Essence of his Soul

Chapter 2

I rolled up the gravel driveway, the crunch of rocks under my tires the only sound breaking the stillness of the evening. The ranch-style house stood there, looking like something out of a postcard with tall trees looming over it, their leaves scattered like a blanket across the lawn. I parked and stepped out, the cold December air hitting me harder than I expected—as it reminded me of everything I was about to walk into.

As I approached the house, my eyes locked on Essence’s blue Honda Civic parked in the driveway. That car seat in the back? Man, that hit different. Like a punch straight to the gut. My child had been born, taken his first breath, learned to walk, and I had missed it all. All those milestones played like a loop in my head, reminding me of moments I’d never get back.

I was a father. And behind those walls was my son—a son I might never have known about if Kelly hadn’t bumped into them at the mall. The thought burned me up inside. Had Essence really planned to keep my child from me?

There was only one way to find out.

I pulled my jacket tighter against the chill and stepped toward the front door. The doorbell echoed through the quiet, the sound settling like an omen of what was about to go down.

And then she opened the door.

Damn. Whatever anger or resentment had been building inside me took a backseat the second I saw her. Essence was even more stunning than I remembered. Gone was the teacher look—today, it was jeans that hugged her curves like they were custom-made and a T-shirt that made casual look sexy as hell. Her auburn-colored curls hung loose now, falling over her shoulders, framing those big, sienna-brown eyes. And that mole by her lips—now glossed with a hint of strawberry? Yeah, I’d missed that detail more than I realized.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my cool, pushing down the heat rising in my gut. I wasn’t here to focus on how good she looked. But it was hard to shake the memory of what it felt like to have her close. Too hard.

“Are you gonna invite me in, or you just gonna stand there?” I asked, my voice rougher than I meant it to be.

Essence tilted her head, giving me that look—half-amused, half-annoyed. “Depends. You going to stop frowning like that?”

I stepped closer, catching a whiff of her scent—soft, sweet, and damn near intoxicating. She smelled like home, like everything I’d been trying not to remember. “I just found out I got a son, Essence. How do you think I feel?” I asked, the frustration slipping into my tone.

Her gaze softened just a little. “I’m not sure,” she admitted, her voice dropping, almost vulnerable.

I held her eyes, searching for something. “Did you forget about me?” I asked, the weight of those few weeks hanging between us.

“Did you forget about me?” she shot back, her stance solid, eyes still locked on mine, unflinching.

“I haven’t forgotten a damn thing,” I said, my voice low. Not the fire in her eyes when things heated, nor how her stubbornness turned into passion in a heartbeat. That fire was still there, burning just as bright as the day I left.

Her chin lifted, stubborn as always. “You might not believe it, but I intended to tell you.”

I wanted to believe her. God, I wanted to, but trust? That was something I couldn’t hand out easily anymore. I’d been burned too many times by too many people. But looking at Essence, seeing the mix of defiance and something close to honesty in her eyes, that doubt crept in. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe not. But the sting of her keeping something like this from me cut deep.

“It’s cold out here. Are you gonna let me in, or we doing this on the porch?” I asked, the tension in the air thick enough to cut through.

“I guess I’ll have to since you’re not giving me much of a choice,” she said, her tone softening, though I could hear the reluctance.

“You’ve always had a choice,” I said, holding her gaze, not letting up. “Invite me in.”

For a second, the air between us was buzzing with everything unsaid. The kind of tension that had you rethinking your next move. Then she dropped her eyes and stepped aside, letting me in.

I shrugged off my jacket as I entered her house. The warmth hit me first, but I barely noticed it. Essence took my jacket and hung it in the closet, moving slow like she was trying to delay what was coming next. She gestured for me to follow her. My eyes couldn’t help but catch the sway of her hips as she walked. I quickly looked away, forcing myself to focus on the living room.

