Chapter Twenty-One
Evie
As soon as I’m home after rehearsal, I make my way downstairs to my studio to work on my paintings. I still have so much to do for my portfolio and my gifts to my family.
Okay, maybe I also need a distraction so I’ll stop thinking about the…the…
The kiss.
No matter how many times I try to push the memory and feeling of his lips moving over mine out of my head, it pushes back much harder.
As though it doesn’t plan to leave anytime soon, or ever.
For my first kiss…wow. And with Noah Barrington.
Geez, who knew Mr. Stick-Up-His-Butt could kiss like that?
I wonder how it would feel if we would do it again—
No! No, no, no.
I grab a blank canvas and start working on Lily’s painting.
My inspiration for this one is from a photo my parents took of the two of us a few years ago, on Halloween.
She desperately wanted to be one of her favorite Regency heroines and, using her freaky persuasive powers, she got Liam to be the duke and me to be the jealous other woman.
Mom helped us make the costumes and I have to say that they were amazing.
In the photo, Lily and I stand side by side with our arms wrapped around each other, huge smiles on our faces because every single person we passed that night complimented us on our costumes.
We even spoke with British accents and everything.
The reason this picture means so much to me is because it shows how much I love my sister and would do anything for her, even dress up as a rich, snobby woman from the Regency era. We have a tight bond that I hope will still stay strong while I’m thousands of miles away for college.
I work on the painting for a while, my mind drifting—without my permission—to a certain event that happened only a few hours ago. And like before, no matter how much I try to push it away, it just fights back.
“Aren’t I supposed to have control over you, brain?” I grumble as I continue to paint. “I get that you want to prove how functional you are, but maybe you can function at a lower capacity for a little while? Maybe yank other memories to the forefront so I can forget—”
A gasp escapes my lips as my gaze settles on my painting. It’s supposed to be about me and my sister. But it’s not about me or my sister. It’s a portrait of Noah.
My palette slides out of my hand and splats to the floor, some of the paint squirting everywhere.
I back away from the painting as though there’s a monster inside it that will claw its way out and devour me whole.
“No…” I whisper, my eyes taking in the painting like it refuses to believe it’s actually there. “This can’t be…”
But it is, right there in front of me. A portrait of Noah Barrington, his blue eyes intense and holding so much emotion—like he’s delving into my soul—and his sandy brown hair styled in a way that makes him look super sexy, and his lips look so tempting—
“Oh my gosh.” I grab my burning cheeks when it dawns on me what kind of thoughts are flitting through my mind.
It has to be because of the kiss, right?
It caused my brain to short-circuit and it’ll take some time for it to get back to normal.
Yeah, because the kiss didn’t mean anything, just happened because he and I were a mess of emotions. I bet he’s not even thinking about it.
Wait. Is he thinking about it?
Oh my gosh, am I seriously freaking out whether he’s thinking about it or not?
“My brain isn’t working right,” I say as I step up to the easel and rip off the canvas.
I’m about to chuck it out the window, but my hands refuse to move.
Without permission, my eyes once again move to the painting, taking in Noah’s face.
I painted him differently from how I see him in real life.
Even though his eyes are intense with emotion, there’s a softness to them as well, something inviting that makes me want to…
know him. Understand what’s going on in that brain of his and learn more about him.
“Geez!” I’m once again about to chuck the canvas, but my hands freeze.
I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to destroy the painting.
It’s because…because even though I didn’t realize I was painting it, it’s a darn good painting.
Something that probably should go into my portfolio, but no way in heck am I putting it there.
I don’t have the heart to kill it when it’s a good piece, so I walk over to the corner of the room and hide it behind the wall, among other junk I have there.
At least this way, it won’t see the light of day.
I return to my easel and pick my palette off the floor. This time, I make sure to focus on Lily’s painting and not things I shouldn’t be thinking about.
But a few minutes into it, I realize that the outline of Lily’s face doesn’t match how it is in real life. It looks more like…
I gasp again. “No!” This time, I tear the canvas off and toss it away. “Why won’t you leave my head?!”
I can’t paint like this, not when the memory refuses to leave my head.
So I march up the stairs and make my way to my room, but stop in my tracks when I notice Lily and Liam are in the living room with their friends.
Each of them has a copy of the same book open before them, except for Lily because she uses an e-reader.
They stop whatever they were discussing when I walk in.
“Hey,” I say. “You guys are having your book club here?”
“We had to cancel it on Wednesday because I had an appointment,” Ava explains. “So we decided to have one here because someone is dying to finish it so we can start discussing the next book.” She looks pointedly at Lily.
Lily gives her an innocent face. “What? It’s been two weeks since we’ve read a Regency.”
Liam chuckles as he waves his book around. “I’m a little sick of this one, too. It was good and all, but I think I’m ready for another romance, too.”
Chloe looks like she has hearts in her eyes. “I love that you enjoy romances just as much as we do.”
Liam’s face gets a little red. “Romances aren’t only for girls.”
