Chapter 8
Rowan
The silence stretched in Marcus's car as he drove us back to his place, but I barely noticed. My mind was too busy replaying the dinner with Eli, picking apart the things he said and the way he looked at me.
I knew that look. Eli always got that way when he thought something was off. I usually trusted his instincts, but it didn't make sense this time. He’d met Marcus twice, and already he'd decided there was a problem. The thought made my stomach twist.
It wasn't fair to Marcus. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He was just looking out for me. Making sure I didn't get overwhelmed. He just had a tendency to take the lead when I hesitated. That wasn't a bad thing.
But I couldn't stop thinking about a certain word that slipped out of my mouth.
Controlling. I didn't even know that word was in my head until it came out.
And the way I snapped at Eli... Why did I get so defensive?
He hadn't exactly accused Marcus of anything, but I was already bracing for a fight.
Maybe I just didn't like the way Eli kept pushing about it. He didn't know Marcus. He didn't get how things worked between us.
I exhaled, rolling my shoulders and trying to shake off the tension as Marcus parked on the street. He shut off the engine and turned to look at me. His sharp blue eyes flicked over my face, and I knew right away that he'd picked up on my mood. He always did.
"You've been quiet."
I forced a small smile. "Just thinking."
He reached over to brush his fingers along my jaw, then he tilted my chin so I had to meet his gaze. "About what?"
I hesitated. Lying to him outright didn't sit well with me, but telling the truth would just make things more complicated. So I settled for something in between. "Elias. He, uh... He was acting a little weird tonight."
"Yeah, I noticed." His voice was smooth, almost casual, as his thumb brushed idly over my cheek. "Seemed a little too interested in what's going on with us, don't you think?"
"He's just protective. He always has been."
"Protective," he repeated, like he was testing the word. Then his lips curved just a little bit. "Or maybe possessive?"
I blinked. "What?"
His hand slid down to the side of my neck, fingers warm and firm. I had to focus to not react to the slight tickling sensation. "Think about it. He shows up out of nowhere after years of barely being around, and suddenly he's concerned about who you're dating. Feels a bit convenient."
A flicker of doubt surfaced. I did wonder the other day, just for a moment, if maybe Eli was a little jealous. But possessive? When Marcus pointed it out like that, it sounded wrong. It didn't fit with the Eli I knew. "I mean, I don't think he'd – "
Marcus cut me off with a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth, then whispered, "You don't have to think so much."
His lips caught mine properly this time. Gentle at first, coaxing. It was easy to lean into him and let him take the lead. His hand slipped to the back of my neck, fingers threading through my hair, and the warmth of his body against mine helped ease some of the stress I'd been carrying.
When he pulled back, his gaze had softened. He brushed his nose against mine and murmured, "Come inside. Let's just focus on us for a while."
I nodded and let him lead me up to his flat.
I was able to relax as I stepped inside. As usual, the rooms felt comfortable and put together. Marcus had an eye for making a space look good without cluttering it up, and I always appreciated how calm and orderly it felt when I came over.
Marcus closed the door behind us, and then he stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin lightly on my shoulder. His warmth settled against my back. "You're still tense."
I let out a quiet laugh. "It's been a long day."
"That's why you shouldn't let him get under your skin."
I frowned. "He's not – "
He pressed a slow kiss to the curve of my neck, cutting me off before I could finish. "Mm. I'll run the bath. You need to relax."
I hesitated, caught between the noise still buzzing in my head and the comfort of the moment. But the promise of warmth and quiet was too tempting to turn down. "Yeah... Thanks."
His arms gave a light squeeze before he let go and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
When I heard the water turn on, I pulled out my phone – though I wasn't sure what I expected to see.
No new messages. A part of me wondered if Eli would text again or push the issue.
I wasn't sure if I wanted him to, though.
"You know," Marcus called over the sound of the water, "I don't get why he's so suspicious of me."
I quickly tucked my phone away. "What's that, now?"
"He watched me the whole time. Almost felt like he was waiting for me to slip up or something."
I had to think for a second about how to respond to that one. "He's a photographer. He's always watching everyone."
"Or he doesn't like seeing his best friend with someone else."
That uneasy feeling crept in again. "That's not – "
"I know, I know." The water stopped, and he appeared in the doorway with a towel slung over his shoulder. "Just saying. It's easy to judge from the outside."
He had a point. Eli wasn't part of this. He didn't understand Marcus the way I did. He didn't see the things I did.
"Anyway, bath's ready." He held out the towel and moved aside so I could pass.
I nodded and offered a small smile in return as I stepped past him. The room was already filled with steam, the water warm and inviting. I undressed and eased into it to let the heat chase away the tightness in my muscles.
I needed to let go of the past few hours. To stop replaying Eli's words in my head. He was overthinking things. And if I wasn't careful, I'd start to do the same.
By the time I pulled myself from the water and wrapped a robe around me, my limbs felt looser and my thoughts had quieted. I stepped into the bedroom and almost immediately felt Marcus behind me before I even saw him. It startled me initially, but that was his way of goofing around.
His hands drifted down my arms until our fingers entwined, and I felt a light kiss against my hair. "Feel better?"
I nodded and leaned into him without thinking. "Yeah."
"Good." His hands let go of mine and slipped to my waist, moving slowly and deliberately.
One of his fingers hooked into the tie of my robe and gave it a gentle tug to loosen it.
