Chapter Twenty-Two
Noah
The guys, Evie, and I are backstage and I’ve been running my hand through my hair countless times. Are the songs okay? The music? How will my parents react when they see me on the stage? Will they be disappointed in me?
A huge chunk of me knows that they won’t be because they love me and want me to be happy. But the other part of me convinces me that despite that, my dad will be crushed when he learns I don’t want to follow in his footsteps.
“Breathe, Noah,” Evie says as she comes to stand next to me. She places her hand on my arm, giving me a look like she’s here for me, like she did yesterday. “You’ve got this.”
Nodding, I take a deep breath. We’ll step onto the stage in a few minutes. My heart thumps all over my body and I swear I’m seconds away from puking.
This isn’t anything like my first performance. I need tonight to be perfect. I need to show my parents how much music means to me.
All we have to do is get on that stage and sing and play our hearts out. It shouldn’t be too hard. But it is.
“Noah.” Evie gazes into my eyes. “Your parents will love the performance. You have nothing to worry about.”
I don’t say anything as my heart continues to thump all over. I can barely hear anything around me, but I can feel the crowd behind the curtain. It’s just our family and friends, but those are the most important people in my life and I want to show them who Noah Barrington really is.
“Listen to your wife,” Wyatt says, where he, Mateo, and Elliot stand a few feet away, putting the finishing touches on their hair and outfits. We went all out with the clothes tonight and if one didn’t know any better, we look like one of the top rock bands in the world.
And it’s all thanks to Evie. I don’t know what I would do without her.
My mind wanders to something else that happened yesterday, something I don’t want to think about but am powerless to stop it.
The kiss.
I still have no idea what came over me. I guess I was just so excited and grateful that it just happened…
Luckily, neither Evie nor I have brought it up.
Pretending like it didn’t happen is the best way to go.
But honestly? It didn’t happen. Not really.
Because the guy who pulled Evie into his arms and kissed her was not me.
It was some morphed version that took over my mind and body for those few minutes.
Then why can’t I stop thinking about her warm, soft lips pressed against mine?
“You’re up!” a crew member tells us.
All five of us look at one another.
“Well, this is it,” Evie says. “Days of hard work and preparation all amount to this amazing moment. Let’s go out there and kill it.”
The guys cheer while I want to sink to the floor.
But then I see the encouragement in Evie’s eyes and something changes in me.
All my doubts and insecurities seep out of me and are replaced with confidence.
My family is out there. They came for me, even though they don’t know that fact.
I want to show them my dream and passion.
I’m ready.
We walk onto the stage and get into position. I sling my guitar over my shoulder as Evie and I stand so close there is hardly any space between us.
It’s a little dark back here, but my eyes shoot to her lips before I can stop them. I never noticed before how beautiful her lips are. And that I’d like to…
My eyes widen as I pull away from her.
Evie turns away for a second as well. Is she thinking about the kiss, too? Is she truly pretending like it didn’t happen?
I don’t have time to linger on it because the curtains are pulled open and the audience comes into view.
It’s a little hard to see because of the bright lights, but I can make out some people.
My mom and dad and sisters are in the front, their eyebrows furrowed as though they don’t understand what’s going on.
All my confidence flies out the window as I watch them stare at the stage. What if I fail? What if I make a fool of myself?
Rylee points at me, and Mom, Dad, and Chloe continue giving me confused looks. I’m sure the rest of my family and friends share those looks, I just can’t see them because of the lights.
The place seems more packed than I imagined it’d be. I guess with all the family members and friends of the five of us, the hall filled up pretty quickly.
Elliot gives us a beat and we start rocking it out.
Evie and I sing together, our voices blending like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
It’s different from our other practices, more intense and…
magical. Maybe because this means so much to me.
To all of us. None of us have ever performed for our families before.
As we sing, the energy bouncing off one another, I glance into the audience. Mom and Dad have bright smiles on their faces as they clap and dance along with the music.
The expression on their faces? No longer confusion, but joy. Pure joy. And I notice how proud they are of me. I know the music touches their souls, same way it always touches mine.
