Chapter 29
Reid
It took more courage than I’d ever admit to walk back into the dining room. I’d held my chin high, rehearsing my apologies in my head.
But it had been completely unnecessary.
Conversation had been in full flow when we’d returned. Everyone had smiled at me when we slid back into our seats, but no one commented on what’d happened.
When there was a lull and I tried to apologise, Logan had cut me off by insisting I try Calan’s bread.
Evan rubbed my knee under the table. Their message was clear. They didn’t judge me, nor did they want my apologies.
I didn’t know if it was out of pity, or because Calan and Evan were both right in saying this sort of shit happened all the time. Whatever it was, I was grateful that they didn’t draw any attention to it.
It took a while for me to relax enough to join in with the conversation, but then Hamish asked if I’d heard of a game called Demon Hunters.
Suddenly I couldn’t shut up.
None of them seemed to mind that either.
The moon was high in the sky when we finally left. I was a little wobbly on my feet thanks to the three glasses of wine I’d had. After Chester had informed me the shop would be closed tomorrow too, I’d thrown all caution to the wind and decided to indulge.
“Your friends are so nice,” I confided in Evan as we made our way slowly to his parents’ house. “I love them.”
“They loved you too,” he said huskily, his bare arm around my shoulders. He’d been wearing a coat, but had bundled me up in it the instant he spotted me shivering. “Hamish and Brodie are going to hold you to that lesson on how to speedrun Demon Hunters.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” I really was.
And it wasn’t just them I’d made plans with during the evening.
Somehow, I’d agreed to a double date with Chester and Finn, a shopping trip to Inverness with Logan, and a cooking lesson with Calan so he could teach me his famous pavlova recipe.
“It was such a good night, even if I almost spoiled it at the start.”
Evan leaned down to nip lightly at my earlobe with a growl. “Stop that. Ye didn’t ruin anything.”
I wanted to point out that I’d said ‘almost,’ but I bit it back. Evan and his friends had shown me a kindness and grace I’d never experienced on clan lands before. I wanted to respect that.
“I’m proud of you for going back downstairs,” Evan said. “That can’t’ve been easy, but ye did it.”
A warm glow kindled in my gut. I’d never had someone tell me they were proud of me before. “You’re right. I did.”
I took a deep breath. “I think I’d like to speak to a therapist, too.”
Evan’s head snapped around. “Are ye sure? I wasn’t expecting you to make a decision this fast.”
I shrugged. “Meh. ‘Fast’ is how I make ninety-nine point nine per cent of my decisions. If it feels right, I go with it. And this does. Feel right, I mean. Clyde fucked up my past, but I’m done letting him fuck up my future. To be honest, I’ve thought about it myself before now.”
Evan stopped suddenly, pulling me around to face him. When we were face-to-face, he looked at me with such intensity that it had my breath catching in my throat.
“You’re so fucking special,” he said. “I’ll never stop being grateful that you took a chance on me.”
Then, in the softly falling snow, he kissed me.
Amonth passed in almost the blink of an eye.
While my days went back to normal with me returning to the shop, that was about all that did. Even that now had the added bonus of Evan being close by. I’d been worried he’d be too much of a distraction, but he was very well behaved.
For the most part, anyway. There was the time he sucked me off under my desk while Chester was out making deliveries, and another when he fucked me in the storage cooler, but that was on my lunch break.
The McCarthys seemed to have structured things so that Evan could be the one guarding me around the clock. I’d tried to protest, but it had been feeble at best.
The truth was that I wanted to be around Evan as much as possible.
My days off were spent with Evan too. He showed me the places he used to haunt as a kid, cooked me romantic dinners, wrapped me up in his coat at the slightest sign of a shiver.
I’d even attended more than a handful of dinners with the rest of the inner circle, and others with Hamish and Brodie. Unlike the first one, I’d managed to get through them without making a tit of myself.
The cooking lesson had happened too, although my pavlova resembled more of a pancake.
For a heartbeat, I’d panicked, waiting for the censure to follow.
The recriminations. Instead, Calan had simply declared that it was good that this had happened, as he fancied Eton mess and now had an excuse to make it.
Everyone had loved it too, lavishing me with praise I was sure I didn’t deserve.
I kind of loved it though.
