Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Luca
T here were no handcuffs this time.
I sat in the interrogation room, my hands free. I wasn’t complaining. Maybe this was because of my lawyers? When I met with them yesterday, they intended to press the GDF to charge me or release me. This judicial purgatory was bullshit.
At least Valentina was safe. I instructed Sergio to keep her in Catanzaro at the compound until my situation was resolved. I didn’t want her back in New York or in Roma. My brothers would watch over her, protect her.
Would I ever see her again? Our last encounter, with me pretending to barely know her, wasn’t how I wanted her to remember me. No doubt she was still angry and I wish I had the ability to explain.
I wish I could tell her how every minute without her was like a chain around my soul, trapping me, dragging me down. How I would do it all differently, if I could. But life doesn’t give us the ability to go back and right the wrongs done to those we love .
I loved her and I might never have the chance to prove it.
The door flew open. Palmieri walked through, his suit again rumpled, the circles under his eyes considerably worse. He shut the door and came toward the table where I sat.
“You look like shit,” I said.
“Some of us work for a living.” He didn’t sit, but continued to stand next to me. “You should try it sometime.”
I gave him a bland look. “I’m a businessman. Of course I work.”
He shook his head at my comment, then gestured for me to stand. “Walk with me.”
Che cazzo? “Where?”
“Let’s go.”
Without waiting for me, he strode to the door and went out into the hall. I pushed up from the chair and followed, my long legs catching up immediately. He led me down several corridors until we reached a locked door. Seconds later, we were buzzed through and then again through another locked door. This was as close to freedom as I’d experienced in almost a week. I tried to keep calm. It might not mean anything.
Palmieri kept going.
At a desk, he retrieved his service weapon and phone. He signed a few papers, then continued out the door. I cast a quick glance at the desk guard, but he ignored me, returning to his paperwork. I trailed Palmieri past the other checkpoints until we reached the main entrance.
He walked out.
I followed.
The sun hit my face and I let out the breath I’d been holding for days. I didn’t know if I was free or this was a temporary reprieve, but I wasn’t wasting it. Closing my eyes, I inhaled and let the air out slowly, like I was cleaning out the prison air from my lungs.
Fuck, that was nice.
Palmieri was standing at a food truck off to the side of the prison entrance. I went over. He gave the owner a few Euros, then we moved off to the side slightly. I didn’t say anything. A few minutes later Palmieri handed me a sandwich wrapped in crisp paper. “This way.”
He pointed to a small area with benches behind the food truck. It was visible to the prison, but not close enough to be overheard.
We sat. I unwrapped the sandwich, which was porchetta di ariccia . Boneless pork roll seasoned with garlic and rosemary. “Grazie,” I said before taking a bite.
He began eating, like he was content to drag this out, so I asked, “Did you do it?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You wouldn’t bring me out here alone if Rossi were still alive. So, congratulations.”
He exhaled heavily. “There is no satisfaction to be found in another man’s death, Benetti.”
I took a bite of my sandwich, swallowed. “Killing is sometimes necessary. You can’t dwell on the guilt. You avenged your daughter’s death and that is what matters.”
“This would be how you would see it.”
“It’s how anyone would see it, colonnello. Did he tell you why?”
“Retribution for his nephew’s conviction. He thought I was in the car. He didn’t realize my daughter was traveling with a nanny.”
Cristo santo. Rossi had tried to assassinate Palmieri, which was a bad idea in itself, and instead killed the officer’s daughter. I had no words. In my world, women and children were strictly off-limits. “There were reasons I could not help you. For that, I am sorry.”
“I know. Your brotherhood code, or whatever the fuck. But I appreciate the little you did, which is why I kept you inside, where you couldn’t meddle. No one will suspect you.”
He wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t already figured out. And with Rossi now out of the way, I had the chance to lead in southern Calabria. It was perfect. A few days in prison was worth taking the regional crown for my family. “I’m grateful. You could’ve been petty, considering our history.” Me, fucking his wife .
After another bite of his sandwich, he said, “She was trying to get my attention. We’d been drifting apart after our daughter’s death. It was grief that made her seek you out. I don’t blame her—or you.”
I couldn’t resist taking a jab. “Are you saying that I saved your marriage?”
“No, stronzo. We divorced.”
“Then why did you hit me?”
The edge of his mouth curled devilishly. “Because that is the least of what you deserve. Also, it made your arrest more believable.”
