Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Instead of going about her usual business — swimming, delivering books out of hours, and the many other things which went to make up her life — Augi stayed inside all day.
She’d replied briefly to Dan’s text messages, asking him to give her a little time and saying she had something personal to deal with.
It was as close to the truth as she could get.
She’d half-expected him to turn up at her door but he didn’t. And she appreciated that. He was doing as she asked, not trying to force the truth out of her and fix it. Because there was no way to fix this. All she could do was hope the threat to her sanity would disappear as quickly as it came.
Unfortunately when the phone call from Lucy came, she realised it wasn’t going to go away of its own accord.
‘There’s someone here asking after you. She’s Greek, Augi. Sofia something.’
Augi went cold, and in that moment knew that she couldn’t hide any longer. Her past had caught up with her.
‘I’ll be right there.’
Lucy’s café was almost empty when Augi stepped inside, the air warm with the smell of coffee and baking, the low hum of conversation replaced by the gentle clink of cups being stacked away for closing.
Afternoon light slanted through the front windows, catching dust motes in its path and turning the polished wood of the counter to amber.
Normally the place soothed her. Today it didn’t.
‘Augi,’ greeted Lucy. ‘Come out the back. I’m afraid I have an admission to make. I’ve also asked Dan to come along. I thought, from the little this woman has said, that you might like something more than just moral support.’
Augi opened her mouth to remonstrate but the truth was, she felt profoundly glad.
‘The Greek woman said she’d come by in ten minutes.’ She nodded to the corner. ‘Dan’s just come in.’
She glanced over at his concerned expression. The moment their eyes met, relief washed through her so strongly it almost made her dizzy. She just had enough time to tell him what he needed to know.
She crossed the room and walked straight into his arms. He held her without comment, solid and warm, his chin briefly resting against the top of her head. For a moment, the noise in her head quietened.
‘What’s up?’ he asked gently, drawing back just enough to look at her face, his hands steady on her shoulders. ‘What’s going on? Lucy said she thought you might need me, so I came straight here. Do you?’
She nodded. ‘I think I do. Like I’ve never needed anyone before.’
His eyes sharpened, concern replacing warmth. ‘You look spooked. Like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘Not a ghost,’ she said finally. ‘Someone from my past.’
‘The woman Lucy said you’re meeting here?’ His voice was calm, but she knew him well enough now to hear the steel underneath. ‘Did she frighten you?’
She nodded. ‘She… used my name.’
Dan stilled. ‘And what’s so strange about that?’
‘She used my real name. Not… the one I go by here. Augustini is my middle name.’
‘And she used your first name?’
Augi nodded.
‘How did she know it?’
Augi shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Other than you, the only person I let it slip to was John Kowalski’s relative.’
He frowned. ‘Then why are you surprised?’
‘Because she’s come to New Zealand to meet me.’ Augi could feel the panic consuming her again. ‘I think she knows me.’
‘And why is that so bad?’ he asked quietly. ‘Augustini. If I’m to help you, I need to know.’
‘She has the same first name as my sister-in-law.’
‘Your sister-in-law?’ he said with wide eyes. ‘And that’s who is turning up here to see you?’
She nodded. ‘I caught sight of someone yesterday. It must have been her.’
‘You didn’t recognise her?’
‘She was only a teenager when I last saw her.’
‘Tell me, please, what happened?’
Her mouth dried. ‘My husband… her brother, he died.’ She sucked in a deep breath.
‘There were things I should have done, Daniel, things I could have said and acted on which might have stopped my husband committing suicide. But I was so wrapped up on my own career, my own… interests… that I didn’t.
We had been drifting apart, and I didn’t see what was happening under my own nose. And I am so ashamed.’
He took hold of her hand. ‘You were a professional woman. Of course you were wrapped up in your career.’
‘It wasn’t only my career. There was also a man. A charismatic professor. I was young when I married — a rebound after my mother died — and my marriage wasn’t a happy one.’
‘You had an affair?’ She could hear the shock in his voice.
She shook her head. ‘No. Never. In my imagination, perhaps. He was always in my thoughts, and I know he loved me. I didn’t act on it. But it stopped me from seeing what I should have seen — seeing what was right before my eyes.’
‘And you’ve been blaming yourself ever since.’
She nodded. She suddenly felt exhausted — as if she’d been running for years and had finally reached the end of her strength.
‘We can face this,’ he said again, softer now. ‘Together.’
