Chapter 27
Reid
Either Evan’s parents were having a great time socialising, or they were being thoughtful in how much space they were giving us.
I probably should have felt bad that they’d essentially left their own house for us to have sex in it, but as I came down Evan’s throat in the shower, I couldn’t find it in myself to care.
We finished the night just as we had the one before—with me cuddled on Evan’s chest as we talked about everything and nothing.
The perfection of it terrified me. I was meant to be keeping my distance. Living on clan lands with a shifter wasn’t what I wanted for my future. But being held in his arms, whispering into the wee hours, I couldn’t seem to find that distance.
We were careening along a runway at top speed, with neither of us willing to put on the brakes. We might fly.
But we might crash.
How the fuck had I got myself into this situation so fast? Impulsivity was my middle name, but strangely, this didn’t feel impulsive.
It just felt…right.
When my alarm woke us the next morning, I grabbed at my phone so fast it hit the floor. “Balls.”
Evan’s chuckle was raspy with sleep. “Since when do you respond to the first alarm?”
I picked it up and hastily silenced the alarm. “Since we’re in your parents’ house and I don’t want to wake them.”
There was a message on my screen from Chester. One that had my lips lifting in a smile.
“They’re not here.” Evan’s jaw cracked as he yawned, oblivious to my quiet joy. “They must’ve crashed somewhere else.”
My smile dropped as mortification filled me. “They didn’t need to do that.”
He squinted at me. “I know, and they do too. Don’t worry, it’s pretty common here. It’s part of clan life.”
His words jarred me. Growing up in a clan, I thought I knew everything there was to know about this way of life.
I was quickly learning how wrong I was.
Evan snagged my arm where it was braced on the bed, sending me tumbling against him with a small oof. He gathered me close with a smirk, wrapping his limbs around me like an octopus. “Shame you’ve got to go to work. If Chester wasn’t your boss, I’d be persuading you to pull a sickie.”
“Well, I’ve got good news for you there.” I propped myself up on his chest. “Chester messaged. Shop’s closed due to the snow.”
Delight sparked in Evan’s eyes. “Normally I’d take the piss, but I suspect Finn had the same idea as me this morning. Remind me to buy him a present.”
I rolled until I was between his thighs. “I’ll make a bouquet for you to give him.”
“Yes, because I’m sure he has no one else in his life to do that for him,” he said cheekily.
Manoeuvring myself, I lined my cock up with his. It was a struggle to get my hand around both of us, but I managed. Evan’s laughter dissolved into a moan.
I grinned down at him. “Sorry, did you want to continue taking the piss? Or would you rather I got us both off?”
“The second one,” Evan said urgently, groping for the lube. “I take back everything I said. Make bouquets for everyone. The whole fucking clan. Just don’t take this away. I might die if you do.”
Frotting was so much better with lube. Especially with Evan content to lie there and let me boss him around. He hadn’t been lying about how he felt about me taking the reins, not with how he sprayed all over us both.
It was only after we were both spent and trudging into the shower that Evan’s words returned to me.
“Don’t take this away. I might die if you do.”
He was just teasing. Being dramatic. Plus, he was talking about the sex, not what we were sharing…right?
If you believe that, you need a knock on the head.
It was almost impossible to hide the ensuing spiral that followed from Evan. I don’t think I succeeded, not with how he lapsed into silence, watching me with eyes that were suddenly cautious.
The truth was, I liked Evan. Too much, really, given how fast we were going.
But Evan came with a clan and a lifespan ten times my own.
I had to remember that.
Iblushed the entire way through breakfast with Evan’s parents.
They didn’t return until mid-morning, and by then, we were dressed and decent.
I’d insisted that we cook up a full spread as a thank you to them for giving us privacy.
Evan had protested that it wasn’t necessary, but after I kissed him senseless, he’d given in.
“I’ll agree to anything if you keep kissing me like that,” he’d teased, his hands bracketing my hips.
It had warmed me. It was a superpower, but not one I was sure I deserved.
Even if I secretly wanted it.
Despite my blushing, we made it through breakfast without a single comment being made. It made sense, I supposed. Parents generally didn’t like to think about their offspring having a sex life.