“Darn right,” Willow says. “Everyone has the right to read whatever they want without feeling shame.”
“Wait, is that The Lost Kingdom of Ryven?” I ask as I step further into the room. “I read that one.”
“Really?” Lily asks. “That’s so cool. We barely ever read the same books because you love high fantasy and I only read those kinds of books for the club.”
“Yeah, this one was more paranormal than fantasy, but it was pretty good.”
“Evie, do you want to join us?” Liam asks.
“Yeah, join us, big sis! It’ll be so much fun to have you.”
“The more the merrier,” Willow says with a smile, adjusting her glasses. “You’re welcome here anytime.”
“I’d love to hear your thoughts on some of the world-building,” Chloe tells me. “Some things were so strange.”
I’m about to refuse. Reading for me has always been a solitary activity, where I keep my thoughts and feelings about a book to myself.
But for some reason, I want to discuss the book with them.
And that’s not only because I want to distract myself from thoughts about the kiss. I genuinely want to do this with them.
With a smile, I hop onto the recliner. “Sure, I’d love to join your book club for today. But be warned, I have a lot of opinions on this book.”
Ava grins. “That’s what we love to hear.”
They pick up from where they left off, and I add in my thoughts. Hearing everyone’s different thoughts on certain parts of the book or characters’ motivations are so eye-opening. And the fact that all of them are so eager to hear my thoughts feels really good.
“I’ve been holding back because I know this isn’t the focus of the story,” Lily says, eyes so bright it’s like she has the sun buried in them. “But I can’t hold back anymore. Let’s talk about the kiss!”
“I’ve been wanting to discuss it, too,” Chloe says with a laugh. “It was pretty epic.”
“And reading Damon’s thoughts on it was refreshing,” Liam says. “I love how we were able to get inside his head and understand all the emotions he was feeling. It explained a lot of his previous actions.”
Lily nods vehemently. “Totally!”
“I have to admit, I didn’t ship them from the start,” Willow informs us. “But after that kiss? Sold.”
Kiss…
Warm lips pressed against mine…
Strong but gentle hands holding onto my waist…
My body lit up like it was on fire…
“K-kiss?” I blurt, nearly jumping out of my seat. “Why are we discussing the kiss? This isn’t a romance novel!”
“So?” Lily asks. “It was still an amazing scene and added a lot to the story. Actually, it changed everything.”
“But can we skip it? There are so many better parts to the story.”
Lily shakes her head resolutely. “Nope.”
I sigh. So much for forgetting…it.
Liam watches me closely. “You okay? You look…I don’t know. Weird.”
“I’m always weird,” I mutter.
“Weirder than usual,” he jokes.
I raise my shoulders. “I’m fine.”
Liam continues watching me, not seeming to believe me. “No. You’re acting odd.”
“Just tired,” I lie as I rub my eyes.
“Is it because of whatever you and Noah have planned for tomorrow?” Lily asks. “What’s the big secret?”
At the mention of Noah and tomorrow, my cheeks get so hot I feel like I fell into a furnace. “Secret? Oh, nothing. I mean, you’ll find out tomorrow.”
“Oh, come on!” Lily begs. “Tell us what it is.”
“Nope.”
“We’re all looking forward to it,” Chloe tells me. “Whatever it is. The whole gang is coming, the Four Musketeers and the Junior Musketeers, and Aunt Bailey and Uncle Zane and the kids.”
“Plus our boyfriends and Aidan’s mom and sisters…” Ava adds.
“Please can you tell us what it is?” Lily begs again.
“Yeah, I’m super curious,” Liam says. “Does it have anything to do with your art?”
“But Noah’s not into art,” Willow reminds him. “Is it a school project, Evie? Do you guys have to pretend to get married for LRG class and have a fake ceremony?”
I shake my head. “We’re already pretend married. And stop trying to sway me into telling you. You’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.”
“Rats.” Ava frowns.
“Can we continue discussing the book?” I ask, not wanting to think about tomorrow night any more than I have to because that’ll make me just think of the…incident. “And can we move past the kiss scene, please?”
“You’re so unromantic,” Lily whines. “Do you even have Mom’s genes?”
“I think she was adopted,” Liam teases.
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m adopted because I’m so different from you guys and Mom and Dad.”
There was a time in my life when I really considered it. But I was the first kid to be born to a Musketeer, so all of them are witnesses that I’m the offspring of Ally and Zack Hastings.
“Didn’t your dad say you remind him of his mom?” Ava asks me. “You’re named after her, too. Maybe you have some of her inside you.”
“Yeah, maybe. Anyway, back to the book?”
As we continue discussing The Lost Kingdom of Ryven, thoughts of it finally leave me alone.
I just hope it remains like that forever.
And if not, I’ll have to pretend it never happened and act completely normal.
Normal around Noah. Especially because we need to focus on the special performance tomorrow.
He has always fit into a certain place in my life, and I want him to remain there without complicating things.
Things are fine just the way they are.