9. Adam
nine
Adam
I 'm not leaving this room ever again. Every time I do, I make piss poor decisions. The most egregious of which is that I have Essa bite me. And I don't even do it in a normal way. No, that'd be too easy. Proper communication skills. Who needs those when I can try to punch Essa to get her to sink those pretty white fangs deep into my shoulder?
Even sitting on the bed now, thinking about it, has my cock stiffening in my pants. Not to mention just how much touching she and Seth did four nights ago. I keep replaying those memories over and over again in my mind, wanting to know how far they would've gone if Essa didn't get upset because she heard a noise.
"You still moping?" Seth asks me as he comes out of the bathroom, bright curls damp from the shower and face pink from the steam.
"I'm not moping," I grumble, turning away from him.
I am one thousand percent moping, but he would be, too, if he learned that he was really kind of into getting drugged with some weird alien venom that relaxes him and being called a good boy while being taken care of. It doesn't fit me at all. I take care of others. I protect others. What I don't do—or shouldn't do—is get high off alien venom and almost come in my pants from being told how good I am. It's pathetic. It's also the only thing on my mind recently.
"You know some of us are actually getting along real well with the others on the crew," Seth says, dropping the towel from around his waist with a loud thump as it hits the floor.
He wants me to turn around and wants to get my attention by alerting me that he's naked and ripe for my picking. It's scary how easily he can read me, but then again, he was experimented on to pick up on body language and emotional cues. Fucker's probably listening in on my thoughts, too. I've been bad about keeping my mind open to him recently.
I fight the urge to turn around, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of getting me to ogle him while I'm hard, thinking about fangs and venom and being called a good boy. At least he hasn't said anything about that except for the morning after the first time Essa drugged me. He called me a good boy right before I came, and I almost murdered him because I came way harder than ever before.
"Don't get too attached," I say, trying to sound gruff and uninterested even though I'm more than interested now.
Essa's wormed her way into Seth's heart, and I should hate her for it. Anytime I try to, I think about how they both touched me, how they both wanted to have me, take me, and care for me. I don't know what to do with the feelings. I'm not supposed to have any strong feelings toward anyone but Seth because he was bonded to me during our experiments. But Essa is wiggling her way into this, and I don't know what to do about it. Especially since it's not like we'll be able to be with her permanently.
I was going to pick a fight with her last night after she got done talking with Sloane. But when I saw her, sadness leeching into her features, a defeated slump in her shoulders, I couldn't pick another fight with her. I might be a god awful male, but I still know not to kick a female when she's down.
Okay, maybe I would've if this had been a few days earlier, but something in her face made my cold, dead heart ache. I couldn't very well swing at her when she looked like she might be on the verge of tears. So, I came back into the room, undrugged, and curled up with Seth in the bed.
"Am I the one who needs to worry about getting attached?" Seth asks, moving into my line of sight now that he has a pair of jeans pulled up. He buttons them, hiding that patch of red hair from me just as quickly as he gives me a glimpse. He's being a tease right now, and I know it's because he wants something.
"Yeah, you're the one who needs to worry about it," I snap, sounding more petty and irritable than I want. He's going to see through me.
"Alright, well, since I'm not the one who's getting too attached for his own good, I'm going to the kitchen to see if Essa's there. If she's not, I'm going to search for her on the ship and see if she wants to hang out. Since you're not attached or anything, I'm sure you won't care."
I grip my knees so hard my knuckles turn white, and my glare is hard as I stare at Seth. He knows how to play me perfectly.
"I don't care at all." I sound like someone who cares way too much.
Seth smiles before leaving the bedroom, not even bothering to wear a shirt. I stare at the dimples on his lower back, wanting to pull him back into the room, maybe press my thumbs into those dimples as I ride him. I let out a slow exhale as I force myself to sit right on the edge of the bed.
I will not chase after him. I will not try to fight Essa again. I will remain right here until the pirates come to get us and give us our new identities.
The more I get used to losing myself in Essa's venom, the harder it'll be to leave. I already have sick thoughts like asking her to join our relationship and maybe see if we can work something out between the three of us.
