Chapter 18
MASON
The rumble of a Chevy jolts Mason out of his head, and he watches as it slows down in front of his house, but park a few houses down.
He sees the frame of Callum immediately get out and stand outside the front of the truck. He’s bundled up in a plaid jacket and dark blue jeans, giving him a more mature disposition compared to his usual boyish fashion.
Mason manages to escape out the front door unseen and walks over to Callum, who immediately perks up and walks over to Mason.
“Are you okay?” Callum asks as he looks between Mason and his house, his tone more comforting than Mason has heard in years.
Something warm and comforting envelops Mason as he realizes that Callum already knows why he’s upset and that he understands why. He knows what his family is like.
“I’m—”
His throat tightens as he looks back at his house then back to Callum whose face is painted with worry, his dark eyebrows knit together in concern.
Nothing feels okay anymore. Nothing feels safe anymore. He can’t be himself for anyone except for Jenna and she’s still back at Montgomery, but even she is just a reminder of the lie he’s created for himself. His only choice is the towering man in front of him who still keeps him up at night.
Mason rubs at his face. “No. Can we just—get out of here?”
Callum nods. “Of course.”
He walks to the passenger side of his truck and opens the door for Mason.
Something in the chilly air arrests him and creates a pocket of warmth at the realization that Callum really just wants to make Mason feel better.
It’s been so long, but it’s finally time for him to let Callum in.
“Thanks,” Mason mumbles as he gets into the truck.
Callum closes the door behind Mason and walks to the driver’s side and gets in.
“You don’t deserve this, Mason,” Callum mumbles as he puts the car in drive and speeds along the street back to his home.
Back when they were little, they had found a secret passageway in and out of their secret hideout that didn’t involve going through Callum’s backyard. He hopes that Callum remembered, but as he turns down the street where the passage started, Mason knows.
They drive together in silence, Mason unsure what he wants to say and Callum likely waiting for Mason to say something.
It’s been years since they have truly spoken with each other for any other reason than to connect.
They used to know each other so well, and now they’ve grown up and spent years apart.
How well do they really know each other anymore?
“Joel’s dating my cousin,” Mason blurts out.
Callum’s knuckles whiten as he grips the steering wheel tighter. “What?” he asks.
“He’s dating my cousin, Elena. He’s sitting in my house right now eating dinner with my family and trying to ruin my life.”
Callum sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “He really does not like you, if you don’t already know.”
Mason scoffs. “I figured as much. He’s set on telling my parents about my secret.”
“What secret?” Callum asks as he turns to Mason, his eyes curious, warm, and imploring.
Mason looks out the window to avoid Callum’s scrutiny.
The air between them already feels different, like they’ve fallen back into familiarity with each other. The conversation doesn’t feel stilted or full of unsaid words like it did before, like the tense rope between them had been cut with pliers.
“It doesn’t matter. Right now, we’re supposed to talk about why we stopped talking to each other.”
“You mean you stopped talking to me,” Callum interjects.
“I’m not talking about recently. I’m talking about my freshman year of high school,” Mason says as Callum finally parks at the end of the cul-de-sac.
Callum opens his mouth to retort, but closes it, like it feels like he’s been doing ever since they said their last parting words to each other.
Callum turns the engine off, unbuckles his seatbelt, and immediately gets out.
Mason takes his own off and goes to open the door, but Callum’s already there, with the speed of a quarterback and opens it for Mason.
Mason’s cheeks burn as he steps out. “You don’t have to do that,” Mason says as he puts his hands in his jacket pockets.
“I do. I have to make it up to you. I haven’t had the chance to,” Callum says, his face somber and sullen, like he’s a child that knocked over his mom’s favorite vase.
Mason looks up at Callum and wants to put his hands on his face and tell him that it’s okay, but it’s not okay.
Callum abandoned him, and there is no getting past that.
As much as his feelings are coming back up to the surface, there’s no denying that Callum hurt him, and no amount of things Callum could do or say would undo the past.
It’s also such a terrible time to be hashing things out. Callum is grieving his mom, and Mason feels selfish thinking about kicking Callum while he’s down about his past mistakes.
His phone vibrates, and he almost tries to ignore it, knowing it’s probably from his parents, but he checks it and is surprised to see that it’s Jenna.
