sagging. “You didn’t think that was important enough for you to share with me?”
Jane lowered her eyes. “What difference would it have made? You can’t stand the sight of me, Emma.”
“What difference?” Emma asked, incredulously. “Are you fucking serious? My little sister ended up in care, and you didn’t even tell me she existed!”
Jane didn’t flinch. She remained calm and composed, infuriating Emma further. “And if you’d known, what would you have done?”
What would she have done? Really? That’s where Jane was going with this?
Emma straightened her shoulders and glared at her mum.
“Taken her away from you. Raised her. Shown her what a stable family could be.” She lifted her hands, only to sink back in her seat, feeling defeated.
Emma hadn’t even been given the opportunity to help Freya. “Jesus, Mum.”
“I wasn’t expecting any more children,” Jane explained. “Freya was an accident, shall we say? I wasn’t capable of looking after her when I couldn’t look after myself. Your dad was a waste of space, but that didn’t surprise me. He never could be bothered to take care of anyone but himself.”
“You’re one to talk!” Emma barked a laugh. “Do you care about anything you’ve done to your kids? Do you have an ounce of regret for the way I was raised, and then Freya? Do you even give a shit?”
“I care more than you think I do,” Jane said, her gaze pinning Emma to her seat. “And while I understand you’re angry, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me like that. I’m still your mum.”
Emma glared at her, stunned by the nerve her mum possessed these days. “You truly believe that? That you’re my mum?”
Vanessa’s hand slid gently onto Emma’s knee, applying just enough pressure to remind her she wasn’t alone.
“I was bullied in high school because of you,” Emma said, her voice rough as years of pain came flooding back.
“The only meal I was guaranteed daily was when I was at school. I used to dread the weekends because I knew I probably wouldn’t get much to eat…
if anything at all. It was like a game most of the time.
Who wins tonight…Emma or the vodka!” She glared at her mum.
“And you have the fucking audacity to sit there and tell me you’re still my mum? Don’t make me laugh.”