18. Ethan
18
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I find myself in the gym earlier than usual with a fucking headache that won’t quit, getting some paperwork and scheduling for the next few weeks handled. Needing to do something to occupy my mind and push my body, I decide to go get my workout in sooner rather than later.
After grabbing my gym bag off the floor, I lock up my office and head for the locker room. Not in the mood to talk, I ignore the other member’s hellos and other random greetings. I don’t need company right now. What I need is to beat the fuck out of something until my anger subsides. I don’t care if it’s a heavy bag or a human one, I need to unleash the beast and let it all go.
On my way to the basement, I don’t stop to talk to Violet or bother to answer any of Hawk’s fifteen calls over the last hour. I know what he wants. Gabe’s called church for later this morning. I already got the text message from Jake. Knowing I must face them all again in a few short hours, hitting the gym to burn off some of my anger and calm my ass down seems like a good plan.
In the basement I find Kieran training the twins. Anna’s training self-defense escape maneuvers with Katie and Sadie over in the far corner. I didn’t know Sadie was in town again. Too pissed off to care, I don’t bother with any pleasantries or asking questions.
Seeing Kieran’s busy, I grab a jump rope from the hook on the wall and start jumping. My blood’s already boiling, making cardio seem much easier today. It’s always easier when I’m angry and need to push past the hurt of the burn to clear my head.
I don’t know how much time has passed when Kieran approaches. I only know my heart’s pumping. I’m breathing hard, and this has done absolutely jack shit in helping to calm me down.
“Boys!” Kieran, reading something on his phone, calls to the twins who are about to do their cooldown routine, without looking up from his screen. “Why don’t you go upstairs and finish cooling down, aye? I need the room to train Jake. No distractions. You understand.” He waves a hand shooing them toward the door. It’s not a request. They’re being dismissed.
He makes eye contact with Anna. She, Sadie, and Katie pack up their stuff.
“What gives Kieran,” Sadie huffs. “The almighty Ethan arrives and everyone else get the boot. Must be nice to be teacher’s pet,” she teases. I pay her no mind, keeping focused on my own shit.
Kieran follows them to the door, kisses his sister Katie on the head, then locks the door behind them. I watch as he texts someone, probably Violet. He always lets her know if he needs this part of the gym closed off for private training. I didn’t see anyone else on his schedule until later tonight, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Even if it was, Kieran would tell whoever bitched about it to fuck off.
“Come here, son. Sit down. Let’s get you wrapped up. Hawk tells me you’re fucked in the head over something having to do with the club. Now, I know you can’t divulge club business to me, but you can talk to me about whatever’s going on with you.”
Still not wanting to talk, I don’t know where I would start if I did. I sit quietly as he puts the wraps on my hands. “All right then, if a good sparring session is what you need to work through whatever’s eating you, then that’s what we’ll do. I have no problem beating the answers out of you.”
He puts my gloves on, tapping them when he’s finished. Jumping to my feet, I take a few swings, wiggling my fingers, testing them out. At my nod of approval, he gets up.
“Do you want me to get one of the other boys down here to spar with you or are you okay to go a few rounds with me? You’re choice.”
“I’ll spar with whoever you want. Doesn’t matter.”
“All right. Me it is then. Let me grab the pads. You go on inside and get warmed up.”
There’s a mat outside the steps of the cage where I wipe my feet off before climbing inside. Circling around, I roll my neck and take a few swings at the air, then roll my shoulders. A few squat jumps and I’m ready to go.
I need this.
Kieran enters the octagon, and we go to work. No words at first other than shot calls. He knows not to ask me anything when I get like this. What I need most right now is to work it out physically then I can think with a level head again. It’s what we do. What we’ve always done. Usually.
“So, the way I hear it, you’ve got pussy on your mind. I think you’ve got your head up your own ass. Settle the bet for me, would you?” He circles me. My jaw drops. I’m pissed people are talking about shit they know nothing about. Kieran’s amused by my irritation.
“Which is it then? Are you envisioning your head between the legs of some hot little blonde’s pussy or are you so far up your own ass you can’t see what’s in front of you? Or perhaps you’re thinking about a fiery redhead I’ve heard so much about?”
Stunned by his words, I pause, dropping my hands. “How did you?” Realization hits. “Hawk.” With my attention on how Kieran knew my business, he takes advantage catching me with a right hook making me lose my footing, stumbling back a couple steps.
“The fuck?”
“Ah, head’s up your ass for sure.” He chuckles, then almost as quickly his smile fades, his face turning serious as he yells in mine, “Now, put your fucking hands up and guard yourself, Ethan. The fuck is wrong with you, son? There’s no pussy inside my cage. Pull your head out and let’s get to work!”
