Chapter 25
Noah
“Hey, Mal, do you have a second?”
“For my favorite sponsee? Always.”
I smiled as Mal’s voice boomed through my Range Rover’s speakers. The man might be a mile away or a whole continent away, but he always made me feel like I was a priority for him. I’d leaned on him pretty heavily when I first started in the program, calling him day and night with the smallest of problems. But I liked to think I was figuring shit out on my own now.
Except for now.
I dropped my head against my headrest as my SUV idled in the parking lot of the Oasis Resort. “So there’s this girl—”
“It’s not your drum tech, is it?”
“What? Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Goddammit. I owe Jesse a grand.”
“Did you seriously bet against me?”
Mal scoffed. “I saw how you and what’s-her-name were sparking when I was there for your opening show. I could tell you were into her, but I really thought her anger went deeper than that. Clearly, I was wrong.”
“And Jesse bet we’d be a couple?” I felt a warmth spread through my chest at the thought of my bandmember’s approval. Especially from Jesse, he’d been a fuckboy for so long before Ella.
“Not exactly how he predicted it to go down. Pretty sure he used the words hate-fuck, but is that why you’re calling me? You getting serious with your tech?”
I had to blink a few times at Jesse’s description of me and Alice getting together before I registered Mal’s question. “Serious? I…”
I sighed. I was having a hard time getting my thoughts together.
“Is she pregnant?”
“No. Fuck. Why’s that the first place you went?”
“You sounded kinda freaked out. It would freak me out. Has freaked me out. So far they’ve all been false alarms though—thank god. What’s going on with you?”
“I just…What do you think about recovery and relationships? Is it possible?”
“A healthy relationship can be one of the most important factors in recovery. It’s why step eight is so important. You need people around you that care about you, that want to make sure you stay sober.”
I hummed my agreement.
“That said, I’ve never actually been able to sustain a relationship like that. Most women aren’t fans of life on the road. It’s like finding a fucking four-leaf clover.”
Clover made me think of Alice. She had that deodorant that promised a fresh clover scent. I almost bought a stick of it to have around when I couldn’t be with her. Sweet. Fresh. Just like her. “But it’s possible.”
“As long as it’s not built on codependency, which yours obvious isn’t since Alice doesn’t use. She doesn’t, right?”
“Nah, she’s a one-drink max kinda woman. And honestly, I think most times that’s just to go with the flow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Alice even drunk.”
“Good. She seemed like the solid, dependable type when I met her.”
“Only…” I sighed. “She doesn’t want anyone to know about us. Says she doesn’t want people thinking she’s with me for my connections—that she’s sleeping her way to the top.”
“Top of what? Is there a position above drum tech that she has her eye on?”
“She’s started a band. And they’re good—real good. They’re making some traction in the local scene, and it’s only a matter of time before they sign with someone.”
“Meanwhile, you’re all twitterpated and want to tell everyone you’re together?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’m happy. I feel like things are clicking in place finally. I don’t want to lie to everyone—especially not the guys. Rigorous honesty is part of the program, right?”
“Right.” Mal sighed. “Sounds like a conversation you need to be having with your woman. Tell her how you’re feeling. If she’s as awesome as you say, she should care about your feelings too.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“And for what it’s worth, man, I’m happy for you. Glad one of us has managed to find a woman who gets this life.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“Maybe when I’m back in town, we can all go out—assuming she’s okay being seen out with two rock stars.”
I laughed. “That’ll only happen if I can make it clear she’s with me. Otherwise we’ll have to lay low and order in or something.”
“Sounds like a plan. Hey, I gotta get. We got soundcheck. Talk to you later?”
“Guaranteed. Thanks again, Mal. See ya.”
“Later.”
A beep rang through my SUV’s cab, signaling the end of the call.
