Chapter 6
Chapter
Six
I tap the rune. I must have done it a hundred times in the last few hours as I hide in bed. Finnegan, Rhodes and Aleksander were waiting for me outside the castle when I got back from my lesson a few weeks ago, and each one of them said Georgina changes nothing about us. But she does. The Gods put her here to punish me, and I deserve it. I just walked past them, and since then, ignoring them is my go-to. I know they want to make things better; I know they care, but I’m broken. I’m fucked up. I want them so badly that I can’t breathe thinking about them, and now the Gods have thrown a pretty, innocent woman who heals and is fucking angelic in the middle of us.
Dammit, this sucks. Does she have a connection to Onyx too? I wonder if I can piss Onyx off enough that he comes to see me and take the rune away. Diomi. I’ve repeated the word a dozen times, like a comfort blanket, but it doesn’t help much. It’s been weeks now since I’ve seen Onyx, and I miss him. This rune used to annoy him and keep him awake. I’d take him angry, mad and tired. I’d take any version of him at this point. I’d take any version of them all. I know I can just talk to Finnegan, Aleksander or Rhodes, but it’s not that simple.
Thankfully, my lessons have been nonstop, and I’ve had enough to catch up on so that I haven’t had time to think too much about Georgina. I pull my sleeve down, looking up at the ceiling of my room. Finnegan has been out of the academy for a week straight, working for the bastard alpha. Aleksander has taken over his classes, and Rhodes is in charge of shadowing me everywhere, asking me constantly if I’m okay. We both know I’m not.
Nibbles is the only highlight of my day, especially when my Nexus is a wolf every time I have a lesson with Tutor Hank now. She is done talking to me. Nibbles is stretched out in her bed, a bone-shaped teddy in her mouth. Her leg is getting better, but she still is struggling with walks longer than twenty minutes, and she is getting too big to carry, coming up to my knees.
I won’t cry tonight…not like most nights. I still can’t sleep either. I roll over, looking at Annie’s empty bed, and frown at it. Georgina needed help settling in, and Annie, being Annie, went and volunteered to help. Somehow Georgina has a connection to my mates, and now she’s managed to make my best friend sympathetic enough to go and help her every night after class, as she can’t fall asleep on her own. I hate her.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this jealous before. Jealousy like this is dangerous, and I don’t like how it makes my Nexus feel. Rochelle is one thing, but Georgina is something else altogether.
The door opens and I sit up with a smile. Annie always makes me feel better with snacks and a movie. “Annie, you’re back. What do you want to watch?”
My words drift off as Annie’s figure blurs. Her entire body looks like a blurry photo for a moment, and I crawl back onto the bed. Everything changes, like an illusion, and suddenly Severi is there. He shuts the door behind him, putting his finger to his lips. “Don’t scream, Tulip.” He is across the room in a heartbeat, his hand slamming onto my mouth. I bite him and he uses his weight to hold me down. He doesn’t even flinch. “Scream and I go and find Annie. I’ll make sure that I’m the only version of her walking around here.” He lifts his hand off my mouth, and there is a satisfying bite mark. “Marking me already? I should have come to see you sooner.”
“Don’t you fucking dare touch Annie,” I growl, but I don’t scream. On instinct, I reach for my Nexus, but of course, she likes this psychopath, and she sends me an image of us naked and biting his neck for fun. Oh, for fuck’s sake. She is not going to be of any help. I grab my Nex dagger off the side, and I lunge at him, slamming it into his arm as we both tumble off my bed. He winces, grabbing me around the waist to lift me as he stands. He slams me against the wall, pulling my dagger out of his arm like he doesn’t feel pain, and he presses it straight against my throat, pushing his entire body into mine, his massive hand holding me up just by my waist. “Let me go, you fucking monster.”
“I come to see you and this is the thanks I get?” He tuts and I struggle to get out of his firm grip. His dark locks of hair are windswept, and he feels cold to the touch, telling me he walked outside for a while to get here. His dark eyes fix on me, those haunting brown eyes that sometimes I see in my dreams. It’s a pity the Gods made him as handsome as he is bat shit crazy. “Be nice, my Nexus mate. I’ve actually come bearing gifts, and you stabbed me. Lucky for you, I like a little violence.”
