Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Emma stirred her cereal absently, watching the loops soften in the milk until they blurred together. The spoon clinked against the side of the bowl, a sound she’d made a thousand times before, but this morning it grated on her, sharp and loud in the quietness of the kitchen.
Her laptop sat closed on the counter, the email she’d written still pressing down firmly on her chest. Somewhere out there, Freya could be reading it right now. Over breakfast, on the bus to school, maybe even before brushing her teeth. That thought alone made Emma’s stomach lurch.
She rested her elbow on the table and pressed her forehead to her hand. “I think I said too much.”
“Stop.” Vanessa set her cup of coffee down and slid into the chair opposite. She was still in her robe, with her hair pushed up in a messy knot, bare-faced and beautiful. “You didn’t say too much. You said what needed to be said.”
“Babe.”
“No. You didn’t sleep at all last night. You cannot go through today worrying, Emma. This isn’t healthy. Freya has asked you for answers and you’ve given them.”
Emma glanced up, her spoon dangling from her fingers. “Once I know everything is okay, I’ll be okay. I’m just worried I’m going to scare her off, that’s all. All of this…it’s a lot for a twelve-year-old to process.”
Vanessa leaned forward and took Emma’s hand from across the table. “She practically begged you to let her know that she hadn’t been hated all this time. You gave her the one thing she’s been waiting to hear. Trust her to take it in.”
Emma knew why she was worrying. She knew why she’d tossed and turned all night.
Because she would see Freya today. She chewed her lip, unable to stop the restless tap of her foot against the tiled floor.
“I’ve got her for second period today. I don’t know how I’m supposed to stand there in front of her and teach netball like normal. ”
“You’re going to do what you always do.” Vanessa’s reassuring smile settled Emma a little. “You’ll show up, you’ll teach, and you’ll encourage her. If she gives you the smallest sign, just a look or a smile, then you’ll know she read it. You’ll know she heard you.”
Emma blew out a breath and dropped the spoon into her cereal. She didn’t know why she’d bothered to try with breakfast; she wasn’t even hungry. She pushed the bowl aside and reached for her coffee instead. The warmth seeped into her palms, grounding her, but her heart was still beating erratically.
“Do you think she’ll say something to me?” Emma asked. “I mean, she seems to understand that school isn’t really the appropriate place to discuss all of this, but if she’s angry with me, she could blurt anything out in front of the other kids.”
“I don’t know why you’re so sure that she’ll be scared off or angry with you, but no, I don’t think Freya has it in her to tell everyone about your relationship.
She’s like you in that way.” Vanessa helped herself to a piece of toast and slathered butter over it.
“And as for taking you to one side and saying something to you, maybe that won’t happen today, but I’m sure she will when she’s ready to.
” Vanessa regarded her with a smile before standing and pressing a quick kiss to the top of Emma’s head.
“You’ve done your part, baby. Now, we wait. ”
Emma closed her eyes and gave Vanessa’s words a moment to sink in. She wanted to believe them. She needed to believe them. But Emma’s mind naturally went to the worst-case scenario. Another thing she could thank her useless parents for.
But then she flipped everything she was feeling on its head and smiled as she slipped her trainers on and reached for her rucksack. Freya may well feel wary today, but she may also finally look at Emma for the first time…knowing exactly how Emma felt about her.
“Babe!” Emma called up the stairs. “I’m heading off. I’ll get half an hour in the gym if I leave now. Burn some of this nervous energy off, you know?”
Vanessa appeared at the top of the stairs, tucking her blouse into her skirt. “Okay. Drive safe, and if you feel yourself spiralling, call me.”
“I will.”
“Lunch together?” Vanessa asked, brow quirked.
“Yeah. Let’s aim for lunch together and hope nothing fucks that up.” Emma shot up the stairs, a hand laid on Vanessa’s hip as she leaned in and kissed her. “I love you. I’ll see you later.”
“I love you, too.”
The squeak of trainers on the varnished floor bounced off the walls of the sports hall, the kind of noise Emma usually thrived on.
But today, her ears were too tuned in to just one sound.
