Chapter Twenty-Two #2
Ally tells Evie how proud she is that she was courageous enough to go on that stage and sing in front of so many people. Zack hugs her close, and Lily and Liam can’t stop praising her.
“So is this a thing?” Charlie asks as she looks from me to Evie. “You guys in a band together? Because the chemistry between you two…” She fans herself.
Evie and I exchange a glance with wide eyes, then quickly look away from each other. I’ve always known that there’s no hiding anything from Charlie, but does she suspect that Evie and I…?
No, that’s crazy.
And yeah, we have chemistry on stage, but that doesn’t mean anything. The kiss didn’t mean anything.
“No!” I say. “We’re just in the band until we go off to college.”
Evie nods quickly.
Charlie hides a smile as she gathers her husband and kids to go home. Easton, Dani, and Ava hug us next, then leave with everyone else, including Wyatt, Mateo, Elliot, and their families and friends. Only Evie, me, and our families stay behind.
I slide my hands into my pockets. “So…thanks for everything,” I tell Evie. “Like I said, I couldn’t have done it without you.”
She waves her hand. “You don’t need to thank me. I was happy to help.”
I nod slowly, trying not to think about her lips pressed to mine. Her body heat leaps onto mine, causing the room to be a bit stifling.
Evie nods to my parents. “Look at them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them prouder of you.”
I smile as I watch them. “Yeah.” There’s a light in their eyes as they talk animatedly to their friends. I think they’re a little relieved because lately they must have sensed that something was off with me, but they didn’t know what. Because I didn’t tell them.
“What happens now?” Evie asks.
“I need to have a long talk with my parents. You were right—it was wrong for me to keep them in the dark. They’re my parents. If they wouldn’t want what’s best for me, who else would? I’m an idiot.”
She places her hand on my shoulder, then quickly drops it and clears her throat. “You’re not an idiot. You just didn’t want to disappoint your dad.”
“But I realize now that I was just disappointing myself.”
We chat for a little bit, keeping some distance between us. Then my parents bid goodbye to Ally, Zack, Lily, Liam, and Evie, and my family gets in the car.
“You know what I realized?” Rylee announces while we’re driving.
“What’s that?” Dad asks.
She beams at me. “I have an awesome big brother.”
***
Later that night, after we’ve eaten and Rylee and Chloe are in their rooms doing their own thing, Mom, Dad, and I settle on the living room couch.
“I’m sorry I hid my music from you,” I tell them. “I just wanted to be a good son and make you happy.”
Dad wraps one arm around me while Mom wraps the other. “We want you to be happy,” Dad says. “Noah, why didn’t you tell me you don’t want a football career? You know I would have supported you.”
“Your dad and I want you kids to follow your dreams,” Mom adds.
“I know. I just…you were so happy coaching me football, Dad, and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
He pulls me close to him. “I wouldn’t have been disappointed.
It hurts that you carried all this pain and stress and didn’t talk to anyone.
I’m sorry I pushed you into football, but I thought you loved it.
You always looked so ecstatic when you played and it was all you talked about since you were six years old. ”
I release a breath. “I do like football. I really loved it when I was younger. But over the years, it started not to mean as much as it did. But I knew from a young age that I needed to be the next legendary Barrington quarterback.”
Dad’s face falls and he swallows hard. With a shaky voice, he says, “Did I make you feel that way? I’m so sorry, Noah.
That wasn’t my intention at all. I just saw so much talent and potential in you, and how much you loved the sport.
And when you got accepted to Astor University, I was thrilled for you.
For you, not for me. Yes, it was exciting that you’d be attending my alma mater, but all I cared about were the exhilarating things you’d experience once you got there.
” He pauses. “That morning when we went for a run, I talked on and on about my years at the school. Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t what you wanted? ”
I rub the back of my neck. “You were excited and I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry.”
Mom squeezes my hand. “Your job isn’t to worry if you’re hurting me or your dad. We want you to live the life you want. I wish you would have told us how you felt. Noah, you’re an amazing musician and I know your future will be bright.”
I lower my gaze to the rug. “But what if it isn’t?
Another reason I chose football was because I’m not sure I can make it as a musician.
I’m good at football, I have that path set out for me.
I’m worried about throwing it all away for a dream.
” I shrug. “I figured I’d have a successful career in football, like Dad did, and then I’d maybe coach or something. ”
“But that’s not the life you want,” Dad says. “I know it’s scary to chase your dreams, and yes, you’re a great football player. But if your heart isn’t into it, then what’s the point? To have a career you aren’t passionate about?”
“But it’s a safe future for me. Music is so unpredictable. What if I regret not following in your footsteps, Dad?”
He smiles at me. “You have the passion and the determination to make it, and I know you will. But in the slight chance that you aren’t successful, the important thing is that you tried.”