I growl. “What the hell is wrong with you? How have you not triggered every alarm in this place?”
“Illusions. It’s a handy little trick I picked up from…” He pauses and thinks about the Nexus he drained. There isn’t a touch of remorse on his face. “You know what? I don’t even know if it was a man or woman. I can illusion everything about myself from my scent down to my very being, and walk straight through the barriers whenever the fuck I please.” He leans in like it’s a whisper, and his scent floods my senses. My Nexus is purring. “You can shout for me to help you, and I’d be there in an instant. You’re never alone, Tulip.”
“Fantastic, but I’d rather die than ask you for help. Do you want me to congratulate you on your new gift?” I laugh. “It won’t help you when you’re dead.”
“Is that a threat? Why is it so sexy when you threaten to kill me?” He grins. “You can smile at me. I appreciate a thank-you smile for making an effort in our mating. One of us has to.”
I purposely don’t smile. “You’re insane. Give me my Nex dagger. I’ll smile when I stab you again and again and again.”
“So violent.” He puts me down, removing the dagger from my throat, but he holds on to my Nex dagger. Nibbles wakes up at the worst time, jumping off the bed and wagging her golden tail as she sits for Severi and lets him fuss her ears. I need to work on her survival skills, because rubbing her head against our enemy is not a good idea. “Off to your bed, pup.”
“You shouldn’t be able to touch that. Vian can’t touch our Nex weapons. How is that even fucking possible?” I sputter. “And, Nibbles, we will talk about this asshole later.”
“I’m your mate,” he offers as a useless explanation. “Surely you’ve started to realise everything is possible between us.” He has a bag clipped onto his back. He pulls a box out of it and starts setting up a chess set on the floor of the room.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I go to the door, but he clicks his tongue when I touch the handle.
“I wasn’t joking about Annie. Sit your ass down. You’re going to play chess with me.” I’m not. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
“I bet I could get to Annie before you can.” I cock my head to the side. “And then you’re screwed.”
“No, I don’t think you can. She’s with Georgina, right? I know exactly where she is, and I have someone watching them. I send one word to him, through here”—he taps the side of his head —“and she’s dead. Long before you’d even stepped out of this room.”
“I fucking hate you,” I sneer.
“I hate you too. Come and sit down.” He pats the rug on the floor. I think of the bloody mirror, my Nexus, and I grit my teeth. I promised her I would be nice, and I’ve already stabbed him once. I need my Nexus to keep behaving, and so far it’s been weeks since she killed someone. I reluctantly go and sit on the other side of the chessboard. “Good girl.”
“I’m not playing chess with you,” I snap, crossing my arms.
He pretends I didn’t say anything at all. “Your father liked to play chess, right?”
“How do you know that?” I’m actually surprised. Unless he was friends with my father or my father told him, I’m not sure how he could have known that at all.
“I’ve watched you for years. Your father liked to play chess. I know everything about you.” He waits and waits, finishing the setup of the wooden chess set. The chess set is the same as the one I used to play with my dad, and it brings back so many memories. It makes the ache in my heart deeper. I miss him so much.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“I gather you play really well. I want to see.” He waves a hand at the set. “I played chess with my sister for a long time, too. She never beat me, but I think you can. Maybe beating me will be a bit more satisfying than stabbing me and less painful.” He’s still bleeding from his arm, but he doesn’t seem to notice or care. He follows my gaze to his arm. “I’m glad you care, but don’t worry about my arm. I have natural healing from being a Vian. We heal faster than Nexus do.”
“You said you’d make the chess game worth my while.” I change the subject.
He doesn’t call me out on it. “We each get a question, and we have to answer it honestly. You can ask me anything you want. I’m sure there are many things that you want to know.”
“How could I possibly know you’re telling the truth?” I shake my head. “You’re a liar. You’re literally my enemy.”
“I swear it on my Vian soul.” He touches his chest.
“How do I even know that is a thing?” I roll my eyes.
