Chapter 34
Theo O
I stare up at Jamal’s shy smile and wonder if I need my hearing checked. There’s no way we’re having sex in his childhood bed with his parents two doors down.
As if he can read my mind, he says, “They always watch the eleven o’clock news before coming up to bed. We have over an hour with them downstairs.”
“It’s disrespectful,” I blurt out as if I’ve ever cared about that. Except now I do. His parents have shown me more compassion and kindness in a few hours than my mom has in my life.
The petty part of me holds a sliver of resentment toward Jamal. It’s not his fault he got better parents, but his life has been full of love, while mine’s been a void. I’ll never fit in here.
“Hey.” Jamal sits back, balancing on my thighs. “I’m gonna put it all out there, and you’re gonna listen.” His hand splays on my chest as if to hold me down without pressure. “You aren’t gonna talk back, and you’re not gonna run. Got it?”
A squeak leaks out of his mouth when my dick gets hard. It’s not my fault it’s a turn-on when he’s bossy.
“I see you, Theo P. O’Keefe. What does the P stand for?”
“Paul. It was my father’s name.” I wonder what he’d think of me.
Would he be proud like Jamal’s parents or constantly disappointed like my mom?
My mom always says she did what she had to do to survive.
But her survival means beach houses and social status.
“My mom said she loved him,” I confess. Maybe losing him broke her.
Maybe she wasn’t meant to be a mom. “I was too young to remember him.”
It’s easier to look around the room than at him. I can imagine a teenage Jamal, studying at his desk and arguing with his mom about displaying all his hockey trophies. She probably put them up after he moved out.
“You’re not doing much talking for a guy who said he has something to say.” My eyes cut to his, and he smirks like he knows I’m changing the subject on purpose.
“You’re a good man, Theo Paul O’Keefe.”
I close my eyes. That shouldn’t be hard to hear. My first instinct shouldn’t be to shove him off and get the hell out of here. But where would I go, and I don’t really want to leave.
I’m not ready to hear what he has to say.
“I’m sorry your family let you down. I’m sorry my bio-father is a garbage human,” he says with sincerity, but then he shushes me when I try to say he doesn’t have to apologize.
“Someone owes you an apology, and it’s not coming from the people who should say it, but I’m telling you, you deserve it.
” His legs slide down to bracket mine, giving me most of his weight.
“You’ve tried your entire life to get basic respect and care. You haven’t given up, and I’m blown away by you.” Jamal rests his chin on my chest. “Do you know how amazing you are? No joke.”
“Stop,” I whisper. Jamal means well, but it’s bullshit, and I can’t listen to it.
“No.” His fingers card through my hair. “It’s my new mission to tell you every single day that not only are you an outstanding hockey player but a solid dude. I plan to tell you and show you.” His smile lights up his translucent aqua eyes.
“Show me, huh?” I’m not one for words, but I’ll take his attention.
Jamal fake-checks the watch he’s not wearing. “We still have time until the nightly news starts. And we should log into our medical portals. We should start our PrEP prescriptions tomorrow.”
That gets my attention; we’ve been waiting for our results. But he doesn’t move so I can reach my phone. He pretends he doesn’t notice my frustration as he rolls so his back is on my chest and he holds his phone up.
“The page is taking forever to load.” He reaches back and messes with my hair. “You don’t want your results?”
The way his leg is bent and ready, he expects me to dump him on the floor. I roll the other way so he smacks into the wall, and his phone flies out of his hand.
“Oh, we’re fighting dirty now?” Jamal hooks his leg around mine and, in some ninja acrobatic move, lands on top of me and steals my phone out of my pocket. “What will you do to get this back?” He waves my phone over his head.
“Nothing.” I grip his neck and bring our mouths together in a slow, passionate kiss. Jamal melts into me, and I link my legs around his ass. He immediately lets his guard down, and I snatch my phone. “I play dirty to win.” I hitch my hips up to grind on him.
“If this is losing, sign me up.” He kisses me while his arm flails around in search of his phone.
I release him. “Hurry up,” I tease, and open my email with the portal info. Jamal finds his phone and does the same.
I’ve been a monk since the start of the season until Jamal, so I expect negative results. But seeing them provides relief that takes the air out of my lungs. I hold my phone up so he can see and wait for him.
“You know what this means?” He takes my phone and places both of them on the nightstand.
“No idea.” I stretch my neck to give him better access to my throat.
Jamal trails kisses along my jaw, sucks my Adam’s apple, and licks my collarbone.
“It means you are going to do as I say and let me fill your gorgeous ass with my cum. And if you’re a very good boy, we’ll get you a plug so it all stays inside you.
” He unbuttons my shirt, spreading it open to pinch my nipples.
“You never answered my question about breath play.” He sucks my nipple in his mouth.
“Umm.” My back arches off the bed. “I’m up for it.” If he’s not concerned about his parents, I won’t stop him. “Do you have a lock on your door?”
“Nope.” He licks down my happy trail to unfasten my pants. “But they won’t come in without knocking. What type of air constriction have you done?”
My mind can’t keep a coherent thought in my head. He wants to fuck me with no lock on the door, in his parents’ house, without a condom.
“Lots of experience, a little, or none?” Jamal nuzzles my cock through my briefs before he yanks them down.
With his expectant gaze, it’s my turn to talk, but I don’t remember the questions.
He crawls up my body, licking and kissing as he goes. “Here’s what we’re doing tonight. You like being told what to do, so you don’t have to do anything. Relax and do what I say. Can you do that for me?”
