Chapter Five
Dáithí
It’s probably a sign that I made the wrong decision, but I’m incredibly relieved by the change in subject.
Sex with Eoin is something I can do. It’s as easy and natural as breathing.
Negotiating the possibility of a relationship I know deep down is doomed to fail? Incredibly hard and anxiety-inducing.
I sink back into the couch and give Eoin an arch look. “If I remember right, you owe me a hand job after the other night. I believe your words were, ‘I’d give a million handies for a hot meal I don’t have to cook.’”
He laughs and reaches for my zipper. “I did say that… and you delivered. Okay, then, just relax and let me ‘handle’ everything.”
My snort is probably as unsexy as that joke.
“There’s not going to be anything to handle if you—ohhhh.
” His hand sliding into my pants changes my mind.
I’ve never been with anyone before who could affect me like this with just one, relatively simple, touch.
It doesn’t matter how bad his jokes are, my body will always respond to him.
I obediently raise my hips so he can pull my jeans down a little and tuck my underwear under my balls, giving him excellent access to my already hard-as-fuck dick.
“Hmm,” he says, running his finger across the ridges. “We’re going to need things a little more wet.” His head bends, and the wet heat of his mouth engulfs me, sliding down, down… all the way. Eoin’s lack of a gag reflex is so attractive.
He works the length of my cock with his tongue, and when he pulls off a moment later, it’s plenty wet.
The air in the room feels cold after Eoin’s mouth, but only for a second before he wraps one big, strong hand around me and begins working me over with firm, twisting strokes.
I alternate between watching his hand and his face.
The little crease of intent concentration between his eyes is so sexy. I’ve seen it—
“Uhhhh, yeah,” I moan, interrupting my own train of thought as his thumb toys with the spongy spot below the head.
One side of his mouth quirks in a half smile, but he never takes his eyes off his task.
He’s focused like this when he’s guarding the king—or in battle—and knowing he brings the same attention to getting me off, like I’m special and precious…
It would be so easy to want this to last forever.
He brings his other hand into play, sliding a finger down to tickle lightly over the taut skin of my balls, and when my breath catches, his gaze flashes up to meet mine.
What I see there makes me swallow hard. Lust, yes. Affection and teasing, of course. But something else… Something I can’t bring myself to believe for fear of my heart shattering.
“I love your cock, Dáithí,” he murmurs, the low timbre of his voice racing through me like a shiver. “Love how it feels in my hand. Love the taste. Love watching you come undone when I fuck you.”
I didn’t think I was that close, but Eoin’s power over me runs deeper than I knew, because those words, his eyes on me, are all it takes to send me over the edge. My head falls back and I spurt so hard, I think I might have blacked out.
When I open my eyes, Eoin’s licking my cum off his hand, a soft smile on his face as he watches me.
“Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine to go,” he says.
It takes me a moment to catch on, and then I laugh—or try to. That orgasm drained me completely. I hold out my hand to him.
“What?”
“I’m a limp noodle, but I want your dick. So take me to the bedroom, where I’ll lie back in comfort and you can fuck my face.”
I’ve never seen a man move that fast in my life.
I manage to ignore the monumentally stupid decision I made right up until the morning busy wave is done, and then, when I finally have a few seconds alone, no phone ringing, no visitor needing to be checked in, no apologetic dragons begging me to unjam the printer… that’s when reality crashes in on me.
What the fuck did I do?
Groaning, I smack my head against my desk, managing to catch the edge of my keyboard. That just makes it more painful, but unfortunately doesn’t help at all. Sighing, I rub my forehead and invoke a small healing spell to prevent any bruising. That’s the last thing I need to explain.
So, using the furniture to beat myself up didn’t help…
now what? What am I supposed to do? I promised Eoin I’d test him, and it’s bad enough that I’ve been toying with both our emotions for so long already.
I can’t let him down by not following through.
Even though I know the outcome is just going to hurt us both more.
Because no matter how much I want to keep Eoin forever, it would only make him miserable in the end.
Maybe this test idea is for the best. Eoin’s stubbornly refusing to see the truth in the situation, and this might open his eyes to reality.
After all, what does it matter if we ended it yesterday or wait a little while longer, until he admits the test has convinced him he wants out?
Either way will be less painful than committing to a relationship that’s doomed to fail.
And, as selfish as it is, I’ll still get to keep him for a little while longer.
But what the fuck am I going to use for a test? How do you test capacity for a long-term commitment without actually making a commitment?
“Dáithí?”
Startled, I snap my head up. Antje, one of my printer-jamming dragons, is on the other side of the desk, watching me cautiously.
“Yes?”
She tilts her head, eyes narrowing on my face. “Are you okay?”
My spine snaps straight, and I pull myself together. I will not have rumors going around that something’s wrong with me. The piranhas don’t need to smell my blood in the water… or whatever it is that makes them circle. Or is that sharks?
“Of course I’m okay. Did you need something?”
“Only, you were staring into space and muttering to yourself. I had to say your name three times before you heard me.”
“You’re mistaken. What do you need?”
Antje frowns. “I’m mistaken? How can I be mistaken? I said your name three times, and you didn’t even notice me.” She’s not annoyed, more confused. Probably wondering if she actually could be mistaken. I love dragons, but their brains work differently from the rest of us.
“Antje. Do you need anything?”