It wouldn’t have happened with my father. He would’ve used it as an opportunity to belittle and sneer at me.
He’s dead now. He can’t hurt you again.
Evan made sure of it.
If only I could be as certain about the rest of it.
After breakfast, Evan persuaded me to go for a walk. I was a little apprehensive about being out and about in the clan lands, but either everyone was asleep, or the snow was keeping them indoors.
Our breath hung in the air as our footsteps crunched over the white blanket. “God, I love snow. It makes everything so fresh. Clean.”
Evan smiled wryly, lifting his head to the sky as new flakes begun to fall. “Same. I wouldn’t mind it being a bit warmer though. I’m not sure if my little toes are gone or just numb.”
I tugged my beanie down over my ears. Sodding thing kept slipping upwards. “At least you run warmer than me. And you can, you know, go furry, if you get too cold.”
His laugh was like a bark. “Go furry?”
I shrugged, lowering my head to hide my grin. “Well, you’re not furry now, so I think it works. It’s the main difference, after all.”
He looped an arm around my shoulders, tucking me against him with a chuckle. “God, I lo—”
We both froze at the same time.
He hadn’t been about to…No. He couldn’t have…
For a second, there was no sound. Not even our breaths.
I think we were both holding them, too afraid of what was going to come next.
Fear shone in Evan’s eyes as his throat bobbed. “Fuck. Reid, I—”
That was another sentence I was destined not to hear the end of. This time, he didn’t cut himself off.
A snowball did it for him.
He gaped at me, snow dripping from his face comically. “Um, what the fuck?”
A voice that sounded suspiciously like Logan’s roared from the direction of the clan house. “Attack!”
Evan had me over his shoulder before I could blink and charged for the tree line. Snowballs of various shapes and sizes cascaded against his back before he flung us both behind the trunk of an oak.
I peered around to see it wasn’t just Logan. Calan, Finlay, and Chester all stood on the porch of the clan house, rapidly forming more snowballs. “We’re outnumbered.”
“Not for long,” Evan muttered, tapping away on his phone before pushing it back into his pocket. “How are you with balls?”
I grinned, already bending for a handful of snow. “You should know the answer to that already.”
Evan winked as he crouched to join me. “You’ll have to give me a refresher.”
“Later,” I vowed. “Right now, we’ve got a battle to win.”
“A battle, you say?” A deep voice rumbled from between the trees before two massive shifters appeared.
The dark haired one I recognised from the other night, when the Clarksons had attacked. It wasn’t him who’d spoken, but the redhead.
My gaze darted between them, the pieces sliding into place. “Hamish and Brodie?”
“Aye,” Evan said, waving a hand in my direction. “Reid, meet my friends. Hamish is the chatty one. Brodie is the silent, straight type.”
I laughed at the scowl they both gave Evan. Brodie seemed to take personal offence. “Why the fuck does my sexual orientation come into it?”
Evan shrugged, still making snowballs. “You’re the one who keeps reminding us you’re straight. Figured it was worth a mention.”
Brodie huffed, but my attention was on Hamish as I slowly rose to my feet. “You’re the one who was protecting me the other night.”
Hamish stiffened, his lips thinning. “I think ye mean I’m the one who failed ye.”
What the fuck was he talking about? “Um, absolutely not. You kept me alive while facing multiple shifters. Alone. Long enough for reinforcements to arrive. You didn’t fail me, Hamish. You protected me.”
His green eyes were uncertain as they met mine. “Really?”
Fuck it. He looked like he needed a hug.
Throwing my arms around his middle, because reaching his shoulders would be too awkward, I squeezed him tight. “Positive. Thank ye.”
Brodie cleared his throat. “Looks like they’re building a barricade to fire from behind. Should we get on that?”
I released Hamish and realised the three of them were looking to me for an answer. “Yeah. That would be great, thanks.”
After they left, I turned to see Evan smiling at me softly. “What?”
“That was a nice thing you did,” he said, wiping off his hands and straightening.
“Hamish has probably been beating himself up since the other night. He wouldn’t have listened to any of us telling him the same thing, but coming from you?