I nod, happy my brain and body are on the same page.
“I did some research, but we should do it together.” Jamal strips and his muscles flex as he leans over to where he dropped his bag on the floor and retrieves lube.
I raise an eyebrow.
“Brand-new. For you.” He pours it on his fingers and blows to warm it. Jamal settles between my legs and pushes my knees up.
“You look good there,” I say. There’s something about the roundness and cut of his shoulders that arouses me. I grab my knees to stop myself from pinning him with them.
The thought that I trust him completely takes me by surprise. Today it’s more. I’ve trusted him with my body and my feelings, but tonight I’m willing to give up all control and let him lead.
It’s a first for me.
“You gonna let me put my cock where it belongs?” he asks as he massages my rim. “So good for me.” He swipes my head with his tongue and presses a finger inside me. Jamal expertly finds my prostate and caresses it. I pull a pillow over my head to drown out the noise I’m making.
“Let me see your eyes,” he says, and I toss the pillow aside.
“They change shades of green depending on your mood.” He works another finger in and licks my cock like a lollipop.
“When you want me, they’re bright green and hooded.
When you’re angry, they’re so dark they’re almost black.
I love to see them shiny green because you’re happy or teasing. Relax.”
I exhale and sink into the bed.
“That’s it,” he encourages me, and his tongue joins his fingers. His aqua eyes meet mine, and my world tilts on its axis.
Jamal sees me, the real me. I’ve craved this my entire life, to have someone notice me and consider my feelings. He understands my mood changes from the color of my eyes to the strain in my muscles.
It’s more vulnerable than being naked.
“Kitten, stay with me.” He traps me in his stare as he adds a third finger. “You and me, right here, right now. Got it?”
I twist a braid around my finger and agree. My soul soars every time he calls me Kitten. He says it with a tenderness that turns me to jelly. “Fuck me,” I demand, fearing I’ll come too soon.
Jamal pulls his fingers out and wipes them on the sheet by my head. Switching his weight, he shoves the other hand in my mouth. He dares me with his eyes to protest, but I don’t. I suck his fingers with the same force I want him to fuck me. The sound is quieter than my moans would be.
It’s astounding what I’d allow this man to do to me. Only him. I’d never trust anyone else.
He lines himself up and eases in. I’m so close to the edge, I rock all of my weight onto him, forcing him to sink in farther.
“Fuck, you’re sucking me in and…and I need a second.” Jamal tips his head back to inhale and meets my gaze on his exhale. “Yeah, I’d live here.” His smile makes my stomach flip as he sinks in and pulls out achingly slow.
“More,” I gurgle around his fingers. He presses down on my tongue, and my vision goes white.
Jamal plunges in, and our bodies slap together. It’s too loud, and the headboard hits the wall. Both our eyes bulge with panic.
“Don’t,” I beg.
“I won’t,” he agrees, understanding that we’re not stopping. “Hang on.” He throws the folded blanket from the end of the bed onto the floor next to the pillow. “Think we can do this and stay connected?”
“We’re professional athletes. We got this.” The thud of landing on the floor echoes throughout the room, and it knocks the wind out of me. He cradles my head in his hands, which helps break the fall.
“J?” his mom calls from downstairs.
“All good,” Jamal yells back, and shakes with silent laughter. He’s half in me only because he’s so long. I’ll never complain. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers in my ear.
My breath whooshes back, and I grip his hips. “Not nearly as sorry as you’ll be if you don’t make me come.” My words were meant to be stern, but they’re airy.
Jamal takes his time, placing the pillow under my head and spreading the blanket over the worn, woven area rug.
I’d be annoyed if it weren’t so damn honorable.
“You good?” he asks, searching my eyes.
He’s so much better than I am. If I had my dick in someone and they told me to make them come, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. I certainly wouldn’t ensure their comfort and check in again. Jamal would stop immediately if I changed my mind.
Instead, I lean up for a quick kiss and pull him deeper.
“I wish we could do this all night, but you’re too needy.”
If anyone else said that, I’d be offended, but coming from him, it’s simply a fact.
It doesn’t take long for us to work up a sweat. The bed would’ve crashed through the wall by now. Jamal thrusts and circles his hips, nailing my prostate over and over. It’s possible I’ll black out from pleasure.
“Touch yourself,” he commands, and my body hums with anticipation.
My orgasm has been building but out of reach. He balances on one hand next to my head, then grabs my neck with the other.
“You’re going to hold your breath when I tell you, and you can’t breathe again until I give you permission. Will you do that for me?” Our faces are so close that our noses brush.
I whimper a muffled sound because it’s all his hand will allow.
“You are such a good boy.” His hand flexes but doesn’t squeeze. He plunges into me, and the rug under us moves an inch. “Now hold your breath.”
I obey and immediately float as if Jamal has hacked a code to ignite my every cell into a state of rapture.
“Come all over us,” he groans, dropping his weight, and trapping my cock and hand between our bodies. “Let me swallow your sounds.”
Jamal presses his mouth to mine and says, “Breathe.”
I explode, shaking and crying out, and convulse with stimulation overload.
“My good boy.” Jamal takes his hand off my throat and wipes my sweaty hair off my head. He pumps deep two more times before unloading inside me.
Warmth fills me, and my cock twitches, but it’s been milked dry. Jamal collapses on me, and we lie on the floor, panting.
Jamal has stolen the heart I didn’t know I had. He gives me hope for things I thought impossible. It’s hard to push away the fear that this will end as fast as it began.