Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
S hinji
I contemplate milking this situation to the fullest. Takeshi only needs to see me pout a little longer for me to take advantage of Lakeshia’s predicament, but she’s not accustomed to my mischievous side.
Do her words hurt? Absolutely.
To make my most ardent wish come true, I need her to want to be here, to see herself as part of our unit, to understand she is invaluable to us. That she still wants an out distresses me, but I understand. She doesn’t know us well enough. From what background we’ve gathered on her, she doesn’t do relationships or form permanent attachments. And we… I’m demanding the very permanence she’s avoided all her life.
As I watch panic set into Lakeshia’s eyes, I resist the playful compulsion to bend her to me through manipulation. If I reveal how easy it is for me to see past her barriers, she might say, “fuck it,” and run with no regard to Takeshi’s threat, a threat I will never let come to pass.
A soft touch to Takeshi’s cheek brings his attention to me. “She’s done nothing to make amends for.”
He searches my face as if trying to unearth a hidden pain. “But I know how much this means to you.”
“I won’t deny that, but her words didn’t cut me the way you think they did. More than anything, I’m disappointed she thinks she can be so easily replaced, but that means we have to do a better job showing her her worth.”
Takeshi scowls, turning the full heat of it on Lakeshia and swinging back to me.
I don’t fold.
His shoulders slump in defeat, and he presses his mouth to my forehead for a hard kiss. Although we part, his lips leave a reminder through residual heat and underlying understanding.
I squeeze his bicep in silent thanks.
“Let’s eat,” he says and makes his way to the half-dished-out food.
Lakeshia remains quiet though her chaotic state of mind screams to me as she flexes her hands and nibbles her upper lip. I herd her to the kitchen table instead of the dining room because formality at this juncture will only make her more skittish.
Takeshi follows with our dinners and returns to the fridge for water.
Good choice.
Takeshi always considers risks whereas I flow with the moment. Tonight there will be no alcohol for either of us. For the foreseeable future actually, or until we’ve established the kind of trust alcohol can’t override.
Lakeshia eyes the glass. It isn’t the first time I’ve caught her doing so. Last night’s dinner where Takeshi or I presented her with a beverage and again at breakfast, she did the same thing. Now that I think back, I don’t recall seeing her finish anything we handed her; only those from Kori or what she bought herself. There is a story there, one I doubt I’ll like or that she will willingly tell us.
First, we must earn her trust. Learning about her life, the good and the bad, is necessary to get what I want the most; Lakeshia and Takeshi as my forever soul mates and life partners.
I sip from her glass before returning it to her. Takeshi’s gaze narrows at my silent actions. He isn’t stupid. He’ll come to a similar conclusion as I have.
And Lakeshia thought she didn’t need protection.
I silently scoff at the ridiculous notion she’s been living with for too long.
As we eat, Takeshi does as he will always do. “Tonight will be our first night having sex together. For your comfort, is there anything Shinji and I should avoid?”
Lakeshia’s lips quirk, revealing a hint of humor to dissipate the seriousness from moments before. “Technically, we had sex last night, but to answer your question, I don’t shy away from kink if that’s what you’re getting at.”
Her response piques my interest and judging from Takeshi’s stranglehold on his fork, he is more than intrigued.
“I need specifics,” he says.
“I’ll administer whatever kink you need to get your jollies off but I don’t like pain or degradation directed at me. Oh, and no relationship role-play. Of any kind.” She forks a mouthful of seasoned rice and stuffs her face. “And no sleep sex. If that’s a hard line for you, then we can’t move forward.”
“Don’t worry about that. We want you aware and actively participating when it comes time for us to fill you with cum. And though we can be adventurous, we don’t practice the BDSM lifestyle so don’t expect you to while we’re trying to get pregnant,” I say, while hiding my interest in her opposition to role play.
I have no interest in faking what happens between us, but I sense a deeper story to her reasoning. I couldn’t care less about the sleep sex, unless…
“Before we close this issue on sleep sex, does watching you in the throes of a sex dream count? Because you may be asking too much now that I know the noises you make and the way you make yourself come,” Takeshi voices the same concern in my mind with a fierce frown.
I study Lakeshia, more than a little interested in her response.