The song is about finding your place in the world. Your path. It’s about worrying you might disappoint the people you love, but wanting to follow your dreams. It’s pretty much me telling my parents that I want to follow my dream, to walk down my own path instead of the one my dad has paved for me.
I see some tears shining in Mom’s eyes, and Dad is not too far behind. Their arms are wrapped around each other in a loving embrace. I think I understand the message they’re trying to send me.
They understand.
This moment is just as special and important to them as it is to me. They see me as more than just the son who’s been trying all his life to be perfect. As more than the next Barrington quarterback. They see me as my true, authentic music-loving self.
And I know they love me exactly how I am.
The song ends with a bang, sending the audience into a frenzy of applause. Their cheers are so loud I bet you can hear them on the other side of the galaxy.
Smiling so widely my cheeks hurt, I say into the mic, “Thank you so much for coming, friends and family.” I take a moment to glance around the room.
“Tonight is a very special night for me. Sorry we kept you in the dark with this huge secret. But now you know.” I look at my parents.
“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry I haven’t been honest with you.
I’ve been keeping this from you and that was wrong.
” I gesture at myself and the guys and Evie.
“The truth is that I’m in a rock band. I have been for quite some time now.
There’s a lot I want to talk to you about and I’m sorry I pushed you away.
But I don’t want to push you away anymore.
This performance is dedicated to you.” I look around at the audience.
“And thanks so much to everyone else who has come out to support us. It means so much to us.”
The audience erupts in more cheers. Mom blows kisses at me and Dad smiles widely, a proud look on his face that I’ve never seen before, not even when I’m on the football field.
“We love you, Noah!” he calls.
“That’s my brother!” Rylee shouts.
The guys’ and Evie’s families call out how much they love them as well.
Evie and I begin the next song. This one is more upbeat, and we have a lot of fun with it, walking on the stage, pressing our backs together. All five of us are having such a good time that all my nerves fly out the window.
When the song ends, the crowd cheers again.
We perform the rest of the songs like we have an endless supply of energy. I don’t think any of us have ever played or sung this well before.
I love this. I don’t want it to end.
But of course it has to because we only have this place for a few hours. Our friends and families continue cheering, even after we bow and leave the stage.
“Oh my gosh!” Evie throws her arms around me backstage. “That was the most amazing experience I’ve ever had in my life.” She pulls off and beams at me. “Did you see the look on your parents’ faces? They were so proud of you.”
“I know.” I pull her close to me. “I’m so happy.”
“You should be.”
It takes a second for me to realize that we’re hugging a bit too closely, like we’re more than friends.
We quickly jerk away from each other.
I smile awkwardly, holding out my hand. “Good job and thanks for everything.”
“Y-yeah.” She tucks some hair behind her ear, accepting my hand. “Good job.”
Elliot, Wyatt, and Mateo hug me too and slap my hands, telling me over and over how awesome tonight was.
I can’t stop smiling and thanking them for everything.
“Noah?”
Mom and Dad walk into the room, with Chloe and Rylee behind them.
I head over to them, unable to hide my smile. “Mom, Dad, Chloe, Rylee. Thanks so much for coming.”
Mom pulls me into her arms while Dad encloses us in a tight hug. “We’re so proud of you, sweetie,” Mom says. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re in a band? Or that you love music?”
Drawing back, I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me.”
“Disappointed?” Dad asks. “Why? Because of football?” He hugs me again. “Let’s discuss that later. But I want you to know that I’m proud of you and will love you no matter what you do.”
I hold onto him, like I did when I was little and it brought me comfort. “Thanks.”
We leave the backstage room and mingle with the rest of the audience. Aunt Bailey, Uncle Zane, Ally, Zack, and all our parents’ friends and their kids and their boyfriends rush over to Evie and me, telling us how spectacular tonight was. Wyatt, Elliot, and Mateo’s families do the same to them.
“Rockstars in the making,” Asher Park says as he pats me on the back, and then Evie. “Looks like we have two new stars in the group.”
Evie waves her hand. “Nope. He’s the star. I’m just helping him.”
“You guys are so cool,” Mia says. “And Noah, who knew under all that was a hottie rockstar?”
“Ew!” Rylee makes a face. “He’s my brother.”
“So? He’s still hot.”
She and Zoey make gagging noises.