I let my head fall back against the headrest as I thought about my next moves. The trip to my parents’ house had only solidified the way I felt about Alice. She was amazing. Alice had no issue smiling and playing along with my dad when he’d mistaken her for his high school girlfriend. They were still moving to Seattle, but Alice being there for me had helped me come to terms with the change and my lack of control over the decision.
I’d never once felt the urge to reach for a drug to muffle my emotions.
She was fucking amazing, and it was really chaffing me not to be able to shout to everyone that she was mine.
Knuckles rapped against my window, making me jump.
Chase, Jesse, and one of our long time security guys, Walker, stood next to my window. The first two were grinning like loons while Walker kept a watchful eye on our surroundings.
Rolling my eyes, I shut off my engine and opened my door to hop down next to them.
“This is an awesome idea.” Jesse bounced on his toes. “I can’t wait to light all you fools up.”
“Okay, okay. Calm your tits.” I laughed. “Pretty sure we play teams, so you won’t get to shoot everyone.”
“That’s not the way he plays laser tag.” Chase sighed and shook his head. “Spoiler alert, you don’t want to be on his team.”
I narrowed my eyes at our lead singer. Chase and Jesse had been best friends for decades, so it was hard to tell if Chase was using reverse psychology on me or if Jesse really was a bad bet.
“Can we get moving?” Walker rumbled behind the guys. “I don’t like being out in the open with so many of you and only one of me. Security is supposed to meet us just inside the entrance over there.”
We all fell in line and headed for the door.
“Where’s Xander?” I asked as we walked. “I thought he’d be here by now.”
Jesse scoffed. “He’s been here for thirty minutes, getting the lay of the land, figuring out all the best hiding spots. Didn’t he text you?”
I pulled out my phone and noted all the texts I’d missed during my drive and conversation with Mal. Ten from Xander, two from Alice, and one from Jesse. “He did. And I’m just seeing yours right now, sorry. I was talking with Mal and didn’t notice.”
“Oh.” Jesse stopped and pulled open the door to the casino for us. “How’s that going?”
“How’s my sobriety going?” I laughed softly and stepped past him. “Good, I guess. Thanks for asking.” I stopped just inside the door and waited for Walker to organize our security detail.
Jesse huddled next to me. “Sorry. That was awkward as fuck. I just don’t know how to bring it up—if I should bring it up. I just want you to be okay, and I want you to know that I’m here for you if you ever need anything.”
“I know, man, and I appreciate it.” I slapped him on the back. “Someone told me recently that I need to lean on you guys more, get back to how things used to be before I imploded my whole life. And I’m trying. That’s what today’s all about.”
“Well good.” Jesse slapped my shoulder and grinned. “It’ll be a pleasure to kick your ass today.”
“Usual wager?” Chase crossed his arms over his chest. “Losers buy lunch?”
I groaned and scrubbed my face. I would’ve picked an easier activity if I’d been thinking about it. Last time I smoked the guys at bowling. But I’d never played laser tag before. “Only if this one and Xander aren’t on the same team. I want at least a fighting chance.”
Chase put his hand out. “And I get to pick the teams.”
I shot a glance at Jesse, but his face was blank. “This feels like a trap.”
“Oh, it’s one hundred percent a trap.” Chase gave me a Cheshire grin.
I didn’t shake yet. I had another demand of my own. “And I get Walker on my team.”
“Dammit.” Chase’s grin turned into a glare.
“Wow,” Jesse hissed. “That’s diabolical.”
“Take it or leave it.” Now it was my turn to hold my hand out with a smirk.
“Fucker. Fine.” Chase shook my hand. “Let’s go round up the rest of the guys. I can’t wait to annihilate you.”
Jesse cackled like the Joker.
The sound should’ve filled me with foreboding, but I was too busy grinning to notice or care. I had my guys with me. This was going to be a blast—pardon the pun.
When we got to the laser tag arena, Xander was standing out by the front desk bouncing on his toes, looking like an extra for a Rambo movie.