The space was cozy. White walls, hardwood floors, and neutral furniture. It didn’t just look like a house—it felt like a home. But what grabbed my attention wasn’t the fireplace or the modest Christmas tree. It was the toys scattered in the corner. That right there? That was a knife to the heart. Those toys belonged to my son; I hadn’t even known he existed.

“I need to know why?” I asked, the words sharp as they left my mouth.

Essence stiffened, the warmth from earlier fading. “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”

We did. But until I get the truth, we’re gonna keep having it,” I shot back, my patience wearing thin, frustration bubbling over.

She let out a sigh, long and heavy. “I told you, Mark. I called. I sent three letters. You never responded to a single one.”

I am a military intelligence officer. When I left Delaware, I hopped on a military aircraft for a top-secret mission where they don’t play—no personal cell phones allowed. “Then you should have contacted my unit.”

Essence crossed her arms, her jaw tightening like she was bracing herself for battle. “Just pick up the phone, call your unit, and what? Have them patch me—a four-week fling—through to you? You weren’t exactly reachable, Mark.”

Her words hit me like a slap, but I wasn’t backing down. “I deserved to know about my son.”

She stepped closer, eyes blazing with the fire I remembered all too well. “You think I didn’t try? You were off doing your thing, living your life, and I was here, trying to figure out mine. I called you. No answer. I sent those letters. No response. I waited for weeks. Nothing. So, yeah, I stopped trying. I had to think about my son.”

Her voice softened when she said, " My son ," and something in my chest tightened. Tyler wasn’t just her son. He was ours , and the fact that I had missed the beginning of his life, the chance to hold and watch him grow, tore me up inside.

“You could’ve tried harder,” I muttered, the anger simmering under my skin.

Essence’s lips pressed into a thin line, her patience clearly wearing thin. “ Tried harder ? I was pregnant and confused, Mark. I didn’t have time to sit around waiting for you to return. I had to survive, to prepare for a child without knowing what the hell was going on with you.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck. She wasn’t wrong. While I was halfway across the world, serving our country, Essence had been fighting hers alone. And now, I had the nerve to be angry? The frustration I felt toward her started to twist into something else, something heavier.

She shook her head, her voice dropping. “Do you think I wanted it to be this way? Do you think I enjoyed keeping that secret, carrying that weight? You weren’t here, Mark. You walked out of my life.”

* * *

I wanted you to contact me because you missed me, not because I was pregnant.

Of course, there was no way I would say that, so instead, I met his gaze with quiet defiance.

“Essence, I asked you a question,” Mark’s voice was deep and commanding, like he was trying to pull rank. “Regardless of the circumstances, you should have told me.”

The nerve of him, coming in here with that energy like he had any right to demand answers after all this time. I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my cool, but the audacity was getting to me.

“If I remember correctly, you made it crystal clear you weren’t looking for any type of commitment.”

“Commitment?” he repeated, his voice rising like he couldn’t believe what I was saying. “We’re not talking about a commitment, Essence. We’re talking about my son!”

“Can you lower your voice before you wake him?” I hissed, my patience hanging by a thread.

“Where is he?” Mark’s voice dropped to a whisper, his eyes darting past me like he could somehow see Tyler if he looked hard enough.

“He’s asleep,” I said, a mix of pride and warning in my voice.

His eyes locked on mine again, and even though I tried to play it cool, I felt my heart skip a beat. “I want to see him,” he said, his voice raw with a kind of vulnerability I wasn’t expecting.

“He spent the day with my parents—they took him to see Santa at the mall.” I couldn’t help but smile, remembering how cute Tyler had looked in his little holiday outfit. “He’s probably down for the night. Why don’t you come back tomorrow?”

But Mark was always stubborn, and I could see it in his eyes now. “Nah, not happening. I’ll wait,” he said, dropping down on my sofa. Arms crossed, his posture screamed he had no plans to move. I sighed to myself. As much as I wanted him out of my space, a tiny part of me couldn’t help but feel something warm seeing him care this much.