Jenna
How’s the family reunion going? Hopefully no knives have been thrown.
He glances at Callum as they walk down the path.
Mason
I’m with Callum now, dinner was terrible. Will update you later.
Mason cringes as he puts his phone back in his pocket and it starts vibrating constantly, likely Jenna freaking out at him for not updating.
“Sorry, it was Jenna asking how I was,” Mason says as he notices Callum walking in silence.
“It’s okay,” Callum says.
Mason sighs and marvels at the falling leaves and the orange leaves emitting an amber glow as dusk approaches.
He only knew this forest when it was full of trees, chirping crickets, and singing birds. Now, it’s so quiet, and he wonders if the same magic he saw it with was still threading its way through the thick brush.
They finally find their way into the clearing. The patch of land is still riddled with branches. The tall pines keep towering over them, like it was a protecting their sacred area, just as they wanted it to be.
“It still looks the same,” Mason says as he spins around slowly, looking at the trees and their branches.
Echoes of laughter and giggles erupt in his mind as he pictures he and Callum running around with wooden swords and wearing crowns made of twigs, pretending that they were rulers of their own kingdom.
They couldn’t be any more different now.
Callum puts his hands in his jacket pockets and huffs. “I uh… I came here to think a lot before I went off to Montgomery. I still do when I’m back home… it makes me feel safe.”
Mason’s lip quivers as he looks up at Callum and how sad he looks when he says it.
There’s so much unsaid behind those words. Their kingdom only existed in the context of the both of them. If Callum kept going back, it only means that he must have missed Mason.
“Then why did you stop talking to me, Callum?” Mason asks in a small voice, like he’s scared of the answer.
He is scared. He’s filled in the blanks ever since it happened, with a million different answers, each one more hurtful than the next. It never made sense to him.
Callum sighs and sits on one of the rocks and runs a hand through his hair.
It’s quiet. Only the whistling of the wind through the trees keeps them company.
“I… I can’t—I don’t know how to say it. I can’t… I’ve never been good at saying how I feel or even understanding it myself…”
Mason takes a step towards him, the smaller shape of Callum as a boy becoming more apparent as he looks at him longer, like he’s gone so long without really taking a good look at him that he couldn’t see that boy was still there under the surface, hoping someone would pull him out.
“Well try, Callum. Now’s your only chance. We’re here for a reason,” Mason says, trying to be firm. He knows he should try being more understanding, but Callum wants to make it up to Mason, and the first thing he can do is at least explain why.
Callum rubs his chin and furrows his eyebrows like he’s concentrating on the football field and deciding his next play. It looks a lot like when Mason’s stuck on a particularly hard physics problem.
“Let me get one thing straight… I don’t want you to feel bad for me. And I’m not trying to excuse anything. I know I messed up—badly. I just want you to know that, Mason. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m downplaying anything I did.”
Mason inhales and nods, kicking the pine needles under his feet, making two empty foot shapes in the soil.
Callum sighs. “I—It was my dad. That’s all I really know.”
Mason furrows his eyebrows. He’s very unsure of what Callum means by that.
Mr. Brown was never fond of Mason and had tried so many times to keep them apart, but it never fully worked.
They still hung out at school after Mr. Brown forbade them from seeing each other, so Callum’s explanation doesn’t make a lick of sense.
Mason opens his mouth, but Callum interrupts him. “I know what you’re going to say. I don’t mean it was actually him. It—I just remember that his voice got so… loud.”
Mason takes his hands out of his jacket pockets and crosses his arms. “Loud?”
Callum’s face falls like he’s embarrassed.
“It’s all I can hear sometimes. His voice. Telling me how bad I am. How much of a shitty son I am. Especially when I lose a game or… do anything but win. Even then…”
Callum rubs the back of his neck and looks down at the ground. Mason has this feeling that Callum might be close to crying, but he’s not going to push Callum to do anything.
“When I started my sophomore year at Northwood, it—it got even worse. And all I could think was… what could I do to get him to stop? How could I get everyone to think I’m going to go pro? Just so I could stop lying awake at night hoping I don’t wake up to more berating from him?”
Mason sighs. He starts to feel uneasy at the words Callum isn’t explicitly saying.