“I would have thought your mother told you, but ah, she was a liar, too.” What the fuck is he talking about? “We treasure our souls and our mates. Those two things are single-handedly the only things we care about. You can trust that if I swear on it, it’s real. I’d swear on you too, but a little too risky for my liking. Don’t like to tempt the Gods for something I actually care about.” My cheeks burn at the stare he gives me.
“Fine.” I make a move first. I move my pawn into place. “Why does the Vian hate the Nexus and want us all dead?”
“You had to start off with a complicated and boring question.” He tuts like he is disappointed I asked that question. I’m sure he would have preferred a question about himself. “I don’t know the original reason why or what started the wars between our kinds, but when there are powerful beings, one race always wants to be on top. All I know is that my father is our king, and he wants you all dead. Your kind are not innocent, and the Vian have suffered far more than you have been told. Have you ever considered that you might be on the wrong side of the war?” He doesn’t wait for my answer. “While my father rules, you are always going to be our enemies. We don’t need your powers to survive. We don’t need anything from you to survive, but we want change. We are born with our own powers, and draining Nexus is not an instinct. It is taught to our soldiers, just like your rangers are taught to kill. Having extra powers is actually a nuisance, complicated and really fucking annoying. Drives us all a little mad if you take too many powers. It’s almost like it’s a curse to take.”
I’m shocked silent for a moment. “I did not know that.”
He moves his pawn next and asks his question. “Why can’t you swim? You lived in Spain for years, by beaches and pools. Why the fuck can’t you swim? And why are you scared of water?”
“I never said I wouldn’t lie,” I counter as I gulp.
“Come on, play the game properly, or I’ll stop telling you any truths that you want to know. I’m sure you have other questions.” He leans back to rest against Annie’s bed. “You’re smart and capable of anything, so why does deep water freak you out?”
Fuck it. “My parents used pools and the sea, any deep water to train my Nexus and her power to make sure I had control over it. I developed a fear for it, and learning to swim kind of negates the whole fear.” His eyes flash black and I swear he’s angry for a second, but then he schools his expression completely. I move another pawn into place. “What’s the Morrigan?”
“Where did you hear that?” He looks surprised and somewhat happy. “Did your Nexus explain it to you?”
“I asked the question.” Why would my Nexus tell me anything?
“Fair.” He smirks. “The Morrigan is a part of our history. She was a Goddess and the only real Goddess that we worship. The phantom queen, the queen who will come to save us with fate, war and endless death. Some say she’s been reborn, but no one knows if that is true. The human history books talk about her, and it’s the one Goddess they got right, but not all of it. The Morrigan pulled a dark star from the sky to save her lover and made the first Vian. She died saving him, as our priests teach.”
“Tell me more about her,” I demand.
“You asked me what she is, not a full description of her. Ask your Nexus, not me.” He moves a piece. “Why did you reject them? Not the excuse that your parents told you to. Not the ‘because I’m a monster and I was scared.’ I want the real reason.”
“The real reason…” I pause. “Because I knew I could never be normal and I would always be a danger to them. I thought I could be alone. I was fifteen. I thought I could be alone forever and not ache for anything more. I was wrong…I don’t want to be alone. I knew it the second my parents died and I was truly alone for the first time.”
“You were never alone,” he whispers, like it’s a secret between us. Our mating is just that—a secret, one that would get me killed.
I move my knight. “Tell me what your father’s planning.”
“To rule. It’s that simple, and no one can stop him.” He is firm on that, and it scares me how easily he’s talking about murdering millions to win.
He moves his castle. “Does your Nexus want me as much as I want you?” I cough on thin air and he laughs. “I’ll give you some bonus information for answering this one, as it clearly bothers you. I’ll tell you something you won’t ask for, but you’ll definitely need to know.”
“Yes,” I say through a clenched jaw. “But she doesn’t get what she wants. She’s a spoiled brat. What bonus information?”
“Do you know that the Vian don’t have trials? We just kill for any crimes. My father has no need for a trial for anybody that’s found guilty of the many laws that we have in our city,” he offers. They have a city. “But if a Nexus breaks the rules, you have several trials. There’s one that’s fascinating to me. It’s called the Rite of Freedom. If someone does something so bad that they were never going to escape death, that they will end up killed by your kind, they can plead the Rite of Freedom. The Rite of Freedom was first done by your ‘Gods’ to make up for one of the sins of their lovers.” I frown. I’ve never heard of it.
