Chapter 24
Alice
My heart was hurting. I’d stood on his parents’ sidewalk for so long just trying to hold him together. It’d taken a few minutes, but once his breathing had calmed, I’d convinced him to climb into the passenger seat.
He’d spent the last ten minutes just staring out his window, thinking.
I was at a loss. That whole scene with his mom had been so fucked up. She didn’t seem to realize how much she’d hurt her son with her callous words. That she hadn’t even considered moving close to him. Or seemed to care what the climate in Seattle would mean for her husband’s quality of life.
As I coasted to a stop at a red light, I chanced a look at Noah, but his face was pointed away from me. I didn’t know if he was embarrassed at his outpouring of emotion or just trying to process everything his mom had said.
I cleared my throat. “That was pretty amazing hearing what your dad said about you when you were little.”
Noah nodded slowly. “Yeah. I had no idea he even liked my drumming. He threatened to break all my drumsticks if I even tried to play ‘ In the Air Tonight ’ one more time.”
I grinned. “That is a pretty epic drum solo.”
“It’s my favorite. Better than anything I’d ever written.” Noah rocked his head against the headrest as he turned to me.
“Eh, disagree. I really love ‘ Nowhere to Hide .’ I could probably play that drum solo in my sleep.”
“Heh. Can and have. One time I was in my bunk and I smacked this woman’s ass—you know, you’re probably not the audience for that story.”
I snorted. “I know exactly who the man I’m sleeping with is. And for the record, I love this version of him way more than the party animal who bounced off the walls because of drugs and alcohol.”
“Eh, it wasn’t all drugs and alcohol.”
I raised my eyebrows as I looked back at the road and accelerated through the intersection. “Really? Where’s he been then?”
“Trying to figure out who he is.” He sighed heavily and went back to staring out his window.
Again, I struggled to find the right thing to say to him. I know his mom’s words had cut him deeply, but I didn’t know how to fix it. I’d stopped looking for acceptance from parental figures over a decade ago. I couldn’t even remember what my mother looked like. And most of my foster parents had seen me as a paycheck. The good ones cared enough to make sure I had food in my belly and a roof over my head. The bad ones…weren’t worth even thinking about.
I’d survived.
And Noah would too.
After a few minutes, I reminded him that I didn’t exactly know where we were going. Noah woke up enough to navigate us through LA traffic and back to his Manhattan Beach home.
But when we got inside, he took off for a room downstairs and a few minutes later I didn’t have to wonder which one as a drum cadence vibrated through the house.
I stood in front of the picture windows overlooking the ocean as I listened to him play. It only took me a few seconds to recognize the song. ‘ In the Air Tonight ’ was pretty epic.
After a minute, I smiled and played the air drums along with him.
But Noah wasn’t content to play a few songs to get his emotions out.
After the first hour, my stomach rumbled, reminding me that we hadn’t eaten since breakfast this morning. And Noah’s fridge was still empty.
Pulling out my phone, I dipped into my savings as I ordered us both a huge lunch from a place nearby that I’d wanted to try way back when but had always been too cheap to pay for. I’d been around Noah long enough to guess at what he would’ve ordered. The app estimated delivery in thirty-four minutes, so I ventured downstairs to tell him.
He’d moved on from nostalgic classics to something I thought sounded original. I didn’t recognize it anyhow.
Since I’d selected to have the delivery left on the front step, I settled onto a chair just inside the doorway and watched the show.
He’d taken his shirt off at some point, and his muscles moved fluidly, a sheen of sweat glistening on his arms and chest. If anything, it just highlighted how gorgeous this man was. His tattoos stood out starkly on his pale skin—black ink curving around his arms and his rocker letters arching over his abs.
My mouth watered at the sight.
I would’ve done something about it but for the tears glimmering in his eyes.
Noah was hurting.
And I didn’t know how to help him.
So I just sat there and listened to him play.
After a few minutes and once he started repeating the same cadence, I couldn’t help myself. I walked over to the keyboard he had shoved up against the wall in the corner of the room. I powered it on, and as his sound vibrated around us, I joined in.