I think it will’ve got through. Shifters are notorious for not letting go of mistakes.
The tiniest supposed failure can dog us for years.
Hopefully that won’t happen now with Hamish. ”
I studied him as he watched his friends furiously piling snow into a low wall.
A nagging sensation began to burn at the base of my skull.
Had Evan let go of the guilt I’d thrust upon him?
We’d talked about it once and agreed to leave it in the past…
but how could I? If there was even the smallest chance Evan was still suffering, I had to fix it.
I couldn’t bear him hurting. Especially not because of my past arsehole-ish actions.
Evan hadn’t said what he just had to make me feel bad. I didn’t think the similarities in the situations had even occurred to him. He was just happy that I’d put his friend’s mind at ease.
But they’d occurred to me.
What Evan felt was likely a hundred times worse than what Hamish had been feeling, but all I’d done was apologise.
Suddenly, it didn’t feel like nearly enough.
This was Evan. The one who’d stood through storms to keep me safe.
Who’d memorised details about me that no one else would even care enough to notice.
Who’d come running whenever I’d called. Whenever he thought I might need him.
Who’d offered up his heart, knowing full well I’d likely break it.
I couldn’t let this linger. I just couldn’t. I had to know he was okay. That he knew what he’d done was right.
That I’d been the one in the wrong.
Evan turned to me with a grin, completely unaware of the mental journey I’d just taken. “You ready to take down some cocky shifters?”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, tears filling my eyes. “Ev, I’m so fucking sorry.”
His brow crinkled as he took my elbow, pulling me deeper into the woods. “For what, sweetheart? I don’t understand.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I said. Well, blubbered, if I were being honest. Evan’s company might have been pushing back the numbness, but that meant my emotions were wobblier than a house of cards on a windy day.
“You tried your best too. You took time out of your busy schedule to spend time with a chatty human kid. You showed me kindness when no one else did. And since you’ve come back into my life, you’ve continued to show me the same kindness, and I’ve just punished you over and over again. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” He pulled me into his arms, resting his chin on my head. “Enough of this, sweetheart. We’ve talked about this already. I don’t need your apologies, and I certainly don’t want them.”
“But I was so awful,” I sobbed, clutching at the front of his coat. “I took all of my past out on you, and that wasn’t fair.”
“Reid, I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree on this,” he said, stroking my back in soothing motions. “You were well within your rights to be mad at me. What happened wasn’t my fault, but I’ll always regret making the decision I did.”
“You didn’t make them abuse me.”
“I didn’t stop it either.” He eased me back to look at me. “I want us to move forward from this, Reid, but I can’t forget it.”
See, this was why this conversation was needed. We’d said we could leave it in the past, but neither of us had done.
Me, by not fully accepting what I’d put Evan through…and him by not releasing the guilt.
“I think we can only go forward if we close the door on this, Ev. Properly this time. I’m letting go of the anger, but you need to let go of the guilt.
I’m not saying either of us need to forget it happened, but we can’t keep letting it shape who we are to each other now. It’s not fair for either of us.”
He exhaled slowly before nodding. “Okay. I can try and do that. But I want you to accept three things in return.”
“What?”
“First, you accept that I’m going to always try and keep you safe, even if it annoys you.”
My lips twitched. “Okay.”
“Second, I’m going to try and make you happy.”
Was it suddenly hot out here? Because there was real danger of me melting into a puddle. “And the third?”
His lips curved before they met mine. After giving me the sweetest kiss, he pressed our foreheads together, our breath mingling in the frigid air. “The third…you’re not ready to hear.”
“So you’re expecting me to just accept it without knowing what it is?”
He grinned. “Yup. What d’ye say, Reid?”
I chewed on my lip for a second before smiling. “Fuck it, I’m in. But if you’re tying me into naked karaoke or some other bollocks, I reserve the right to make your life a misery.”
Evan’s laughter rang through the woods. “Deal.”
A loud whistle pierced the air. We turned to see everyone staring at us expectantly.
“We doing this, or are you too chicken?” Logan called.
My eyes narrowed. “Oh, it’s so fucking on.”