“The person who pleads the Rite of Freedom,” he continues, “will go before the five Gods and complete a trial set and designed by the Gods in the arena where the Gods were buried. No one ever survives it, from what I’ve heard, but really fascinating. There’s still proof of your Gods here in Starlight, but our Goddess? Just whispers. Starlight City is the only city that can do the Rite of Freedom, but no one would be crazy enough to actually call for it. It’s like praying for a painful death… Now if you win it, apparently you get an audience with the Gods.”
“Interesting, but I don’t need to know that. You just wanted to know if my Nexus wanted to sleep with you,” I mutter, and his returning grin makes his dimples appear. His muscles under his dark shirt clench as he leans forward. I wipe the figures off the chessboard and move back. “Enough with the fucking questions. You need to leave.”
“Touchy, touchy, and such a temper. Has anyone suggested you go to therapy?” He stands up as I throw a queen figure at his head, and he catches it, putting it into his pocket. “I’ll be back and we can play another game for questions. I really enjoyed this.”
“You’re bleeding, dickhead.” I clench my fists. “Don’t you dare take my Nex dagger with you.”
“I ain’t giving you that until I’m gone. I’ll leave it outside for you. We both know you’re just dying to impale me with it the minute I turn my back.” He waits for me to lie and say I won’t.
I just smile. “I’ll go for the throat next time. The arm was just me being nice.”
I hate how happy he looks when I threaten to kill him. “Bloodthirsty little mate.”
“I’m not your mate!”
His laugh sends shivers down my spine. “You will be. When I come back next time, I want you to come with me out of here before it’s too late.”
“Too late for what?” I counter. “Some imaginary thing you’ve made up to make me come with you?”
“You’re in danger, Tulip. You always have been, but it’s different now. Starlight City is nothing but a blip, and it’ll be gone soon.” He offers me his hand. “And I don’t want you to be hurt.”
“You can’t just blip an entire city out of existence,” I mutter. “You’re a liar.”
He steps closer, and it’s too close. I can’t move back, not unless I sit on the bed. “I’m not lying to you right now. You can bring your pathetic mates if you really have to, but you need to get out before it’s too late.”
“I’m not leaving and you’re insane.” I freeze when he touches my cheek.
His fingers drift down to my jaw, and his touch…it’s not bad. I hate how I don’t hate it. I force myself to remember the torture, remember the way my mother screamed in fear and my father tried to be brave, right until the end. He did that. He is not mine; he is my enemy and that can never change. “About you, yes. We’ll discuss this again soon, but one of your mates is coming. The assassin one.” He steps up into my space, and I want to step away, but my Nexus takes over, holding me in place as he leans down and brushes his lips against mine. She desperately wants me to kiss him back, but I don’t let her. “Call me your enemy as much as you like, but I’m glad to be your anything. I’ll see you soon. Remember what I said.”
He slips out the door as my heart races and my Nexus whines in my mind. I rush over to pull the door open, only to find Finn leaning down to pick up my dagger. I search the empty corridor, and my shoulders drop. “Good to see you too, Sun. Why was your Nex dagger outside your room?”
“Um, I don’t know. I must have dropped it,” I lie. “I should have been more careful.”
He hands it to me, and I slide it into my thigh holder. “Mm-hmm.” He comes in and sniffs the floor. “Why does it smell like Vian blood in here?”
“I don’t know. Odd, right? There must have been some of my old clothes when I was moving stuff and cleaning earlier,” I lie again. Finnegan stares at me like he can read my thoughts. Like he can see that I’ve been playing chess with my enemy for answers and to keep my Nexus happy.
“Okay.” He sits on my bed. “I’ve missed you.”
My shoulders drop as I close the door with a kick of my boot. “I’ve missed you too. What did the alpha have you doing now?”
“Nothing worth telling you about.” He lies too and I can’t call him out on it, not when I’m lying too. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” I tell him, glancing at the chess set on the floor one more time. I shut the door behind me and slam my head back on it. I’m totally and utterly fucked.