Noah didn’t even pause. His drums thundered through the room as I found a melody to match him. We played together, mixing his angry beats with my lilting notes. After a few minutes, I looked up and Noah stared at me with this intense look that had my hands freezing on the keyboard. He kept playing, still staring at me like he wanted to devour me alive.
With a shuddery breath, I lifted my hands and started playing again, looking into Noah’s eyes the whole time.
Desire pooled inside me.
It’d been hot enough when it was just me watching Noah play—he was so gorgeous, after all. But playing with him while he stared at me like that… I swayed as it suddenly made me lightheaded.
Noah’s hands stopped abruptly, and he bounded out from behind his drums. He stalked over to me and pulled me into his arms.
I wrapped my arms around his sweaty neck and held on.
He lifted me and carried me to a room nearby. I couldn’t even tell you what color the walls were. I never once looked away from his soulful brown eyes.
Noah lay me down on a bed of some kind and climbed on with me.
And then he was kissing me.
His hand cupped my cheek as his lips moved over mine with an urgency I’d never felt from him before.
I groaned deep in my throat and kissed him back. Burrowing a hand in his sweaty hair, I tugged him closer. His answering groan had me clenching my thighs together as I felt it deep inside me. Then Noah slithered down my body, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them off. In a second, my panties followed.
His hand nudged between my thighs, and the answering hiss he gave when he found me wet and aching had me grinning.
“I feel like a fucking groupie,” I groaned as I arched into his hand.
“What’s that now?” Noah’s clever fingers continued to tease me as he bent down to flick his tongue against my shirt-clad tits.
Fuck that. I sat up slightly, which drove his fingers deeper into me, and I whimpered. With quick movements, I ripped my shirt off and tossed it somewhere in the corner. I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. “Watching you play? Seeing you all shirtless and sweaty and so damn intent on your playing got me so fucking hot.”
“Oh yeah?” Noah gave this smug little smirk that made me clench around his teasing fingers. “Wanna play rock star and groupie?”
I groaned as his thumb nudged my aching clit. “Maybe next time. I just need to feel you inside me.”
“Not ‘til you come. You know the rules, Rosebud.”
I closed my eyes and gave in. It wasn’t like it would take much. I’d been primed since I saw him all sweaty behind his drums. The memory was enough to make me clench around him again.
“Such a tight little pussy. I don’t know what the hell I did in life to be worthy of being here with you right now, but I’m gonna do everything I can to stay worthy of you.”
My heart lurched. “Noah.” I reached out to him and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “You’re an amazing man. You’ve always been an amazing man. You just tripped for a second there. We all mess up. You’ve more than made up for it with me. And if anyone else can’t see how awesome you are, then that’s on them. Not you. You’re worthy of love.”
Tears glimmered in his eyes, then he closed the distance between us and gave me the sweetest, tenderest kiss I’d had my entire life. This time my heart ached for a whole different reason.
Oh damn.
I was falling for him.
But I didn’t have time to examine my feelings because Noah tipped me onto my back and nudged his huge shoulders between my legs. Then his fingers and tongue had me crying out for him.
His fingers had nothing on how talented his tongue was. But when they worked together? It was like a religious experience. I mean, he had me shouting about god, after all.
“Noah! Oh my god. NOAH! ” I screamed as I went over. His fingers were so big inside me, thrusting, while he teased my clit with his tongue and lips. My orgasm slammed through me, and I had to close my eyes against the onslaught.
I saw stars, and for a second, I might’ve forgotten to breathe.
I collapsed into the soft mattress then groaned as an aftershock rocked my body as he tried to disentangle himself from me.
In the distance I was vaguely aware of the sounds of Noah stripping. Then he cursed.
“Dammit.”
“Aww, it’s okay, Noah.” I blinked a few times as the room came back into focus. “We can always cuddle.”
He choked. “Fuck. Nice to know what you really think of me.”
“What? If you didn’t come in your pants, what’s the problem?” I came up on my elbow and found him standing next to the bed with all of him naked and very excited to see me, judging by the huge dick waving at me. “Well hello, sailor.”
His belly laugh did interesting things to his bobbing dick. And I watched, spellbound. Dick-dazed? Was that the term?
“Give me a second.” And when he turned to leave the room, I watched mesmerized as his ass flexed.
