Chapter 29
I ignored the burning in my eyes and sat straight and still as I waited for him to speak. But internally, I was going through everything we’d said to each other just last night.
I wasn’t na?ve; I knew this had to do with what’d happened to his office. But I knew enough about the man in front of me to know he would do what he felt was necessary to protect people.
“That’s just it,” he finally said, his voice so much more reserved than before, “I can’t be the one to let you go, but I want you to leave.”
I tried swallowing past the shards of glass in my throat, but even that felt like a struggle. Knowing the reason behind his words didn’t take away their sting. It didn’t reduce the fear and panic they created because—new and complicated or not—I knew with absolute certainty that I was supposed to have found Asher Briggs. I knew my life was supposed to lead me to those surprising meetings with him, and every moment after.
“To keep me safe, or for another reason?” I asked, the words strained. When he didn’t respond, I whispered, “Even if it hurts.”
His eyes subtly rolled before narrowing on me as if I’d insulted him. “You think it’d be for any reason that would hurt you? Lainey, I haven’t been able to think past you for nearly a year. All I want is to protect you. But I’m worried you’ll try to prove you’re strong enough to stand by my side when you don’t know what you’re up against.”
“What happened with the office?” I asked softly, then reached for his arm when he shook his head. His hand curled around mine so abruptly, gripping me to him as if he needed my touch, that it forced a stunned breath from me. “Asher?—”
“I wanna be selfish for the first time in my life,” he began, words low and filled with longing that tore through me. “I wanna keep you forever because you make me want something else for my life. But I want you to take Kaia and go , Lainey. I want you to live that life you were working toward before you fell back into mine.”
“No.”
“Lainey—”
“No,” I repeated firmly. “I have spent so long trying to make everyone else happy. I’ve spent just as long trying to meet their unrealistic expectations. But I’ve never had to do that with you—I found myself with you. Don’t start telling me how to live now too.”
“That isn’t—” A harsh sigh ripped from him before his hand released mine to curl around the back of my neck. “Never,” he vowed as he pressed his forehead to mine, his deep voice a breath along my lips. “I want you to be safe, and I wanna protect you, but I’ll never tell you how to live. The choice will be yours. Always.”
“And if I choose to stay?”
His head shifted just slightly against mine in a nod before he captured my lips in a soft, brief kiss. “Then I’ll consider myself lucky.”
I stole another kiss before leaning back with a sigh. “You’ll still have to let me go at some point.” I feigned amusement I couldn’t quite feel yet after the heavy conversation when I said, “No kidnapping, remember? Besides, I think I found a place to live.”
Asher’s eyebrows lifted in bemusement. “You aren’t going back to your parents’?”
“No, I...I moved out after a day that just—” A weighted breath left me. “It was last Monday,” I explained and watched Asher’s expression darken. “I wasn’t sure I could be hurt by anyone else. I’d found out everyone had been lying to me, including my sister, and I just needed to get out. So, I packed up and left right then.”
“And now?” he asked when I didn’t go on.
“I ran into a girl I know when I got here with the deadly duo—Chloe. She’s a few years older than me, but...” I gestured around me with the coffee cup. “Huntley. Anyway, she’s been renting out a small house with her best friend for a handful of years, but her friend just got married, so she’s looking for a housemate.”
Asher’s head bobbed as the corners of his mouth twitched. “Did you say ‘deadly duo’?”
My eyes widened as I glanced around for Hudson and Mallory, but they were nowhere to be seen. “Okay, they’re...unnaturally stunning,” I said on a whisper as I met Asher’s amused expression again. “And even though Hudson has literally hit on every woman we’ve seen, beneath that smile, he looks like he kills people for fun. And Mallory is definitely Assassin Barbie.”
A shocked laugh punched from Asher. The rough sound so loud and unexpected that even Kaia stopped simultaneously chewing on the teething beads and reaching for a basket of food to look up at him.
“I’ll never hear the end of it if they know you think that,” Asher said as he smoothly moved the basket away from Kaia’s chubby fingers. “But even though they’re good at what they do and more than capable, they aren’t the ones you should’ve given that title to.”
I thought of his gentle giant of a best friend and the other two I’d only briefly encountered, then locked on the dark eyes watching me. “Oh,” I murmured when I realized what he was hinting at.
“You can still leave,” he offered.
“I didn’t leave the first time you kicked my chair away and grabbed a gun from under the kitchen table,” I reminded him as I lifted the cup to my lips. “This doesn’t change anything.”
The look on Asher’s face let me know he’d expected my response and was relieved by it, but he would still change it if he could.
“You said you think you found a place to live,” he said, but the unspoken question lingered between us as if he’d spoken it out loud.
“Well, Chloe asked if I was interested and nearly begged me to move in right then,” I told him and gave Kaia a smile when I noticed the cheesy look she was giving me. “But it was hard to think anything through when I didn’t know what was going on with you, and Mallory was staring Chloe down like she was one flinch from drawing a gun on probably the bubbliest person I’ve ever met.”
“She’s usually more subtle,” Asher mused, and I gave a breathless laugh.
“I think she terrified everyone who stopped by to say hi to me.”
Asher’s gaze searched out the area as he muttered, “It’s probably because it’s you . Because of what she knows you mean to me. Protecting strangers and people we hardly know is one thing...” Those dark eyes found me again. “Protecting what’s mine is another.”
Warmth crept into my cheeks, and my stare fell as I absorbed this newest claim.
For someone who spoke in frustrated sneers and grunts and had trauma linked to the words I love you , Asher’s unflinching honesty when it came to the way he felt for me was staggering.
I’d been saying I love you to Jackson for so many years, that I hadn’t realized it’d become an automatic, obligatory response. I hadn’t realized that it’d lost its meaning somewhere along the way.
