Chapter 36
Road
Silence feels like a gray cloud, choking us all as the car speeds down the country road, cutting through a field before entering the woods. Soon enough, we will be on Vulture property, but I remain nervous, wondering if the Butchers didn’t send the members of the other chapter to attack us on the way.
“Road?” Rooster asks, shaking me out of my own thoughts, which revolve around Clyde and the reason for his silence.
“What?” I mutter, trying to tickle my man’s palm in hope of receiving the tiniest sliver of attention. I know his life is falling apart, but now that he’s ignoring me, it feels like I’m to blame, when all I wanted was to talk.
“How can you be gay?” Rooster continues.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Prophet growls, rubbing his face.
“What do you mean, how ?” I ask, scowling and I lean on Clyde, resting my head on his shoulder. “For the same reason you think asking such a stupid question makes sense. I was born like that. I always knew.”
Rooster’s frown suggests his brain is working overtime on this. “I’m just confused, that’s all. Didn’t you sleep with Samantha last year? Wouldn’t that mean you’re bi? Or pan, or something?”
I don’t fucking know what pan means, but maybe it’s something kids like him think is a real word. A soft sigh escapes my throat, and I try capturing Prophet’s gaze in the mirror, but he’s looking away. “You can fuck anyone, if the hole feels good, and your mind is in the right place. It’s not like I lied to her. It was just sex.”
The flush erupting on Rooster’s cheeks is as red as his mohawk, and I dread to think where I’ve sent his mind.
He opens his mouth, but Prophet shushes him because, thank fuck, we’ve arrived at the clubhouse. “Enough. You can ask him for sex tips later.”
Rooster rolls his eyes as he parks in the yard. Clyde shifts a little closer and shows me his phone filled with a stream of threatening messages and missed calls from a few hours ago.
[ The fuck you think you’re doing? You’re a dead man walking. ] is just one of many. The others are so vile I wish I could wipe them from his phone and make him forget, but ensuring his safety is the best I can do right now.
“Don’t read them,” I whisper, trying to ignore the crowd drifting our way. It’s a sunny day, but it seems that the threat of sunburn doesn’t scare off the people of our settlement, and they’re here, eager for gossip.
Clyde nods. “I just needed you to know what we’re working with.”
He’s so damn brave it makes my mouth dry, and I squeeze both his hands to communicate that I’m on his side and won’t falter.
Prophet opens his door first. “Come on. Let’s get this done.”
We get out, and I feel stared at from every side. Not everyone in the village has access to this area, but those who are allowed, are here, asking about what’s going on more or less blatantly. The other Vultures eye Clyde with suspicion, but Prophet makes a broad gesture toward the club.
“Club meeting,” he says.
The air’s fresh and fragrant with the scents of the forest, and while this doesn’t help with the sluggishness making my body unnaturally heavy, I’m glad Clyde can be here, protected from his former club brothers. I try acting normal, sending my usual smiles at those lingering close by, but I end up spooked by their suspicious expressions and keep my gaze on the asphalt as I make my way toward the clubhouse with Clyde’s hand in mine.
He squeezes my fingers so tightly it hurts, but I wouldn’t dream of telling him to loosen the hold if this is what he needs to feel safe. On the outside, he’s tense but pretty expressionless. I can feel the drumming of his pulse though, and it’s our secret.
“What is this?” one of the guys shoving a goat out of our yard asks .
“You’ll find out when you need to,” Harvey says, but I doubt it’s because he’s on my side about this. It’s just club loyalty that demands it.
As soon as we’re all inside and the heavy wooden doors close behind us, that’s another story. Several pairs of eyes turn our way, and my brothers speak before we get a chance to go to our meeting room.
Yeti’s voice is the loudest over several others. “Can I get some answers? What are you doing with this fuck? Don’t you hate his guts? He almost killed you last year. I lost a damn finger in that fire!”
More voices join in, speaking at once and making my head spin. I suppose I’m lucky they don’t have the high-pitch of the cardiac monitor back at the hospital. It was so much easier to hold Clyde’s hand with Prophet as the only witness, but I’m a man of my word. I won’t hide my affection for him when it’s convenient for me. I know how this goes. The guys are out for blood, and once they smell it from Clyde, they’ll be on him like a swarm of piranhas.