Pissed he caught me off guard, I lunge, taking a swing at him, missing as he slips left. “This red head, what’s her name? Scarlet? She must’ve been one hell of a night.” He teases. “Hawk says you’re ass over tits for the girl. This true?”
He’s goading me. I know it. I know better than to fall for it, yet I still do. Because I’m an idiot and I’m pissed.
“She’s no one important.” Not to him anyway.
“The way I hear, she rocked your world then ghosted ya. You’ve been storming around town with your dick in your hand and a bug up your ass. Sounds to me like she’s someone you care about.” I catch him with a right cross. He smiles, getting the reaction he was looking for. We exchange one strike after another, blow after blow. It doesn’t hurt since he’s wearing pads, but it still pisses me off every time he connects.
Focus! What the hell is wrong with me?
My mind is all over the damn place. I should be focusing on my next move, watching my opponent’s stance, predicting his next move. Instead, I’m thinking about two women, who in a matter of days have managed to completely turn me inside out. Why?
Scarlet let her guard down that night. When she agreed to a private dance with me when I know damn well, she doesn’t do it for anyone else. It meant something. Didn’t it? The way she melted into my touch. The sounds she made. There was something there between us. I felt it. I know she did too, but then she ran scared. I want to know what the fuck I did to upset her. To fix it. But…wait. Skyler told Cash about me and Scarlet. How the hell did she know?
Did Hawk tell her too?
Fucking Skyler. Being around her, I can’t explain what it’s doing to me. It’s like seeing a ghost. One who has haunted me for years and now suddenly she’s not a ghost at all, but right in front of me. I can’t decide what I want more, to throttle her or fuck her into the mattress.
Fucking hell.
Kieran yells at me, “Cover up! Guard your fucking head! You want to get your ass handed to you?”
I’m so lost in my own damn head I don’t see what he’s doing until it’s too late. Kieran has dropped the pads covering his hands and is diving for my legs. By the time I realize what’s happening, he’s already lifting me off my feet, taking us to the mat.
I land flat on my back. He takes the guard position. We lock our bodies around one another. I’m pushing my hips up, twisting until I flip putting him on my back. I roll again, pulling his hands from my neck. We grapple. Twisting, rolling, flipping around and around with one another. Sprawling around the cage.
He pins me, I slip out and turn him over reversing the move. We go on and on like this for I don’t know how long. He pins me, I tap, we reset and vice versa.
In between each pin he’s yelling, cursing, telling me what a stupid fucking prick I am for letting some piece of ass fuck up my future. Those last words hit a nerve.
It only takes a couple seconds before Kieran is pinned beneath me. I have him in a full mount. He covers his face, then manages to roll to his stomach, and I get him in a rear naked choke. He taps before I lock it in place. When I release him the twisted fucker, laughs.
“So, it is pussy you’re all fucked up over? All right. What are you going to do to fix it?”
“Not sure I know what you mean.” We sit, leaning against the cage. He hands me a water bottle, taking a long pull from his own. A towel slaps me in the face. Kieran grabs one for himself, wiping the sweat from his face.
“Well, is it the dancer or the pretty little blonde lass you ran out of here the other day?” He turns his body to face me, scrutinizing me with his glare.
“The dancer is just, a dancer. We don’t know each other, although…”
“What?”
“I can’t help but feel there’s something familiar about her. I can’t put my finger on it. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not going back. She freaked out after we…” I give him a look that says we fucked. Kieran’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “She’s not like the other dancers.” I explain. “She has a personal bodyguard. She doesn’t give private sessions. I was the first, and only one she’s ever done that with from what Santiago tells me.” The cold water in my hand swirls and a spin the bottle in my hand trying to focus on the movement instead of the way her face looked when she came on my lap. “She wears a wig and a mask. They all wear masks, but she’s hiding…something else. I’m not sure if it’s from everyone or only from me, but she’s afraid of something.”
“Did you do something to scare her?” He raises a brow, his voice taking on a sterner tone.
“No. I mean, we fucked...” My hands go up. “But she initiated everything. She had rules. No touching unless she allowed it. She set the pace, controlled everything. I even told her we didn’t have to. I only wanted her time. To get to know her.”
“You mean to say you didn’t want to fuck her?”
“Of course I did! But I was willing and content to watch her dance or talk if that’s what she wanted. I’d been trying to get a few minutes of her time for a while. So, when her bodyguard said she wanted me in a private room, I took the opportunity.”
