Essence of his Soul

Chapter 1

A grin slid across my face as I whipped my Denali off the interstate.

I’m back, baby!

The Army? Man, it had taken everything I had and then some. I rolled with it and did what I had to do, but those holidays away from home? Yeah, those hit differently. Two long years in Korea, and now here I was, finally touching down on U.S. soil. Six weeks of leave, no strings attached. I was ready to soak up every damn second.

Rolling past the mall, I couldn’t help but laugh. Delaware’s finest were out there trying to untangle the mess of holiday shoppers with their whistleblowing and hand signals like they were in the middle of a championship football game. Christmas was creeping up fast, and folks were swarming the parking lot like their lives depended on it. I’d be in that mix tomorrow, trying to snag last-minute gifts like everybody else. And you know what? I wasn’t even mad about it. A brotha was actually looking forward to it for once.

I slid into Encino Estates, Wilmington’s little pocket of luxury, tucked away like a secret. The neighborhood was already doing it big for the holidays—lights strung up everywhere, wreaths on every door, Christmas trees shining through the windows. It was like I’d stepped right back into the past. Nothing had changed, and that was exactly how I wanted it. My parents’ crib? Oh, it was always the crown jewel of the block. I could already picture it—reindeers on the lawn, Santa posted on the roof like he owned the joint. As I hit their street, a chuckle slipped out. There he was, Old Saint Nick, doing his thing like always. I wondered who my mother had conned into getting up on that roof this year since Pop had retired from that game after his back went out a couple years back. As I stepped out of the truck, the cold slapped me like, Welcome home , soldier . Delaware winters? Yeah, they don’t play. But hearing that familiar laughter spilling out of the house? That was the real warmth right there. They had no clue I was back early. This little homecoming was gonna be a surprise worth more than any gift under the tree. Sure, I could’ve called ahead and gave them a heads-up, but where’s the fun in that? Seeing the look on my mom’s face when she opened the door? That was about to be priceless.

Seconds after the doorbell rang, Kelly swung the door open, arms crossed and attitude on full display. “Look at you,” I said, grinning down at my five-foot-three baby sis.

My little sister might’ve grown up, but no matter how grown she thought she was, she’d always be my kid sister. Petite frame and all, she’d inherited Mom’s slim figure, but that deep mocha complexion? All Pop. And that old-school ponytail she used to rock as a kid? Gone. Now she had this fly, natural curly cut framing her face. Real grown-woman vibes.

“Whassup, Kel?” I opened my arms, expecting the warm hug that never came. Instead, she hit me with a look that could curdle milk. “Wow! That’s how you greet your big bro after two years?” I teased, shaking my head. Kelly just rolled her cinnamon-brown eyes and hit me with the one-two punch.

“Be glad you’re even allowed in this house.” She spun on her heel with a dismissive wave, leaving me at the door.

I chuckled under my breath, stepping inside and closing the door behind me. Some things never changed.

“Yo, Kel!” I called, following her into the foyer. “What’d I do now?” Without even looking back, she shot over her shoulder, “You already know.”

I scratched my head, genuinely confused. What did I miss? Maybe it was because I forgot to call her on her 24th birthday last month.

Women , I thought, smirking to myself. Always a mystery. Can’t live with ’em, but I sure can’t live without ’em. And speaking of women, one fine sister had been on my mind since I landed. I needed to track her down and see what was up.

I shrugged off my leather jacket and hung it on the coat rack. The familiar warmth of home wrapped around me as I moved across the gleaming hardwood floor into the kitchen. That smell? That was homemade chili, the kind that instantly pulled me back to childhood.

Mama was at the stove, stirring the pot, and when she heard me, she glanced over her shoulder. The surprise on her face was priceless.

“Mark, you’re home!” she said, dropping the spoon and coming over with a laugh.

“Hey, Mama.” I grinned like a kid again.

She pulled me into one of those hugs only mamas know how to give. “Welcome back.”

I hugged her tight, her arms always making everything feel right again. “Glad someone’s happy to see me,” I joked, kissing her cheek.

She held me at arm’s length, taking me in with teary eyes. “Let me look at you. Still the same... maybe a little lighter,” she said with a smile.

