Chapter 23 Enough For Now #2
In his childhood room, Bryce dropped their bags on the bed and plopped down beside them with a sigh. Zef hovered on the threshold, and he waved them inside.
“You can come in.”
They did, investigating his space as they had the living room. His science trophies. His 4-H county fair ribbons. Even the chess championship cup he’d won junior year.
Next, they traced the spines of the many books on his bookshelf, their lips forming the titles without speaking them. They picked up the picture frame with Charlie and Bryce as teenagers, in their cowboy hats and boots.
“You look alike.”
“Yeah, we’re only thirteen months apart. Drove my mom batty when we were kids, but we were pretty close growing up.”
“You are not close anymore?”
“He moved away when I was twenty, and we just don’t talk much, I guess. He fell in with the wrong crowd.” They whistled in question, and he shrugged. “Red hat, red pill. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”
They set the picture back in place. “I am sorry it causes you pain.”
“Sometimes, people change and it ain’t for the good.”
“Yes, and that is painful. To grieve what once was and what could have been.” They came to a stop in front of him and he parted his knees automatically so they could stand between them. Framing his face with a feather-light touch, they stared down at him. “I am sorry you miss him.”
“Me too.”
“Would you like a hug?” they asked, and hot affection burned through his chest.
“I always wanna hug you.”
With a sassy eyeroll, they wrapped their arms around his neck and shoulders, guiding him in until his face was cushioned on their stomach.
He hugged them back, hooking his hands on their lower back above their waistband.
They smelled like tea leaves and homemade soap and diesel from the truck, and he nuzzled their belly and drank them in.
Long fingers carted through his hair, and he nearly groaned in bliss.
He loved the way they touched him, even more so given how it wasn’t their first inclination.
They weren’t tactile the way he was, and even when they initiated physical closeness, it was usually a hand-hold or a knock of the shoulders.
Yet, they still offered hugs, knowing how much he liked them.
“You’re amazing,” he mumbled into their shirt.
“I am simply who I am,” they said dismissively, petting the back of his neck.
Lifting his head, he propped his chin on their tummy and gazed up at them. “I know, and I am in awe of you.”
Stricken, like the sentiment had hurt, they swallowed thickly, cupping his face again. They petted his beard as they shook their head, a series of whirs bubbling up their throat. Then they leaned down and pressed their mouth to his forehead.
They didn’t pucker their lips, but it was a kiss all the same. It had to be, judging from the way Bryce’s entire body ignited. He shuddered, tangling his fists in their shirt, and they thrummed as they turned their head, so it was their cheek, not their mouth pressed to his brow.
“Good or bad?” he asked, terrified of the answer.
It was Zef’s turn to shiver. “Good, I think.”
He did groan then, smothering the sound in their stomach. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
“Is that good or bad?”
He shrugged. “Both. Some things are both.”
“Bryce, stop necking with your paramour and get down here,” Nan barked from downstairs, effectively ruining the moment.
“Do I want to know what necking means?” Zef said as they released him and stepped back, pressing the back of their hand to their flushed face.
“Probably not.” Giving himself a moment to calm down, he pretended to dig through his bag until he found his toothbrush. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”
“And where I will sleep?” they asked.
“You’re sleeping here,” he said, patting the bed, and Zef’s eyes went wide.
“I beg your pardon?”
And okay, that stung a little, but Bryce pushed through it. “Not with me. I’ll be in the office on the air mattress.”
They sighed in relief, another sting, even as they shook their head. “No, I will sleep in the office. You should sleep in your bed.”
“You’re the guest—”
“No, you do not understand. I cannot sleep in your bed,” they insisted, fidgeting again.
“In my culture, you only share beds with those closest to you, like a life partner—barring extenuating circumstances like safety or absolute necessity, of course. To sleep side-by-side is the ultimate show of trust and intimacy. But even to sleep in your bed without you there, it would be… I would feel uncomfortable. I cannot. Do you understand?”
That explained their reaction when he’d sat on the edge of their bed after their fertility cycle, and why, even now, Zef remained standing instead of ever joining him on the bed. Even though all they were doing was talking.
“I understand,” he said, and the tension in their body loosened.
“Full disclosure, I’m good with sleeping in the same bed.
So if you ever want to, just know it’s okay with me.
” He stood and retrieved their bag, tossing it over his shoulder as he grazed his knuckle over the swell of their cheek. “It’d be nice to sleep next to you.”
They looked frightened at that, but they nodded all the same. “Thank you for your honesty and for your understanding.”
“I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping then.”
After Zef was situated in the office beside his bedroom, he gave them a full tour of the house, then the farm. Rascal and Stratus trailed them around the grounds, and Zef even braved a pat to Rascal’s head, which the dog ate up with enthusiasm.