“How much did you pay for her time?”
“Nothing.” Kieran’s brows raise to his hairline.
“You’ve been trying to pay for private dances, she wouldn’t give you the time of day, and then out of the blue she gets you alone in the back and fucks you…for free? What changed?”
“Fuck if I know.” I shrug.
“Do you know the lass, outside of the Pearl?”
“That’s what’s weird. It feels like I do. She’s hiding something. She wouldn’t take her mask off, let me see her face, even in the private room. Since we had sex, she’s been MIA. She fucking vanished.”
“Maybe she was there to pay off a debt to Vincenzo.”
“No,” I snap. “He takes a lot of precautions when it comes to her, but I don’t think it’s anything like what you’re suggesting. She wears a wig and a mask. They all do, but she never takes hers off. I’ve seen the other women who work there walk around without theirs.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want people to know her identity. In her line of work, it’s not uncommon for some men to become infatuated with a fantasy of the women they go there to watch. Maybe she’s had a bad experience with a stalker and is being more cautious now.” The thought of anyone stalking her, wanting to tie her up and hurt her makes my fists clench. The water bottle in my hand crinkling as I crush in my grasp.
“There’s this pull between us, I can’t explain. It’s almost like…” I choke on my own words. I remember Xander mentioning how Skyler wore wigs when she worked for Cash at his bar to hide who she really was from the clientele. Hold up.
“What about the blonde, Skyler? Who is she?”
“Isn’t that the fucking question of the century?” Could she be…?
“I mean to you. Who is she to you?” Kieran reiterates his question.
“I don’t know how to answer that,” I tell him honestly. “She was once the girl I thought I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.”
“What changed?”
“Everything.” I scrub a hand down my face, collecting my thoughts. “She left me. The night Emily was killed, Skyler was there. She was the only witness who could testify, put the bastard away for life, but she …ran.”
“Jesus, kid.” Kieran lets out a deep sigh. “Did she witness the girl’s death?”
“I honestly don’t know. My mom told me Skyler was the one who called the cops to tell them where to find Emily’s body. Shortly after the phone call, Skyler vanished.”
“Vanished? But you said she ran. Which is it, Ethan?” He looks at me puzzled.
“Well, I can’t tell you everything. It’s club business. You understand.”
Kieran nods. He knows the rules of the club and how important being a part of the Kings is to me, so I know he won’t push for more than I can give.
“I was told she ran. It seems that isn’t the case. At least, not how Skyler tells it.”
“How does she tell it, then?”
“She doesn’t tell me much. According to her, she can’t tell me anything, except she left for me,and it wasn’t her decision.”
“Whose decision was it then? Do you know?” I nod. He throws his hands up expectantly waiting for me to give him a name.
“I think her dad and her uncle had something to do with it, but I can’t be certain. Ghost was a member of the club even back then and I think he may have used club business as a way to keep her from me. I don’t understand why.” My temper begins to rise as I remember the betrayal revealed in church. How Ghost admitted to hiding her trail. Eli admitted to keeping her hidden in plain sight. Then thinking about the way Cash and the others adore her, protect her.
I belong to myself. Skyler’s words float through my mind.
“You think the club had something to do with her disappearing act, then do you?” I don’t answer, but my silence speaks for itself. “You weren’t even a prospect when Emily was killed, right?” I nod, he’s right. “Then you wouldn’t have been privileged to know the club’s involvement or lack thereof, aye?”
“Not then, no. I would think someone would’ve said something once I patched in though. Her father at least.”
“Well, let’s look at this from another perspective.” Kieran walks out of the cage. I follow him his office and sit on his black leather couch. He grabs a cold water from the small refrigerator behind the large mahogany desk and hands one to me. Leaning back on the seat I take several large gulps of the cold refreshment.
“The club aside. Let’s talk about a man, his daughter, and her uncle.” Leaning my elbows on my knees, I listen to what Kieran has to say. “You say, Skyler witnessed Emily’s death.”
“I think she did. She knows something about it because she was there and called the police. I assume she saw something.”
“Ah, never assume, son. We all know what it means when we do.” He’s teasing, I know, but he never loses the seriousness in his voice. “Since we don’t truly know what exactly it is the child saw, we can’t begin to assume what it may have done to her.”
“What do you mean?”
“If she watched your sister being beaten and raped…,” he says as he turns to the bottom drawer of his desk pulling out a tumbler and a bottle of Jameson. As he pours himself three fingers of whiskey, he continues. “I can only imagine the traumatic effect of something like that. Would have on a young girl, of what was she? Eighteen?”