“What did you tell your parents?” he asked suddenly, tension creeping into his voice.

I blinked, thrown off by the change in subject. “About what?”

“About Tyler’s father,” he ground out like the words left a bad taste in his mouth.

I shrugged, playing it cool even though his questions started unraveling my nerves. “I told them what they needed to know. I’m grown, or did you forget that?”

“I didn’t forget,” he muttered, his eyes tracing over me too slowly before they landed back on my face. “But I also didn’t forget your father is a Baptist minister.”

His words made me squirm. The intensity of his gaze and the way he was getting under my skin was too much. I hated that he could still make me feel this vulnerable. “I told them the truth,” I said, my voice shaky. “I told them I’d try again to find you when it was time.”

“When would that have been, Essence? After he started college?”

I clenched my jaw, my frustration rising. “Before Tyler started asking questions. That’s when.”

“I plan to provide for my child,” Mark announced, his voice low but intense, his eyes boring into mine like he was challenging me to argue.

“I don’t need your help,” I snapped, standing my ground, trying to hold onto some control in this conversation.

“What about what I need?” he shot back, his tone sharp.

“And what’s that?” I asked, crossing my arms, still trying to keep that edge in my voice even though I knew where this was heading.

“I need to be a father to my son,” he said, and this time, there was no room for argument in his voice. “If it was up to you, I wouldn’t even know he existed.”

Those words stung because they held a truth I didn’t want to admit. Mark had a right to be here, to know his child. But the idea of him being a permanent part of our lives scared the hell out of me.

Mark leaned in, closing the distance between us. His voice softened, almost pleading. “Talk to me, Essence. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried,” I said, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were only half true.

“No, you didn’t,” he said, shaking his head. “Even if those letters didn’t reach me—which they didn’t—you could’ve contacted my unit. They would’ve made sure I knew I had a son.”

“And then what, Mark?” I snapped, my patience finally cracking. “You would’ve what? Called on Christmas?”

“I would’ve been here, Essence,” he said, his voice steady but laced with hurt. “I would’ve been there when he was born.”

Those words landed hard, and I couldn’t breathe for a moment. Mark was right. He wasn’t heartless. When he left Delaware, he had no intentions of returning to me. Tyler changed everything, and we both knew it.

“You’re right,” I whispered, my guard dropping just enough to let the truth slip through. “You have a right to be in his life. I was scared... scared you wouldn’t care.”

Mark shook his head slowly, disappointment written all over his face. “That’s what you think of me?”

“I didn’t know what to think,” I admitted, my voice small. But deep down, I knew better. I knew Mark wasn’t some heartless man. Even in the short time we were together, I saw the goodness in him. I didn’t want to get hurt again.

“You think I didn’t care?” he asked, his voice low, eyes searching mine. “You think I forgot about you? Forgot about us?”

I looked away, my anger and pain swirling together. “That’s what I thought.”

He leaned in closer, his voice a husky whisper. “You’re wrong. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you, Essence. Those weeks we shared weren’t just a fling to me.” He licked his lips, and I felt the heat between us rising. “I still remember the way you sound calling my name. I remember how you taste…, the way it feels inside you.”

My breath caught as he spoke, every word pulling me back to memories I had tried to bury. His eyes were locked on mine, and for a second, I felt like I was falling back into something I wasn’t ready for.

I jumped up from the chair, needing space. “All that’s in the past, Mark,” I said, my voice shaky as I tried to regain control.

He watched me with that same fire in his eyes, but I wasn’t about to get pulled in. I handed him the remote, avoiding his gaze. “While you wait, make yourself at home,” I mumbled before fleeing to the kitchen, needing to put distance between me and the man who still knew how to shake my whole world.