“It hurt like fuck.”
“Good.” He chewed for a few moments. “I am resigning.”
My head snapped over. “This is a mistake.”
“It’s done. I can’t pretend to uphold the law after this.”
Foolish, these “upstanding” men who think they are above the violence and pain of my world. “Do you think you are the first officer to break the law? If so, I have a long list of names to show you. And Rossi was a piece of shit.”
“I know, but here—” he put his hand on his heart “—is telling me I can’t go on as before. I want peace and I’ll never find it in this job. Mostly thanks to men like you.”
“Well, I won’t be resigning.”
“Which is why I must. I would hate to have to kill you, Benetti.”
As if he could. “So what will you do?”
“Travel. Stay in a little house near the ocean. Sleep late. Drink wine.” He crumpled up the sandwich paper in his fist. “I plan to enjoy the rest of the time I have on this earth. You should try it.”
I stared unseeingly at the parking lot, the rows of cars blurring together, as I absorbed these words. “What makes you think I’m not?”
“Because I know more about your life than you can imagine. You stayed much longer in New York than necessary because of her. And even as badly you treated her in New York, she still bargained for your freedom. She came here to fight for you.”
My stomach cramped at the idea of Valentina inside this prison, meeting with Palmieri. What had she been thinking? “Why do you assume I treated her badly?”
“Because she’s angry. There were no tears, no heartfelt pleas on your behalf. She was cool and logical, never bemoaning your innocence. And when I warned her about you, she looked annoyed instead of defiant.”
“And what was this warning?”
“That your world swallows women whole.”
It wasn’t wrong, but I wouldn’t do that. As long as Val remained on the compound, she could do as she wished. The house was well-fortified and luxurious. Who wouldn’t want to live there? And we would be safe there together. I was nearly salivating at having her so close all the time. Fucking on my bed, in my office. Out by the pool. In the woods. There was no limit to the places I would have her on my estate.
I stood and brushed the crumbs from my chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rising, he chuckled, but it was dry. “Yeah, sure. You’ll probably fuck it up anyway. Men like us aren’t meant for relationships.” He started toward the bin and tossed the paper in it. “Have a nice life, Benetti.”
Valentina
Italians knew how to live well.
Sitting on the warm stone, I dangled my feet in the cool water of Luca’s infinity pool. The view from up here was spectacular. The countryside stretched out around and below the house, with the sea sparkling in the distance. Hot pink outdoor chaises edged the pool in front of reflective glass windows, while flowers and plants lined the terrace. It was a Mediterranean paradise under bright sunshine, and the whole scene made me crave a mai tai. Any drink with an umbrella, actually.
I heard a door slide open and footsteps scuffed on the smooth stone. I assumed it was Gabi, as he was the only Benetti currently speaking to me, so I turned my face toward the sun. “Hey, Gabi,” I greeted.
“Not quite,” a deep voice said. “Here.”
Leo, Luca’s oldest son, was holding a frozen drink with an umbrella in it. As he sat the glass on the ground next to me, I shaded my eyes from the sun to study him. “Are you a mind reader?”
“No.” He lowered himself to the edge of the pool and slipped his feet in. “But I know it gets hot out here.”
“Is it poisoned?”
“No,” he answered with all seriousness.
That was good enough for me. I lifted the glass and took a long sip of the cool drink. Orange and strawberry with a kick. “Yum. What is this?”
“A frozen Aperol spritz. We haven’t officially met. I’m Leo.” He put his hand out and we shook.
I could see the resemblance in his eyes, but he wasn’t a mini-Luca like Gabi. Leo’s face was thinner, more angular. His hair was lighter, as well. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Tell me, why would I poison you?”
“Because you and your family are still pissed at me for meeting with Colonel Palmieri yesterday.” I hadn’t been invited to dinner last night. Instead, Gabi brought food and we ate together in my room. The uncles hadn’t tried to stop me from wandering around today, though no one would answer me about when I could return to New York.
“I’m sorry for the way my uncles reacted, but we aren’t all pissed. I’m grateful for your help.”
“You are?”
“Yes, even though my father doesn’t want you mixed up in all of this. He called yesterday and yelled at Sergio for a long time. ”
“I’m already mixed up in this. I have been since the moment your father arrived in the States. And I don’t care if it made Luca mad. I had the ability to help him, so I did.”
“You are brave, signorina. Not many go against my father’s wishes.”
