Chapter 24 Worth Fighting For
Chapter twenty-four
Worth Fighting For
Zef
The human world was just as interesting and overwhelming as the previous time Zef had visited.
Everything felt big, and there was so much space.
From the porch of the house, they could see for miles in numerous directions.
In the distance, fields turned to forest, then forest turned to snow-capped mountains, and at night, the infinite sky stretched above them with its stars and its planets.
Zef had never felt so small or insignificant before.
Their first night in the human world, they had gone to bed early and fallen asleep immediately.
All the stress and anxiety from the traveling had thoroughly exhausted them.
But the next night, they had sat in the middle of the yard, Rascal and Stratus flanking them on either side, as they had gazed at the starry sky for hours.
Like Bryce had known their innermost thoughts, he had joined them, silently sitting behind them, thick legs bracketing them, and handed them an astronomy book. By the light of the singular moon and Bryce’s phone flashlight, they had read about constellations and gas giants and galaxies.
During the day, they helped around the farm, delighted to feed and water the animals. They enjoyed mucking out the stable stalls significantly less, but they had done it anyway, feet slotted into an extra pair of Bryce’s cowboy boots. They were too big, but Zef did not complain.
They attended Catholic mass with Bryce’s family on their first Sunday.
There had been much standing, sitting, and kneeling, but they had been enraptured by the stained glass windows and the Gothic architecture.
They had not taken part in communion—a symbolic, but cannibalistic, ritual—but they had enjoyed the hymns greatly.
On the Fourth of July, an important day to Americans, apparently, they had a barbecue outside, then attended the town’s fireworks show that night.
Because Bryce was everything lovely and considerate, he ensured Zef had a pair of noise-canceling headphones, so they could enjoy the display of colors without becoming overwhelmed.
They stood with Bryce behind them, his thick arms wrapped around their waist from behind, his chin on their shoulder.
A week into their stay, they drove into town with Bryce, staring out the window as they passed large department stores and little bodegas that Bryce called, “mom-and-pop shops.” He showed them the veterinary clinic he had worked before his stint in the Pentagram, and they had met Mr. Morris.
He was a short, balding man with large glasses and a kind smile, and he had graciously allowed Bryce to give them a tour.
“Can’t wait to get you back,” Mr. Morris said when they took their leave. “I forgot how much work it is doing everything alone.”
“Excited to come back,” Bryce said, slapping the man good-naturedly on the shoulder, and something in Zef’s chest twinged at that.
An unwelcome reminder that Bryce’s stay in the Pentagram was coming to a close. Only a few more months, and he would move back to the human dimension. And Zef would stay in the Pentagram. Which strongly prompted the inquiry: what then?
Their conversation on their first day here had promised that it would not mark an end to their relationship, but they had not talked in more detail. Would they attempt long distance? If so, how long? And how feasible and realistic was it for them to visit each other often?
The travel was not easy, and it was not devoid of financial burden. Not to mention, they both had jobs and responsibilities that they could not simply abandon at the drop of a hat. It worried them because their feelings for Bryce had deepened so quickly, and they did not want to lose him.
But they still had time, right? Time to think and to plan. Time to enjoy the scary and wonderful feelings Bryce ignited in their heart, soul, and body. They had time, and they were determined not to waste it.
Two days before Zef would depart back to the Pentagram, Bryce’s parents threw a party.
They invited friends and family, and even Oliver’s parents attended.
Zef was happy to see them, as they were familiar faces in a sea of strangers and so they could apologize for their social faux-pas last year, when they asked Greg and Maggie details about the night they conceived Oliver.
“Bryce informed me that it is not an appropriate line of questioning,” they said as Greg blushed bright red and Maggie fisted her cross necklace.
“Apparently, human culture requires discretion when it comes to the subject of sexual intercourse and the rituals surrounding it. Please accept my sincere apology.”
“Oh, it’s okay, dear,” Maggie said haltingly as Greg muttered nonsensically under his breath and shrugged.
Feeling much better, they bowed deeply before Bryce spirited them away to introduce them to his extended family. They met cousins and aunts and uncles, and while they did their best to be friendly, they quickly grew overwhelmed at the amount of people.