I’d also spent several evenings gaming with Hamish and Brodie. Evan didn’t join in, but he did come with me, content to have me sitting on his lap while I yelled at the screen.
The only plans that hadn’t been followed through on were those that required me to leave the main clan lands.
Other than going to work, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to go anywhere else.
It was stupid—I’d be safe, I knew that. But it almost felt like tempting fate.
The Clarksons might’ve gone quiet, but they hadn’t gone away. My luck wasn’t that good.
That was why I also hadn’t met up with Bryce, Mac, or Cole. I had reached out to them though. Evan had persuaded me to message the group chat, explaining that I’d been going through a rough patch, that I loved them, and was sorry for ghosting.
Their responses had been kinder than I deserved. I’d cried for a solid hour after reading them, Evan holding me in his arms. The relief at knowing I hadn’t fucked things up on a permanent basis was almost overwhelming.
One day, hopefully, they’d be an active part of my life again.
That was if this situation with the Clarksons ever got resolved.
My nights were spent with Evan. Despite spending all our time together, we never ran out of things to talk about. Often I’d fall asleep mid-conversation, using his chest as my pillow. Waking up in the same place never got old.
All in all, for the first time in months, I was happy.
I should’ve known it couldn’t last.
It was my day off, but I was spending it without Evan. He’d been summoned to the main house. Apparently, our reprieve from what was happening with the Clarksons was officially at an end. Logan had been off trying to gather information for the past couple of weeks.
Whatever he’d returned with had had Finn calling an urgent meeting with the inner circle.
Evan had asked me if I wanted to attend the meeting. After thinking it over, I’d decided I’d rather not. I trusted the McCarthys to take care of things, and Evan to let me know what I needed to.
It was foreign feeling, willingly handing my trust over to a clan of shifters. I supposed I’d been doing it for months now, but this felt different. I wasn’t just trusting them to guard me, but to sort the situation with my former family however they saw fit.
It was…freeing.
But it also meant I’d been left with nothing to do.
That wasn’t strictly true, I supposed. Thanks to Evan, I had everything I needed to entertain myself. I could game, mess around on my laptop, do a puzzle. But none of those appealed.
I’d spent months willingly isolating myself, but the interactions over the past few weeks had reminded me of what I’d been missing out on.
I was a social butterfly at heart, and I’d let my fear of the situation force that part of me back into its cocoon.
Even though I’d been spending time with Evan, his friends, and his parents, I hadn’t really spent any time around other clan members.
I rarely even ventured outside the house if there was a chance of running into someone.
Maybe it was time to stop hiding.
Marching downstairs, I sought out June, knowing she’d probably be going out to help someone today. I found her in the kitchen, stirring something on the hob.
“Good morning,” I chirped.
“Reid.” Her face lit up with a smile as she put the wooden spoon down and gathered me in a hug. She did the same thing every morning, and it never got old. “Did ye sleep well? Are ye hungry? I’ve got some porridge in the slow cooker.”
Tears pricked at the backs of my eyes as she embraced me. Why was it suddenly upsetting me now? It hadn’t done before.
Probably because the Clarksons have popped back up. Now you’re remembering that no one there ever hugged you like this.
That made sense. I didn’t like it though. I might’ve said I was ready to speak to a therapist, but I’d taken approximately zero steps to make that happen.
Should probably get on that.
“I’m okay food-wise,” I said, clearing my throat and smiling as she let me go. “Drank a wee bit too much wine last night, which I’m totally blaming Hamish for, but thank ye.”
She hummed. “Well how about a cup of tea? Cures all manner of ills.”
“That would be great. I can make it though, don’t let me take ye away from your…” I peered in the direction of the pot. “Chilli?”
“Aye.” She chuckled, returning to her stirring. “Becca had her second wean a few days ago. She lives a few doors down. I’m cooking a few meals to take over to her. Last thing exhausted parents want is to have to worry about dinner, especially with a toddler running around too.”
I filled the kettle as she spoke, grabbing two cups automatically. “That’s so kind of ye.”
“It’s what we do,” she said, still stirring. “We all pull together during times like this. Births, deaths…just general exhaustion. Your clan is only as strong as your weakest member. You can’t succeed unless everyone is loved and cared for.”
The sob that burst free of me caught me by surprise. I slammed a hand over my mouth to try and stifle it, but it was too late.
Yep. I needed to stop putting therapy off.