Her cheeks warm and she clears her throat before looking each of us in the eyes. “As long as all you do is watch, I have no problem with providing you that kind of stimulation.”
I grin with relief, but also more curious about her. There is so much to learn about Lakeshia that I’m certain boredom won’t be a thing for us.
“Although we don’t participate in BDSM kinks, there is one practice we will use for you. Shinji and I can get intense.”
“I’ve seen,” Lakeshia says dryly.
“My point is if we become too much for you, we need you to choose a safe word that will tell us you’ve had enough.”
“Although I’m partial to the word stop, I think in this instance I’ll choose, tora.” For a moment, her eyes haze over as if she is reliving a memory.
Her response surprises me. Tora means tiger in Japanese, but I doubt she understands the language. Yesterday she exhibited no signs of comprehending my conversation with Takeshi. The only tora in the vicinity belongs to Katsuo, but she has no reason to know that. I let it go.
“Tora it is.” My husband nods. “Are there any positions you favor?”
On and on Takeshi lobs questions at Lakeshia. My man is thorough but I sense he is just as invested in knowing her answers as I am. As I listen to all the sexual positions Lakeshia likes, my body begins to respond and an idea grows. It’s crazy and a little cringe, but it might help me and Takeshi get past Lakeshia’s barriers.
“I’d like to propose a competition of sorts as a way to make this process less businesslike.”
Takeshi and Lakeshia focus their attention on me.
“As you know, I want Takeshi and I to have equal opportunity to father this child. To that end, I suggest we have a… sperm race.”
I should have waited until Lakeshia finished drinking because she coughs and sprays water onto the table. I rush to step behind her and pat her on the back to help her breathe. Once she regains her composure, I rub soothing circles on her back, loathe to be apart from her.
“Sorry,” she says, glancing at me with watery eyes. “You took me by surprise.”
“Is that the only reason?” Takeshi asks.
What did I miss?
“Not exactly. I don’t know how to bring this up after my comment about Kori, but…”
I gravitate to massaging her shoulders to loosen the tense muscles under my fingers.
“No need to sugarcoat what you have to say. Shinji will protect you from me.” Although calm, Takeshi’s voice holds a hint of resentment.
I’ll have to give him one-on-one attention because we cannot afford to let bad feelings fester between us. Some jealousy is expected on all our parts, but I will ensure it gets addressed to not destroy our future.
“Shouldn’t we wait until I’m ovulating?”
Takeshi’s pinched lips speak to his irritation, but irritation at what? Having to wait because he wants to get this over with or not being able to claim Lakeshia now?
I run my fingers along her neck below her hair. “We can hold off, but can you? If Takeshi and I aren’t fucking you, we’ll be fucking each other.”
“And this time I won’t allow you to touch either of us,” Takeshi says.
Lakeshia shivers and her breath stutters.
“The decision is yours.” I walk to Takeshi and hold out my hand for him.
Instead of taking it and allowing me to pull him to a standing position, he pulls me onto his lap and kisses me. In the back of my mind, I know this demonstration is more for Lakeshia than me, but I fall into his heat and the residual taste of my favorite miso butter cookies on his tongue.
When he tries to pull away, I grab his neck and press for more. Our connection is so deep that whenever we reconnect after any length of time, my soul stirs and plunges me deeper in love with him.
On the verge of passing out for lack of air, I release my husband. He presses his forehead into mine and we breathe in each other’s breaths as we pant.
“Let’s go to bed,” he says and I eagerly nod my agreement.
As we stand, so does Lakeshia. She raises her eyes, and her shoulders have a determined symmetry to them.
“Made your decision?” Takeshi asks while pulling me towards the door.
I look back to see her nod and follow in our wake.
Tonight will be epic.
I tamp down the giddy feeling inside, but a smile escapes. Having the two people I need more than air coming together is no small thing.
In our bedroom, Lakeshia moves to take her clothes off.
“Stay as you are.” Takeshi’s stern voice causes me to stop mid-step and Lakeshia to release her shirt’s hem. “Shinji and I are well-versed in what we like, but you are new to both of us. We need to learn how your body reacts, what you like, what makes your heart race.”