And while I still didn’t know if I loved Asher Briggs or if he loved me, I knew his bold declarations meant so much more than an overused, obligatory phrase.
“I see,” I said as I fought the smile tugging at my lips and failed when I noticed Kaia’s look of concentration as she studied the beads as if they were fascinating. Tugging at the end of the chain, I met Asher’s patient expression again. “Anyway, I told Chloe I’d let her know soon.”
Understanding rumbled in his chest. “And until then? Where do you wanna stay?”
My lips automatically parted to remind him about the hotel until I remembered Gray had dumped all my things in Asher’s apartment last night. I’d stowed it all away in the guest room so Asher wouldn’t be bothered by the mess when he got home, but I had no intention of actually staying there because... no. Right? That would be...soon and...soon.
“What just happened?” he asked, snapping my attention back to him.
“What?”
His brow furrowed, and if I hadn’t spent so much time obsessing over this man and his expressions, I would’ve worried I’d upset him because he looked so much more angry than confused. But as ridiculous as it was for any man to look that handsome angry , I could see the whisper of concern in his eyes.
And it had embarrassment surging in my chest because I realized just before he spoke what he was going to say and what I was going to have to admit.
“You looked like you were panicking.”
“This is absolutely one of those times I would rather not say what I was thinking,” I said on a breath.
Asher’s brow furrowed even more as he clearly tried to figure out why , his lips parted to ask before realization lit in his eyes.
Oh no.
A wolfish smirk tugged at his mouth that really gave Hudson’s a run for his money, but he just nodded and ran a hand over his beard as he made another sweep of the Square, forcing the smirk away as he did. “Lainey, I’ll never turn you away. But don’t feel like you have to stay with me.”
“I don’t,” I said quickly—too quickly from the way his chest pitched with a laugh. “I don’t, I just...my stuff’s there, but I...”
He gave me an understanding look when I struggled to continue. “We’ll find somewhere for you.”
I deflated a little despite the relief winding through me. “It’s not being somewhere with you. I’m just worried if I stay there tonight, I won’t leave, and that feels too soon. It’s one thing when it’s for something like last night or for Kaia, but?—”
“I understand,” he assured me with a soft pass of his lips across my own.
Someone cleared their throat near us in obvious amusement, but even though I jerked away to see the lethal couple watching us from across the table, Asher just slowly turned a cold glare their way as if he’d known they were there all along. “Timing isn’t your strength.”
“The food’s getting cold,” Hudson said as he sank onto the bench, smiling at Asher as if he was enjoying every second of this.
Asher watched them for a while longer before shifting his head my way again. “Why didn’t you go to Ada’s when you left your parents’?”
“I thought about it,” I said as I pushed the basket closest to me toward Hudson since he was inhaling the food in his. “But she lives on the other side of the blueberry fields. I figured my parents would look for me there first.”
“And now?” Asher asked. “Would you wanna go there?”
A gentle smile pulled at my mouth as I thought about it. “Yeah. It would actually be nice because I haven’t seen her that much with everything going on.” I started reaching for Kaia’s bag behind me before remembering I didn’t have my phone. “I can’t call her—my phone’s at the hotel.”
“I will,” Asher said, but hesitation warred from him as he continued sitting there. “And Kaia?”
“Asher...” His name left me on a saddened breath because I wanted him to see—to know —that he was what’s best for his niece.
But before I could try convincing him again, he said, “We’ll do whatever you want, but I’m gonna be gone a lot while I get things figured out with the office. And I don’t want either of you in my apartment. Not right now at least.” His destructive stare drifted to where Hudson and Mallory were pretending not to listen before quickly scanning the crowd. “Maybe not ever.”
“What happened?” Hudson asked around a bite of food, stealing the question from me.
Asher looked like he was going to ignore it again, but after a relenting sigh, admitted, “Enough for me to want Kaia far from my apartment.”
“Asher, she needs you,” I told him softly, silently begging for him to understand that.
“Later,” he nearly begged, his eyes catching on mine for a few seconds before he dug his phone out of his pocket. After a quick call to Ada, he leaned close and asked, “You hungry?”
“No.” I hadn’t had much today other than the coffee Asher brought me, but with the little he’d just told us, my stomach was twisting even worse than before.
“Then let’s get out of here,” he offered as he cradled Kaia against his chest with one arm and reached for me with the other.
Neither Mallory nor Hudson so much as flinched as we got up, seemingly content to stay there as if that’d been their plan all along.
“Meeting tomorrow,” Asher told them. “I’ll let y’all know when and where.”
Mallory nodded. Hudson winked at me.
“Are you dropping me off at my aunt’s?” I asked as Asher led me toward the cars lining the street. At the nearly imperceptible slant of his head, I lowered my voice. “Asher, talk to me.”
“Everything,” he vowed as he pulled me to a stop, his stare darting around before meeting mine in a clear plea. “I’ll tell you everything once I’m not worried about who might be watching us or listening to us.”
I wanted to tell him we were safe; that this was Huntley.
But I had a feeling my assurances would mean nothing to the man clinging to me and his niece because I didn’t know what he’d been through the past twenty-four hours. I didn’t know what he’d seen or been forced to do in either of his careers. And even though I’d been given glimpses, I couldn’t comprehend what he’d experienced in his childhood.
So, if he was worried about eyes and ears in the adorable, safe town we were standing in, I needed to trust his instincts. After all, Asher knew a mafia family in Dallas—had dealt with and been threatened by them before. Until last night, the mafia had been nothing more than entertainment on screens and pages to me.
I hadn’t even known when they’d been standing behind me, going through their practiced motions in preparation to take me.
“Later,” I whispered in agreement, then turned for the cars, more anxious to get to them than before.