Chapter 35 #2
Emma’s throat tightened as she slowly lowered herself into a seat at the dining table. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay. The three of us are stronger than we likely thought growing up, right?”
Emma smiled as she nodded. “Absolutely right.”
“Thank you for the invitation.”
“That’s okay. I just thought that Freya has been spending time with us, and she seems to enjoy it, so I’d really like to spend Christmas with her. With all of you.”
“I’ll run it by Ben and Freya, but I don’t see it being a problem. We don’t have any plans other than to be here at home.”
Emma closed her eyes, relief crashing through her so strongly that she had to steady herself by gripping the edge of the table. “I’d really appreciate it if you’d run it by them.”
“Freya deserves a great Christmas. I suspect that will be a done deal if she’s with you. God knows she doesn’t stop talking about you morning, noon, and night.”
Emma laughed. “Yeah, apparently I’m cool or something.”
“Mm. Who knew taking a kid to the arcade could give you the title of ‘best person that ever lived.’”
Vanessa came to stand beside Emma, a gentle, supportive hand pressed to her shoulder as she smiled.
“Thanks, Carmen. For being great and for considering Christmas dinner with us.”
“Oh, don’t thank me yet. You’ll be cooking for another three people.”
“I’m not worried.” Emma lifted a shoulder. “It’ll be worth it.”
“Right, well, I’ll have Freya call you once she’s made the decision. I don’t expect her to turn the invitation down, though.”
“Great. I’ll look forward to hearing from her.”
They ended the call, and Emma slumped back in her seat.
She didn’t know why these calls kept taking it out of her, but she felt exhausted by the few short minutes she’d spent talking to Carmen.
She looked up at Vanessa and sighed. “Carmen has just told me that she grew up in care, too. They’ve never been invited to Christmas dinner with anyone before. ”
Vanessa lifted her brows and exhaled slowly. “In that case, the moment she gives you the go-ahead, I’m going to have my work cut out making it as perfect as it can possibly be.”
“Babe.” Emma snorted. “You’ll be here, so it’s already going to be perfect.”
Mesmerised by the steady stirring of the sauce, Emma stood in the kitchen, one hip propped against the counter, the comfort of cooking easing some of the restlessness she’d been carrying since she’d called Carmen last night.
She didn’t expect a response immediately; Freya was probably hanging out with Alice or at one of her football training sessions, but it didn’t stop her from thinking the worst.
I don’t know when you started doing that, but it needs to stop.
Lost in thought, she jumped when her phone started to vibrate on the counter. She grabbed it quickly, nearly burning her wrist as she fumbled with the wooden spoon.
Freya.
Emma’s palms grew clammy, but she immediately answered. “Hey, you.”
“Hi, Emma.”
Even now, Freya still went into every interaction with Emma on the shy side of things. She understood, this was a huge adjustment for everyone, but she hoped to one day do this without either of them feeling as though they were putting the other out.
Emma beamed a smile. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Um, Carmen said you’d asked if we’d like to come to yours for Christmas dinner.”
Emma’s stomach flipped, but she held her nerve. Maybe if Freya noticed that Emma wasn’t apprehensive, it would rub off on her. “I did, yes.”
“I-I wanted to ring you and tell you that I’d like that.” When Freya’s voice brightened, Emma could almost picture her fidgeting with the cuff of her jumper. “Really like it.”
Emma pressed her palm flat against the counter to steady herself. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”
Freya gave a little laugh. “I do, and I believe you. You don’t lie to me like everyone else used to.” She hesitated, then said, “It feels really nice to be wanted somewhere.”
Emma blinked back the tears settling on her eyelashes and swallowed. “You are wanted, Freya. Always.”
“E-Emma, what would you like for Christmas?”
Emma froze, the wooden spoon clattering lightly against the edge of the pan. Nobody had ever asked her that in that way before. Not like this; not a sister and certainly not family.