Then I realized he was leaving. “Wait! Where are you going?”
“My bedroom. I don’t have any condoms stocked down here. They’re all up there in my bag.” He pointed at the ceiling like that explained everything.
“You don’t have any down here?” I strained to look over at the nightstands on either side of the bed.
“No. And I wouldn’t trust any condoms I’d find, considering I haven’t been with a woman in over a year and was on the road for most of the year before that.”
“Well, shit.” I took a breath and when he turned to leave, I said it. “Maybe we don’t need anything.”
He paused. “Maybe? You gotta be more sure than a maybe. I’ll be back in two secs.”
“I’m serious!” I shouted as he tried to leave again. “I’m on the patch. So we’re covered, and I’m clean. If you’re clean, I’m good to go without.”
Noah’s eyes widened, and he took an unsteady step toward me. “Are you sure?”
I nodded firmly. “I’m sure.”
“Well, hell.” He all but ran the short distance between us then jumped on the bed next to me.
I squealed as the bed rocked under the force of his impact. Noah rolled onto me, and I was still giggling as I looked up at him. The serious expression on his face had me sobering.
He dropped his head and nudged my cheek with his nose then kissed me. His lips were so insistent. Hungry.
I groaned and wrapped my arms around him. He nudged between my legs, and I wrapped my legs around his hips. Then he was pressing into me. I moaned and kept kissing him, suckling his tongue as his cock pressed inside me.
Noah broke our kiss and rested his forehead on mine as he panted. “Holy shit. This is—I can’t—I’ve never—” He blew out a breath. “Christ, this feels so amazing. I’ve never not used a condom before. You don’t even know…” He groaned.
I grinned and clenched around him.
“Holy fuck. You can’t, I won’t—” Noah moaned again, and then he was thrusting inside me. I could vaguely feel the metal press of his piercing, but I definitely felt his pubic piercing pressing against my clit every time he thrust deep.
I moaned and clutched at his shoulders. Even though I’d already come once, I was getting close again. Noah tucked a hand between us and feathered a finger against my clit.
The feeling of his huge cock pressing inside me and his finger against my clit—it was all too much. “Oh god. Oh Noah. I can’t, I don’t—”
I screamed as I went over again.
Waves of pleasure slammed through my body, and all I could do was arch into his still thrusting hips. My pussy clenched around him as my orgasm shuddered through my body.
“Holy shit. Fuck. I can’t—” Noah groaned deep in his chest as he followed me over.
He pressed his fists against the bed on either side of me and dropped his head. He looked so vulnerable and sweet in that moment. This big, strong man brought down by the power of tiny, little me.
I might’ve been grinning as I ran a soothing hand over his muscular back, softly caressing him. Noah jumped and shuddered as an aftershock rocked through his body. Then it was my turn to groan as it made him press deeper and caused an aftershock to rock through me.
“You ready?” Noah murmured.
I nodded, and he pulled free. Reclining on his side next to me, he took me into his arms with my back to his front and held me tight.
“Fuck, Rosebud. You don’t even know.”
“Thank you?” I huffed a laugh.
“You know what I mean. And I understand what an important step this is. Thank you for trusting me with your body.”
I pulled out of his arms slightly so I could roll onto my back and look up at him. Brushing his hair out of his eyes, I smiled at him. “You are an amazing man, Noah. There’s no one else I’d rather be like this with than you.”
He nodded jerkily then took a shuddering breath.
His emotions were so close to the surface. I combed my fingers through his hair as my heart ached for him. “You want to talk about it?”
He shrugged. “It’s still so fucked. I’ve worked and tried so hard to change, and my mom doesn’t care. My dad’s not there really. My sister won’t even answer when I call. I don’t have a family anymore.”
“You have the family you made with the guys.” I smiled tremulously at him. “And you have me.”
He gave me a sad little smile as his arms tightened around me again. “I feel like such an ass complaining about this with you. I mean, you grew up in foster care. Have you even…fuck, never mind.”