While Bryce was distracted, they snuck away, taking refuge in the barn. They stood in front of Trinket’s stall as she munched on hay, petting her between her eyes. She was spending more time inside which Bryce said could mean that she was close to giving birth. They were excited to see it.
“You okay, kid?” Nan said as she came to a stop beside them.
“Yes, I was just taking a moment to myself. There are a lot of people here.”
“That there are.” She reached inside and patted Trinket’s neck. “Nothing wrong with needing some alone time.”
They nodded. “I do like alone time.”
“Brycey too. Charlie was always the social butterfly, then there was Bryce, nose stuck in a book or lost in the pastures with the animals. He’s a friendly boy, don’t get me wrong,” she clarified, “but he was always… soft. A good thing, mind you, but a dangerous thing. The world don’t like softness, especially in boys.
It does everything it can to snuff it out or harden it. ”
“I adore his softness,” Zef admitted, and Nan smiled.
“That’s good. He deserves someone who appreciates him, for all that he is.”
Trinket pushed her soft nose into their hand, lips tickling their palm as she searched for treats they did not have. “I like all things about him. He is wholly wonderful.”
“He seems to feel the same about you,” she said, shoulder brushing theirs lightly. “Never seen him so twitterpated.”
Twitterpated? What a strange word.
“Is that a good thing?” they asked, and Nan cocked her head, pink curls bouncing.
“You tell me.”
Focusing back on Trinket, they rubbed her wide cheeks. “I care for him very much, if that is what you mean.”
“I know that, but what about when he comes home? I’d hate to see you both run headfirst into heartache because you have love-goggles on.”
Another use of strange vernacular, but they understood her sentiment. “I do not have a sufficient solution just yet, but I am not blind to the predicament.”
“That’s good. Bryce is smart as a whip, but he can be… naive.” Nan’s gaze, full of gray storm clouds so like Bryce’s, was sharp. “You don’t strike me as naive.”
“Do you not approve of our courtship?” they asked, genuinely hurt at the idea of it.
“I ain’t saying that. I’d just hate to see either of you get your heart broke, that’s all.”
A sliver of stubbornness straightened their spine. “Perhaps Bryce will stay in the Pentagram with me, and no hearts will be broken at all.”
“Maybe,” she conceded.
“Or perhaps…” they swallowed thickly, nerves cramping their stomach. “Perhaps I will come here. Or we can continue our relationship long-distance. There are options that do not end in heartbreak.”
“That’s true,” Nan agreed, propping her arms on the stall door. Her elbow grazed their lower arm, but they pulled away, frustrated that she was putting words to the worries they were trying to suppress. “You think you’d want to live here?”
Did they? It would be a drastic change, and they did not handle change well. But it would be the same if Bryce were to stay in the Pentagram. Could they ask him to give up everything he had worked for to stay with them? Could they walk away from the life they had built for themself for him?
“I am willing to consider all options,” they finally said, and Nan nodded once more.
“That’s good.”
“Why do you not approve of me?” they demanded, hating the strain in their voice that gave away their hurt. “Why do you believe I am not a good match for Bryce?”
Nan’s brows rose, expressing in ways Zef had not learned to interpret yet. “Oh, honey, that’s not what I meant. I think you’re a great match for Bryce.”
“Then why are you warning me against our courtship? Why are you pointing out the obstacles and all the reasons we should not be together?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, reaching for them as if in comfort, but they stepped out of reach. They did not want physical comfort, not from her. “I wasn’t trying to stir the pot or upset you. I just want to make sure you’re both thinking about the realities.”
“The reality is that I like Bryce, and Bryce likes me. We make each other happy, and even if the logistics are difficult, it does not mean that the end is inevitable,” they said, wings buzzing in agitation.
“Zef, sweetheart,” Nan tried again, but they did not want to hear it. She was supposed to be their friend, yet she was sowing doubt and discouragement.
Before she could betray them further, they rushed from the barn, bumping into Bryce at the door. He grabbed their elbows to steady them, but they pushed him away.
“I am sorry,” they murmured quietly, brushing past him.
“Zef? What’s wrong?” He called after them, but they did not answer. “Nan, what happened?”
“I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong,” she said sadly. “I was just trying to help.”
Ignoring them, Zef strode purposefully away from the barn and the party. They crossed the grassy yard, and when it ended at the barley field, they kept on walking.