“Your father’s wishes don’t mean shit to me right now.” I was still angry and hurt, and being in his house, surrounded by his things, wasn’t making me feel better.
“But you care about him.”
Worse. I think I love him.
I sipped more of the frozen drink. “It doesn’t matter. I’m returning to New York as soon as possible.”
“You don’t plan to stay?”
This life swallows women whole.
I shuddered at the words. I had my own life in New York, a business. Friends. My mother’s things. I refused to get lured in by pink deck chairs and frozen cocktails. “No, I don’t.”
“This is too bad,” Leo said, swirling his feet through the water. “It’s obvious my father cares about you. I’ve never heard him so mad and worried before.”
“It doesn’t bother you?’
“What, that he cares about someone?”
“Someone who isn’t your mother. Someone not much older than you. Someone who isn’t Italian. None of that bothers you?”
Leo took a beat, his expression thoughtful. I could already tell he was the complete opposite of his brother, who said whatever was on his mind. Leo seemed more careful than Gabi. His personality was definitely closer to Luca’s.
Finally, Leo said, “First, my mother is happy with her husband. He’s a good man and takes care of her. I never had any dreams of my parents getting together. Second, I don’t care about your age if you make Luca happy. And why would I care that you’re American? I think American girls are hot. ”
“You sound like Gabi,” I said with a laugh. “Pretty sure he got more phone numbers in New York than his phone can hold.”
“I believe it. My brother said he enjoyed working at your restaurant.” He paused. “He also says our father is in love with you.”
You hold my heart and my soul, fiore mio. Per sempre.
A lump settled in my throat. If only that were true.
You didn’t lie to the people you loved, trick them and use them. Even if that was how our relationship started, with his plans to use me to find my father, Luca had plenty of chances to come clean. Yet, he kept lying. Kept watching for my father, ready to pounce.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, my feet gliding through the cool water. “It doesn’t matter. New York is my home. Your father lives here. The end.”
“Admit it.” He swept his hand out toward the Italian countryside. “This is better than New York.”
It was pretty damn nice. But it wasn’t home. Oh, and then there was the fact that I wasn’t ready to be a mafia girlfriend. “You haven’t seen the Hudson Valley,” I said. “Especially in the fall when the leaves change color. It’s so beautiful you want to cry. And a bonus? There’s no one blackmailing or murdering there.”
“Sure there isn’t,” he said under his breath.
The door opened again. Before I could see who it was, there were voices yelling in Italian. Leo straightened and immediately lifted his feet out of the pool. “What’s happening?” I asked as he dried off his legs with one of the beach towels. “Is something wrong?”
“My father is here.”
My body jerked, rocking me back slightly. “Here? He’s out of prison?”
“Scusa, signorina. I need to change.” Leo disappeared inside the house and I frowned. He’d been wearing a t-shirt and shorts, like me. Did Luca insist that his oldest son dress up every day?
I sipped my frozen Aperol Spritz and pushed those thoughts aside. Leo’s clothing was something else I didn’t understand about Luca’s life and probably never would .
Besides, I had bigger worries.
Luca was here . I hadn’t expected to see him again, at least not so soon. What was I going to say to him? Worse, what was he going to say to me?
My chest expanded with a strange sensation that I suspected was both anticipation and dread. Was I going to hug him or kick him in the balls? I wasn’t ready. And I wanted to go home.
I wasn’t his mistress or his girlfriend. I was just the woman he’d manipulated for his own ends. Luca was everything my mother warned me about, yet I’d gone along with him willingly, too naive to question what was happening.
I swirled my legs in the water and finished the drink. Being heartbroken sucked. I needed this feeling to go away. I needed to forget about Luca and bury myself in work at the trattoria.
Maybe we should add a frozen Aperol Spritz to the menu?
“Would you like to swim?”
The sound of his deep voice sent a deluge of longing through me, a flood of memories I wished I could forget. I blinked but didn’t look over. “No.”
He lowered himself to the stone beside me and began rolling the cuffs of his trousers. I peeked at his hands, the movements sure and swift. I loved those hands. I missed those hands.
He dipped his legs into the water one at a time. “Why not? I’m sure there is an extra suit somewhere.”
“This isn’t a vacation, Luca. I want to go home.”
“Forgive me. I saw the empty cocktail glass and thought otherwise.”