I chuckled. “A few pounds, maybe.”

Mama winked. “Well, we’ll fix that real quick.”

“I know how you do.” I looked down at her, thinking she hadn’t aged a day. Big, expressive eyes, smooth skin—she was where Kelly and I got our looks from, no doubt. But that love in her eyes? That’s what really made her beautiful.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming early?” she asked, her brow furrowing.

I flashed her a bigger smile. “Wanted to surprise you for Christmas.”

Her smile widened. “Best gift I could ask for. Wait ‘til your father hears. He’s gonna lose his mind.”

My dad, George Saunders—retired police commissioner, still spent his days hanging around the precincts. Old habits die hard.

Mama turned to Kelly, who was now sitting at the kitchen table, side-eyeing me like she had something to say.

“Kel, it looks like we’ll need to plan a big dinner for Christmas. Everyone’s going to be thrilled to see you, Mark.”

Kelly grunted, folding her arms. “Everyone except one person.”

I raised an eyebrow, a little cautious now. “Like whom?”

The whole vibe shifted. Silence hung in the air like a thick cloud.

I looked between Kelly and Mama, trying to figure out what I’d just stepped into.

“Somebody wanna fill me in?” I asked, frustrated.

Kelly sucked her teeth, her eyes narrowing like she was ready to swing. “How could you treat Essence like that?”

Essence?

Damn, just hearing her name sent a rush of memories through me. Sweet, sexy Essence Monroe. What did any of this have to do with her?

“I haven’t spoken to her since I left,” I said, trying to connect the dots.

Kelly leaned forward, her voice sharp. “Exactly. She told me.” She paused, then pointed at me like she was reading me my rights. “I told you to leave her alone if you weren’t serious. But you did what you always do. You had her, then left her high and dry. And you broke her heart.”

I blinked, completely thrown off. “Broke her heart?” I laughed nervously, pulling out a chair and dropping into it. “Where is all this coming from? What did she tell you?”

Kelly gave me that look she always gave when she was about to share some knowledge. “You seriously don’t know?” she asked, her tone skeptical. “Essence has a son. Your son.”

My heart stopped.

I leaned back in the chair, feeling like I’d just been hit by a freight train. “A son?” My voice cracked.

Mama stepped forward, eyes serious. “Tyler looks just like you.”

A son . The words knocked the wind out of me. Essence had a son, my son, and I didn’t know?

I dropped my head into my hands, trying to breathe through the confusion, the anger, the betrayal. How could she keep that from me?

I lifted my head, my voice strained. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

Kelly held my gaze momentarily, studying me, maybe looking for a sign that I knew more than I was letting on. But I didn’t.

“I didn’t know,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

Kelly’s voice softened. “You didn’t know?”

“No,” I snapped, my voice laced with frustration. “You think I’d just ignore my own kid? I never wanted a wife, but I wouldn’t walk away from my responsibilities.”

Mama stepped in, her voice calm but firm. “Mark, she said she wrote to you. Several times. But you never responded.”

“I never got any letters!” I barked. “I would’ve been there, no question. When I didn’t hear from her, I thought she moved on.” My heart pounded as I turned to Kelly. “Where is she?”

Kelly sighed, reluctant to speak. “She’s in Dover. But Essence doesn’t want to see you, Mark.”

“Too bad,” I shot back. “Where is she?”

After a long pause, Kelly said quietly, “She teaches at Dover Elementary.”

I was already on my feet, grabbing my jacket. “I’ll be back.”

There was no way I was leaving this alone. Time to find out the truth.

* * *

I adjusted the last of the small chairs around the table, making sure each one was lined up just right. Yeah, it was a small thing, but details mattered, and I wasn’t about to half-step when it came to my classroom. This was the space where I put my heart into shaping young minds. As chaotic as it got, seeing those kids light up when they learned something new? That made it all worth it.

I leaned back for a moment, letting the peace of the empty room settle over me. But then I heard footsteps, heavy ones. My mind went to the custodian making his rounds, but when I looked up, the sight in the doorway caught my breath. Mark Saunders.

