6. 6
Hayes
Then
M y hands won’t stop sweating no matter how many times I wipe them on my jeans. I’ve played college football in packed stadiums and sung in sold-out arenas, but I’ve never been as nervous as I am right now.
I’ve taken Rowdy and Bailey’s advice to heart and asked Jane to meet so I can end our relationship.
Assuming we haven’t already broken up. It seems redundant to me. I’m 95% sure we already did.
Okay, maybe 90% sure.
I didn’t tell Jane the reason for the meeting, just that we needed to talk. But after three days of radio silence on my end, what else can she expect?
Nelson, my condo building doorman, called to announce Jane’s arrival. On cue, the penthouse elevator doors chime as they open into my foyer.
Jane’s outfit is on point, as usual. Her strawberry blonde hair is styled in a sleek French twist, and her makeup, applied with a light hand, highlights her natural beauty.
She’s wearing a royal blue dress that looks like it was custom-made to fit her body.
Years ago, I mentioned that blue made her eyes pop, and ever since, she has worn the color almost daily.
Looking at Jane, you’d never guess she’s grieving a breakup, or in the middle of a fight, depending on who you ask, with someone she claims to love.
She appears poised, polished, and completely dispassionate.
It’s a stark reminder of why we’re here today.
The passion I shared with Annabelle made it clear what I want in a romantic partner. And what Jane and I always lacked.
Like the rest of her, Jane’s sapphire eyes are cool and composed.
Nothing like the warmth of Annabelle’s sunflower eyes.
Jane glides toward me, her arms outstretched in welcome, while I stand from my chair. I greet her, my voice sounding raspier than normal because the nerves are getting to me. Jane rushes into my arms, and I awkwardly pat her back before releasing her.
“Ruston Hayes, I have missed you so much. I’m sorry I stormed out on you.
I should never have broached the topic of marriage.
” She stands on her tiptoes to reach up for a kiss, but I retreat to avoid her lips.
A look of hurt crosses her face as she falls back onto her heels.
“You aren’t ready for that level of commitment yet, so I’ll give you more time. ”
Well, shit, this isn’t going as planned.
I motion for her to sit in the chair next to mine. Taking a deep breath, I scrape my hands through my hair as I try to remember the speech Bailey helped me practice last night.
“Jane, you’ll always be family to me. But our fight," the word sticks in my throat, because I still can’t quite accept that it wasn’t really a breakup, "was a wake-up call.
We tried to make this work, but the truth is we want different things.
You deserve someone who can love you, but that person isn't me.”
“What?” Tears flood Jane’s eyes as her detached mask slips, peering up at me in uncertainty. She shakes her head as she pleads, “No, you can’t do this. Hayes, you mean everything to me. How can you not feel how much I love you? Don’t do this! I can love you enough for both of us!”
“But you shouldn’t, Jane,” I murmur, looking down at my boots with a heavy sigh.
“Jane, you’re wonderful and perfect, but…
I’m not the guy for you.” I grab her hand, squeezing it tight between my fingers, hoping that she can feel how much I care for her and how much I hate hurting her.
“One day, you’ll find the right guy, but it isn’t me. ”
“I don’t understand, Hayes. I said I'll give you more time. As much time as you need! We can move forward more slowly."
She looks at me expectantly, as if her imploring words will sway me. While it’s worked in the past, it won’t work this time. We’re too far gone.
"We don't need more time, Jane. What we need is to move on. Separately."
"Move on? What changed, Hayes?” Yanking her hand from mine, she jumps out of her chair, pacing. “Is there someone else? Have you been cheating on me? ”
I frown. Well, this is a bit of a gray area. The silence that stretches between us is awkward as I grapple with the right way to answer her question.
“Oh my God, there is someone else, isn’t there? How could I have been so ignorant? So na?ve!” She whirls around to face me once again. With her hands on her hips, her cheeks flush. “You owe me the truth, Hayes.”
She deserves to hear the truth from me. Since Rowdy and Bailey already know about my one-night stand, it won’t be long before someone else finds out. Eventually, word will filter down to Charlotte, and she’ll tell her younger sister. “The night we broke up—”
“What are you talking about? We never broke up!” Jane seethes. “We had a fight!”
I maintain my composure, but only just, as I throw my hands in the air. “Well, I’m an idiot because I thought since I didn’t propose, and you stormed out… I assumed we broke up. So, I went to a bar, got hammered, and ended up in bed with another woman.”
Jane gasps and stumbles backward upon hearing my blunt admission before dropping onto a bench by the elevator. All the color has leached from her face, and when she meets my eyes, I witness her pain. I drop my head into my hands, remorse filling me.
I’ll never regret my night with Annabelle, but I regret causing Jane pain.
“What? How could you do that? How could you break us?”
The anguish in her voice guts me, but I force myself to keep going.
“Jane, we were always broken. We got together for all the wrong reasons.” Truer words were never spoken.
“You were trying to get over your ex, and I was grieving and lonely. We made a stupid mistake when we hooked up, but that should have been the end of it. We shouldn’t have stayed together for a fucking year trying to make it work. ”
Jane pats her face with precision, drying the few tears that spilled over her cheeks without disturbing her mascara, and then she straightens her spine. “That’s it then. We’re done.” And just like that, her armor snaps back into place.
“I hope one day you can forgive me, and we can get back to being friends. I know you’ll need time to process and move forward, but I’ll always consider you part of my family, Jane.”
I mean it, too. After losing my mom to cancer two years ago, the band is the only family I have left.
But, as much as I hate hurting Jane, the relief I feel when I hear the elevator doors close is immense.
I feel free.
Free to locate and pursue Annabelle.