“Because if you don’t give it a shot,” Mom says, “you might miss out on something spectacular. Dad and I will support you no matter what.”
I nod as their words touch my heart and fill me with warmth. “Thanks so much, Mom and Dad. You always know what to say to make me feel better. I’m sorry I didn’t confide in you.”
Dad shakes his head. “I’m sorry you felt like you had to keep your music from us and couldn’t tell us the truth about how you felt about football. You’re my son and I should have noticed you were unhappy.” His face falls again like he’s berating himself.
“No, Dad, please don’t blame yourself. How could you have known that I wasn’t happy with football when I didn’t tell you? I made a mistake by dragging it out as long as I did and applying to Astor University when I really don’t want to go there.”
“Of course you don’t have to attend if you don’t want to, sweetie,” Mom tells me. “But we would like you to go to college.”
I clear my throat as I reach for a folded letter in my back pocket. “Sorry I did this behind your back, but I applied to a music school and got in. I don’t even know why I did it. Maybe from curiosity. Maybe a part of me was hoping I’d choose music.” I hand them my acceptance letter.
“Noah, that’s wonderful!” Mom says, wrapping both arms around me. “We’re so proud of you.”
I can’t stop my face from splitting into a wide smile. “Thanks. I really want to go there and learn more about music.”
Dad hugs me, too. “You know we’ll support you and encourage you in whatever you do. You’re our world and we love you so much and want you to be happy.”
I hug them back. “Thanks.” I draw away from them. “The only thing is that the school is on the opposite end of the country. It’s an hour away from Evie’s school.”
As soon as her name leaves my mouth, her face enters my mind, her soft lips pressed against mine.
And the memory of us so close to each other as we kissed and the feelings it evoked in me engulf me.
But I shove it aside. Now is not the right time.
No, it’s never the right time because it didn’t happen.
Why was she the first thing that popped into my head when I mentioned the music school? Her school being so close to mine shouldn’t mean anything.
My parents and I spend a few more minutes talking. Dad still looks guilty because he thinks he pushed me and pressured me, and it takes me a short while to convince him this was on me, not him. I’m not one to talk about my feelings, but from now on, I’ll try to confide in my parents more.
I bid them good night and head up to my room to finish my homework that’s due on Monday.
“Noah!” Chloe calls as I pass her room on the way to mine. She runs into the hallway and smiles at me. “So did it go well?”
I nod. “Very well. Dad blames himself and I feel bad about it. I should have listened to you months ago when you told me to tell him how I felt. I’m sorry.”
She waves her hand. “It wasn’t my place to get involved.”
“No, you were right to. I was just too stubborn to see it.”
She places her hand on my shoulder. “You were worried about crushing Dad’s dreams and hopes for you. You just didn’t want to hurt him.”
“It was wrong of me. Don’t be like me, Chloe. Don’t hide anything from them because they love us and want the world for us. Even if Dad is a little disappointed that I won’t be following in his footsteps, he wants me to be happy.”
“I don’t think he’s disappointed.”
I shrug. “He devoted and invested so much of his time into my future. And now I’m just throwing it away.”
“I know Dad and he wants you to throw it away as long as you’re happy.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know why I keep trying to convince myself that he’s disappointed in me.”
She rolls her shoulders. “Probably because that’s what you told yourself for years. But we’re all rooting for you, Mr. Bigshot Rockstar.”
Chuckling, I hold up my hands. “I’m not a rockstar yet. I’m just Noah Barrington, co-lead singer and backup guitarist for The Rock’n Jocks.”
She laughs, too. “Good night, Noah.”
“’Night, Chloe.”
She enters her room, then turns around. “By the way, who convinced you to finally tell Mom and Dad the truth?”
“Evie.”
Her jaw drops. “Evie? She’s the last person you’d listen to.”
“We get along sometimes. Anyway, she’s part of the band, too, and we’re working really well together.”
The kiss flashes in my mind. Maybe we’ve been working too well together.
“And she’s your wife,” Chloe reminds me. “But how did she even become part of your band?”
“Wyatt claims we’re magic when we sing together.”
Her eyes brighten. “You are. Like, I felt something when you two sang together.”
“Felt something?”
“Like energy. You vibe off each other so well it’s like you have this deep connection that goes beyond anything in this world.” She laughs. “Ironic, huh? Well, good night.”
She walks into her room, leaving me with those words bouncing against my skull.
A deep connection? Evie and me? Nah. No. Can’t be.
But if I want to be honest with myself, I felt it when we kissed. I had no idea what it was, but now I’m thinking my sister might be right.
Evie and I have a connection. For years I thought it was mutual dislike of each other, but now…
No. It’s still that. It has to be.