Lucy poked her head around the corner of the small office. ‘She’s here. I’ll show her into the back courtyard. Give you all a bit of privacy.’ She shot Augi a sympathetic glance and disappeared.
‘Come on, let’s go. Let’s get this sorted.’
Augi nodded and with her hand in his, they went outside.
The light was beginning to fade as the days became shorter, the sky holding an almost violet tint, shadowy. Beneath the arbour sat a woman who stood up when she saw them approach.
With Dan beside her and Lucy not far away, Augi felt calmer than she’d felt in days. Dan was right. It was time to deal with this.
The woman saw them and rose, her eyes meeting Augi’s with a question, and Augi instantly realised what she’d failed to see when she’d first caught sight of the woman. It seemed fear could do that. She knew this woman. Or, rather, she had known her when she’d been a girl barely in her teens.
‘Have I changed so much?’ the woman asked.
‘Sofia,’ she said. Augi dropped Dan’s hand and stepped forward, reaching out her hands.
The tension in the woman’s face melted away. ‘Yes.’
Augi pulled the other woman towards her and held her for a few moments.
‘Sofia,’ she whispered. ‘It’s really you?’
She nodded. ‘I was barely more than a teenager when you last saw me.’
‘And hadn’t yet grown,’ she said faintly. ‘You have Georgio’s eyes.’ The name cracked as she spoke it — the first time in years.
She turned to Dan. ‘This is my sister-in-law, Sofia.’ Then back to Sofia. ‘And this is my good friend Daniel.’
Dan shot her a look at the word friend, but recovered quickly and shook Sofia’s hand.
They all sat down, except Augi.
‘First,’ she said, standing rigid, ‘I need to apologise. I didn’t recognise you. You took me by surprise.’
‘That’s understandable,’ Sofia said gently. ‘We haven’t seen each other in a very long time.’ She patted the chair beside her. ‘Please, don’t be worried. I come in peace.’ She shot her a warm smile.
It reassured Augi, and she sat down, glancing around the table at Dan and Sofia.
Dan took the cue. ‘It’s come as a bit of a shock to Augustini.’
The smile faded and Sofia nodded with a serious expression.
‘Of course.’
‘How did you find me?’ asked Augi.
‘My husband works in IT and was able to figure out your approximate location from the IP address and the attachment in your signature. From there it was a question of asking around, checking social media. That kind of thing.’
‘Right,’ said Augi. ‘Of course. These days it would be impossible to disappear as I did ten years ago.’
‘Ah, you didn’t want to be found, did you? We tried, my parents and I, over the years.’
‘Your parents?’ asked Augi in disbelief. Her parents-in-law had been part of the reason she’d disappeared, unable to take their blame, when she blamed herself already.
‘I came to Australia first to see if I could trace you. My parents were anxious to find you after… what happened. We thought you might have moved there after…’
‘You can say it,’ Augi said. ‘After Georgio’s death.’
‘Yes. But it was more than that.’ She leaned forward, dark eyes intent. ‘They felt guilty. About the blame they laid at your feet. It took time for them to grieve — and to understand.’
‘They blamed Augustini for her husband’s suicide?’ Dan said sharply, speaking for the first time. Augi loved how indignant he sounded. She placed a hand on his arm. He just stared at her and shook his head.
‘It was hard for them to understand why he killed himself,’ said Augi. ‘Why he could no longer continue to live.’
‘So they blamed you. And you refused to defend yourself, because doing so would point the finger of blame at Georgio,’ said Sofia quietly. ‘We found out, little by little, the mistakes Georgio had made. And why,’ she added quietly. ‘And what you’d done to try to put things right.’
‘It was the only thing I could do for him. The thing he couldn’t do for himself. Give his death some dignity. But I had not imagined how his family would blame me.’
‘They did,’ Sofia replied. ‘And they died regretting it.’
Augi swallowed down a lump of sadness and something more… knowledge that she’d never be able to make good the past.
‘After my father died, I returned to Australia to be with someone I met on my first visit.’ Sofia continued.
‘His family are also Greek and he followed me back to Greece where I cared for my mother in her final years. But he wanted to return to Australia — to his family. Now we have a child of our own.’
Augi reached out and gripped her hand. ‘I’m glad for you.’
‘And I’m sad for what happened to my brother,’ she said quietly. ‘And to you.’
Augi straightened instinctively, bracing herself. ‘It was a long time ago,’ she said.
‘But its consequences are still felt — especially by you,’ Sofia replied.