* * *

When Essence returned to the room, I couldn’t help but watch how her hips moved. Those yoga pants were doing the most, hugging every curve like they were tailor-made for her. That pert ass, those slim thighs... man, she had my mouth watering. It was like time hadn’t touched a thing about her. My hands practically itched, wanting to trace the smooth curves I knew all too well. She moved around, picking up a stack of mail on the coffee table. I saw the everyday chaos in her world—laundry piled up in the corner, toys all over the floor. With a toddler running around, I couldn’t imagine how she found time for herself. Sleep? Yeah, that probably felt like a luxury to her now.

Looking closer, I could see the toll it was taking on her. She still had that beauty that stopped me, but the puffiness under her eyes? That was new. The strain of doing this solo was written all over her face.

I tossed the remote back on the coffee table and stood up. “Let me help,” I said, meaning it.

Essence glanced over her shoulder, shaking her head like she wasn’t trying to hear it. “Nah, I’m good. I don’t need any help.”

I wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “I insist.” Before she could argue, I grabbed the basket of clothes sitting by the TV and started folding them, laying out neat stacks on the couch like it was no big deal.

She paused, watching me for a second before asking, “You want something to eat?” She was stepping back, trying to keep some space between us, but her eyes were giving her away.

I smirked, then turned around, holding a pair of her silky, lace-trimmed panties. “Oh, what’s this?” I teased, holding them up like they were a prize.

“Give me those,” she muttered, her lips twitching like she was fighting back a smile. She snatched them out of my hand, but not fast enough to miss the glint in my eye.

I chuckled, enjoying how I was getting under her skin. “Still rocking blue, huh? Some things never change.”

Essence shot me a look, caught between laughing and playing it safe. She grabbed the laundry basket from me like she was cutting off the fun. “You want to help? Then pick up your son’s toys,” she said, rolling her eyes before turning on her heels and walking out of the room.

And there it was—that sway. That walk. The wolf inside me howled, heat shooting straight down to my groin. Damn! I quickly dropped back down on the couch, ensuring she didn’t catch what was happening below the belt.

Down, boy , I told myself, trying to get it together. But it wasn’t easy. I closed my eyes for a second, and there she was, standing in front of me like she used to—those blue panties hugging her curves, teasing me. I had to breathe, trying to calm the fire inside me. Essence always had that effect on me. Even now, after all this time. As I closed my eyes, memories rushed in like a flood...

I was lying across the bed, my eyes on the bathroom door. Essence stepped out, her presence instantly filling the room.

“What do you think?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe like she owned the space—and at that moment, she did.

She stood there, looking like a dream wrapped in blue lace. A matching bra and panties clung to her curves, showing off everything that had me losing my mind. My breath caught in my throat as I let my gaze trail over her body, taking in every inch of her, the thin fabric barely covering what I knew by heart. For a stolen moment, it was just us, and nothing else mattered.

“C’mere,” I whispered, my voice low but filled with that hunger that was clawing its way to the surface.

Essence didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. She sauntered to the bed with that slow, confident stride that had my pulse kicking into overdrive. Her hips swayed with each step, pulling me deeper under her spell. When she reached the edge of the bed, she paused, her eyes locking onto mine, and in that moment, everything else faded.

She reached up, pulling the pins from her hair, letting those thick, natural strands cascade down over her bare shoulders. My breath hitched as she stood there, her hair framing her face and flowing like a halo of temptation. But it was her eyes—those deep, intense eyes—that had me. They were filled with the same fire and smoldering need that had been building up between us since I walked into her life. I could feel the heat between us, thick and undeniable, making it hard to think straight. All I could do was gaze up at her, letting that hunger take over, wiping out every rational thought I might’ve had. I reached for her, my fingers brushing against the soft skin of her waist, my body reacting to the warmth of her skin.

Essence leaned down, close enough for me to smell the faint hint of her perfume—sweet and intoxicating. Her breath was warm against my skin, and I could feel the tension crackling like a live wire, ready to snap.

“Are you sure you can handle this?” she teased, her voice soft but laced with a challenge. A slow grin spread across my face, my eyes locking with hers, pulling her closer.