“Are you forgetting where we…” She takes a tentative step back as a fierce frown takes over Takeshi’s face then she tilts her chin up and recaptures the distance. “Met? My life didn’t start in the hotel room yesterday and not talking about me being a madam won’t change the fact that I fucked my clients.”
I take her hands in mine and lead her to the bed where we sit facing each other. “We don’t intend to ignore your past. There’s no shame in how you earned your living. What we don’t like is the close comparison to your clients and us. We have a deal, there’s no denying that’s why you’re here with us, but that doesn’t mean you have to openly treat us like johns.”
“I didn’t realize I was doing that. I know better.”
Takeshi stands in front of Lakeshia, caging her in between himself and the bed. She raises vulnerable eyes to him and I resist the urge to envelop her in my arms and coddle her until she gets her spirit back.
“Then let’s agree to pretend there’s no contract hanging over our heads so we can enjoy everything that happens between us to the fullest.” Takeshi pushes her hair behind her ear.
She glances at me and Takeshi again before giving us a stilted nod.
“I need your words,” Takeshi growls.
She stiffens, and her glare hardens. “I agree,” she says, not backing down.
“Good, because there will be consequences for comparing us in the future.” Takeshi’s eyes glitter with suppressed anticipation.
“And those would be?” she demands.
“Something fitting, once we get to know you better. Don’t worry, I won’t cross your boundaries. However, I’ll correct your behavior when it’s warranted.”
“He’ll try.” I grin at the pair as pride swells in my chest. “By the way, I agree to all the above.”
“That makes three. Warubozu, help her undress. Slowly.”
My grin widens. Lakeshia is about to get a dose of Takeshi as the bedroom dictator and I’m curious to see how she challenges him. The truth is, I’ll take Takeshi every which way, but the imp in me wants her to push his buttons.
I rise and help Lakeshia to her feet while staring into her luminescent, sable eyes. My and Takeshi’s happiness and despair hinge on keeping her happy and giving her a reason to love. Takeshi will get on board. His request to ignore the legal document between us is more than enough proof for me he is already on the path to accepting her despite his reservations. Once he does, he’ll be powerless not to claim her.
With Lakeshia’s shirt hem in my hands, I lift the material so it glides gently over her skin, only breaking eye contact once the shirt obstructs our view. I want to see every flicker of emotion and reaction she has and vice versa. In this, I have nothing to hide and I open myself for her to experience all of me. No manipulations. No barriers. Just the beginning of a love I’ve held onto for the years she was on the run; a love that grows deeper with each piece of herself she reveals to me.
I continue to undress her, holding her gaze hostage until she stands before us naked but with her armor firmly in place. Takeshi comes to stand beside me and she switches from me to my husband, her mouth slightly open and her eyes beginning to dilate.
“You may kiss her anywhere but her lips, her nipples, or her pussy.” Takeshi reaches out and tilts her chin. “I want your words, Lakeshia. Tell us what you feel, if Shinji’s kisses are too light, heavy, or just right. If my touch engenders a need I’m not fulfilling.”
She nods without blinking and Takeshi frowns at her disobedience. “Okay,” she whispers.
“Warubozu?”
I jump into action but dampen my enthusiasm having realized this slow seduction is Takeshi’s way of weakening Lakeshia’s barriers.
I start at the juncture where her neck and shoulder meet then glide up to the pulse point behind her ear. She inhales sharply and a pounding rhythm beats against my lips. I swipe my tongue against her warming brown skin and blow on the area. A shudder runs through her.
On her other side, Takeshi catches my eyes when he grazes his fingers down her shoulders.
“My skin feels sensitive, like there’s this hyperawareness of the air and every cell you guys are touching to how it connects to the rest of my body. With Shinji at my ear and you at my arm, I feel you more intensely here.” She presses a hand to her lower stomach.
“Has anyone ever cherished you before?” I ask while sliding my lips down to her clavicle.
Silence meets my question. I glance at her from my position but she doesn’t meet my eyes.
Takeshi takes her chin and faces off with her defiance. “I’d also like to know the answer to Shinji’s question.”
A flash of longing softens her eyes but a pained shadow clouds the warm sable before all emotion disappears as quickly as it appeared and her barriers are back in place.
I peer closer at her. Her defenses are up again, but not as strong as earlier.
She shrugs her shoulders. “What would be the point? I can never be what they need.”
