Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Emma closed the door to the P.E. office and leaned back against it, the cool wood grounding her for a moment before her mind went into overdrive.
With a deep breath, she crossed the room and lowered her water bottle beside the stack of unmarked worksheets she’d been avoiding all morning.
She didn’t know how she’d made it through the day without falling apart—Freya’s email sat heavily in her mind from last night—but here she was… still somehow in one piece.
She pulled her phone from her hoodie pocket and scrolled to Nia’s number.
It was the end of the school day, and she needed answers before her mind tied itself in any more knots.
She’d already avoided Freya today, unsure how to respond to her email, and she couldn’t go another day doing the same thing.
Freya would take her silence to mean something it didn’t if she kept this up.
Nia picked up on the third ring. “Hi, Emma. How are you doing?”
Emma exhaled as she dragged a hand through her hair. “I’m alright. I got Freya’s email last night.”
“I’m glad to hear she replied,” Nia said warmly. “How did it feel reading it?”
“Honestly? Like someone had ripped my heart out and danced all over it.” Emma’s throat tightened. “I don’t know how much you’re aware of, but I found out via her email that she’s spent most of her life believing I left home because I hated her.”
“That’s difficult to hear,” Nia acknowledged. “But you have to remember that this is exactly why we give young people the chance to ask questions. They deserve the truth from the people involved, not the version they’ve been told.”
Emma lowered herself into her chair and pressed her palm to her forehead. “She’s asking for answers. I just don’t want to mess up how I give them. That’s why I’ve called. Before I reply to her, I want to know how much or how little I can give.”
“You’re allowed to answer her. If you’re comfortable, respond in whatever way feels most genuine to you. Be honest but keep it age-appropriate. She’s testing the waters. This is her way of seeing if she can trust you.”
Emma nodded slowly. “I can do that. I just want to make sure I get it right. I don’t want her to ever feel like I’m brushing her off. I fear the longer I go without responding, the more likely she is to feel as though I’m avoiding her.”
“From what I know about you, I don’t think you’re capable of brushing her off. You’ve done everything right so far, and now that there’s an opening, you’re worried about putting a foot wrong. I can assure you, Freya wants to know the truth. Who better to give her it than you, her sister?”
Emma sank back in her seat with relief. “Thanks for putting my mind at rest. I guess I’m just terrified that saying the wrong thing will result in Carmen refusing me any time with her.”
“Carmen is…doing better with it all.”
That knowledge surprised Emma. The last two times they’d met, it had felt as though Carmen was capable of killing her with one glance.
To know she was potentially coming around to the idea of Emma being in Freya’s life meant Emma didn’t feel so scared moving forward.
“There’s something else, too. I wanted to ask if it’s appropriate for me to reach out to Carmen.
I was hoping I could sit down with her and discuss the next steps, maybe…
future plans. If Freya’s feeling up to it at some point, I’d like to take her out for dinner.
Just something simple, so we can talk without it being about school or netball. ”
“That’s a great idea,” Nia said after a brief pause.
“And yes, you can absolutely approach Carmen. Politely, of course. She’s Freya’s primary carer, so everything will go through her.
I’d recommend telling her exactly what you’ve just told me.
That you want to take things at Freya’s pace, and you’re not expecting anything before she’s ready. ”
“That’s the plan. Slow and no pressure.”
“Good. I’ll make a note in the case file that you’re open to more contact and that you’ll be speaking with Carmen about it.
Her number is in the documents I gave to you during the meeting.
I dropped you an email with all the relevant information included, too.
Carmen also has your number should she need it. ”
Before this call, Emma couldn’t have imagined Carmen ever needing her number. But now, she felt another glimmer of hope. She let out a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders. “Thank you, Nia. Really.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Nia said. “And Emma? The fact that Freya wrote such an honest email isn’t a bad sign. It means she wants to understand you. She wouldn’t bother asking if she didn’t care.”
“I know. I think the shock of finding all of this out will eventually settle down at some point. But right now, I still can’t believe I have a sister.”