I cracked up. “Seriously, Xander? How much of that outfit is yours?”
“It’s their vest and helmet.” He shrugged like it was totally normal to roll up in head-to-toe camo and eye black. “Did you guys already pick teams?”
“Oh, teams have been picked.” Chase rubbed his hands together and cackled with glee. “That was the bet. You and Jesse have to be apart, and I get to pick the teams.”
“What?” Xan scowled. “That’s bullshit. I want a say in making the teams.”
“And I get Walker on my team.” I reminded Chase because he looked squirrely like he might “forget.”
“Fuck yeah. I wanna be on Noah’s team.” Xan grinned.
“Like hell,” Chase retorted. “I get Xan. You get Jesse, and good luck. Remember to bob and weave. He doesn’t care who he shoots as long as he gets the kill.”
“Fuck off.” Jesse turned from the equipment desk and flipped his best friend off. “That happened once. Once .”
“And we lost. Because of you!” Chase bickered back.
“Wait.” Xan looked between the four of us and Walker, who was reluctantly strapping up. “We’re missing a player. Who’s the sixth? Is there someone from security we can snap up? Where’s Hyde?”
“I think I make six.” Tyler, our manager, sighed as he stepped up to our huddle.
“Fuck,” Xan cursed under his breath, but still loud enough for all of us to hear him.
“You’re welcome,” Tyler snarked. “But you all pay me a shit-ton, so here I am.”
Tyler might huff and puff but he’d proven himself to us over the years, and he’d gone to bat for us time and again with the label. He was like the unspoken fifth member of the band.
I gave him a nod. “Thanks for making it, Ty. It’ll be fun.”
“Sure.” Tyler gave Xan a long side eyed look. “But I’m not dressing up like Commando here.”
“Fuck off.” Xan scoffed. “But while we have you here, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Hey, hey.” Chase waved. “No work talk. This is strictly fun time.”
“It’ll only take a minute, and it’s not about us,” Xan said.
“Hurry up. This is our strategizing time and you two are on my team. We need to get our game plan together before go time.” Chase walked over to the other end of the equipment desk. He grabbed his gear and headed for the locker rooms. To strategize all by himself, I guessed.
“I thought this was going to be fun. He takes shit way too seriously.” I laughed. And then I realized who I was talking to and shook my head.
“So what did you want to talk about, Xan?” Tyler asked as he strapped his vest on.
Xander leaned against the desk. “So I don’t know if you’ve heard, but our backup singer, Lark, has started her own band, and they’re amazing.”
My blood froze as I listened to Xander rave about my not-public-girlfriend’s band to our manager.
“Yeah, they’ve got original music.” Pride was clear in Xander’s voice. “They’ve got this whole kickass girl band vibe. Kinda like the Bangles but with a modern sound.”
“So they play their own instruments?”
“Yeah, yeah. They’ve got Lark on lead vocals and keyboard. Bailey is on guitar, and Alice has the drums. You remember Alice, right? She’s Noah’s drum tech.”
“Oh really?” Tyler turned to me and raised his eyebrows. “Have you heard them play?”
“We all have,” Jesse said, stepping up to our mini-huddle. “They’re awesome. You should hear Lark work the crowd. They play covers at first to get the crowd on their side and then slip in some of their originals. And they’ve got that club bounce vibe going on.”
“I liked their ballads better,” Xander argued.
“Well you would.” Jesse snorted, referring to the ballad writing Xander was infamous for. One in particular helped win his now-wife back.
“What do you think, Noah?” Tyler tipped his head at me. “Is it worth my time to go check them out?”
I swallowed hard. Why was it that the moment shit started to make sense, everything tilted on its axis? I finally had a girl in my life who supported me, who got the life, and wanted to be with me…mostly. Would this be the push that caused the beginning of the end?
We only worked because we were here in Vegas. Together.
Fuck.
I didn’t want to answer him.
But in the end, there was only one answer to give.