Can’t let that happen. This is my club, I started this, and I will protect Clyde.
“And now you’re fine, as am I. We can talk at the table.”
Sad Billy shakes his head. “So what? He can set another bomb here in the meanwhile?”
Prophet rolls his eyes. “Road, leave him here, and let’s go.”
My brothers exchange glances but some of them move their asses toward the meeting room.
I linger behind, not wanting anyone to have solo time with my man before he and I can talk, but when Prophet whistles at me from the doorway, I glance at Clyde, whose face is as bland as unflavored oatmeal with no milk. It’s as if he’s drifting off to the safety of his own mind, and I fucking hate it. I don’t want to leave him here alone when he’s in such a vulnerable state.
“I’ll be close,” I say, trying to reassure him.
“Just… tell them what you need to. Don’t worry about me.”
Like that’s possible.
His eyes are so vacant I want to wrap him up in a blanket and talk so I can find out what’s going on in his head. We barely had a few minutes after I woke up, and then Prophet barged in.
“Don’t be a dumbass,” I say, and it comes out way softer than I intended. I lean in, enfolding him in a hug that fuels my resolve even more. When he wraps his arms around me, I don’t want to go talk to my brothers, but stay behind and hold him for as long as he needs it.
I chose him, and I will stand by it, no matter how fucking scary it is for people to know what he is to me.
Prophet clears his throat, and Clyde pulls away, rubbing his forehead. He surely feels as new to showing a man affection in public as I am, but despite feeling so nervous about this just minutes ago, now I’m proud to show off what a stud I’ve landed. I can only hope he feels the same way about me.
I walk away, but still look back several times, unable to believe he’s actually here, in my clubhouse.
All the other members are already in their seats around our large table and Rooster is allowed in too, standing behind his father. Prophet closes the door behind us. It’s so quiet now, the atmosphere feels eerie, but I choose not to let that sway me and drag my ass to the seat at Prophet’s left. It would serve me to come up with a catchy summary of how I started meeting Clyde Turner in secret, but I didn’t manage in the car, and the seconds remaining to the inevitable confrontation will not be enough. So I breathe in and raise my gaze at everyone.
“Do you want to hear the gist of it in one sentence, or should I go back to where it all started?”
Sad Billy won’t even look at me. “The gist.”
But Yeti pipes up in an instant. “Hell no! I want the soap opera edition.”
Harvey rubs his balding head. “Are you really gay?”
“Wow, if that’s the most important piece of information for you, then maybe it’s not that bad,” I say, but my words are met by scowls. Clearly, it’s too soon for jokes, so I clear my throat, and before any of them can cut in, I tell them the whole damn story, from the exchange with Clyde after the explosion, all the way to yesterday’s disaster. Or was I out for two days? I’m really not sure.
There is a lot I choose not to disclose, since it feels both irrelevant and private, but by the end of the story most of the faces within sight have lost their outright hostility, which is… something, I suppose.
“So there you have it. I was meeting Clyde behind your backs, but never betrayed the club.”
Sad Billy hums. “Guess it is what it is. ”
Martin, a blond, tanned guy about my age, leans back in his chair. “Like what? That we fuck guys now?”
Yeti groans. “No one’s telling you to, but you can suck dick if you want.”
Martin scowls at him and slams his palm on the table. “Fuck you, Yeti! You’ve always had a problem with me. Is it ‘cause I told you to shave the unibrow?”
Rooster wants in on this clusterfuck, because he raises his voice too. “What’s a unibrow have to do with being gay?”
Sad Billy shrugs. “To be attractive?”
Yeti throws a coaster at him, which wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t made of stone. “And fuck you too!”
Only Creep’s been quiet, but it’s usual for him to lurk in a corner. He’s tapping his fingers against the table a bit too fast. I hope he isn’t planning to come after me in the night or something.
Prophet gets up. “Shut it! All of you! I guess we’re in agreement then that Road being gay is not an issue. And frankly, yeah, it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. We’re brothers. Who cares who he fucks? I had a guy suck me off a few times over the years. It’s not that big of a deal.”
My eyes shoot straight to him, and my elbow slips over the armrest. “ You ?”