“I’ve never backed down before, and I’m not about to start now.”

Essence’s lips curled into a smirk as she slid onto the bed, her body pressing against mine. The feel of her skin. The warmth of her breath. The heat of our connection was impossible to ignore. She was dangerous, and I was ready to fall headfirst into the fire. And just like that, we were lost.

“Damn,” I hissed. I stared down into the intense desire burning in her depths. A soft sigh escaped her lips. “You’re so sexy,” I murmured, then swooped in and covered her mouth with mine. The kiss was greedy and demanding. Her lips were warm and persuasive. Our tongues twined and merged in a hot, wet assault. As passion ignited, mine grew wild and wicked. I moved down the smooth line of her neck to her collarbone and then to her breasts, teasing her nipples to tingling peaks beneath the thin, silky fabric. A moan slipped from her lips. I unhooked her bra. Essence’s breasts spilled into my hands. Eyes locked, I lifted one to my mouth, my lips suckling and teasing her nipple possessively.

“Mark,” she moaned, arching into my hand.

Reached down, I slipped my hand inside her panties, then slid them down off her hips and down around her ankles…

A child’s cries yanked me back to reality. My mind had been clouded with old memories and desires, but all that vanished when I heard the soft sounds of a child crying.

Essence reappeared in the doorway, her voice calm and soft, slicing through the tension in the room like a gentle breeze. “Your son is awake.”

In an instant, the vibe shifted. The unspoken heat between us evaporated, replaced with something heavier, something real. I followed her down the hallway, my chest tight with anticipation, fear, and something I hadn’t expected. Hope. Each step made it harder to breathe, knowing that on the other side of that door was the boy who would change everything.

We stopped in front of a bedroom, and all I could see was Essence’s hand on the doorknob, steady and sure. She pushed it open to reveal a room decked out in bright Mickey Mouse colors, but I barely noticed the decorations. My focus was locked on the crib in the corner and the small body stirring inside.

Essence moved with the kind of grace and ease that came from practice. She leaned over the crib’s wooden bars with a tenderness that made my chest tighten in a way I wasn’t ready for. Her smile lit up her whole face as she lifted a chubby-legged little boy into her arms. His giggles were instant, filling the room with pure joy. Essence turned to me, her eyes glowing with pride. “Meet your son, Tyler.”

Those words hit me like a tidal wave. My breath caught in my throat as I stepped forward, my eyes locking onto him. Your son . He had a round, cherubic face, full of life, with dark curls sprouting from his head, just like mine. And those eyes—wide, golden-brown eyes that looked up at me with curiosity and innocence- hit me deep. They were my mother’s eyes, no doubt about it. The resemblance was undeniable, just like Kelly had said.

My son.

“Hey, Lil’ man,” I whispered, my voice rough, thick with everything I was feeling—love, fear, joy, and a whole lot of damn, this is real .

Essence watched me, her face softening in a way I hadn’t seen before. Her pride was unmistakable, but there was something else in her eyes—something that reminded me she had done this alone. She could’ve made a different choice, but she didn’t. She brought my son into this world, raised him without me, and that hit harder than anything I’d ever experienced.

Tyler yawned, his little fist rubbing his eyes in that sleepy, innocent way that made me want to scoop him up and never let go. Slowly, I reached out, my hand trembling just a little, needed to touch him to make sure he was real. And then, without hesitation, Tyler grabbed my finger, his tiny hand gripping me like he knew who I was. At that moment, I was done. My heart caved, and I fell in love.

Essence didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. The look on her face told me she had been waiting for this moment, for me to see what I had missed. As I stood there, my finger locked in my son’s grip, I knew nothing in my life would ever be the same.

Mark looked so nervous that it was almost cute. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, totally thrown by how he was handling this moment. I’d expected many things from him, but seeing him like this wasn’t one of them. For goodness’ sake, this man was an officer in the United States Army! Soldiers were trained to be tough and face fear head-on, but he was hesitant, standing before his son like he was stepping into the unknown. It touched me in ways I hadn’t anticipated.

