Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Emma tugged her scarf tight around her neck, her fingers curled around a paper cup of mulled wine while she milled about the Christmas market. Freya shuffled along beside her with a hot chocolate, both hands cupped around it, marshmallows already melting into a sticky swirl on top.
The market lights twinkled overhead, strung across the rows of wooden stalls where vendors sold everything from handmade decorations to overpriced fudge.
A brass band in the square struck up another carol, and Emma had to laugh when Freya turned to her and muttered, “If I hear Jingle Bells one more time, I might scream.”
“Not a fan?” Emma asked as she drew in an icy breath.
“Not when it’s the fiftieth version I’ve heard this week,” Freya rolled her eyes playfully. “How many versions do we actually need?”
Emma smiled back, and she felt it. That now familiar rush every time she caught a glimpse of herself in Freya. The same dark hair, the same quick wit, the same way sarcasm softened into shyness at unexpected moments. “Well, by your count, we clearly need fifty versions of it.”
They paused by a stall selling warm sugared donuts, the smell so tempting that Emma caved and bought a small bag. She passed one to Freya, who instantly took a bite and covered half of her face in sugar.
“Oh, my God! That’s so good.” Freya just about managed those words since she’d shoved the remaining three-quarters of it into her mouth. “I’ve never had those before.”
“They’re something I only treat myself to at this time of year. I’d be forever at the dentist if I ate them all year round.” Emma licked her fingers and turned to Freya as they reached an empty bench. “So, just three days to go. Are you ready for Christmas dinner at ours?”
Freya grinned as she sat down. “Yeah. I can’t wait. What food will we be having?”
“Oh, the works!” Emma waved a hand between them. “Turkey, gammon, beef, roasties…so many roasties, pigs in blankets, sprouts. You name it, we’re having it.”
“Ben loves sprouts. Don’t tell him I said this, but he’ll probably eat them all before anyone else gets the chance.”
Emma laughed. “Good to know. I’ll make extra.”
“And Carmen…” Freya thought for a moment, her breath fogging in the air. “She usually makes red cabbage. She’ll probably want to bring it. She thinks it’s not Christmas without it.”
“That would be perfect,” Emma said, her heart squeezing at how natural this was. Planning a meal together. Talking about food like a family. “I’ll ask her. And if there’s anything else you want, you just tell me, okay?”
Freya tilted her head, considering Emma’s words for a moment. “Yorkshire puddings. With gravy.”
Emma grinned. “Just because it’s you, I’ll make homemade ones.
Even if it kills me.” As she checked her watch, Emma realised they’d been at the markets longer than they’d planned to.
They didn’t have a set time or a schedule to work with, but she didn’t want to overstep or push when it came to spending time alone with Freya. “We’d better head off. You ready?”
“Yep.”
They walked towards the exit, weaving through the crowd until the noise dulled. Emma watched Freya carefully sip her hot chocolate, a marshmallow moustache forming on her top lip.
“Hey, Emma?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I wear matching pyjamas with you on Christmas night? Like…after dinner. When we’re all stuffed and watching telly?”
Emma stopped dead, her heart stuttering. She stared down at Freya, who suddenly looked nervous at her own question.
“I just thought…” Freya fiddled with the sleeve of her coat. “I’ve never done that before. And you and Vanessa always look so cosy together at home. I’d like to be part of that.”
Emma blinked repeatedly, her vision blurring with tears she refused to let spill in the middle of the market.
She crouched down slightly, resting a hand on Freya’s arm.
“Freya, you don’t ever have to ask. Of course you can.
Matching pyjamas, hot chocolate, and terrible Christmas films. I want all of that with you. ”
Freya’s grin spread slowly. “Even the terrible films?”
“Especially the terrible films,” Emma laughed. “Though I should probably warn you that I cry at most of them.”
“I already knew that.”
Emma narrowed her eyes. “Did Vanessa tell you?”
“She didn’t have to. I saw you at the cinema last week, pretending you weren’t crying when the dog got sick in the film.”
Emma sighed. “Betrayed by my own tears.”
“I don’t care if you cry at films.” Freya nudged Emma gently with her elbow. “It’s better to cry than hold it in.”
Emma straightened again, her throat thick with emotion. “Then it’s settled. Matching pyjamas and a film.”
Freya beamed a smile as she gazed up at Emma. “Best. Christmas. Ever.”
As they made their way out of the market and onto the high street, Emma could only agree. This year was certainly shaping up to be the best yet. “And so many more of them to come.”
The drive back to Carmen and Ben’s was filled with the kind of conversation Emma never thought she’d be a part of.
