Chapter 29
Jamal King
I can’t get the look of terror on Theo’s face out of my head when Ace talked to us. He withdrew completely into himself and wouldn’t look at me.
I wait until the hallway is quiet when I knock on his door, unsure if he’ll answer.
We were both blindsided by Ace’s advice on how to navigate the media as a couple. He didn’t ask us to confirm our relationship. He simply asked if we have a plan in case it gets leaked before we’re ready. We were shook, but Theo panicked.
He opens the door with a miserable expression, and my heart sinks.
“I wanted to give you some time to process. I can go—”
Theo latches on to me as he buries his head in the crook of my neck, nuzzling my hair. His hair sticks out in all directions like he’s been running his hands through it.
Since I don’t know where his head is at, I usher us over to the cushioned chair and tug him into my lap. Theo silently curls into me, taking deep breaths as I rub his back.
“You don’t owe it to anyone to come out. Not me, not the team, no one,” I whisper in his ear.
He growls, and it’s a cross between fierce and wounded. It’s life-changing for someone to clock you as not straight before you’re ready. I spent a few years lying for the sake of hockey.
Theo turns his head and rests it on my shoulder so he can look at me. It’s an awkward fit, but he managed to make himself small enough to sit with me. The chair isn’t built for two big hockey players.
“As soon as Ace started talking, I heard John’s voice in my head, and my first instinct was to deny anything between us.
But you deserve better than that.” His grip on me tightens.
“John has left me alone since I told him we were friends and could have a family Christmas.” Theo’s humorless laugh increases my anxiety.
“He’ll spew all sorts of hate at me when he finds out.
I don’t want his voice to be the loudest in my head. I shouldn’t be afraid of him.”
“I’m sorry that man has made your life harder than it has to be.
” If I had my way, Theo would never have to see John again.
His verbal abuse needs to stop. “Parents should be in your corner no matter what. Living your life according to what other people think you should do or be is awful. Be you, that’s who I like. We’ll figure the rest out as we go.”
“Promise?” Theo unwinds himself, and I say the word back with determination. “My ass is going to fall asleep if we sit here any longer.”
“You want me in your bed,” I tease to lighten the mood.
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t kick you out.” He smiles as he flops onto the queen mattress and pats the space next to him.
I willingly crawl to lie next to him, closing the space between us.
“I’m serious about not telling anyone until we’re ready.
” My use of the word “we” is strategic so he doesn’t feel alone in the burden.
“In the meantime, it might be better for you to move out of John’s place.
Get out from under his control.” I sound calm, but inside I’m dying until he agrees.
“They monitor my credit card charges,” he spits.
“Do you know who you are?” I thump his shoulder. “You are an NHL player on one of the best teams in the league.” His expression is confused. “That bank account you opened, I’m sure you could apply online for a credit card. They’ll approve you.”
“Really?” Theo seems genuinely dumbfounded.
“Do you have the bank app on your phone?” I hold my hand out. “Or would it be faster on a laptop?”
Literally ten minutes later, Theo has been approved for a new credit card in his name with no ties to his family. He uses my address for now so there’s no chance John or his mom intercepts his mail.
“They use the money as control,” Theo says as if it’s the first time he’s understanding the significance. Then he groans. “I’ve heard it takes forever to find a place and get approved in New York City.”
“Stay with me.” The words fly out of my mouth before I consider them.
“I mean, we’re hardly ever home. We live out of hotels.
Your mail will come to my apartment. But, if it’s too much too soon, you can always stay in a hotel suite with a kitchen.
” My heart races, and I mindfully slow my breathing.
I can’t put my finger on it, but he can’t stay at John’s any longer.
It’s too dangerous. I feel it in my soul.
“You would do that for me?” Theo hooks me around the neck and kisses me frantically. We tear each other’s clothes off. “I can’t get close enough to you,” he pants.
“Of course. Hold on a sec.” I give myself space, testing the idea out in my head before I say it out loud.
Theo immediately obliges and doesn’t rush me.
A grin breaks out over my face as I think about my reaction a month ago to the idea of letting Theo be the first person to fuck me. Rage and anxiety would’ve prevailed.
“What?” Theo traces my smile with his thumb.
“If you can’t get close enough, maybe you should get inside me.” My voice is shaky and not exuding the confidence I hoped to show.