“He’s handsome,” Mark finally said, his voice soft as his eyes stayed glued to Tyler.

“Yeah, he is,” I agreed, watching him gently trace a finger along Tyler’s tiny arm. My baby stared at his father like he knew who he was.

“Just like his father.”

Mark’s eyes flicked up to meet mine, and in that moment, we shared something words couldn’t touch. It was like a silent acknowledgment of everything that had happened between us and everything that was still ahead.

“We did this,” he whispered, and I could feel my heart swell a little more.

“You want to hold him?” I asked, my voice softer than I intended, the vulnerability at the moment sneaking up on me.

The corner of Mark’s mouth twitched into a smile. “You know I do.”

As Mark held out his arms, Tyler leaned over with his tiny hands reaching out, and I couldn’t help but gasp. Tyler had never gone to anyone so quickly before.

Mark scooped him up, cradling him close, and I just stood there, watching. Watching as my son stared up at his father, and his father stared right back, completely mesmerized. It was like Tyler knew who this man was to him, who we were. His parents.

“He’s perfect,” Mark murmured, leaning down to press a kiss on top of Tyler’s head. “From his curly hair to his little toes.”

“Yes,” I nodded, feeling that familiar tug in my chest. “He’s my whole world.” Tyler could have had nine fingers or two heads, and I’d still love him with everything I had.

Tyler started to get fussy, squirming in Mark’s arms, a tiny whimper escaping his lips. He leaned back toward me, reaching out for his mama. I could tell Mark wasn’t ready to let him go, but he handed him over, their moment ending. As he passed Tyler back, our fingers brushed—just a light touch—but the heat that shot through me was instant. I knew Mark felt it, too; the way my breath caught didn’t go unnoticed. When I glanced up, he looked at me with the same intensity he had for our son.

“I’m gonna be in my son’s life,” Mark said, his voice low, but its firmness was undeniable. “Do you have any objections?”

His nearness, the fire in his eyes, had me stumbling over my words. “Do you have any objections?”

I barely managed to get out, “I’ll get used to it.”

Mark nodded, his hand gently stroking the top of Tyler’s head. “I can’t believe how much he looks like me,” he said, almost in awe.

“I guess you don’t need a blood test,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood before things got too heavy.

Mark raised an eyebrow, giving me that look. “Hell no. This is my son,” he said, his tone firm, no hesitation. “Or do I have a reason to think otherwise?”

I quickly shook my head. “No, of course not.”

Mark’s hand slid under my chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze again. His eyes held mine for a beat before he murmured, “Good answer.”

And just like that, he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. It was like time stood still. My breath hitched, my heart pounded, and all the air seemed to evaporate from the room. He didn’t push, didn’t try to make it more than what it was, but that kiss carried weight—memories, unsaid words, unresolved feelings. All of it flooded back in that instant. The kiss wasn’t demanding but lingered, filled with something deeper. Something that had never really gone away. What was it about him that made me weak when he touched me? Mark then changed the tempo of the kiss, devouring my mouth like a thirsty man taking his first drink of water after being denied for days. I gripped the crib rail because my knees threatened to give out. I tried to retreat, but Mark wrapped his arms around me and our son and held tight. Tyler fussed, then reached up and touched my face. The instant I felt his small hand, I pulled back slightly, feeling Mark’s warm breath still lingering on my skin. The space between us was charged, electric, but I couldn’t let myself fall into it. Not again.

“Mark...” I started, trying to sound firm, but the way my voice wavered gave me away. I had to look away, focus on Tyler in my arms, anything to break the tension growing between us. “This is about our son, not us.”

“I know,” he said quietly, his voice calm, but I could hear the pull in it, like he was still holding on to something more. “But don’t act like there’s nothing still between us, Essence. That kiss didn’t come from nowhere.”