She composed herself and closed her eyes. “Honestly? Having you here is the best present I could ever ask for.”
Freya giggled. “That’s so cheesy.”
“Oh, I know it is. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Emma lowered the hob and turned, pressing her back to the edge of the counter. “Presents are just things. They’re nice and all, but you being here with me at Christmas…that’s everything.”
“Okay. I’ll bring myself as your present.”
Emma pressed a hand to her chest, the ache almost too much to bear. “Thanks, sis.”
“You remembered and said it back!”
Oh, this child was going to be the death of her one of these days. Emma just knew it. “Of course I did. It’s hard to forget something like that.”
“Can I keep your number and text you now that I was allowed to call you?”
Emma chewed her lip, resuming her stirring of the sauce for dinner. “If Carmen and Ben say it’s okay, then of course you can. But you have to ask them first.”
“I will.” Freya sighed. “Okay, I have to go now. Ben is waiting to drive me to football training. But…I’ll see you soon.”
“I can’t wait,” Emma said softly, no longer terrified of telling Freya how she felt. “Good luck at training. Score a few goals, yeah?”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all anyone can ever expect.” Emma reached into the cupboard for the plates, smiling when Daisy yelled from the living room. “Bye, Freya.”
When the line went dead, Emma stood there, the spoon limp in her hand as tears slipped freely down her face. The sauce hissed and bubbled on the hob, forgotten, because all she could think about was that shy little voice asking what she wanted for Christmas.
Right now, Emma had everything she could ever want.
The murmur of Emma’s voice had carried from the kitchen for a few minutes, and Vanessa hadn’t missed the way her tone kept lifting, as though she couldn’t quite contain her smile.
It had to be Freya on the call to her, or Carmen at least. Vanessa knew the signs these days.
She was curled up on the couch with Lauren, who had Daisy sprawled half-asleep against her chest, a picture book slipping from her tiny fingers, but the moment Emma came into the room, her phone still clutched in her hand, Vanessa sat up straight instantly. “Was that Freya calling?”
“Yeah.” Emma looked at Daisy first, then at Lauren, her eyes bright and glassy when she eventually found Vanessa’s gaze. “She wants to come for Christmas dinner.”
Vanessa’s heart swelled as she rose to her feet, cupping her wife’s face the second she was close enough. “That’s amazing, baby.”
Lauren grinned. “She really said yes?”
“I was doing okay until she told me it was nice to feel wanted somewhere.” Emma’s voice cracked, but she shook her head and cleared the emotion from her throat. “I wasn’t expecting her to say that.”
Vanessa’s own throat burned as tears threatened. God, she wanted to wrap Freya up in a hug and never let her go. She wanted to wrap her up in the kind of love she’d clearly never had enough of. She eyed Lauren, who looked just as moved, and smiled. “She feels safe with you. That’s why she said it.”
“Em, this is the best Christmas present you could ever have!” Lauren gently lay Daisy down against a cushion and stood. She wrapped her arms around her best friend, holding on tight. “I’m so happy for you.”
Emma nodded as she drew back, unable to fight the tears. “That’s what I told her. That her being here is all I want.”
Vanessa couldn’t hold back any longer. She pulled Emma into her arms and pressed her lips to her hair. “This is going to be one of the best Christmases I can remember,” she whispered. “Not because of the food or the decorations, but because she’ll be here. With us.”
Emma’s body shook as she sobbed against Vanessa’s chest. “I never thought I’d get this.”
“And yet here we are.” Vanessa pulled back and met her wife’s eyes, brushing a tear from her cheek as she did so. “She wants this, too, Emma. That’s what matters most. She chose you.”
Daisy stirred, letting out a little whine, but Lauren quickly stroked her hair to soothe her back to sleep. “You’re going to have the happiest little sister on Christmas Day, Em. I just know it.”
“I think this calls for a cup of tea.” Vanessa stood back, pride, hope, and love tangled together inside her. “And then it’s time to start planning.”