Didn’t stop the bastard from making crude cocksucker jokes, which, to be fair, could be funny in the right context, but not on the lips of a man who always played it straight in public. “The same guy?”
Harvey snorts. “I think Road’s jealous.”
Prophet frowns, but I do spot a bit of a flush on his face. “None of your business who it was, but I can assure you it wasn’t Grizzly or Puck.” A jab at me for fucking a Butcher. Fair.
The silence extends, which means that maybe everyone’s out of clever ideas, and we can settle into this new reality in which I’ll be making Clyde my old man. Maybe we can even move on to the pressing matters of how to handle the Butchers after last night.
But no. Creep decides to speak up, so I brace myself.
“I am a homosexual too,” he says, dark eyes wide, lips in a tight line, and while for a moment I believe he’s mocking me, the tension in his body reveals that yes, he is that awkward about this .
Someone coughs, maybe trying to mask his laughter, but Creep stares straight at me through tresses that fall into his eyes, as if he’s counting on support.
“Um… okay? That’s good? Not to be the only one,” I try.
Yeti sniggers. “Do you have a boyfriend? Do you keep him in the caves?”
Creep’s frown deepens. “No.”
Martin gets up and looks around the table. “I’d like to come out too. As straight. Can’t help it, I just really like pussy.”
Most of the men jeer, some laugh, Prophet rolls his eyes, though I do spot him stealing a wary glance at Creep.
“So now that that’s out of the way—” our prez tries, only for Rooster to butt in.
“What if someone’s undecided?”
His father spreads his arms, and his eyebrows shoot up. “Where the fuck did that come from?”
Prophet rubs his face. “This isn’t a limited time offer, Rooster. I don’t give a shit who you fuck,” he says but gives me a level glare, “unless it’s our damn enemy . So back to the actual problem!”
“Clyde saved my life. Twice,” I say with as much conviction as I can muster with all the eyes pinning me to my chair.
“And almost took it before that,” Yeti adds, but I choose to ignore him.
“His former club wants him dead. I’ve seen the messages they’re sending. He needs to stay here.”
I’m not going to petition, ask or beg. Saying what I require has always worked best for me. That’s how I joined the Vultures all those years ago. Why not repeat that same method now?
Sad Billy nods, his expression somehow even more miserable than usual. “It is what it is I guess…”
Yeti pipes up. “Is it? If he wants asylum at Vulture Hollow, he better come here and beg for it himself!”
Prophet nods. “For once, I agree with Yeti. Go get him, Road. I want to hear from him. If he’s not a Butcher anymore, he better prove it.”
I stand up, ready to fetch Clyde, but before I can take a step toward the door, a frosty weight settles in my gut, and I take in all the guys. I don’t feel confident at all, but I need to at least appear so, or they’ll chew up Clyde and me both. “Just so you know, I am staying with him.” Fuck, why does my voice sound so raspy? “So treat him like one of your old ladies.”
The murmurs put me on edge, but at least no one’s laughing. Even after I leave the room.
I’m surprised and even more unsettled when I spot Brigid. Clyde’s sitting on the edge of the pool table, she stands next to him in all her witchy finery, and the tight ball in my throat just got colder. Clyde notices me before she does, and I dread to think what they’ve been talking about. By now, she must know he is who I’ve been so desperate for that I asked for her to send him dreams. I’m so fucking dumb.
She’s either here to get a grip on the situation, as she likes to know everything about everyone, or telling him that if he doesn’t leave, lightning will strike him, and wolves will come to devour him by nightfall.
“Brigid,” I say, stalling halfway from the door, and she glances my way, eyes dark as the woods at night. “I see you met Clyde.”
He gives me an uncertain look over her shoulder. Boy, is he out of his depth here.
“I’ve also heard he saved your life. An unbreakable bond,” she says, not even blinking. It gives me the creeps, but if she judges Clyde favorably, it’ll help my situation, since Prophet values her opinions above anyone else’s.
“Brigid invited me for tea,” Clyde mumbles.
Fuck.
Shit .
“We accept,” I say, because there’s no way in hell I’m letting him visit her alone.
The corner of her mouth twitches in the ghost of a smirk. “And I thought you dislike tea.”