“You mean…” He trails off as I nod my head vigorously. “But you’ve never—”
I steal the rest of the sentence with my kiss. Talking about my inexperience will cause my anxiety to spike and my muscles to tense. “No talking,” I demand.
Theo rolls on top of me and presses his lips together in silent agreement. After a few more deep kisses, he holds up a finger to say wait a minute. He hops off the bed and digs in his suitcase, coming back with lube and condoms.
“Do you want to work me open or should I?” I reach for the lube.
“Can I watch you?”
I’m relieved. “Absolutely.” I’m not sure if he’s done it before, and with my anxiety, it helps to have control over prepping myself. “I’ll be right back.” Using the limited supplies in the bathroom, I clean up for him.
“Not as prepared as I thought.” He gives me a sheepish look when I return.
“Live and learn,” I say, and a high-pitched laugh leaves my mouth.
“Do that again.” Theo knee-walks to the edge of the bed and hauls me on top of him. Our bodies writhe against each other until I’m breathless.
“Wasn’t me,” I claim, loving all our skin-on-skin contact. His hands sink into my loose hair. “Are you going to miss it?” I ask, unsure what I’ll do if he says yes. “My hair,” I clarify.
“Yeah, but with hockey, it doesn’t make sense to leave it loose. Maybe you can after we win The Cup.” He gives it a tug and runs his nose along my jawline.
“We win, and I’ll leave it natural for the entire summer.” It’s an easy promise, a goal for both of us. I press my lips to his chest, my mark already faded.
“We’re winning,” he promises, and my heart flutters as if he wants to win more for my natural hair than his lifelong goal. It’s silly, but a guy can dream.
Theo is the greatest surprise of my life. A closed-off man who, once you get behind his walls, is a fierce protector. A man willing to put his career and body on the line for me.
“I love being the one who makes you screech.” He kisses the tip of my flat nose, and the innocence of it while naked causes my breath to hitch. Theo snaps open the lube. “Show me how you like it,” he says, and rolls off me.
The cool gel hits my fingers, and I rub them together to warm it up. Theo situates himself between my legs. His eyes dart from my hole to my hard cock and up to my eyes. He licks his lips, and any embarrassment about prepping myself vanishes. This is about foreplay and turning him on.
His groan as I coat my rim makes my dick jump. “I like this.” His fingers brush my newly manscaped pubes. Nothing fancy, just trimmed and shaved.
“I did it for you,” I admit, working a finger inside myself. His mouth drops open, so I add, “I mean, I do it for me so it doesn’t get unruly down there, but I had you in mind.” I maintain eye contact, and his reaction confuses me.
Theo chokes on nothing and surges up to kiss me. “Thank you.” He runs his slim nose alongside mine. “No one’s ever done something like that for me.”
His sincerity takes me aback, but I don’t disagree. I’m positive he’s had admirers do so many wild things for him that he’s unaware of. His standoffish vibe only increases his appeal.
Theo flattens himself on the bed, resting his head on my thigh.
Normally being this up close and personal would be cringy, but his eyes smolder, shifting between watching my facial expressions and my fingers.
His tongue constantly peeks out. Lust rolls off him, washing away all my self-consciousness.
My skin drowns in his attention, gooseflesh popping up as he stares.
“Your hole looks so needy swallowing your finger. Are you ready for another one?”
I’m a vibrating ball of desire and don’t recognize myself.
Theo makes me feel everything so intensely, the type of things I thought were unattainable ideals from books and movies.
The rabid expression in his eyes sets me on fire as I sink another finger in and scissor them to stretch my resistance.
I’ve used my toys thinking of Theo, so my body gives in easily.
“Kitten,” I moan. I’m using my fingers, but we both wish they were his.
“So fucking beautiful.” Theo plants sloppy open-mouthed kisses on my inner thigh.
“I can’t believe you’re trusting me with this.
” His eyes shine adoringly, and I’m so glad I waited for Theo because it matters to him.
And that is important to me, finding someone who understands the significance and takes it seriously. He’s my true gift.
My fingers are not enough, and being responsible sucks. We won’t have our test results back until we get home, so using condoms is the smart choice. Now I understand his frustration. I’m half a second away from not fully opening myself up and sinking down on him raw.
I add more lube and one more finger. Theo breathes hard as he fists my cock and twists. An animalistic sound whooshes out before I find my words. “Condom. Now.” I don’t have the brain cells for full sentences.