I swallowed hard. It wasn’t my favorite thing to talk about, but I needed to open up to Noah, show him why I understood what he was going through. “No, I haven’t. I was taken from my mom when I was four, I think, and I never really saw her again. At least, not that I remember. After that, it was foster family after foster family. I stayed in a few for a few years, but it wasn’t stable.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, Rosebud. I hate that that was your childhood.”
“But you can make your own family, Noah. You’ve done it with the Tin Gods. I’ve seen how you guys are together. Or were together.”
“Yeah.” He sighed and scrubbed his eyes. “It’s all kinda unraveled lately since they’ve all gotten married and are starting families. They don’t have time for me the way we used to.”
“Or is it you who has pulled back?” I raised my eyebrows at him. “You used to invite people over to hang out. What happened to that?” I’d heard about Noah’s epic parties, but I’d never gone myself. Wasn’t really my scene.
“Uh, you know I’m sober now, right?” Noah laughed unevenly.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with your friends. You guys could play pool, swim—hell, I bet you guys could rent out that laser tag arena at the Oasis and have a blast.”
“Har, har,” Noah snarked.
I gave him my unimpressed look. “Just because you’re sober doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.” I squinted for a second. “Did that make sense? It was like a triple negative or something.”
“I get what you’re saying. I just, I don’t think they have time for me now.”
“Yeah, I’m not buying that. Chase watched DJ for you. You guys have been texting since you’ve been here. Clearly they want to be there for you—have fun with you. You’re just not letting them in.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it.” Noah’s nose nudged the back of my head, and I shivered in his arms. I thought maybe we were ramping up for round two—or was it three?—but Noah abruptly changed the subject instead. “So I’m guessing Parker was the one who you’d considered family when you were growing up?”
I swallowed thickly. I hadn’t thought about it for so long. But some wounds never really heal. “Yeah, that’s why it hurt so much when he turned on me. And maybe why it’s been tough to let anyone in since.”
“Alice,” Noah murmured in my ear. He tried to nudge me onto my back so he could look at my face, but I wouldn’t let him. I hated being vulnerable. He sighed. “I’ve loved every part you’ve shown me. Parker was a dipshit of the highest order. What happened is a reflection of what an ass he is . You didn’t deserve any of that.”
I huffed. I hated feeling all exposed and needy. “Kinda hard to believe it when the world keeps slapping me down. My mom left me. The state didn’t give a shit about me. Most of my foster families just looked at me as a paycheck. I thought what I had with Parker was real—that he cared about me. He saved me.” My breathing was all uneven, and I was seconds away from crying. “Now I look back and see all the signs I missed. All the shitty comments he made about my drive, my appearance, my talent. He was an ass, and I let him break me down until I was a brittle shell of a person. Fuck, I feel so stupid.”
Noah finally rolled me onto my back, but I avoided his eyes by scrubbing my hands over my face. I couldn’t face him. I didn’t do vulnerable.
“You’re the bravest, smartest, sexiest woman I know, Alice Rose. And you deserve to have all the good things happen to you.”
I dropped my hands from my face and finally looked up at Noah’s serious expression. “Ditto,” I whispered.
“You think I’m a smart, sexy woman?” Noah wagged his eyebrows. “Thanks, I think.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Some things never change.”
“Or do they?” he asked just before he bent down to kiss me.
His lips were a whisper away when my stomach gave a loud rumble.
We both cracked up.
“Well shit. I guess I should feed you.” Noah gave me a squeeze then moved away.
“Oh! Check the front step. I ordered some food. That’s why I came downstairs in the first place.”
“That was—what? Over an hour ago? It’s gotta be ice cold by now. Or teeming with bacteria or whatever. Let’s order something fresh.”
I thought of the hit my savings account had taken when I’d placed the order and groaned. I hated losing money. I might’ve only recently moved to Vegas, but I knew who had built the Strip—and it wasn’t winners. “That order cost me a fortune.”
“What? Why? What did you order?”
“Some amazing food from that place down the beach I’ve always wanted to try.”
“Well hell, I’ll fix that.” Noah pressed a kiss on my cheek, then bounded out of the room, and took off bare assed naked.
My heart thudded unevenly in my chest. I didn’t know what to make of that whole exchange. But I didn’t have time to think about it. I still had cum leaking out of me, and I was starving.
And my man had promised to feed me.