“Oh.” She shakes her head as though dismissing a thought. “Yes, please. How do I make the printer copy this double-sided?” She holds up a piece of paper. “I did one copy to test, like you told me, but it only copied one side.”
I swear, there is a conspiracy in this office to see who can drive me into a mental breakdown. Someone must have the master spreadsheet with all the odds and people’s bets. I hope the pot is a big one, because when I find out who’s in charge, I’m confiscating every cent.
“There are instructions on the wall,” I remind her, not bothering to mention that we all had the exact same training on how to use the printer.
We all came to Earth and learned to use the technology here at the same time, so the fact that half the people in the office are somehow incapable has to be a conspiracy. “Come on, I’ll show you.”
I walk her through the steps of using the tray feeder, point out the laminated step-by-step instructions taped to the wall, and wait to make sure she doesn’t accidentally jam the printer again—or worse.
I’m not sure how, but dragons can make the printer do things the repair techs swear are impossible.
“Thank you so much, Dáithí,” she says when the last of her copies slides into the tray. She snatches them up and hugs the stack of paper to her chest. “You’re the best. I knew asking you for help was smarter than trying to work it out myself. My wife always tells me it’s okay to ask for help.”
My irritation dissipates. Sure, people can be exasperating, but most of them are pretty amazing when it all comes down to it.
“She’s right about that. Asking for help is—” I stop. Maybe smacking my head against the desk did some damage to my brain after all. The solution is so simple.
“Dáithí?” Antje’s giving me that concerned look again.
“I just remembered something I need to get done this morning,” I say, and her frown is chased away by a smile.
“I won’t keep you, then. Thank you!” She swipes herself through the security gate as I return to my desk and glance at the time. The lull will be over soon, replaced by the midmorning rush, but I have just enough time to make a call.
“Hi, Dáithí.” Jared’s greeting is cautious, and I remember that I never texted him back after his slightly pushy message about Eoin.
“Hi. Look, I don’t have a lot of time to talk right now, but I need your help.”
“Of course.” The caution is immediately gone from his voice. “Are you okay? Do you need me to come there?”
I pause, the shaky-warm feeling in my chest a surprise and also something I want to savor.
I’ve had a lot of friends throughout my lifetime, but the closest ones were lost to the anomalies—one by one, in a slow attrition that carved itself painfully into my soul.
My dearest friends and family members were whittled away, in some cases leaving me as the only one who could truly say I knew them.
I have other friends, and many friendly acquaintances, but it’s been a long time since I asked anyone for help.
And even longer since they responded with zero hesitation, even without knowing what I needed of them.
I called Jared because he knows both me and Eoin, already has some knowledge of the situation, and is a reasonable, calm kind of person. But maybe he’s also a closer friend to me than I thought.
“Dáithí?”
“I’m okay,” I assure him. “Could we meet for lunch? I did a thing that I thought was stupid, but it might not be that stupid after all, but I’m still not sure how I’m going to follow through with it.”
It’s his turn to pause. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I sigh. “I know.”
“You did something stupid? Is this stupid like you’re going to lose your job or end up in prison? Or stupid like your hair is green?”
Gasping, I lift my hand to my hair. “Bite your tongue. If I decided to dye my hair green, it would be the perfect shade to complement my skin tone and I’d look amazing.”
“Your hair’s not green, then,” he concludes, and it sounds like he might be laughing at me.
“It’s not. But I’m not going to prison either. This is… something in between.” Screw it, there’s no point in making him wait. “I need to come up with a commitment test for Eoin.”
“A… Okay. Dáithí, testing your partner isn’t—”
“It’s not like that,” I interrupt. “It was his idea. I said we should break it off—”
“You what?”
“Don’t act like that’s a surprise. I already told you it wasn’t a real relationship and that it was going to end soon.” It’s not like I’ve been pretending to anyone that Eoin and I are actually boyfriends—that was all him. I’ve told everyone who asks that we’re casual.
“You said that, but I didn’t think it was true,” Jared replies, confirming my long-held theory that no matter what you tell people, they believe whatever they want. “I figured it would just eventually turn into a solid commitment.”
“I think Eoin did too. Realizing that was what convinced me to end it. I don’t want to lead him on when I know it can’t go anywhere.”
“But why—”
“I don’t want to be rude, but I haven’t even got to the point yet, and I don’t have a lot of time,” I cut in.
“Eoin insisted I tell him why I didn’t think things would work, because he’s a pushy bastard like that, and when I said it was because he’s not a long-term commitment person, he insisted I come up with a test so he can prove that he is.
So now I have to think of a test, and I need help. ”
“Wow. Um. Well, fuck.” Jared seems to be at a loss for words, which is not helpful. “I have a lot of questions. Lunch, right? I’ll be there.”
Relief floods me. He’ll help me work out what my next steps are. “Thank you. Let’s meet at that sushi place with the homemade wasabi.”
“Yeah, sounds good. Is it okay if I bring Noah? Only I was supposed to be having lunch with him. I can cancel on him if you prefer—this is more important.”
“Noah Cage?” I think about it. Noah’s a team administrator for CSG, but he works directly with the lucifer.
He’s also human, but probably the meanest human I’ve ever met.
I’ve always admired the way he keeps his people in line.
“Sure, he might be able to help. He strikes me as the kind of person who’d know how to test others. ”
“Then we’ll see you at one,” Jared promises, and we end the call.
By the end of the day, I’ll have a plan. If only it wasn’t one that meant an end to Eoin in my life.