I nod, taking in his words, trying to see his point.
“The person responsible, you said he got away, aye?” He knows the answer to his own question, so again, I say nothing, just nod. “Would you if she were your daughter, your niece, keep her where a killer roamed free? A man who may have seen her face, knew who she was. Someone who may have wanted to tie up loose ends when it came out there was a witness who could potentially put him in prison for life. Would you feel she would be safe here?”
“The Kings would have protected her.” He stares at me, one brow raised as he sips his whiskey, then swirls it around saying nothing.
“Aye, it seems they did.” I don’t respond. I’m at a loss for words.
“You think George and Ghost made her leave town.” Kieran doesn’t say anything as he continues to play with his whiskey in between drinks. “Ghost did say Eli was a family friend, aye?” I mumble to myself. “But why keep her from me? Ghost knew I was looking for her. They’re my brothers for fuck’s sake, Kieran!” The more I think about it the angrier I become.
“Ah, I see the problem now,” he says, leaning back in his finishing off his drink. “You’re a selfish bastard and all you care about it how the situation affected you.”
“What?”
“I just told you, seeing her best friend murdered would have been traumatic. I’m sure it scared the living shit out of such a young girl. Her safety may have been at risk, and you’re pissed off because no one told you where she was. No one thought enough about your pretty little feelings, to give up the whereabouts of a young woman who may have very well been running for her life. I see why this has you so fucked in the head.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I yell throwing the half empty water bottle across the room. It hits a tall file cabinet and lands on the floor.
“Tell me, Ethan. Did you even truly love the lass?” My head snaps to face him. In three strides I’m in front of his desk leaning in. My heart is racing, my breathing ragged.
“The fuck do you mean by that, Kieran?” I growl.
“If you loved her so much, I can’t fathom why you’d be so upset to find out the very men who saved your sorry ass, were also protecting hers.”
He has a good point. I wasn’t even a prospect. The club didn’t have to tell me jack shit. Even after I became a member, it was before my time and by then, I had given up all hope of finding Skyler. I wouldn’t have told me either now that I think about it. I was a fucking wreck. I wasn’t stable enough to take care of myself. I know I wouldn’t have been any good for her. Especially if what Kieran suggests is true about her having been traumatized.
Jesus, I am an asshole.
“Maybe,” Kieran says, breaking me from my self-loathing thoughts. “…they didn’t tell you where she was or what was really going on, but do you know who killed Emily?”
“No. Some low life asshole she was dating.” I do know, but that information falls under club business.
“How can you be sure? Was he ever found?”
No. He wasn’t. “Without Skyler’s testimony, the cops couldn’t make an arrest. Only the drug dealer went to jail. The other charges wouldn’t stick without the witness there wasn’t enough evidence.” I sigh. “The fingerprints found in Emily’s car were her boyfriend’s. They used to ride to school together and hang out all the time. It wasn’t sufficient evidence to tie either of them to her death. And since he disappeared too, he was never questioned.”
“And what do we know about Emily’s boyfriend? Where was he when she was raped and murdered?”
“No one knows. That’s what always bothered me the most I think about Skyler’s disappearance. The person Emily was supposed to be hanging out with and her best friend and possible only witness both vanished.” I sit down in the chair in front of his desk, running my hand across the back of my neck.
“Could it have been someone, say, more dangerous than some asshole kid Emily picked up at a party? Is it possible the boyfriend had ties to someone Ghost or George would have considered to be a bigger threat? A personal rival perhaps?” I know what he’s saying without saying it. The Devil’s Order.
“Where’s my uncle? Where’s Ghost? They’ll be after him next.” Skyler’s words replay in my head.
“Son of a bitch!”
“Well, it would make sense why Skyler was hiding with a family friend then. One with very specific connections and skills. Judging by the look on your face, I’m assuming now you understand why she was there as well, aye?”
“Shit,” I stand heading for the door, only to stop with my hand on the knob.
“Go on. Go talk to the lass.”
“That may be easier said than done.”
“Why?”
“She may not want to talk to me…ever.”
“What did you do, Ethan?”Kieran groans.
“I accused her of being a club whore for Eli and his men.” My stomach drops. My head hits the door, while my shoulders drop.” Then I blamed her for her father’s murder. And told her I hope whoever killed George finds her.”
Fuck. Me.
“Well, son. You better learn how to grovel, and fast,” He chuckles. “Better yet, you better find a place to hide yourself. I wouldn’t want to be you when Ghost, Gabe, or the rest of those men find out what you’ve done.”
“Fuck” I have to get to church.
Then I’ll find Skyler and have a talk.
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