I swallowed hard, shifting Tyler in my arms to distract myself. I looked at the adorable grin on his face, smiled, and squeezed his little fingers before allowing my gaze to shift back to Mark. There was something in his gaze that scattered my thoughts and induced an instant fluttering sensation that reached everything within me. Being around him was going to be the challenge of my life. Keep your distance , a lethal voice in my head whispered. Yes, I had to be smarter and make wiser decisions. I didn’t mean to let him kiss me, but curiosity had taken over. I had wondered if I would have the same gut-level reaction if he kissed me again.

And I had.

“A kiss doesn’t change the fact that two years went by, Mark.”

“I know,” he said again, more firmly this time. “And now I’m not going anywhere,” he added, stepping closer. His hand reached Tyler’s head again, stroking those soft curls with a tenderness that melted and scared me. “I’m going to be here. For him and for you.”

There it was, laid out plain and simple. Mark wasn’t just talking about being Tyler’s father. He was talking about us, about trying to pick up the pieces of something that had been broken for too long. My protective walls shot up instantly, but at the same time, I couldn’t deny the flicker of warmth in my chest.

“You don’t get to just come back and fix everything, Mark,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady and remind myself of all the nights I spent crying, feeling abandoned, wondering where I stood in his world. “It’s not that simple.”

He nodded as if he’d expected that. “I’m not asking for simple. I’m asking for a chance.” He stepped even closer, his presence making it impossible to focus on anything but him.

“Expect me in your life, Essence,” he warned, his tone serious, a promise lingering in his words. An intimate warmth traveled up my arm and spread through my body, leaving me momentarily unsure how we would make this work.

He caressed my cheek, and I was ridiculously weakened by his touch. Mark looked down at me, and I instantly studied his mouth, still feeling those full lips moving confidently over mine. I needed to get away fast.

Mark pressed his lips to Tyler’s soft cheek and then mine before whispering softly, “See you tomorrow.”

I nodded, feeling the weight of his words hanging in the air. “Tomorrow.”

Hearing the front door open and close, I exhaled and realized I had been holding my breath. I kissed Tyler’s cheek, then lowered him back into his crib.

“Well, Tyler, that was your Daddy. What do you think?”

Tyler began gurgling and blowing bubbles all at once.

“Yeah, he has that type of effect.” Even on me. I still felt his touch clear down to the bone. Mark Saunders was back, stirring up all kinds of thoughts and ‘what if’s I rarely allowed myself to dwell on anymore. Nevertheless, I had asked myself several times during the evening if I had told him two years ago that I was pregnant, would things have been different?

I scowled at my thoughts. Why am I even pondering that possibility? I made what I thought was the right decision. Mark had never told me he loved me. He had never promised to keep in touch. Instead, he left and never once looked back.

Then why do you feel so guilty?

Tyler laughed, drawing my attention. He was fascinated by his new Elmo doll.

It was only on nights like tonight when I looked down at Tyler’s smile so strikingly like Mark’s that I found myself contemplating the choice I had made. I genuinely believed that raising Tyler as a single parent was the right decision, despite my older sister Tamara’s numerous lectures to reach out to Mark.

“He has a right to know,” Tamara would insist.

“I know...I know,” I would say.

With that in mind, I had written him three letters. When I never heard back, I felt confident I had made the right choice and never tried to contact him again.

Tyler tossed the toy aside and began to whine. I carried him into the bathroom, preparing for his bath.

I didn’t need any distractions. Tyler was my world. My attention had to be devoted to him. Anything else would be a waste of time. And the only way to keep my attention focused was to keep my distance from Mark. However, now that he knew about his son, that would be virtually impossible.

“What are we going to do?” I whispered.

My son didn’t offer any solutions, and I didn’t have any. All I knew was that Mark Saunders could turn my life upside down with a glance, and after that kiss… I knew I was headed for trouble. Because if Mark was back in my life for real, I had a feeling nothing would ever be the same.