The air seemed to shift, growing thick and heavy. My hands shook a little as I stood frozen, staring at him. Kelly told me Mark wasn’t supposed to be back until the spring, but there he was, filling the doorway like he owned the place. Tall, commanding, with that same presence I’d tried so hard to forget. “Hello, Essence.” His voice was low, smooth as silk, with that familiar pull. His eyes moved over me slowly, taking their time, lingering like they had all the time in the world.

“Hello, Mark.” I tried to keep my cool, but my pulse was racing, betraying me. Two years and the man still had this effect on me. Dammit. I willed myself to stay calm, to keep it together, but I couldn’t deny the truth—he was just as magnetic as ever.

He stepped into the classroom with that confidence he always carried, like he knew the room would bend to him. That swagger had drawn me in before when I was too naive to see what was coming. Now, it just felt like a warning.

“You don’t look happy to see me,” he said, almost like it was a challenge.

“Happy?” I forced a bitter laugh. “You thought I’d run into your arms?”

That damn smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, just cocky enough to remind me why I needed to stay away. “Wouldn’t have minded if you did,” he shot back.

Of course, he wouldn’t. Mark thought he could just waltz in like nothing had changed. But everything had. I wasn’t about to feed that ego, so I moved past him, taking the long way around to avoid getting too close.

“How’ve you been?” he asked, his tone casual, but I knew him well enough to catch the edge beneath it.

“I’ve been good. And you?” I kept my voice light, playing the game.

“Better now that I know I have a son,” Mark said, and just like that, all pretense dropped. His voice cut through the tension, his words hitting like a punch. He was coming for me, for Tyler. His jaw clenched, frustration rippling off him in waves.

“If you’d bothered to answer my letters, you might’ve known sooner,” I snapped, my voice sharper than I meant.

His face twisted into a frown. “I never got any letters,” he said, sounding like he believed it. Like he actually believed it.

“Yeah, okay,” I muttered, shrugging as I lowered myself into the chair behind my desk. “Doesn’t matter now. I went through nine months and eighteen hours of labor without you. I got this.”

Mark looked away, pacing with that restless energy I remembered all too well. His fist clenched and unclenched as he moved across the room. It was all too much, the anger, the confusion, the overwhelming urge to take back the last two years. But that wasn’t an option.

“I’m sorry, Essence. I didn’t know,” Mark said, his voice softer now. Maybe he was trying to sound sincere. But this apology? Too little, too late.

“No apology needed.” I laughed, grabbing my briefcase. “I’ve been doing fine without you.”

“I’m going to be in my son’s life,” he said, his tone firm, making it clear this wasn’t a request.

I stood up, meeting his gaze. “How long do you plan on playing the father role, Mark? Until you get bored? Until the Army calls you back?”

His jaw tightened, and we just stood there for a moment, locked in a silent standoff.

“I would never walk out on my son,” he said, his voice carrying that hard, undeniable edge.

I raised an eyebrow. “How do I know that? I haven’t seen you in two years. You disappeared. You didn’t even check.”

He stepped closer, his eyes burning with intensity. “That’s not on me. You should’ve told me.”

“I tried,” I said, my voice breaking for a split second. “I wrote you. I reached out. But you didn’t answer.”

The silence between us felt like it could snap at any moment. There was too much left unsaid, too much pain in the air.

“Fatherhood wasn’t in your plan, Mark. So why don’t you go back to playing soldier and leave us out of it?” The words came out before I could stop them, my voice tight with frustration. I didn’t want to need him. I didn’t want to rely on anyone but myself.

His expression hardened, his voice flat. “You decided to bring my son into this world. That makes me part of his life, whether you like it or not.”

My chest tightened, and panic started to rise. I wasn’t ready for this—for Mark.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway, snapping me back to reality. I glanced at the clock, seizing my chance to escape.

“Well, as much as I’d love to keep this conversation going, I’ve got somewhere to be.” I grabbed the case and moved toward the door.

Mark stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Give me your address. I’ll be by around six to see my son.”

The finality in his tone made it clear—there was no getting around this.

“This evening’s not a good time,” I tried, hoping he’d back down.

He leaned in, eyes blazing. “Essence, I’m home for a month and gonna spend every minute with my son. Starting tonight. Get used to it.”

Our eyes locked in a battle of wills, and I realized Mark wasn’t backing down.