Nope, no way am I going to let that happen. I can't. My goal is to keep Seth safe, and I do that by not getting attached to Essa and by getting us new identities on a new planet that won't care about our backgrounds being erased.
Entertainment room now! Seth's voice rings in my head, and I shoot from the bed.
I'm still only in my boxers, but when Seth is worried–when he calls for me–I go. I could be in the middle of a shower or going to the bathroom. It doesn't matter. He comes first, and he will always come first.
I sprint down the hall, my heart racing at what kind of danger he could be in. It's not until I turn the corner and see him standing near the door with his head leaning close to it that I let out a long exhale.
He's safe, he's fine. I pad over to him, wanting to ask why he sounded so worried when he called me down here, but he holds a finger to his mouth before tapping his temple. I give him a short nod and close my eyes, letting his mind meld with mine so he doesn't have to work so hard to tell me what's going on.
My senses prickle as the connection snaps into place, and I have to fight back the need to be in control. I don't get to be in charge when we're like this. I can only keep alert for outside dangers and be ready to act if someone comes up to us while we're connected. The world dims for a moment, and then my senses heighten, my mind now attuned to what Seth is seeing, hearing, and feeling.
"Essa, we need you to calm down." Alik's voice is faint at first, growing louder as my mind melds to Seth's.
We're listening to a conversation in the entertainment room even though the door is shut, and something is playing on the comm screen to drown out the sounds of their conversation. I guess they still don't know all of Seth's secrets, even though he's been hanging out with them daily.
"He's forcing her to marry him!" Essa's voice is filled with a wild fury I've never heard before. She's not just mad but desperate and scared too. "My parents died last night, and he's already forcing her to marry him. She hasn't even had time to grieve!"
Oh fuck. I'm glad I didn't pick a fight with Essa last night. Was that why she was upset? Her parents just died? And there I was, trying to figure out how best to attack her so I wouldn't hurt her on accident so she could stick her fangs in my shoulder and take care of me.
Selfish fucking bastard. But it's not like that's a surprise.
"I understand, but we can't help you unless you calm down," Alik's voice wavers, fear in those words. Oh, Essa must look truly terrifying. The thought has my lip twitching, and the emotion flows to Seth, who hits my arm as though to remind me that she has just lost her parents. I tamp the smile down and scowl instead.
"I have to go back," Essa says, ignoring Alik's statement. "I have to go to Haven III. I can fix this. She doesn't have to be in a loveless marriage, not to that male."
"So what?" Alik asks. "Are you going to go back and marry him yourself?"
Like hell she's going to marry anyone. I want to go into the entertainment room and tell her she's being stupid.
Now, I want to pick a fight with her because it might take her mind off marrying someone else. Especially thinking about it when she still has Seth on this ship to keep her company. Not that he's allowed to do more than be friendly with her, but I've eased up on how much I hate them interacting. Probably because I like having both of their hands all over my body.
"I need to go to Haven III," Essa's voice is more resigned. "My sister doesn't deserve this. It was my responsibility."
"Let us go with you," Alik says.
"You can't. It's not safe for you on Haven III. It's not safe for any of you. I don't know the reception I'll get, and it only takes one bite for any of you to be made complacent."
Her answer has me wanting to ask her why she thinks it'll be safe for her then, but I don't need to. Alik is already on it.
"So we just leave you to do this on your own? You want to put yourself in danger instead?"
"I won't be in nearly as much as you would. No one will bite me, but I can't say the same about you or anyone else who comes with me."
"I'm not letting you go alone."
"The only protection I can give anyone on that planet is my venom in their veins and my collar on their necks. Seeing as you and Jovi have bond marks, no one will believe you're my concubines." Essa's voice is harder than I like. I want to smooth it out and get her back to purring soft things. "I'm not taking Sloane or Avery because they're small, weak humans. Phial isn't going because I don't trust him not to make a mess of the whole thing. I doubt Avery would like me marking him either."
"So you're going alone?" Alik asks, this time sounding resigned to the idea.