Freya’s voice amongst the others. She had spent the last thirty minutes trying to pin her tone and her mood, but so far, Emma had come up blank.
Her year 8 group had spilled in, balls thudding against the walls, ponytails swishing, water bottles clattering to the floor as they’d taken their places, and as Emma had clapped her hands to draw them in, her eyes had landed on Freya instantly.
She had arrived in the middle of a group of three—chatting with ease and no signs of nerves—but that didn’t dull the terror Emma had felt inside as her class had arrived.
Their eyes had met only once so far. It had barely been a second between them, but it had happened.
The first thing Emma had noted was the spark, the…
recognition, and it wasn’t just teacher to student.
No, it had been sister to sister. Freya’s face seemed softer, her gaze less apprehensive than usual, and it was in that exact moment that she’d known Freya had read her email… and she wasn’t shying away from it.
Emma cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice as even as possible. One hint of the nerves still sparking away inside of her, and Freya would pick up on it. “Alright, folks. Time for another run and then some passing exercises before we end today with a quick match. Slow laps. Off you go.”
Her group of students scattered into a jog, low murmurs following them as they went.
Freya stayed close to her friends, laughing at something one of them said, but then her eyes landed on Emma, a mere glance across the hall again.
It wasn’t long, and it wasn’t enough for anyone else to notice, but it was enough for Emma to feel it.
By the time they’d lapped the hall five times and eventually circled back on the final leg, Emma had set up a few short passing drills.
She gave them instructions and demonstrated with another pupil, ensuring her tone was light and professional as always.
She couldn’t risk singling Freya out. She couldn’t risk drawing attention to what felt different now.
But she didn’t need to. Freya was different all on her own.
Where she used to hang back a little—quieter than the rest—today she stepped forward first. She took the ball without hesitation and called out to her partner confidently, her smile wide and almost as though she was proud of herself. It was something Emma hadn’t seen from her before.
Her throat instantly tightened.
Was this all Freya had ever needed? Someone who would tell her they were happy she was in their lives?
Someone who wanted to build a relationship with her that was a blood relative?
Emma knew all too well how little the Fields and the Bradleys cared for one another, and while most of her hoped that Freya hadn’t been shunned by them the way Emma had been, she knew the truth.
Those families had no idea what it meant to be there for one another.
Now isn’t the time to be in your head!
She made her way around the pairs, correcting hand positions and encouraging faster passes. When she reached Freya, she slowed a little. “That’s it. Nice and strong,” Emma said, keeping her tone even, the way she would with any pupil. “Keep that follow-through.”
Freya nodded, her cheeks a little pink and her gaze lingering for a moment longer than it usually would. Only this time, she wasn’t searching for approval. No, she was accepting it. Receiving it.
And God, it was everything Emma had hoped for.
The last of the lesson blurred in a haze of whistles and shouts, the steady rhythm of netball moving as it always did. But under it all, Emma could feel it. The subtle shift. Freya wasn’t just another face in her class anymore. She wasn’t looking at Emma as ‘Miss.’ Not today.
When Emma blew the final whistle, her pupils gathered their water bottles, giggling with one another as they filed out. Freya followed with her friends, but just before she disappeared through the doors, she glanced back with a beaming smile.
And then she was gone.
Emma stood in the middle of the empty sports hall, her heart pounding and her hand still wrapped around the whistle at her chest.
She thought today would end in disaster, and she would be terrified of the email response she would eventually receive from Freya, but instead, the opposite had happened.
Today, Emma felt accepted.
Emma locked the P.E. office and slung her bag over her shoulder, the keys gripped tight in her hand so she didn’t lose them like she had once before.
Okay, it was actually three times, but she wasn’t counting.
Vanessa was, though. Emma smiled to herself at the mere thought of Vanessa.
Those blue eyes and long lashes, that silky blonde hair, and the world’s sexiest collarbones.
God, she was one lucky woman…and even though she was shattered today, Emma couldn’t wait to get home and hold her for the rest of the night.
She turned down the long corridor that led away from the P.E. department and towards reception and the front doors. Just another minute and she would be outside in the fresh air. Though, judging by the temperatures this morning, it would be very fresh air by now.
“Emma!”