CHAPTER 16
REMI
The ride home was torture.
Feeling Sebastian’s body so close, breathing in that soft vanilla scent while his curls brushed against my neck, it took everything I had not to touch him. Not to hold him. Not to kiss him.
I know what we’re risking. I do. But what I feel for him is consuming. It burns through me like wildfire. It’s more than desire, it’s a pull so deep, so powerful, it terrifies me.
I’ve never felt anything like this before. Not for anyone.
I used to think this kind of thing only existed in books or films, never in real life. Certainly not for someone like me. Someone who clings to logic, who finds comfort in structure, in knowing the rules and following them. But fate, it seems, had other plans.
With one clean strike, it knocked my carefully built world off its axis.
After my dad died, I threw myself into creating a life that was safe, controlled, and predictable. I thought that would be enough. I thought that was what I needed to survive.
But now I see it clearly, it was never really my life at all.
And despite the fear, despite the chaos, I know exactly what I need to feel alive again.
Him.
This beautiful, brilliant, infuriating, unpredictable boy sitting right next to me.
As soon as we pull up to Shaftesbury Avenue, I thank the driver, get out, and walk around the car to open Seb’s door.
He gives me a shy smile, clearly flustered. “You didn’t have to do that, Remi…”
“ wanted to,” I reply without hesitation. Then, before I can stop myself, I add, “Are you okay? I hope tonight wasn’t too much, the concert, and… well, everything else.”
He stops me with a small shake of his head. “I’m fine, Remi. Really.”
He takes my hand as he steps out of the car, and together we head upstairs.
We climb in silence. Step after step, the tension coils tighter, thicker, until it’s almost unbearable. By the time we reach our flat, the air between us is charged. Electric.
I unlock the door, push it open, and we barely make it inside before we’re on each other.
Hands, mouths, bodies, crashing together with a desperate urgency, slamming into the nearest wall like we’ve both been holding this in for far too long.
We kiss like we’re starving.
And maybe… we are.
Seb is quick and lithe, but I’m broader, stronger. I take the lead, though I can tell he’s letting me. I press him firmly against the wall, one hand gripping his waist, the other sliding into his hair, fingers curling tight as I tilt his head back and finally kiss the soft skin of his throat.
He gasps, tilting his head further, offering more.
And I take it.
I don’t hold back, licking, tasting, grazing my teeth along the curve of his neck. I want to mark him. To leave a trace of this moment on his skin. Proof that it happened, that it’s real.
He moans, hips grinding into mine, and I nearly lose control.
Our mouths crash together again, hot and frantic. Tongues tangling, breath catching, hands everywhere. His fingers roam across my chest, down my back, tugging at my jeans until he cups me through the fabric.
My knees almost give out.
Then he pulls back just enough to meet my eyes. He doesn’t speak, he just waits.
I nod.
And then he’s unzipping my jeans, slipping his hand inside.
Skin against skin.
The way he touches me,
God. It’s perfect.
I groan, burying my face in the curve of his neck as I fumble with the buttons of his shirt, pressing kisses down to his collarbones. His skin is warm, smooth beneath my lips, and when I spot the edge of one of his tattoos curling around his ribs, I can’t resist tracing it with my tongue.
Sebastian moans my name, his voice ragged, and clutches at my hair, pulling me closer. His hand is still on me, moving with a rhythm that makes it impossible to think.
We’re so tightly pressed together, I can barely breathe.
I’m close, too close. But I want more.
I want him.
I want to give him something no one else ever has.
So I pull back.
He looks at me, confused, breathless, flushed.
And then, without a word, I drop to my knees in front of him.
I kneel. For him.
And I don’t look away.
He stares for a heartbeat, eyes wide with surprise.
Then he understands. And he nods.
That’s all I need.
I run my hands over his hips, fingers gliding lower until I’m cupping him through his trousers. The fabric is soft, a fine silk fastened with delicate buttons.
Carefully, reverently, I begin to undo each button. Slowly. Purposefully. Because he’s worth savouring. As soon as the row of buttons has completely opened, I can already see the outline.
The sight steals my breath.
When I finally ease the fabric down, his erection springs free, angry, beautiful, and undeniable.
And I just stare.
He’s exquisite. And, for now, he’s mine.
If only for tonight.
I pause for the briefest moment, doubt flickering in the back of my mind. I’ve never done this before. What if I’m clumsy, unsure?
But instinct quiets everything.
I grip his hips, fingers sinking into bare skin where the lace ends, and even that contact sends a jolt through me.
Sebastian lets out a shaky moan, his hands gripping my shoulders as I lower my mouth to him. I breathe him in, then flick my tongue along the edge of the lace, teasing, tracing the shape of him, letting anticipation linger like electricity on my tongue.
He gasps, my name falling from his lips like a plea.
And that’s when I know.
I can’t wait any longer.
I slide the briefs down with care and take him into my mouth.
All of him.
And in that moment, nothing else in the universe exists.