I gnash my teeth, wanting him to fight her on it more. Obviously, she doesn't want to do whatever she's sacrificing herself for, but she's determined. I shake my head, not needing to hear anymore. Seth stiffens as I force our minds to disconnect. As I blink my eyes, I see the same determination on his face as I feel on my own.
"I'll contact the pirates. You need to figure out what we need to do to go with her," Seth tells me.
We're more on the same page about this than we've been about anything in a long time. The great part about it is that once we both decide something's going to happen, it'll happen. It's how we escaped, how we've stayed hidden, and how we've been together for so long. We're stubborn in that way, and nothing will stop us from making sure Essa doesn't marry whoever this guy is who's trying to force her sister.
"We do anything to help her," Seth tells me, his gaze locking onto mine, needing to hear from my lips that we're doing this.
"Anything," I confirm, not giving myself time to think about why I already feel so strongly about Essa.
Seth runs down the hall toward our room, where our comm is stashed. He'll contact the males who were going to get us our new identities and transport us to a new planet. They're set to come pick us up tomorrow, a fact we might've neglected to mention to the rest of the crew.
Seth hasn't said anything because he's been getting friendly with them and didn't want it to impact how they treat him. We don't have many friends since we're always on the run, and having this group so inviting has been hard for him since he knows it'll end. I haven't said anything for reasons. Ones I don't want to think about because if I do, I might have to admit to myself that I'm feeling things I don't want to for someone I don't want to feel them for.
At this point, denying it is more pathetic, but I'm not good with emotions or feelings, so silence is the best I have for anyone about how things have progressed this far.
I pass by the room Seth and I are sharing on my way to Essa's. I doubt my hand will open it, but who knows? Maybe she's so trusting that she leaves it open to anyone. I step up to the door, and it opens automatically. I give it a look of surprise, but I'm not about to tell Essa now that she needs to be more careful.
The room is small. Much smaller than mine, and for some reason, that pisses me off. The more I stare at the space, the more upset I get. A tiny bed tucked against one wall, a dresser with three drawers, a whiteboard on wheels near the wall, and that's it. The attached bathroom is barely big enough for me to turn my body in, and I have to duck as I do, which means she's probably hunched over in here because of her height and her horns.
I grind my teeth, reminding myself I have other things to deal with than how she somehow has the worst room on the whole ship. Especially when I know for a fact there's an unused room somewhere on the ship from their last copilot.
"Why are you in here?" a disembodied voice asks me from the doorway of Essa's room. Phial's scales start to shimmer in what looks like an empty doorway, and they don't stop until his green scales are back in place.
"Essa's doing something stupid, and none of you can go with her," I say, crossing my arms over my chest, not caring that I'm still in only boxers. Phial's completely naked, so I'm not about to be embarrassed about how I look. His eyes narrow on me until they're tiny little slits.
"What's happening?" he asks, obviously not liking that he's the last to know about something.
I give him the briefest rundown of what Seth and I know because as much as I'd love not to have to deal with him, I could use his help in figuring out how to convince Essa to take us with her. I don't like thinking about her being alone on a planet she ran away from, where she's being forced to marry someone she doesn't want to.
"You'll have to be her concubines," Phial says, frowning in an almost cartoonish way as he says the words.
He doesn't wait for me to say anything about that before squeezing past me in the tiny room and pulling out a drawer underneath her bed. There's some shuffling as he moves other things out of the way. He winces as he pulls out a wooden box and sets it on the bed.
The latch snaps as Phial eyes me warily. He lifts the lid, opening it to reveal glittering silver chains attached to black leather straps. I step closer, peering over Phial's shoulder, trying to determine what they are. They're too small to be belts, and the chains don't make much sense. It isn't until Phial lifts one out of the box and I get a good view of it that I understand what it is.
I stumble backward, my hand instinctively going to my throat as I look at the leather collar in Phial's hands. I understand why he looked so worried.
I'm not scared of the collar. I'm not scared of anything. But seeing that collar in his hands, knowing I might have to wear it if I want to help Essa? I scramble over to a waste bin near the door and throw up.