Then he leaned in to press a soft kiss to the back of my neck, and it sent a shiver down my spine. "I just want to take care of you."
Before I could react, he guided me to turn to face him and caught my mouth in a firm kiss. His hands slipped down to my hips, and I let myself sink into it. After everything today, this was what I needed. To let myself feel wanted and belong to someone who cared about me.
He nudged me back toward the bed, his movements smooth and practised.
I let him lead, and my breath caught slightly as he kissed along my jaw and down my throat.
His hands slipped beneath the folds of my robe to nudge the fabric aside.
I barely fought back the urge to shiver again as his fingers trailed against my skin.
It started soft. Slow. Tender.
But then his grip tightened a bit, just enough for me to notice the change. His kisses grew more insistent, his hands moving with an unusual urgency. He manoeuvered me down onto the mattress, and his weight pressed me down with a kind of force he didn't normally use.
My breath hitched as his fingers dug into my hip. Not painful, but harder enough that it didn't feel right.
I tried to push the thought away. I tried to focus on the feeling of his breath against my skin, the way he whispered my name. But there was an odd edge to it now. Something more demanding.
His teeth scraped against my shoulder, and I flinched a little.
It didn't hurt exactly, but he wasn't being gentle about it, either.
I wiggled beneath him to try to ease the pace and get him to soften a bit.
But he only pressed closer. One hand slid up to cup my jaw and tilt my head back so he could kiss me deeper.
"I've got you," he murmured, his voice rough, almost unrecognisable. "Just let go."
I wanted to. I tried to. But his hands gripped just a little too tight. It made my stomach turn.
I almost asked him to slow down and ease up a little. But the words caught in my throat when he kissed me hard, silencing any protest before it could take shape.
He adjusted his weight above me to pin me down even more firmly.
His fingers caught my wrists and held them against the mattress with a grip that felt like it could bruise.
A quiet protest rose in the back of my throat when his nails dug a little too deep into my skin.
I tried to move just to get a little bit of space, but he didn't let me.
"Relax, Rowan," he whispered against my ear. "I know what you need."
His knee nudged between my thighs, spreading me open without hesitation. A flicker of unease curled at the edges of my thoughts, but I forced it down. I tried to focus on the way he was kissing me – demanding, consuming, like he was trying to make sure I couldn't think about anything else.
It was working.
I tried to press my legs against him to slow him down, but he just shushed me.
His lips found my throat, sucking a bruise into the skin as his grip tightened again.
When I tried to ease some of the weight holding me down, he pulled my wrists to hold my arms over my head and kept them there. I couldn't move them if I tried.
"Marcus – "
He cut me off with another kiss. Hard enough that I couldn't get much air. I tried to endure it, but at some point, I felt lightheaded and started to struggle. Only then did he let up to let me catch my breath.
"Let me take care of you." Finally, he released his hold on my wrists, but I didn't have time to move away. His arm immediately caught around my waist and pulled me up against him.
A strangled gasp rose in my throat as he pushed himself into me.
The sudden pressure and pain made my stomach tense.
His movements were rougher than usual, more forceful, almost urgent.
I bit back a sound, unsure whether it came from a place of discomfort or surprise.
His hold around me didn't loosen, and his fingers dug in so tightly that I was sure I'd find marks there later.
I tried to say something, but then he nipped at my neck. For some reason, that was enough to stop me.
"You feel so good like this," he whispered. "Just let me have you."
I took a slow, shaky breath and did my best to relax beneath him even as the nerves made my muscles coil tight. He just wants me. That's all this is. He's just caught up in it.
Marcus could be intense sometimes. That's just how he was. I could handle it.
So I let him do what he wanted.
* * *
Afterwards, Marcus was all softness. One arm stayed curled around me, while his other hand slid up to tangle in my hair.
The switch from his earlier roughness to this quiet tenderness felt almost disorienting.
A dull ache throbbed through me, but I tried to focus instead on the warmth of his touch now, the way he pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead.
"You're perfect, you know that?" he murmured, his voice drowsy, affectionate.
I let out a slow breath as I tried to settle into this. This was what mattered, right? Marcus loved me. And if something about tonight felt off... Well. That was on me. I let my nerves get the better of me.
"You're so good for me, Rowan." His fingers brushed slowly down my spine, deliberate and light. "I don't ever want to lose you."
A faint smile tugged at my lips. He always knew what to say to make me feel wanted, even when my thoughts tried to creep in and twist things around. Marcus was always there to pull me back and remind me of what we had.
I let my eyes close so I could focus on the warmth of his hold. His hand continued its lazy path along my back, and then his voice came again as he pressed a kiss into my hair.
"I don't like seeing you upset. Maybe you should take some space from Elias. Just until things calm down. So it doesn't cause you any more stress."
Space from Eli?
My thoughts may have been sluggish and wrapped in a haze of exhaustion, but the idea still should've made me pause. Right now, though, it was easier to just nod. Not quite agreeing. Not disagreeing, either. Just ... letting it happen.
Marcus sighed softly and pressed another kiss to my temple. His arms tightened around me, his warmth sinking into my skin. "I just want what's best for you. You know that, right?"
I was too drained to do anything more than make a quiet sound of agreement. Maybe a little space from Eli wouldn't be a bad thing. Not forever. But I'd been so on edge lately and stretched between too many things. I just needed a chance to refocus.