Freya had talked non-stop about the market…
well, about how many marshmallows she’d managed to cram into her hot chocolate, proud of herself for eating so many.
They’d joked about anything that came to mind, and Emma had laughed until her sides hurt.
Tonight, looking at the kid in her passenger seat, Emma truly felt like a big sister.
When they pulled onto the drive, Freya’s energy shifted into a quieter kind of excitement. “Thanks for today,” she said, fiddling with the zip on her coat. “It was really fun.”
“I had fun, too.” Emma swallowed past the lump in her throat. The emotion every time Freya thanked her for something would lessen over time, but right now, it seemed it was here to stay. “You just call me whenever you want to do something again, okay?”
Freya grinned. “Okay.”
The front door opened before they’d even reached it. Carmen stood there with her arms folded, a scarf still looped loosely around her neck. “Well, look who it is. Just in time, too!”
Freya breezed past Carmen with a quick, “Hiya!” before disappearing into the warmth of the house. Emma hesitated on the step, her nerves almost getting the better of her. “Sorry about the time. I didn’t realise how long we’d been gone.”
“Come in,” Carmen said, surprising Emma. “You’ll freeze out there.”
Emma stepped inside, the scent of baking surrounding her. She unwound her scarf, awkwardly glancing around, until Ben appeared from the kitchen with two mugs in hand.
“Oh, hi, Emma,” he said, offering one. “Hot chocolate? Freya said it’s tradition now.”
Emma accepted it with a small laugh. “Seems like she’s right. Thank you.”
They moved into the living room, where Freya was already on the couch, tugging off her boots and launching into a recap of the market for Carmen and Ben. Emma sat on the edge of an armchair, listening, her hands warming around the mug.
“So,” Carmen began. “I guess Christmas markets are your new thing each year then…”
“I really hope so. Emma bought us sugared donuts, and they were so good. I’ll have to buy you some with my pocket money next time we’re at the seaside. Emma says they sell them there, too.”
“I’d like that.” Carmen tweaked Freya’s nose, then turned to Emma. “Did she behave herself for you?”
“Oh, yeah. No bother at all.” Emma sipped her hot chocolate and winked in Freya’s direction. “Even with all the sugar she consumed.”
Ben settled onto the couch beside Freya and nudged her. “She does have a sweet tooth.”
“Mm. Same here.” Emma’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She quickly took it out, smiling when she saw a message from Vanessa. She would reply to it once she was back in the car. “Freya mentioned that you’re the master when it comes to red cabbage, Carmen.”
“I… Yes. I wanted to offer to bring it, but I didn’t want you to feel obliged to say yes.” Carmen dipped her gaze to the coffee table. “Is there anything at all we can bring?”
“Other than yourself, I’m going to say yes to the red cabbage.”
“With or without shredded apple?”
Emma turned her attention to Freya. “What do you think, kiddo? Apple or not?”
“Apple. It tastes really good with apple.”
“Then it’s decided. Red cabbage with apple shall be added to the menu.” Emma finished her hot chocolate, licking her lips as she lowered it and smiled. “I should head off before my wife thinks I’ve been kidnapped.”
“Oh! Wait one minute, please. I had something to show you.” Freya darted upstairs before Emma had the chance to respond.
When the coast was clear, Emma looked between Carmen and Ben. “I just wanted to say thanks for agreeing to come over for Christmas. It really does mean a lot.”
Ben leaned forward, lowering his hot chocolate to the coffee table and resting his elbows on his knees. “She’s been buzzing about it since you asked. She keeps telling us she finally has a ‘proper’ family like her friends at school.”
Emma’s heart clenched at that. “I want her to feel like she has a family around her. I want her to know she belongs with all of us. Always.”
Carmen’s expression softened further. “She’s beginning to feel it. I know she is.”
“Good. That’s all I can ask for. I didn’t think we’d be this far along when it came to progress, but you’ve both done a great job with her, and she’s a pleasure to spend time with.
Really.” Emma rose to her feet and draped her scarf around her neck.
“Do either of you have any allergies I should know about?”
“No, nothing,” Ben said, “But I was wondering how you’re fixed for gravy? I’d be happy to step up in that department.”
Emma laughed with relief. “Vanessa will be thrilled to hand the gravy over to someone else. My wife is the calmest person I know, especially when things are a bit hectic, but Christmas gravy…” Emma shook her head. “I swear she’s possessed.”
Freya came flying back down the stairs, waving a set of folded tartan pyjamas with a grin. “What do you think?”