“Well, you do, and I think the future looks promising.”
Emma closed her eyes and smiled. If someone on the outside believed it looked promising, maybe Emma should cling to that whenever things felt as though they were moving at a snail’s pace.
She had no reason to rush any of this, and as she’d told Nia, she would only engage in the things Freya was comfortable with.
“Thanks. I guess I have a call to make then. I just hope Carmen will at least consider meeting with me.”
“I think she may just surprise you.”
When they ended the call, Emma sat in the quiet of the office and absorbed Nia’s words. Her confidence in all of this, too. She could almost hear Vanessa’s voice in her head, echoing the same reassurance.
Don’t let the heartbreak stop you from seeing what’s in front of you.
And so, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.
She was someone’s big sister, and Emma was ready for anything that came.
The car park was almost empty as Emma sat in the driver’s seat with the engine off, her bag tossed into the passenger footwell.
She’d been sitting there for twenty minutes now, her phone in her hand, turning it over and over like it might just give her the courage she needed if she kept touching it for long enough.
The call to Nia had left her with more clarity, but clarity didn’t make this next step any easier. Carmen had managed to be civil since they’d met—just about—but Emma knew civility didn’t always mean comfort. And this conversation was going to demand both.
Her thumb hovered over Carmen’s contact number.
She’d thought about leaving it until tomorrow.
Then she thought about Freya’s email again, about the questions she’d asked and the truths she deserved, and tomorrow felt like a cop-out.
She wanted to get this over and done with now so she could finally respond to Freya’s email.
Before she could change her mind, Emma hit the call button and pressed the phone to her ear.
It rang twice.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Carmen. It’s Emma.” She cleared her throat. “Emma Hughes, or as Freya knows me…Bradley.”
There was a small pause, but it wasn’t anything she didn’t expect. “Hi. Is everything alright?”
“Yes, everything’s fine.” Emma adjusted her grip on the phone, watching the wind ruffle the bare branches beyond the bonnet of her car. “I just wanted to see if you would be open to meeting for a coffee sometime soon. Nothing formal. Just you and me, somewhere neutral.”
There was another pause, and Emma felt her shoulders tighten ever so slightly.
“Can I…ask what for?” Carmen said carefully.
“To talk about Freya, about what she’s asked me in her email, and…
about where we go from here. I think it would help to find some common ground, so that whatever happens, Freya feels like we’re all on the same page.
” She let out a slow breath. “I’m not expecting anything overnight.
I know this is all new for her. I just think that it would be helpful for us to be able to talk without it feeling like a stand-off. ”
When Carmen spoke again, there was a hint of something softer in her tone. “Alright. I think that’s a good idea.”
Emma frowned, not expecting that response or for it to be so easy to come by. “Really?”
“Yes. How is tomorrow for you?”
Oh. That soon. Even though Emma hoped it would be sooner rather than later, she hadn’t expected tomorrow. “I can meet at the coffee shop on the high street straight from work. Given the traffic lately, how does four sound to you?”
“That’s no problem for me. Ben is out at football trials with Freya tomorrow straight from school anyway.”
A potential footballer. Emma could only smile. “That’s great that she’s keeping her options open with sport. She’s a natural when it comes to netball.”
“So she keeps telling me.” Carmen laughed. “She mentioned this morning that she’d replied to your email, but you hadn’t wrote back yet.”
“Yeah, I um…I kinda wanted to meet with you before I replied. The email was pretty heavy, and I’m not sure how much you want me to give her in my response.”
“Be honest with her. I know what the email says, and I believe she wants answers. If you’re able to provide them, I think it’ll put her mind at rest.”
Emma could do that. If she had to be entirely honest with Freya, she would.
She never wanted her sister to think she’d hated her.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Then I’ll drop her a quick line this evening explaining that I’ll write back in full within the next couple of days.
I don’t want to rush my response to her, so I hope she’ll understand that. ”
“She’ll understand. I’ll speak to her when I’m home from work and explain the situation. I’m now beginning to realise that this is just as difficult for you as it is for her.”