“I… just prefer coffee,” I shoot back, crossing the distance keeping me away from Clyde at last. My hand rests in the middle of Clyde’s back, out of her sight, but the glance she offers me says she did not miss our closeness.
“I see the dreams reached him. Good.”
I let out a nervous laugh as I urge Clyde off the pool table. “Must have. I’m sorry, but we have to go. We’ll arrange the tea very soon.” I wish we didn’t have to, because I feel caught in my own web of lies, but I know it’s unavoidable.
“They want to talk to me?” Clyde asks when I lead him toward the meeting room with Brigid’s eyes pinned to the bullseye between my shoulder blades .
“Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll be right next to you,” I whisper, resisting the tempting warmth of his neck, because this is not the time for tenderness. We need to secure protection for him, and nothing else matters until that happens.
He nods, and it worries me how quiet he is, but there’s no time to dig deeper. I close the door behind us, and all eyes drift to Clyde.
He crosses his arms on his chest and takes a deep breath. “I’m guessing Road filled you in on us ?”
Prophet nods. “Why should we protect you? Why should we trust you? You saved Road’s life at risk of your own, and that plays in your favor, but after years of being a Butcher? Being brought up among them? No matter what Road feels, I can’t risk a traitor here.”
I itch to speak up, but I have to let Clyde fight this battle before stepping in.
“I’m not wearing Butcher colors anymore. You know they want me dead, and it’s true, I’ve got no loyalty left to them. Only way I can prove it is by spilling what I know and working with you in whatever capacity you need.” Clyde swallows and glances my way with eyes so soft I want to crawl into his arms and stay there. “My loyalty is to Road.”
Martin whistles, but Prophet shushes him with a gesture. “Okay. Go on.”
“I’m only alive because Bracer wanted to use me. He wanted me to kill my uncle and disappear. Bracer wants to take over. For the plan to work, I was supposed to pretend I’m dead and not show up again, but after I took Road to the hospital, that ship sailed. What does matter though, is that the club is divided. There’s frustration at Grizzly’s push to find Roy’s killer. I’ve got no way back, I can’t be a mole for you, so yeah, I need to either leave, or I’m begging you for protection. I’ll carry my weight, and I will be loyal. I’ve got a lot of information on all the Butchers, but nothing else. If you could escort me to my house tomorrow, I can retrieve some money.”
I exhale, itching to support him with my touch, but the guys need to see him as his own man, so I lean against the wall, fighting the sleepiness lingering in my body.
“What’ll guarantee your loyalties don’t change again? What if Road lets someone else suck his dick?” Harvey grumbles.
I send him a stare that should grind his guts into mince. “I might be weakened now, but I’ll fucking remember that.”
All of Clyde’s walls are up and he sneers. “Well if he does, then he better sleep with one eye open. ”
That elicits a few chuckles around the table, which is a good sign.
I clear my throat as an unexpected pang of heat travels up my chest. “Wouldn’t expect anything else.”
“Right, anyone has questions before we vote?” Prophet asks, combing his thick beard with three fingers.
Yeti raises his hand. “Can we agree to be allowed to throw rotten fruit at him once a day for at least a week?”
Fucker. I know he’s joking, but I can’t let this go. “Try it. I dare you.”
Prophet rolls his eyes. “That’s your answer I guess, but if I were you, I wouldn’t risk it around Road. He’s got a temper. All for allowing Clyde to stay under our protection, raise your hands. We can revisit the decision next week.” He doesn’t play mind games with me and promptly raises his hand even before I can do it myself.
I owe him. For saving my life, giving me a home, and always having my back. Somehow, I will prove to him it was worth it, despite me sleeping with the enemy.
Creep is next, then Yeti and Sad Billy. Soon, the only hand down is Harvey’s, but that man’s always been a stubborn pain in the ass. Seeing that he’s not going to win this, he reluctantly joins the others and growls. “Fine. But we will vote again in a week.”
By the time that happens, Clyde will have charmed all the guys. Despite the fatigue, I find myself smiling.
Clyde sighs with relief. “I’ll prove myself.”
Prophet strikes the table with his gavel. “Meeting adjourned. Go get some sleep, Road. You look like death.”
And just like that, we’re on our way to my house.
Our house.