Takeshi’s entire stance softens. I’m also affected by the loneliness and desolation she reveals in her response because, for a long time, I lived in a love desert like Lakeshia, devoid of genuine affection. Until Takeshi.
“No,” I agree with her second point. “You are everything we need, but you still deserve to be adored by everyone.” I press my lips against her eyes. “Admired.” I move to kiss the tip of her nose. “Treasured.” My last press of lips lands over her heart.
Her organ thuds violently against my mouth, and I kiss the area again.
Takeshi sweeps his hand from her cheek to clasp her hand and bring it to his lips. “Allow us to do what no one else has.”
Lakeshia snatches her hand to clasp it against her chest, her breathing becomes erratic and I begin to worry that she’ll pass out from lack of oxygen. I exchange alarmed glances with Takeshi.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, reaching out to her, but she balks and collapses on the floor into a violent shivering ball while shaking her head.
Takeshi rips the comforter off the bed, wraps it around Lakeshia’s body, and lifts her until he can seat her on his lap. He rocks her and rubs his cheek against her forehead. His soothing voice filters to my ears although his words remain unintelligible.
I want to join them, to aid in providing comfort to our woman but my feet refuse to move. I watch as Takeshi’s defenses against Lakeshia crumble in the face of her internal turmoil as his whispers become more fervent with no reaction from her.
While my Lakeshia locks herself, far away from me and Takeshi, a fissure spreads across my heart. Left on the outside, alone and watching as if from a world away, I’m powerless as they share different sides of this gut-wrenching experience. After all, I make situations lighter through laughter and innocent pranks. None of which will ease what is happening to Lakeshia.
My isolation spears through me until Takeshi’s anguished gaze finds me, freeing my feet and allowing me to join their circle. I may not be able to rely on my go-tos but I can’t stand by the sidelines and leave them alone. Whatever is causing Lakeshia to isolate herself is big and impossible to handle alone.
I crawl behind Takeshi and wrap my arms and legs around them. Neither of us speaks, allowing the silence and our body heat to do their work. Lakeshia’s shivers slowly dissipate but we wait for her to exhibit the first signs of coming back to herself.
“You can let me go now,” she whispers.
“We could, but we won’t. Not until we know what just happened,” Takeshi says.
“I…don’t know.” She takes a shaky breath. “This has never happened to me.” She squirms in Takeshi’s hold. “Please, let go. I promise I’m okay now.”
“I doubt that.” Despite voicing his skepticism, he releases Lakeshia.
She crawls out of the blanket and bed to escape into the bathroom.
“What the fuck did we do?” Takeshi asks, his brow scrunched in bewilderment.
“No fucking idea. Everything seemed to be okay…”
“Until we made it personal.” Takeshi shakes his head. “She’s hiding something from us.”
I agree, have felt the knowledge in my bones that she has secrets. “The only way she’ll tell us is to make her trust us.”
“Damn you, Shinji. Why her? I can’t keep her at a distance when…that’s been your plan all along, hasn’t it? Make me care about her so you can keep her.”
“So we can keep her.” I cup Takeshi’s shoulder and beseech him with my eyes and words. “I didn’t manipulate you into feeling what you do, but I’ve known she was perfect for us , you and me, almost from the start. Help me convince her she belongs with us.”
“After what happened tonight, that may be impossible.”
“But you agree? We need her?”
Takeshi sighs and his shoulders slump in defeat. “You know the answer already. She belongs to us now.”
I go to hug my husband with all the gratitude in my heart when a thought stops me. “You aren’t just saying that because you think I’ll leave you for her, are you? Because we’ve talked about you giving into what I want for the wrong reasons.”
“Get your ass over here.”
I jump to follow Takeshi’s demand by sitting on his lap. He wraps his arms around me and I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I want her and she needs us. Fuck, now I understand how Katsuo felt when Portia fell apart after confessing to him about her abortion. I hate this powerless feeling.” He grips me tighter.
“Me, too.”
The bathroom door opens and Lakeshia walks in with a renewed air of confidence so different from the panic minutes ago. Takeshi and I remain wrapped in each other’s arms but Lakeshia is our focal point.
“Thank you for giving me space. I’m ready to try again.”