My mouth flattened as I ground my back teeth together. “You’re a dick.” I started to get up, but he grabbed my arm.
“Wait, per favore. I . . . ” He heaved a heavy sigh. “Please, listen. I have much to say. I’m sorry, Valentina. For everything. I never should have used you to find your father.”
“It’s not that. It’s that you kept using me even after we started sleeping together. ”
“I know, and I’m sorry, amore.”
I kicked my feet and watched the ripples in the water. “Why not tell me, then? Why go on letting me think it was real.”
“Because it was real.” Leaning over, he put his forehead against my temple. “My soul aches for you. I am like the dirt surrounding us, dry and lifeless, and you are the water bringing me back to life. Fiore mio, my beautiful flower. You make everything better—you make me better. I am nothing without you.”
Tears spilled over my lashes, tracking down my cheeks. I wiped them, but they kept coming. “God, Luca.”
Luca wrapped an arm around me and brought me closer. “Don’t cry, bella. I know I’ve hurt you. Let me make it up to you.”
“I’m not sure you can. Even if I were willing to forgive you, what would be the point?”
“The point is to be together.” He kissed the top of my head, then pressed his face into my hair. “ Ti amo , Valentina.”
The words were like a punch to the gut. I’d wanted to hear them for so long, but it no longer mattered. He was an Italian mob boss with a giant rock house and pink pool chairs. I lived in a tiny town where we didn’t lock our houses at night. For god’s sake, I scrubbed toilets and bought clothes from mobile apps. There wasn’t a way in hell this added up.
“I have never said those words to a woman in my life,” he continued softly. “Because I never found one who I wished to marry before.”
My chest cracked, the pain ripping through me. God, when would this agony stop? “Don’t.”
“I can’t. Marry me, stay here with me. Let me make you happy every single day with orgasms and purses and chicken parm. Babies. Whatever you desire, amore mio. I need you by my side.”
“Luca . . . ” I said shakily. I hadn’t expected this from him and I had no defenses in place against his onslaught. “I can’t stay here. I have a life, a business. I’m not cut out to be a mafia wife, sequestered up here in the hills with nothing to do all day.”
His body stiffened against mine and his arm dropped from my shoulder. “This is where I live, the land on which generations of Don Benettis have lived. It isn’t safe for me to stay anywhere else.”
“You lived in Paesano,” I couldn’t help but point out.
“For a short time, yes. But I can’t permanently run an empire there.”
I rubbed at the tears, trying to stem their descent. We were quiet for several minutes, both of us unmoving.
“You are asking me to give it up,” he said softly. “Which I cannot do.”
“I’m not asking that. I know you won’t.”
“It’s not a question of whether I will or won’t. I’m telling you I can’t. Only death passes on the title to another.”
So that was that. There wasn’t more to discuss, really. We both knew where the other stood. No doubt it seemed unreasonable to him that I refused to move here. After all, the estate was gorgeous and I’d want for nothing.
But I couldn’t leave Paesano. I’d lost my mother too recently, her house and restaurant my only ties to her. I wasn’t looking for a fresh start on the other side of the globe.
“Do you love me?” he asked.
I didn’t know how to answer. Telling him the truth only made things worse. Yet I couldn’t keep it from him. He deserved to know. “I think I fell in love with you the night you made me dinner.”
He cupped my neck and angled me toward him. His gaze was soft but troubled as he studied me. “Valentina, I promise to give you the world if you let me.”
The knot in my stomach twisted, my insides squeezing with misery. I liked problems with easy solutions, but there was no solution here. We were just two people who lived in different places and couldn’t make it work.
I fought back the tears threatening to start again as I put my hand on his jaw. “I don’t want the world. I have everything I need back home—except for one thing. And he can’t stay there. ”
“Please, I am begging you to reconsider. Stay and see if you like it.”
He wasn’t listening. This wasn’t a pair of boots to try on and return if they didn’t fit. This was moving across the globe and leaving everything I knew behind. I couldn’t do it.
“I can’t. My answer won’t change and we are delaying the inevitable.” I leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “And unless you’re planning to hold me hostage here forever, then you have to let me go.”
He swallowed loudly, then eased out of my reach. With a graceful push, he stood and adjusted the cuffs of his trousers, not caring that water soaked through the cloth. “Allora,” he said softly. “I’ll have Gabi fly you home.”
Without a backward glance, Luca strode to the sliding door and disappeared inside the house.