The baby goats didn’t look like babies anymore, but Zef still cooed at them, laughing as they pranced around inside their pen. Their herd of cows were in the field, but Bryce pointed them out in the distance. They only had two horses, but Zef was very excited to meet them.
Walking through the pasture, Zef lifted their face to the sun and spread their wings wide.
They had the space for it, after all. Their wings were mostly see-through and a light green like their skin.
But when they caught the light just right, Bryce could see swirling designs and iridescent colors.
They were flat and layered, like a dragonfly, and his fingers itched to touch them.
The quarter horses watched their approach with interest, tails flicking at the flies buzzing around them.
Trinket was chocolate brown and pregnant as all get-out.
Sparrow was jet black with a white marking on his forehead.
He stamped his hoof in warning as they got closer, nostrils flaring as he eyed Zef suspiciously.
Trinket whinnied and lumbered over, her distended tummy swaying back and forth. Bryce put a hand on Zef’s arm to keep them still as he stepped forward, meeting Trinket as she whinnied again.
“Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling, girl?” She huffed and nudged at his raised hand. “Yeah, I bet you’re uncomfortable. Don’t worry. That baby’ll come soon.”
With a snort, she pawed at the ground, then stepped forward and pressed her head to his chest. He patted her neck soothingly, humming tunelessly under his breath as she settled. Her coat was shiny and freshly washed, and he knew her stall would have clean hay since she’d be foaling anytime.
“How about I give you a check?” Bryce said with a kiss between her ears.
Like Sparrow was jealous of the attention Trinket was getting, he trotted over, giving Zef a wide berth and knocked Bryce in the shoulder.
“Oh, now you’re okay saying hello?” He laughed and gave him some love too. “You both gonna be nice to Zef? They want to come meet you, but you better be on your best behavior.”
Pulling a carrot out of his back pocket, he walked back to Zef who was waiting where he’d left them. The horses trailed after, interested in the food. Bryce waved Zef forward, and they came, taking the carrot he offered.
“Go slow—” he tried to advise, but they were already waving him away.
“I remember from meeting Queen Charlotte,” they said confidently as they broke the carrot into several pieces. They extended two hands, a piece of carrot in each. “They will come to me when they are ready, and I am happy to wait. It is the Mantodean way.”
While the horses decided whether or not to approach Zef, Bryce gave Trinket a quick check. Her teats were swollen but not waxing yet, and a press to her rump near her tail showed how soft and loose she was. He lifted her tail with little resistance to check that her foal alert was in place.
“Well, that is rude,” Zef chided as they watched him inspecting her under her tail.
“I’m a doctor,” he said flatly.
“That is what they all say,” they teased.
After a good fifteen minutes, both horses were allowing Zef to pet them, and they whirred soothingly and fed them carrot pieces. They stroked Sparrow’s side as they gazed at the snowcap mountains in the distance.
“It is so beautiful here,” they said, and Bryce nodded.
“Yeah, it is.”
“I see why you want to stay here,” they said, and his hand on Trinket’s muzzle faltered.
At his quirked expression, they elaborated.
“Your five-year plan. To work for and eventually take over Mr. Morris’s practice.
To serve your community here and build a life and a home. I told you I would read it.”
“Right,” he said, having forgotten all about the portfolio.
They pet through Sparrow’s mane, picking out a burr and tossing it to the ground. “It is your calling. This place. These animals. Your family. You fit here.”
“So can you,” he wanted to say. Instead he said, “Anyone can fit here if they want to.”
Those large eyes lifted to his. “You think so?”
“Yes,” he said honestly, hopefully.
He liked the Pentagram, sure, and he was enjoying his time there. But living there? That had never been the plan. He had a life here, set up and ready for him to step into.
Which begged the question: what about them? What about Zef? He wanted them to fit in his plan, but how?
Like they were thinking the same thing, their hands stilled on Sparrow’s mane as they gazed into Bryce’s eyes. Their brows furrowed, and their antennas curled up and pressed flat to their forehead.
Then they smiled sadly. “You will do such great things here.”
“And you’ll be around to see them, right?” he asked, or maybe he was begging. For a scrap. For a crumb. For a tiny morsel of hope that, when his time in the Pentagram was done, it wouldn’t be the end for them.
“Do you want me to be?” they asked so softly he almost missed it.
“You know the answer to that, baby,” he said, and they severed eye contact, ducking their head bashfully.
Bryce waited them out as they braided Sparrow’s mane to keep their fingers busy, but eventually, they cleared their throat and said, “I suppose I can brave another plane ride.”
It wasn’t a solution or even a promise of forever, but it was something. For now, it was enough.
“Me too,” he offered back, and their wings fluttered.
“Oh?”
“Well, yeah, I gotta make sure you keep our courting plant alive,” he said, and Zef smiled then, full and brilliant.
“Yes. Yes, I suppose you must.”
Yeah, it was something, and it would be enough. For now.