36. Maddie
36
MADDIE
The bed beside Maddie was cold when she woke up.
Is he gone?
Sitting up with a gasp, Maddie tossed her sheets to the side. Her feet hit the soft rug under the bed, and she’d didn’t bother putting on socks or slippers as she headed out of the room, her heart pounding.
Brooks was in the living room, though, laptop open in front of him, phone at his ear.
Thank God.
Her footsteps faltered as he looked up, then held up one finger toward her, his gaze falling to the side.
He’s still here. He didn’t leave.
She swallowed hard and went into the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of water, she took a few sips, watching him.
They hadn’t had sex last night, which was the first time they hadn’t since they’d started a sexual relationship. It was weird, in a way. They’d actually just slept together. That was it. No physical expectations.
He’d held her, and they’d slept.
Somehow, that feels oddly intimate.
“Email me a contract as soon as possible, then. All right. I look forward to it,” Brooks said into the phone. He hung up a moment later, closed his laptop, and stood.
Stretching in his sweatshirt and pajama pants, he looked . . . comfortable. “Morning.”
Almost at home here.
Her heart throbbed, and she remembered his attempt to leave the night before.
Maddie set the glass down on the counter, then hurried toward him. She slipped her arms around him, laying her cheek against his chest as his arms tucked her in. “I thought you were gone.”
“I promised I wouldn’t leave, Maddie. I just needed to make some better security arrangements for us both.” He kissed the top of her head.
They stood in the still, quiet apartment for a few moments, and Maddie listened to his heartbeat, her eyes closed. Drawing a long breath, she pulled away, then tugged him back onto the couch. “You still want to leave, though, don’t you?”
Brooks scrubbed his face with his hand, sighing. “It’s not about want , Maddie. I don’t want to leave you, no. I don’t want to hurt you, either. But I’m not going to lie and say that I’m entirely at peace with staying, either. When I think about how many people got hurt yesterday, though, it fucking terrifies me. And it could have been much worse, too.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
Because he was right, yesterday had been horrible. And that woman who’d come after her could have stabbed her.
She interlaced their fingers. Was she being selfish? Was it selfish to ask him to stay when he wanted to leave? To put his fears to the side?
The longer they spent together, the more she realized she had no clue at all what his life was like. Celebrity life seemed so charmed on the outside. But, then again, they’d always been in her world. Not his.
“It’s not working, Maddie, you have to admit that.”
She gave him a sharp look. “I’m not working out or one-day-at-a-time isn’t?”
“God, you know I don’t mean you.” He looked away, his hand tightening against hers. “I’m trying, Maddie. Trying to come up with any and every solution to keep you safe. But we’ve been together for two weeks, too. I can’t ask you to give up your friends, family, and world and come be with me in LA, where we might be safer. And I can’t stay here shuttling between a long-term rental and your place for forever. I don’t know how to make it work. I’m open to suggestions.”
The irony of her having moved in with Josh after two weeks wasn’t lost on her.
And what I feel for Brooks is so much more intense than anything I ever felt for Josh.
But he was also right. She wasn’t ready to leave her friends and family and go to LA. She had to have learned something after that experience with Josh.
“Would you consider long distance?” she finally asked. “I think defining what we’re doing would help a lot.”
“Is that what you want?” Brooks studied her. “To have a long-distance relationship?”
“It’s better than nothing. ” She turned her body toward him so she could face him better. “You’re right. I’m not ready to move across the country and live with you. But you’re making security arrangements for me here, right? And really, I’d imagine the threat to me is nothing compared to the threat to you. But who knows . . . maybe we can reevaluate our living situation after a while and figure out where to go from there.”
He scanned her face, a skeptical but hopeful look in his eyes. “So you want to go all in? Plane trips back and forth, talking on the phone, you know, the whole bit?”
“Yeah, I do.” She gripped his hand. “I want to be with you, Brooks. And if that’s the way we have to do it for now—even if it means more time apart than together in the meantime—then so be it.”
He brushed his thumb against her knuckles, clearly considering the idea. “What happens when the tabloids posts pictures that worry you, though? I’ve seen it happen so many times in long-distance situations. Tabloids love a good salacious story, especially where one doesn’t exist. It will get to you, Maddie. Wear on you. Even if you trust me. Because other people—like your family and friends—might be the ones coming to you with news before I even get a chance to explain myself.”
“Then how about I promise to never make a judgment before I give you a chance to explain yourself?” It sounded naive, even to her, but what else could she offer?
“That may be easier said than done.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “But it’s a start.”
“So is that a yes?” She scooted closer to him. “Will you consider dating long-term and long distance?”
He held her gaze, then nodded. “Right now, I’m willing to consider anything to keep you in my life. I’m serious. But your safety is the most important thing to me, too. And I have to admit that, after yesterday, this town doesn’t feel like the haven I hoped it would be.”
She ignored the latter part of his statement, focusing instead on the fact that Brooks had just said he wanted a long-term relationship with her.
Long-term.
Her heart fluttered, emotion overtaking her.
God, I really, really care about him.
Love him.
She slid her arms around his neck, dipping her forehead against his. “Maybe that’s the part we figure out a day at a time, Brooks. Because I’m not willing to compromise on the us part of this, okay?”
He kissed her gently. Cautiously. “Okay.”
She sank against him, resting her head against his shoulder. “There’s one more thing we have to do today, though,” Brooks said, tracing his palm over her thigh softly.
“What’s that?”
“I need to go apologize to your grandfather. Make sure he’s all right. Because he’s not out of the woods yet, and if something happens to him, I’m not sure your family will be as forgiving as you are.”
She kissed his neck. “They will be, Brooks. I promise. My family is the least of our worries, but I want to go see Pops too.”
She tried to relax into him, taking comfort in his arms. His presence.
A voice in the back of her head told her she was being naive, though. Her family might have more to say about what had happened with Brooks than they had. Naomi’s reaction to Brooks in the first place should have taught her that.
But if we’re together, we’ll figure it out. We can make it work.
She had faith in that. In them.
And he was willing to take the leap with her.
That’s all that matters.